Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009
| “ | "And you've got to be living in Virginia, ladies. 18 to 27. Smoke-free. Caring, true, honest. Not black." | ” |
| Chris, being a ladies' man. | ||
A.k.a. CWC Update 05222009. Chris addresses to his loyal fans by explaining that he has shut down the Sonichu website after it was compromised by Clyde Cash. He tries to ask for a personal army by asking his fans to take down the trolls since he expects his loyal fans to fight his battles. There are awkward silences throughout the video either because he's trying to demonstrate authority or he just spaced out like the retard that he is. At one point while repeating the fact that he's straight, he has big bug eyes a la Brian Peppers. Chris, who is too retarded to figuring out troll from sweetheart, is letting his father filter his calls. For a few seconds, the viewer gets a chance to see the new medallion that Chris has created, which he will wear in his Pussy Quest. The phrase "see you on the campus" might suggest that he might search for a sweetheart in either Piedmont Virginia Community College or the University of Virginia.
Video
Transcript
Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009.
(voice cracks) I wish to uh, let you all know that uh, please disregard the uh, statement that was on the uh, on the uh, cwcville.com front page, as that was obviously that was an obvious lie, made by the trolls, who hat into my account. But anyway, I also would like to announce, that, as of this moment, the website is down. I have closed the account associated with it. I may come back with a news a new website and newsh, new comics and stuff, I may not.
But, to my loyal fans, I thank you for you fulsh for your support and appreciate your efforts, but, so what, what you all can do now is, like, y'know, find, go to your normal lives uh, (raises eyebrows to imitate human emotion). Live free. OR, if you want some, if you have nothing to do, you can track down the trolls for me. Dis-including that Clyde Cash. Down with those slanderous trolls. (assumes a bossy stance) I GIVE THEM NO MORE FOOD TO FEED OFF OF! (awkward pause, silence, video cuts to Chris, eyes wide open) I'm straight. And i will only accept person-oh, person to person encounters. No e-mails, no phone calls. Unless you calling on my hh-home phone, and talk to my father... (facial spasms and/or mini-stroke) And you gotta be livin' in Virginia, layyydieees. 18 - 27. Smoke free. Caring, true, honest. Not black. And the trolls, just, stay away, period. Y'all have a good day now. Peace! (the video cuts again) Oh and also, before I forget. Ap, until the uh day I put up the website again, if I should decide to, or not. (shrugs) I wi-I will not be putting up en-too many new videos either. So, any videos that are obviously uh, falsified with my face that might say otherwise... Do not believe them. Only uh, I will let you know obviously when the website is back up. (voice becomes slightly drunk with power) You'll know iss true. (camera cuts to a Blair-Witch-Project-like shot of the Sonichu medallion, hanging off the ceiling) Mee-till then... See ya on the campus!
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