Chris's room (14 Branchland Court)

A panoramic view of the dragon's lair.

There is no escape, YOUNG LADY.

Chris spends most of his adult life in his room. Since being kicked out of college, the mall, and the Pokémon League, and having his house burnt down and remade, he left his room regularly for McDonald's, shopping, Cville Pride, Fridays After Five, Impulse Gay Social-Club and playing Pokemon with his friends at a new card game shop, among other outings.

Old room

A rough map of Chris's room pre-house fire.

Chris's bedroom was on the second floor of his house, with 2 windows on the northwest wall. Based on Chris's video tour of his house, his cluttered room was the cleanest room in the house, which may explain why so much of his time was spent there.

Chris's room, like most bedrooms, also summed up many of his awful habits and traits:

• His incredible attachment to material possessions, as evidenced by the massive amounts of clutter.
• His incredible laziness, as evidenced by how much of said clutter was scattered haphazardly on the floor, bed and couch.
• In contrast, the careful and orderly arrangement of his video games, DVDs, trading cards, posters, and toys shows how they rank on his list of priorities against things like work, education, human relationships, or personal development.
• The Megan Shrine, the definite and unquestionable proof of Chris's obsession with the only person that has ever been friendly to him, whom he cruelly drove away.
• The prevalence of Pokémon, Sonic the Hedgehog, and other franchises aimed at children — people of the same mental and emotional age as Chris.
• The majority of his possessions are toys or video games — objects which perform predictably within his absolute control.
• He also shows extreme hoarding behavior that is commonly found in the elderly, formerly abused children and the autistic.
• The stench, not visible on video or photograph, can still be inferred from the many accounts of sweat, feces and rotten food left around. Let's put it this way: he once told Ivy that one Glade air freshener wasn't enough.
• Finally, Chris retreated to his room whenever he felt the slightest bit of stress, refused to discard his detritus, and saw it as the gateway to his fantasy world of CWCville; it is safe to assume the toys which he claims to play with for 2-3 hours a day are like a physical extension of his own imaginary world that provide a sense of safety and comfort.

In February 2009, Clyde Cash forced Chris to clean up his room a bit.

Besides Chris, only two other people have been seen venturing into the cesspool he calls his room: Bob Chandler, as exposed in a leaked video, and the Magical Man, as seen in Magical Man Potion. One animal, Kitty Chandler, was shown in Chris's room in another video.

After the blazing fires of 10 January 2014 and the brief residence-taking of the Rental House, Chris and Barb moved back into 14 Branchland Court in 2015. He moved into another room and left the old one to be used for storage.

Images

These images are arranged beginning at the northeastern wall of the room, going counter-clockwise. Not included here are photographs of the southeastern wall and east corner.

The Tomgirl Pictures, released on 29 April 2011, seemed to indicate that the Wall of Originals was either removed or gone.

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  April 2000, as Chris was moving back in from Richmond.

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  Northeastern wall, near the north corner. A sheet of his homemade Pokémon cards is here. It was previously believed that this covered a window, but the new Tomgirl Pictures have shown that this is not the case.

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  North corner

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  Northwestern wall near the north corner. The air conditioner on the left here can be seen in the upper left corner of the front of his house.

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  Northwestern wall near the west corner.

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  West corner. The bookshelf on the right is the Megan shrine.

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  Southwestern wall. The closet doors are behind the shelves of vidya. It's not clear how Chris can access the contents of the closet, assuming he ever does.

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  South corner. The door leads out of the room into the hallway. The Attraction Sign can be seen hanging on the back of the door. In Sonichu #6, the portal leading to CWCville appears where the Dance Dance Revolution mat is hanging. Take note of the Bubsy game on the shelf.

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  Great view of the Wall of Originals.

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  Three bookshelves full of games.

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  Close-ups of the Desk of Fail.

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Post-fire

Chris's old room, pictured in 2016

As of 2016, the room is used for storage. He also mentioned the room in a Facebook post from December 2016, in which he described Sorbet getting stuck in his "old bedroom" for the better part of the night.

New room

Chris, pictured in his new bedroom.

Footage of the new room, after the post-fire house renovations, first appeared in HelloLadyFans. It is located on the first floor, near the stairs that lead to the upstairs kitchen.

The Sonic Totem was stationed in this room until he sold it. Chris also kept a Christmas tree on display months after Christmas, as shown in IMG 3207, a move reminiscent of the Christmas tree that was abandoned in the Kitchen pre-fire.

Note the box of feminine hygiene pads.

Some of what "decorated" the original room for over a decade (posters, drawings, plush toys, figures, electronic devices, etc.) was lost or put elsewhere in the house. The rest was scattered onto tables in his "work room."

Work Room

Chris, begging for money in the same room he keeps his thousands of dollars worth of toys.

Chris currently keeps most of his vast collection of toys in this room. It is presumably the once-inaccessible living room seen in the house tour.

He mentioned it by name in IMG 3207, where he said that he was in his bedroom, which is separate from his "work room." By "work," he meant making products such as Amiibos and drawings for his Etsy shop. About a week after calling it the work room, Chris was banned from selling on Etsy for failing to fulfill orders.

Ironically, this is the room where he recorded himself begging for money the most during the Financhu Crisis. While begging, he kept his toys in full view behind him, demonstrating that he has no sense of self-awareness.

Most of his videos from 2015 onward were recorded in this room.

Chris's TV. Note the photo of Bob in the center. And, yes, Chris kept this TV even while he begged for food money.

He also has a large flatscreen TV, with his Nintendo, Sony, Sega and HEXBox consoles hooked up to it. His PSN shows that he keeps both the PS3 and PS4 connected, and Arthur Spatchcock has confirmed that he keeps the PS4 running constantly, and that not even being late on his electric bills was enough to get him to reduce his electric consumption. Chris has also been observed keeping his Wii U console powered on constantly without the benefit of the power-saving Standby Mode feature.

In January of 2016, Chris revealed in Announcement and update 1/12/2016 that he had acquired a new addition to the Relics of Fail. He bought a schooldesk from Goodwill for $30. Chris might have bought the desk as a fond reminder of his days at Manchester High, when he was free of adult responsibilities. Depressingly, he has filmed many videos of himself sitting at the desk and bashing action figures into each other like a child.

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  Making custom Amiibos for Etsy in January 2016. Later in the year, he was barred from selling due to failing to send orders.

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  Chris, age 34, playing with his toys.

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  In the room, facing the TV.

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  The other side of the room.

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  The room in August 2018, packed with toys.

See also

• 14 Branchland Court
• Megan Shrine
• Ruckersville, VA
• Chris's kitchen