Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009
| “ | "And you've got to be living in Virginia, ladies. 18 to 27. Smoke-free. Caring, true, honest. Not black." | ” |
| Chris, being a ladies' man. | ||
A.K.A. CWC Update 05222009. Chris explains that he has shut down the Sonichu website after it was compromised by Clyde Cash. He tries to call for a personal army by asking his fans to take down the trolls, that is, if they "have nothing to do". There is one particularly long, awkward pause during which he stares down the camera. He struggles for a few seconds to find the appropriate facial expression, and eventually settles into one he probably believes shows himself as fearless and challenging, complete with hand on hip. He reaffirms that he will accept only in-person encounters, but adds that he will accept phone calls to his home number that have first been handled by his father. For a few seconds, the viewer gets a chance to see the new medallion that Chris has created, which he will wear on his Fuck Quest. He ends the video with the phrase "See ya on the campus", likely referring to the University of Virginia.
Video
Transcript
Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009.
[voice cracks] I wish to, uh, let y'all know that uh, please disregard the, uh, statement that was on the, uh, on the uh, cwcville.com front page, as that was obviously, that was an obvious lie, made by the trolls, who hacked into my account. But anyway, I also would like to announce, that, as of this moment, the, uh, website is down. I have closed the account associated with it. I may come back with a new webs--with another website and new st--and new comics and stuff; I may not.
But, to my loyal fans, I thank you for your full--for your support and appreciate your efforts, but, so what, what y'all can do now is, like, y'know, find, go to your normal lives, uh... Live free. OR, if you want some, if you have nothing to do, you can track down the trolls for me, dis--including that Clyde Cash. Down with those slanderous trolls. I GIVE THEM NO MORE FOOD TO FEED OFF OF!
[Chris stares the camera down for several seconds ]
[cut]
I'm straight. And I will only accept personal--person-to-person encounters. No e-mails, no phone calls. Unless you calling on my hh-home phone, and talk to my father... [facial spasms and/or mini-stroke] And you gotta be living in Virginia, layyydieees. 18-27. Smoke free. Caring, true, honest. Not black. And the trolls, just, stay away, period. Y'all have a good day now. Peace! [cut] Oh, and also, before I forget. I wi--until the day I put up the website again, if I should decide to, or not. I wi-I will not be putting up an-too many new videos either. So, any videos that are obviously, uh, falsified with my face that might say otherwise... Do not believe them. Only, uh, I will let you know obviously when the website is back up. You'll know it is true.
[camera cuts to a Blair Witch Project-like shot of the Sonichu medallion, hanging off the ceiling]
Mee-till then... See ya on the campus!
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