Difference between revisions of "Chris and nutrition"

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{{Needs Updating|[[November 2023 social media posts#Weight]]}}
{{HealthDisclosure}}
{{HealthDisclosure}}
{{Honest}}
{{Honest}}


[[File:ChrisMadeANaco.jpg|thumb|A soft shell taco topped with tortilla chips. Straight out of ''Kim Possible''.]]
[[File:ChrisMadeANaco.jpg|thumb|A soft shell taco topped with tortilla chips. Straight out of ''Kim Possible''.]]
Food is both a [[sex|biological imperative]] and a [[art|cultural medium]] for humans. The human body is meant to run on a wide variety of foodstuffs for a balanced diet, and cultures around the world have created a multitude of dishes using available ingredients, mostly from animal and plant sources. But more recently, food has become industrialized, and this industrial process makes food cheaper and tastier, to the love of our hero [[Chris]]. Unfortunately, this industrial Western diet doesn't always carry the best '''nutrition'''.  
Food is both a [[sex|biological imperative]] and a [[art|cultural medium]] for humans. The human body is meant to run on a wide variety of foodstuffs for a balanced diet, and cultures around the world have created a multitude of dishes using available ingredients, mostly from animal and plant sources. More recently, however, food has become industrialized, which makes food cheaper and tastier, to the love of our hero, [[Chris]]. Unfortunately, this industrial Western diet doesn't always carry the best '''nutrition'''.  


==Cooking abilities==
==Cooking abilities==
 
{{Dated|Events after house fire}}
Chris claims that he cooks for himself 4 or 5 days a week,<ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble #6]]</ref> making his cooking a major source of his nutrition. He has said that he took Home Ec. classes in school and that he owns cookbooks.<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref> However, when Jackie asked him to cook spaghetti (an incredibly basic dish, mind you) in a YouTube video, he dodged responsibility by claiming that [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] had blocked the kitchen up with junk, so he instead mimed the act and microwaved some canned spaghetti and meatballs.<ref>[[SpaghettiRoutine]]</ref> It can be deduced from this that Chris can't or doesn't cook, and simply buys microwaveable meals every time he claims to be eating at home.  
Chris claims that he cooks for himself 4 or 5 days a week,<ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble #6]]</ref> making his cooking a major source of his nutrition. He has said that he took Home Ec. classes in school and that he owns cookbooks.<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref> However, when Jackie asked him to cook spaghetti (an incredibly basic dish, mind you) in a YouTube video, he dodged responsibility by claiming that [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] had blocked the kitchen up with junk, so he instead mimed the act and microwaved some canned spaghetti and meatballs.<ref>[[SpaghettiRoutine]]</ref> It can be deduced from this that Chris can't or doesn't cook, and simply buys microwaveable meals every time he claims to be eating at home.  


In a letter written to Kelly Sheridan that was posted to Twitter, Chris claimed to have taken up basic cooking skills as a way to keep his mind more active.
In a [[August 2017]] letter written to [[Kelly Sheridan]], Chris claimed to have taken up basic cooking skills as a way to keep his mind more active.<ref>[[Chris's letter to Kelly Sheridan‎‎]]</ref>


In addition, [[Barb]] no longer cooks for Chris after he and [[Bob]] had turned down a spaghetti meal she had offered them<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref>, a turn-down he claimed to have "deeply apologized" for, making it even less likely that Chris eats anything that requires to be cooked, let alone anything that requires time and preparation to be made.
In addition, [[Barb]] stopped cooking for Chris after he and [[Bob]] had turned down a spaghetti meal she had offered them<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref>, a turn-down he claimed to have "deeply apologized" for, making it even less likely that Chris eats anything that requires to be cooked, let alone anything that requires time and preparation to be made.


==Fast Food==
==Fast Food==
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As a result of his minimal cooking skills, and due to how even the simplest of tasks [[Chris and work|tire him out]], Chris often prefers to eat out over making food by himself. He is an infamous fast food lover, eating at either [[McDonald's]], [[Burger King]] or some other fast food restaurant at least once a day. He has been known to dine out up to 4 times a day. The fact that he's merely fat and not morbidly obese with such an awe-inspiring calorific intake and inactive lifestyle suggests a fairly high metabolism, one which will almost certainly not last indefinitely. The frequency of his fast food trips was confirmed in 2015 when a [[Kiwi Farms]] user sent him $500 to see what he would do with it.
As a result of his minimal cooking skills, and due to how even the simplest of tasks [[Chris and work|tire him out]], Chris often prefers to eat out over making food by himself. He is an infamous fast food lover, eating at either [[McDonald's]], [[Burger King]] or some other fast food restaurant at least once a day. He has been known to dine out up to 4 times a day. The fact that he's merely fat and not morbidly obese with such an awe-inspiring calorific intake and inactive lifestyle suggests a fairly high metabolism, one which will almost certainly not last indefinitely. The frequency of his fast food trips was confirmed in 2015 when a [[Kiwi Farms]] user sent him $500 to see what he would do with it.
===Some places where Chris likes to eat===
* [[McDonald's]]
* [[Burger King]]
* [[List of restaurants|Restaurants]]
* [[:File:Kroger sighting.jpg|Grocery stores]]
* [[Kitchen]]
* [[Bedroom]]


==Consumption of food==
==Consumption of food==


[[File:Sonic rainboom $500 1.png|thumb|left|200px|Chris visited McDonald's 10 times in 13 days. It's not even the only fast-food place on the list.]]
[[File:Sonic rainboom $500 1.png|thumb|left|200px|Chris eats at multiple fast food restaurants, visiting McDonald's 10 times in 13 days, eating at other chains as well in the same documented period.]]
[[File:Hypnosis for fatter ass.png|thumb|200px|Chris wants to use subliminal hypnosis to make his belly slimmer but his ass fatter.]]
[[File:Hypnosis for fatter ass.png|thumb|200px|Chris wants to use subliminal hypnosis to make his belly slimmer but his ass fatter.]]
[[File:Recycle.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Chris tends to drink large amounts of soft drinks daily. Occasionally, he mixes them with [[Semen|a special ingredient]].]]


Many, many times, Chris has been shown to be a glutton for all kinds of food, eating excessively in public places and during parties. His complexion also gives insight into his daily nutrition, often showing various signs of acne and acne scarring. His most probable nutritional intake is as follows:
Many, many times, Chris has been shown to be a glutton for all kinds of food, eating excessively in public places and during parties. His complexion also gives insight into his daily nutrition, often showing various signs of acne and acne scarring.
 
* '''Breakfast:''' Often nothing because he usually [[Biological clock|sleeps from 6 a.m. to noon]], but when he doesn't do that, he travels to McDonald's or another fast food restaurant with a breakfast menu.
* '''Lunch:''' Something quick at home or fast food.
* '''Dinner:''' Dine out at a fast food place with family, or have a poorly-cooked microwave meal.


According to Chris, he eats more vegetables than any other food group.<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref> The veracity of this statement is dubious, given what is known about Chris's medical history and health in general (as well as his tendency to lie).
According to Chris, he eats more vegetables than any other food group.<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref> The veracity of this statement is dubious, given what is known about Chris's medical history and health in general (as well as his tendency to lie).
Line 42: Line 33:
During the [[Father Call]], Chris told [[Kacey]]'s father that he was prescribed [[Wikipedia:Atorvastatin|Lipitor]] for his high cholesterol. He claimed he stopped taking the drug in fall 2009, but whether he was being honest (especially given the number of obvious [[List of Chris's lies|lies]] he told about his health in the course of the rest of the call) is uncertain.
During the [[Father Call]], Chris told [[Kacey]]'s father that he was prescribed [[Wikipedia:Atorvastatin|Lipitor]] for his high cholesterol. He claimed he stopped taking the drug in fall 2009, but whether he was being honest (especially given the number of obvious [[List of Chris's lies|lies]] he told about his health in the course of the rest of the call) is uncertain.


When Chris admits to going to McDonald's regularly for his meals (including the time in the father call) he will often fall back on another lie that he only eats the salads provided and drink the lemonade. Which is ironic since when Macdonald's salads were still around they were actually proven to contain ''more'' calories than an average Big mac meal (due to the sauce that came with them); Chris also seems to be under the impression that lemonade is healthy because it has (or at least tastes vaguely like) lemons despite them being just as unhealthy as any other type of soda.
When Chris admits to going to McDonald's regularly for his meals (including the time in the father call) he will often fall back on another lie that he only eats the salads provided and drink the lemonade. This is ironic as McDonald's salads were actually proven to contain ''more'' calories than an average Big Mac meal, due to the sauce that came with them. Chris also seems to be under the impression that lemonade is healthy because it has (or at least tastes vaguely like) lemons despite them being just as unhealthy as any other type of soda.


In 2016, he began listening to [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] videos under the false believe that they would improve his health. He liked videos such as "Lose Weight Super Fast!", "Eliminate Armpit Odor Permanently Fast!", "Lower Your Blood Pressure Fast! Hypertension Treatment", and "[[Fart Song|Produce Odorless Farts Fast!]]". There is no sort of scientific and medical evidence that proves listening to binaural beats can do these things – the only real health effect is hearing loss if listened to at a high volume, and maybe a headache.
In 2016, he began listening to [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] videos under the false believe that they would improve his health. He liked videos such as "Lose Weight Super Fast!", "Eliminate Armpit Odor Permanently Fast!", "Lower Your Blood Pressure Fast! Hypertension Treatment", and "[[Fart Song|Produce Odorless Farts Fast!]]". There is no sort of scientific and medical evidence that proves listening to binaural beats can do these things – the only real health effect is hearing loss if listened to at a high volume, and maybe a headache.
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In 2020, Chris claimed to make breakfast omelettes/scrambled eggs with ghost pepper sauce or spinach.<ref>[[December 2020 social media posts]]</ref>
In 2020, Chris claimed to make breakfast omelettes/scrambled eggs with ghost pepper sauce or spinach.<ref>[[December 2020 social media posts]]</ref>


{{clear}}
In October 2023, Chris posted photos of his snack bowl, consisting of fruits, a large chunk of dark chocolate, and a liberal amount of what appears to be whipped topping. Chris touted the vitamin benefits of the fruits among the snacks, but unfortunately for him, the nutritional benefit is outweighed by the excessive amount of sugars contained in the bowl.<ref>[[October 2023 social media posts#Chocolate and fruits]]</ref>


==Jail food==
==Jail food==
Now that [[Jail Saga|Chris has been in jail for quite a while]], it's safe to assume he has broken his long standing policy of [[28 October 2011|not eating prison food]] and has entered the regular diet alongside all other inmates. Ironically, this is quite the improvement to his regular dietary habits, as prison meals are provided in equal quantities per inmate and no amount of entitlement will help you get a second serving. Pretty much the only way Chris can overeat is either by buying the food separately via commissary money or donations. Chris has stated that he likes the selection of food items the jail has for sale, meaning that most of the commissary money that he does get will most likely be spent on junk food.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 25 October 2021 (Virginia fan)]]</ref>
Since the [[Jail Saga]] saw Chris incarcerated for quite a while, it's safe to assume he broke his long standing policy of [[28 October 2011|not eating prison food]] and entered the regular diet alongside all the other jail inmates. Chris stated that he liked the selection of food items the jail had for sale.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 25 October 2021 (Virginia fan)]]</ref>


The quality of said prison meals, on the other hand, is debatable; prisons in America can have anything from barely edible slop crawling with parasites, to extremely nutritious meals that come in great variety and flavors. In any case, it's probably safe to say that even if Central Virginia Regional Jail is sitting in the latter category, the meals provided will be far healthier than [[McDonald's|what Chris is used to eating]]. In an [[October 2021]] letter, Chris discussed the quality of the meals by writing that the "Food's mostly good and well; not perfect meatballs (Banquet Dinners have better meatballs), and chicken is often dry."<ref>[[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021]]</ref>
In an [[October 2021]] letter, Chris discussed the quality of the meals by writing that the "Food's mostly good and well; not perfect meatballs (Banquet Dinners have better meatballs), and chicken is often dry."<ref>[[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021]]</ref>


As of 3 [[May 2022]] following his three month stay at [[Western State Hospital]] his weight has noticeably fallen significantly since he was unable to exploit the "begging for junk food money" loophole he once had access to; time will tell if he manages to earn enough donations to regain the weight.
As of 3 [[May 2022]] (following his three month stay at [[Western State Hospital]]), his weight noticeably dropped since he was unable to exploit the "begging for junk food money" loophole he once had access to, and his final mugshot taken upon his release on 27 [[March 2023]] showed him having shed even more pounds. After exiting incarceration, Chris has regained all of his lost weight, especially underneath his neck.


==Hydration and water consumption==
==Hydration and water consumption==
[[File:Recycle.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Chris tends to drink large amounts of soft drinks daily. Occasionally, he mixes them with [[Navy|a special ingredient]].]]
[[File:Water and Dasani.jpeg|150px|thumb|Chris's water bottle and a Dasani bottle.]]
[[File:Water and Dasani.jpeg|150px|thumb|Chris's water bottle with a Dasani bottle]]
[[File:Anti corona device.jpg|200px|thumb|What Chris actually believes manifests his "powers" in our world.]]
[[File:Anti corona device.jpg|200px|thumb|What Chris actually believes manifests his "powers" in our world.]]


Before 2020, Chris rarely drank water and focused a lot more on [[CWC Cola|carbonated]] [[My Coke Rewards|drinks]] and energy drinks (which have been proven to [[Chris and anger|increase erratic behavior]]).<ref>[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4772143]</ref> This was such that an entire page of the CWCki was [[My Coke Rewards|partly dedicated to just how much Coca-Cola he drank over the span of two years]].  
Before 2020, Chris rarely drank water and focused a lot more on [[CWC Cola|carbonated]] [[My Coke Rewards|drinks]] and energy drinks (which have been proven to [[Chris and anger|increase erratic behavior]]).<ref>[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4772143]</ref> This was such that an entire page of the CWCki is [[My Coke Rewards|partly dedicated to just how much Coca-Cola he drank over the span of two years]].  


Said article revealed that on many of the days between 6 March 2007 and 4 September 2009, Chris drank about 1.8 liters (over 3 pints) of Coke ''every day'' (assuming that none of it was drunk by his equally [[obese]] [[Borb|parents]]), so he could gain points on My Coke Rewards. This represents a grotesque 195 grams (nearly 7 ounces) of sugar per day from Coke alone, representing almost ''800'' calories (1/3 of his daily calorie intake). To put that in perspective, Chris drank enough Coke to fill ''10 oil barrels'' in order to get the amount of points he got. [[30 Push-Ups|Needless to say]], the effects are staggering. On record, he apparently consumed a whopping 120 cans of cola on 9 April 2008, 24 March 2009, and 15 August 2009; how this didn't send him into immediate diabetic shock is anybody's guess.
On many of the days between 6 March 2007 and 4 September 2009, Chris drank about 1.8 liters (over 3 pints) of Coke ''every day'' (assuming that none of it was drunk by his equally [[obese]] [[Borb|parents]]), so he could gain points on My Coke Rewards. This represents a grotesque 195 grams (nearly 7 ounces) of sugar per day from Coke alone, representing almost ''800'' calories (1/3 of his daily calorie intake). To put that in perspective, Chris drank enough Coke to fill ''10 oil barrels'' in order to get the amount of points he got. [[30 Push-Ups|Needless to say]], the effects are staggering. On record, he apparently consumed a whopping 120 cans of cola on 9 April 2008, 24 March 2009, and 15 August 2009; how this didn't send him into immediate diabetic shock is anybody's guess.


Now, Chris drinks tons of water from a Glacee water bottle with [[Magic Stones|amethyst crystal]] on the bottom. He believes that there are many health problems that drinking water in this fashion alone can cure. He believes that doing so cures conditions such as food poisoning. While this is not actually true, it's at least far healthier than drinking tons of soft drinks. Ever since the discovery of himself being Goddess CPU Blue Heart, he has used this bottle constantly as a way to charge up his "powers", in order to help further the merge into its future stages. The reason he went with the amethyst crystal is most likely the same reason that he uses his [[Amnyfest Ring]] in the comics as his main source of power. So, therefore, Chris now uses this bottle as a way to inadvertently makes his powers stronger.
Before his arrest in [[July 2021]], Chris drank tons of water from a Glacee water bottle with an [[Magic stones|amethyst crystal]] inside. He believes that there are many health problems that drinking water in this fashion alone can cure, such as food poisoning. While this is not actually true, it's at least far healthier than drinking tons of soft drinks. Ever since the discovery of himself being Goddess CPU Blue Heart, he had used this bottle constantly as a way to charge up his "powers", in order to help further the merge into its future stages. The reason he went with the amethyst crystal is most likely the same reason that he uses his [[Amnyfest Ring]] in the comics as his main source of power. So, therefore, Chris used this bottle as a way to inadvertently makes his powers stronger.
 
As of 2023, Chris has developed an interest in the popular energy drink G Fuel, likely because the brand is known to constantly release flavors in partnership with various gaming/media franchises, an unsurprising example being that [[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Walmart (July)|he was seen looking at]] [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]-themed G Fuel cans [[Post-jail sightings|during a post-jail release shopping trip]]. Given the canned drink has an average of 300 mg of caffeine (equivalent to about 3 cups of coffee), it's likely Chris may soon slip back into erratic behavior patterns.


==Results of Chris's Diet==
==Results of Chris's Diet==
{{Main|Chris and health}}
{{Main|Chris and health}}
===Obesity===
===Obesity===
{{Main|Obesity}}
{{Main|Obesity}}
[[File:Fat chris.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Chris showing off his gut in [[October 2017]], as an attempt to make [[Jessica Quinn]] regret breaking up with him.]]
[[File:Fat chris.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Chris showing off his gut in [[October 2017]], as an attempt to make [[Jessica Quinn]] regret breaking up with him. It didn't work.]]


Chris has been overweight for all or nearly all of his adult life, and obese for a large portion of it.
Chris has been overweight for all or nearly all of his adult life, and obese for a large portion of it.


===Dental Hygiene===
===Dental hygiene===


Chris's [[Fangs| teeth]] have obviously suffered greatly during the decades of constant sugary abuse. Several videos which he exposes his teeth have revealed that his molars are extremely rotten and full of cavities while his frontal teeth are yellowish at best and an olive colour at worst. This combined with his infamous lack of hygienic prowess means that it's flat out a miracle that all his teeth haven't fallen out at this point.
Chris's [[Fangs|teeth]] have obviously suffered greatly during the decades of constant sugary abuse. Several videos which he exposes his teeth have revealed that his molars are extremely rotten and full of cavities while his frontal teeth are yellowish at best and an olive colour at worst. This combined with his infamous lack of hygienic prowess means that it's flat out a miracle that all his teeth haven't fallen out at this point.


===Behavioral Issues===  
===Behavioral issues===  


Caffeine is a well known [[Anger|stimulant]] and can impair ones ability to [[Biological Clock|sleep]]. Chris's drinks all have an amount of caffeine in them, from coffee to [[Coca-Cola]]. Chris is undoubtedly addicted to both, and cups of coffee were spotted throughout the hallway in [[14 Branchland Court]] just before the coffee ''maker'' [[2014 house fire|burned the entire house down]].
Caffeine is a well known [[Anger|stimulant]] and can impair ones ability to [[Biological Clock|sleep]]. Chris's drinks all have plenty of caffeine in them, from coffee to [[Coca-Cola]]. Chris is undoubtedly addicted to both, and cups of coffee were spotted throughout the hallway in [[14 Branchland Court]] just before the coffee ''maker'' [[2014 house fire|burned the entire house down]].


===Fecal Incontinence===
===Fecal incontinence===
{{Main|DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS}}
{{Main|DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS}}


It is believed that Chris's diet is one of the causes for his fecal incontinence (the other one being [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|ramming stuff in his rectum]]), as chronic constipation can be one cause of fecal incontinence.<ref>{{w|Fecal incontinence#Constipation|Fecal incontinence on Wikipedia.}}</ref> Chris's diet of McDonald's, microwaveable food, and little or no fruit or vegetables is very likely ridiculously low on fiber and thus a sure-fire way of causing constipation, and Chris has been going on with this diet for who knows how long. Irritable bowel syndrome may be another reason for Chris's problems with controlling his bowels. The cause of IBS is not known, but two major triggers are [[stress]] and poor diets, with wheat, dairy, and carbonated drinks being known IBS triggers.<ref>Mayo Clinic: [https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/irritable-bowel-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20360016 Irritable bowel syndrome]</ref> Chris has given testament to fast-food not agreeing with him,<ref>[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Whopperrito]]</ref> However, being raised on a poor diet, it's unlikely he'll stop eating junk anytime soon.
It is believed that Chris's diet is one of the causes for his fecal incontinence (the other one being [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|ramming stuff in his rectum]]), as chronic constipation can be one cause of fecal incontinence.<ref>{{w|Fecal incontinence#Constipation|Fecal incontinence on Wikipedia.}}</ref> Chris's diet of McDonald's, microwaveable food, and little or no fruit or vegetables is very likely ridiculously low on fiber and thus a sure-fire way of causing constipation, and Chris has been going on with this diet for who knows how long. Irritable bowel syndrome may be another reason for Chris's problems with controlling his bowels. The cause of IBS is not known, but two major triggers are [[stress]] and poor diets, with wheat, dairy, and carbonated drinks being known IBS triggers.<ref>Mayo Clinic: [https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/irritable-bowel-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20360016 Irritable bowel syndrome]</ref> Chris has given testament to fast-food not agreeing with him.<ref>[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Whopperito]]</ref> However, being raised on a poor diet, it's unlikely he'll stop eating junk anytime soon.


{{clear}}
{{clear}}
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==Denial of poor diet==
==Denial of poor diet==


Chris often denies his diet is doing more harm to him than good. In the [[Father Call]], Chris constantly lies about his poor eating habits to an unimpressed Matthew Devoria. At one point, he went off on a tangent about how he stuffed vegetables and fruits down his throat; this was after Matt metaphorically compared [[Kacey|his daughter]]'s book reading to how much candy Chris probably consumes.
Chris often denies his diet is doing more harm to him than good. In the [[Father Call]], Chris constantly lies about his poor eating habits to an unimpressed Matthew Devoria. At one point, [[Autism|he went off on a tangent]] about how he stuffed vegetables and fruits down his throat; this was after Matt metaphorically compared [[Kacey|his daughter]]'s book reading to how much candy Chris probably consumes.


==References==
==References==

Latest revision as of 00:50, 3 December 2024

485-CWCsF.JPG Chris's recent failings have helped CWCki gather more information for this article.
Be a winner by adding this information in.

This new information can be found from the following sources:
November 2023 social media posts#Weight

Heart100.jpg Health disclosure: This article contains in-depth discussion of Chris's physical and/or mental health. This page is not to be construed as a substitute for medical advice or a professional diagnosis. All diagnoses are either taken from outside documentation or based on amateur analysis.
HonestContent.jpg
This article is rated M for Honest Content

It may contain content deemed not safe for work. Reader discretion is advised.
A soft shell taco topped with tortilla chips. Straight out of Kim Possible.

Food is both a biological imperative and a cultural medium for humans. The human body is meant to run on a wide variety of foodstuffs for a balanced diet, and cultures around the world have created a multitude of dishes using available ingredients, mostly from animal and plant sources. More recently, however, food has become industrialized, which makes food cheaper and tastier, to the love of our hero, Chris. Unfortunately, this industrial Western diet doesn't always carry the best nutrition.

Cooking abilities

July11BarbPhoto2.jpg
This article is out of date.

We need information on Events after house fire.
We suggest you keep up with the times.

Chris claims that he cooks for himself 4 or 5 days a week,[1] making his cooking a major source of his nutrition. He has said that he took Home Ec. classes in school and that he owns cookbooks.[2] However, when Jackie asked him to cook spaghetti (an incredibly basic dish, mind you) in a YouTube video, he dodged responsibility by claiming that Barbara had blocked the kitchen up with junk, so he instead mimed the act and microwaved some canned spaghetti and meatballs.[3] It can be deduced from this that Chris can't or doesn't cook, and simply buys microwaveable meals every time he claims to be eating at home.

In a August 2017 letter written to Kelly Sheridan, Chris claimed to have taken up basic cooking skills as a way to keep his mind more active.[4]

In addition, Barb stopped cooking for Chris after he and Bob had turned down a spaghetti meal she had offered them[5], a turn-down he claimed to have "deeply apologized" for, making it even less likely that Chris eats anything that requires to be cooked, let alone anything that requires time and preparation to be made.

Fast Food

Main article: List of restaurants

As a result of his minimal cooking skills, and due to how even the simplest of tasks tire him out, Chris often prefers to eat out over making food by himself. He is an infamous fast food lover, eating at either McDonald's, Burger King or some other fast food restaurant at least once a day. He has been known to dine out up to 4 times a day. The fact that he's merely fat and not morbidly obese with such an awe-inspiring calorific intake and inactive lifestyle suggests a fairly high metabolism, one which will almost certainly not last indefinitely. The frequency of his fast food trips was confirmed in 2015 when a Kiwi Farms user sent him $500 to see what he would do with it.

Consumption of food

Chris eats at multiple fast food restaurants, visiting McDonald's 10 times in 13 days, eating at other chains as well in the same documented period.
Chris wants to use subliminal hypnosis to make his belly slimmer but his ass fatter.
Chris tends to drink large amounts of soft drinks daily. Occasionally, he mixes them with a special ingredient.

Many, many times, Chris has been shown to be a glutton for all kinds of food, eating excessively in public places and during parties. His complexion also gives insight into his daily nutrition, often showing various signs of acne and acne scarring.

According to Chris, he eats more vegetables than any other food group.[6] The veracity of this statement is dubious, given what is known about Chris's medical history and health in general (as well as his tendency to lie).

During the Father Call, Chris told Kacey's father that he was prescribed Lipitor for his high cholesterol. He claimed he stopped taking the drug in fall 2009, but whether he was being honest (especially given the number of obvious lies he told about his health in the course of the rest of the call) is uncertain.

When Chris admits to going to McDonald's regularly for his meals (including the time in the father call) he will often fall back on another lie that he only eats the salads provided and drink the lemonade. This is ironic as McDonald's salads were actually proven to contain more calories than an average Big Mac meal, due to the sauce that came with them. Chris also seems to be under the impression that lemonade is healthy because it has (or at least tastes vaguely like) lemons despite them being just as unhealthy as any other type of soda.

In 2016, he began listening to Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis videos under the false believe that they would improve his health. He liked videos such as "Lose Weight Super Fast!", "Eliminate Armpit Odor Permanently Fast!", "Lower Your Blood Pressure Fast! Hypertension Treatment", and "Produce Odorless Farts Fast!". There is no sort of scientific and medical evidence that proves listening to binaural beats can do these things – the only real health effect is hearing loss if listened to at a high volume, and maybe a headache.

In 2017, Chris had a brief online relationship with Jessica Quinn, who has a fat fetish and influenced Chris with it. The Sonichu comic features an obese Rosechu in issue 12. After their breakup, Chris consumed a large bowl of ice cream, then took a side photo of his gut, saying, "THIS!!! Right Here was ALLLLL HERS!!!!!!"[7] This marks one of the only times that Chris has admitted that he has Obesity issues.

In 2019, Chris showed us his idea of a "salad", mostly made with unhealthy ingredients like bacon bits and croutons.[8]

In 2020, Chris claimed to make breakfast omelettes/scrambled eggs with ghost pepper sauce or spinach.[9]

In October 2023, Chris posted photos of his snack bowl, consisting of fruits, a large chunk of dark chocolate, and a liberal amount of what appears to be whipped topping. Chris touted the vitamin benefits of the fruits among the snacks, but unfortunately for him, the nutritional benefit is outweighed by the excessive amount of sugars contained in the bowl.[10]

Jail food

Since the Jail Saga saw Chris incarcerated for quite a while, it's safe to assume he broke his long standing policy of not eating prison food and entered the regular diet alongside all the other jail inmates. Chris stated that he liked the selection of food items the jail had for sale.[11]

In an October 2021 letter, Chris discussed the quality of the meals by writing that the "Food's mostly good and well; not perfect meatballs (Banquet Dinners have better meatballs), and chicken is often dry."[12]

As of 3 May 2022 (following his three month stay at Western State Hospital), his weight noticeably dropped since he was unable to exploit the "begging for junk food money" loophole he once had access to, and his final mugshot taken upon his release on 27 March 2023 showed him having shed even more pounds. After exiting incarceration, Chris has regained all of his lost weight, especially underneath his neck.

Hydration and water consumption

Chris's water bottle and a Dasani bottle.
What Chris actually believes manifests his "powers" in our world.

Before 2020, Chris rarely drank water and focused a lot more on carbonated drinks and energy drinks (which have been proven to increase erratic behavior).[13] This was such that an entire page of the CWCki is partly dedicated to just how much Coca-Cola he drank over the span of two years.

On many of the days between 6 March 2007 and 4 September 2009, Chris drank about 1.8 liters (over 3 pints) of Coke every day (assuming that none of it was drunk by his equally obese parents), so he could gain points on My Coke Rewards. This represents a grotesque 195 grams (nearly 7 ounces) of sugar per day from Coke alone, representing almost 800 calories (1/3 of his daily calorie intake). To put that in perspective, Chris drank enough Coke to fill 10 oil barrels in order to get the amount of points he got. Needless to say, the effects are staggering. On record, he apparently consumed a whopping 120 cans of cola on 9 April 2008, 24 March 2009, and 15 August 2009; how this didn't send him into immediate diabetic shock is anybody's guess.

Before his arrest in July 2021, Chris drank tons of water from a Glacee water bottle with an amethyst crystal inside. He believes that there are many health problems that drinking water in this fashion alone can cure, such as food poisoning. While this is not actually true, it's at least far healthier than drinking tons of soft drinks. Ever since the discovery of himself being Goddess CPU Blue Heart, he had used this bottle constantly as a way to charge up his "powers", in order to help further the merge into its future stages. The reason he went with the amethyst crystal is most likely the same reason that he uses his Amnyfest Ring in the comics as his main source of power. So, therefore, Chris used this bottle as a way to inadvertently makes his powers stronger.

As of 2023, Chris has developed an interest in the popular energy drink G Fuel, likely because the brand is known to constantly release flavors in partnership with various gaming/media franchises, an unsurprising example being that he was seen looking at Sonic the Hedgehog-themed G Fuel cans during a post-jail release shopping trip. Given the canned drink has an average of 300 mg of caffeine (equivalent to about 3 cups of coffee), it's likely Chris may soon slip back into erratic behavior patterns.

Results of Chris's Diet

Main article: Chris and health

Obesity

Main article: Obesity
Chris showing off his gut in October 2017, as an attempt to make Jessica Quinn regret breaking up with him. It didn't work.

Chris has been overweight for all or nearly all of his adult life, and obese for a large portion of it.

Dental hygiene

Chris's teeth have obviously suffered greatly during the decades of constant sugary abuse. Several videos which he exposes his teeth have revealed that his molars are extremely rotten and full of cavities while his frontal teeth are yellowish at best and an olive colour at worst. This combined with his infamous lack of hygienic prowess means that it's flat out a miracle that all his teeth haven't fallen out at this point.

Behavioral issues

Caffeine is a well known stimulant and can impair ones ability to sleep. Chris's drinks all have plenty of caffeine in them, from coffee to Coca-Cola. Chris is undoubtedly addicted to both, and cups of coffee were spotted throughout the hallway in 14 Branchland Court just before the coffee maker burned the entire house down.

Fecal incontinence

Main article: DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS

It is believed that Chris's diet is one of the causes for his fecal incontinence (the other one being ramming stuff in his rectum), as chronic constipation can be one cause of fecal incontinence.[14] Chris's diet of McDonald's, microwaveable food, and little or no fruit or vegetables is very likely ridiculously low on fiber and thus a sure-fire way of causing constipation, and Chris has been going on with this diet for who knows how long. Irritable bowel syndrome may be another reason for Chris's problems with controlling his bowels. The cause of IBS is not known, but two major triggers are stress and poor diets, with wheat, dairy, and carbonated drinks being known IBS triggers.[15] Chris has given testament to fast-food not agreeing with him.[16] However, being raised on a poor diet, it's unlikely he'll stop eating junk anytime soon.

Denial of poor diet

Chris often denies his diet is doing more harm to him than good. In the Father Call, Chris constantly lies about his poor eating habits to an unimpressed Matthew Devoria. At one point, he went off on a tangent about how he stuffed vegetables and fruits down his throat; this was after Matt metaphorically compared his daughter's book reading to how much candy Chris probably consumes.

References

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