CWCville
| “ | I'm still the mayor of CWCville. There is no elections. | ” |
| Chris-chan Discusses... | ||
CWCville (pronounced: [kwɪkvɪɫ], "quick-ville") is Chris's imaginary world, created from a combination of his twisted views on the world and pop-culture to work as a place where all his wishes, ideas, and deranged fantasies become true.
| CWCville | |
|---|---|
| Flag (Ceremonial) | 
|
| Flag (National) | The national flag of CWCville. |
| Location | Virginia, USA |
| Coordinates | Unknown, possibly the same as Charlottesville in a parallel universe, far from Molvanîa |
| Date established | Fictional: 1982 Real world: 2000 |
| Population | Unknown. Mixed population of humans, Pokémon, and ripoffs |
| Political Ideology | Chandlerian Socialism |
| ZIP code | 02024[1] |
| Website | None (formerly The CWCipedia) |
| Also known as | Chris's mind, CWCistan, The People's Democratic Republic of CWCville, The Confederate States of CWCville, Hell, etc. |
| Exports | Excessive undeveloped characters, blatant ripoffs, autistic manchildren, oppressed LGBT refugees, semen |
| Current relevance | Main location of events in the Sonichu universe |
Overview
CWCville is the setting of Sonichu, a city in Virginia of which Chris is Mayor for life. CWCville is where Chris portrays friends and enemies from his real life in scenarios altered to reflect his bias toward himself. As his ideal metropolitan community, CWCville illustrates Chris's poor understanding of how a city actually functions. Like everything else that appears in his comic, Chris believes CWCville to actually exist in a parallel universe.[2] Chris has claimed to be mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE."[3] As an entity Chris believes to be real, CWCville is a coping mechanism used to compensate for his unsatisfying actual life.
It has been argued that the unconquerable quality of Chris's ego stems from the fact that he can retreat to his own CWCville world, where he can right all wrongs done to him. In his comics, we see him defeating Mary Lee Walsh, with whom he holds an IRL grudge, beating around the jerkops, and bringing his dead dog, Patti Chandler, back to life in the form of the anthropomorphic Patti-Chan The main reason Chris can do such superhuman acts as defeating a whole army of huge Jerkops and resurrecting his dead dog is that in CWCville his will is supreme. This serves as a blanket that protects his physically and mentally weak self from the outside world in which he holds no such power.
Chris is greatly concerned by people who are misinformed about any detail of CWCville or conclude that it is anything but "a clean, secure, orderly and safe city."[4] After being coerced into declaring BILLY MAYS the new Mayor of CWCville,[5] Chris repeatedly stated that this was not true.[6][7][8] In his willingness to educate, and his confusion at negative reactions to his answers, Chris seems to think that anyone who understands what CWCville is like will love it.
The seeds of CWCville were planted early into Chris's life. At some point, Chris put all of his completed LEGO kits, original LEGO creations, and various handmade Sonichu items together on one table in his room. The first official CWCville media was made in 2001.[9] After toying with more phonetic spellings, Chris settled on "CWCville"[10] in 2003. This spelling consecutively features the initials of his full name and its pronunciation must be explained to others, indicative of CWCville's nature as a self-serving and insular fantasy.
Chris has repeatedly associated CWCville with Charlottesville, VA, likely the largest and most familiar urban environment in his life. Chris has presented footage of Charlottesville as footage of CWCville.[11] He has stated that CWCville is as important and worthy of respect as every American city that begins with "C", but mentioned only Charlottesville by name, calling it "the most important one" of these "C-Villes", as if Chicago, for example, was less important than Charlottesville.[12] CWCville is said to have an annual Dogwood Festival,[8] also an annual Charlottesville tradition. This association further illustrates Chris's narrow perception of the outside world.
However, a map in Sonichu #0 shows CWCville as being near Pallet Town and Giovanni's Gym in Viridian City, featured in the Pokémon series and located in Kanto, an area based on the Kantō region in Japan. It is also located near Station Square, found on Mobius.
Given Chris's humongous ego, it's surprising that didn't he give himself a whole country to begin with, or better yet, a whole fucking planet. He later created the land of RuleCWC, an idiotic Hyrule ripoff, but he actually let someone else rule it.
Name
One of Chris's homemade Pokémon cards featured a "Cwick City Gym," while an unfinished Game Boy Camera project dating from 2001 used the spellings "Cwicville" and "Cwickville". A sign on the door to his room reads "Christian W. Chandler's Cwickville City Gym." It is unknown why he changed the spelling. Likely the alternate spelling just didn't stimulate his massive ego as much as his unaltered initials, even if it makes a lot less sense. (Although Christown, Chandlerville etc. would have been just as good and made a lot more sense.)
Without knowing the "correct" pronunciation of the name, the fact remains that "CWCville", unlike any proper English word, begins with four consonants in a row. Using conventional phonology, the name is pretty difficult to utter, unless you're Welsh, in which case it would be pronounced "cookville". In Mailbag 43, Chris slams Evan and fails once again, spectacularly, to realize the seeds of truth buried in parodies.
Government and politics
| “ | And for your information, my City's politics are of a King/Queen thing; NO VOTING | ” |
| Chris, explaining the totalitarian state to Samantha Thaddeus. | ||
| “ | Chris-chan was the Mayor of CWCville. Chris-chan had always been the Mayor of CWCville. | ” |
| Paraphrased from CWC Update 1 July 2009 | ||
According to Sonichu #8, CWCville was founded in 1982 by Chris's father, Bob Chandler. Why he would name a city after his deadshit son is unknown. And only GodJesus knows why it wasn't called RFCville.
According to the Samantha Thaddeus e-mails, the government is a "King/Queen thing" with no elections.[13] There's a non-elected leader who does what he pleases, "advised" by an elected House of Representatives which sits at the Cwcville Trade Center Building.[14] Exactly how CWCville's government operates is unknown. Chandler is Mayor-for-life with supreme power, and has insisted that there are no elections, but he has also insisted that the vote has "even" been extended to those of African descent, but apparently not to women, as some women are seen protesting in order to gain suffrage in CWCville. Voting is strictly for the Board of Director Members[15]), which holds no authority, existing as a purely advisory committee which the Mayor is not obligated to listen to. The Mayor attempts to dissuade accusations of dictatorship, citing that dictatorships are never hereditary, whereas he inherited the town from his father (even though many dictatorships are hereditary, e.g. the Kim dynasty in North Korea, the Pahlavi dynasty in Iran and "Baby Doc" and "Papa Doc" in Haiti). It's also revealed that the name of the town was changed when it was passed from father to son, though whether or not the town was originally known as "RFCville", or something marginally less retarded is unknown, as all records of Mayor Bob's mayorship — in fact, all symbols of the old regime — have been erased (like the Roman practice of damnatio memoriae, where all records of a traitor: statues, inscriptions, etc., are erased after his death).
Chris originally planned to hand over the role of Mayor to his sister Crystal in Sonichu #10[16], but later decided not to.
On 3 March 2009, Chris announced that BILLY MAYS was the new Mayor of CWCville and that he was going to CWCville Jail to get raped by niggos. The next day, Chris revoked his edict that made MAYS the new Mayor, establishing a government-in-exile in his bedroom. Most legal scholars, however, argue that since Chris was not wearing the Medallion, which Chris has indicated is necessary for a video to be TRUE and HONEST (and any retraction otherwise would involve him wearing the medallion to make his retraction legally binding), his statements to the contrary are false and therefore not legally binding, meaning BILLY MAYS is still the Mayor of CWCville. On 28 June 2009, BILLY MAYS died in his mayoral mansion, allegedly due to a cocaine overdose, but the hand of Chandler was suspected. The city was plunged into mourning. Chris wasted no time in seizing control of CWCville, announcing during a post-coup interview that he was always the ruler, and that there would be no further elections.
The police don't take orders from the civil authorities and lock people up at random, the dean of the only college is leading a hopeless resistance and is vilified in the mayoral-controlled press. Soliciting sex is legal in CWCville, whereas possession of tobacco is a very serious offense. Alcohol was illegal until 2009, when the ban was rescinded.
Laws have been enacted to persecute homosexuals, and psychic surveillance is used to monitor sexual purity; in a predictable display of bureaucratic cluelessness, this important task has been somehow handed to an obvious closet case. This constant Orwellian surveillance, which is obviously done under the guise of "protecting" the citizens, flies completely against the basic human right to privacy. Since there is no plausible way to have any oversight over a super-powered official or question or contest his findings (and disputing the authority has been futile in general), it also effectively elevates the official above law. The Mayor has also hinted — though sensibly, he has not written it into actual law, otherwise all international observers would condemn his actions at once — that the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, a group of civilian defense contractors, have immunity from prosecution. This goes against the concept of supremacy of law that is the very foundation of modern societies; some sociologists have pointed out that this is in fact the hallmark of all police states.
CWCville has a large police force equipped with weapons and tanks, and even an entire division of the U.S. Army; all these units, as said before, are above the law. These groups appear frequently all around the city enforcing the laws, giving grim reminders of their existence to the common public every day, dragging the morale down. Any attempts at humor are prosecuted swiftly and severely under the draconian laws that are based on curious misinterpretations of international copyright laws. Dissident comedians who flee the city are hunted down and gruesomely executed (with the emphasis on "cute") by underage assassins. Despite all this perceived military and law enforcement might, the police and mercenaries demonstrably offer little real protection or competence: troublemakers like Wes Iseli ruin weddings with near impunity, and the dissident leaders remain at large until recently.
The court system is a joke. Walsh was captured, depowered and sent to a maximum security prison without a trial. The jerkops and manajerks are depowered, yet were supposedly allowed to go scot-free. However, when Simonla Rosechu was murdered by a Voltorb, four people - Evan, Alec Benson Leary, Sean and Mao are arrested and put on trial not even a week after, despite earlier receiving a public pardon from the Mayor. The judge is biased in Chris's favor, when all judges should be impartial. Sean is permitted to defend himself and his fellow co-defendants, despite being clearly under the influence of drugs. Nobody suggests appointing a public defender for the four. The prosecutor adds on to the charges, considering slander via the Asperpedia (which was destroyed by Chris) punishable by death, when it is a mild offense in most jurisdictions. Evidence gathered using Magi-Chan's psychic powers is considered admissible in court. When the four are found guilty by a clearly biased jury, they are immediately executed in cruel and inhumane ways.
The basic services are lacking: Packs of wild Pokémon roam the streets, uncontrolled. The Mayor wastes precious taxpayer money on oversize novelty drinking straws and credit cards for dogs. As of Christmas 2009, there were 10 homeless shelters set up: Chris himself claims that these ten-story "soup hotels" house an population of 900-1,800 indigents, and come equipped with free cable TV. The Mayor's personal friends, such as Sonichu, live in state-sponsored, suburban housing. He also supplied furniture for Wild Sonichu.[17]
Economy
CWCville runs under a command economy which Chris has near-total control over: the radio station and soft drink company are named after the Mayor, which indicates either nationalization of normally private businesses or rampant cronyism. The banning of goods that the Mayor disapproves of has also contributed to the city's financial troubles. Tobacco, unhealthy as it may be, is illegal to sell, possess or consume, despite the multibillion dollar value of the industry. With the banning of anything tobacco-related, CWCville loses hundreds of millions of dollars a year in tax revenues, jobs and investment.
CWCville also mints its own currency, which comes in confusing denominations - there are two coins: the C-Quarter and W-Quarter, ten C-Quarters equaling one W-Quarter, indicating that Chris has no idea what "quarter" means. The W-Quarter is round and golden in color, with a silver-colored rim and the letter "W" in red in the center, while the C-Quarter is C-shaped and blue, with a silver-colored rim. Fines are levied in U.S. dollars, for unknown reasons: perhaps to add to the foreign currency reserves of the tottering dictatorship.
Doubtless CWCville's disastrous economic policy has led the establishment of a flourishing black market, perhaps using tobacky or pickles as currency.
Flora and fauna
CWCville, like the rest of Virginia, has a temperate climate and is suitable for large-scale agriculture. Years of economic decline, however, have seen CWCville's environs diverge greatly from those of its neighboring cities. Its forests growing thicker, and its fields returning to nature, CWCville is an excellent laboratory for the avid naturalist. Pokémon roam in the forests; zapbuds fill the fields.
Zapbuds have quickly established themselves in the surrounding ecosystem. Aside from "healing woes," relatively little is known about them. They have four petals, possibly resembling buds of some sort in their normal state, and the "zap" in their name and electrical hazard symbols on their petals suggest that it might not be the brightest idea to pee in the middle of a zapbud field.
Marijuana is grown in CWCville and is used recreationally by several people but is punished by Draconian prison sentences.
See also
Sauces
- ↑ Sonichu 8 Official Videobook
- ↑ Chris and reality#Fantasy and fiction
- ↑ ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)
- ↑ Mailbag 35#Except when half of it gets destroyed by giant robots
- ↑ March 2009
- ↑ Mumble 11
- ↑ CWC Update 1 July 2009
- ↑ 8.0 8.1 Issue 9/Page 32
- ↑ The City of Cwicville Tour!
- ↑ Animal Crossing Documentary
- ↑ Rollin' and Trollin'
- ↑ Do Not Dis C Ville
- ↑ Samantha Thaddeus E-mails
- ↑ Mailbag 5
- ↑ Mailbag 37
- ↑ Miyamoto_Saga#From_Chris_to_Miyamoto
- ↑ Sonichu #9, page 21