Difference between revisions of "CWC Update 18 January 2009"

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[[Christian]] issues a scathing statement concerning hackers who used his email account to send messages to dozens of people saying Christian has [[homos|come out of the closet]].  He denies this outrageous claim and proves his heterosexuality by stomping on the [[vibrator]] he has owned for years.  He then shows a message taped to his foot featuring a crudely drawn nude female torso to hammer home his point.  Internet scientists are hard at work in determining which anime he copied this stupid idea from.
{{Quote|you should make a video telling those mean trolls you won't succumb to their awful attacks! Maybe that'll show them. You need to show them who's boss, put them in their place! You can't let them get away with this!|[[Julie]], encouraging Chris to make this video<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 2]]</ref>}}


==Watch==
"'''CWC Update 18 January 2009'''" (officially "'''CWCUpdate01182009'''") is a video in which [[Chris]] issues a scathing statement concerning hackers who used his e-mail account to send messages to dozens of people saying he's [[homos|come out of the closet]]. He denies this outrageous claim, and proves his heterosexuality by stomping on the [[vibrator]] he has owned for years. Taped to his foot is a message featuring a crudely drawn nude female torso to hammer home his point. According to Chris, it's his representation of him "stompin' on the Troll's Dicks."<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 2]]</ref> Regardless, Christorians still remain hard at work determining which [[anime]] he copied this stupid idea from.
<center>{{#ev:youtube|_q_7Tq4s2tk}}</center>


==Transcript==
There is [[Fanta|delicious]] irony in hearing Chris bellow "I'm straight, I'm straight, believe me!" while the camera shows four pink purses lined up on his wall behind him.
[''Christian is holding the camera up, at arm's length, at eye level'']


[''the opening moments are garbled and sped-up; Christian is presumably saying his standard introduction: "Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th 2009"''] Janryteenth 2009.  
==Description==
{{quotebox|I have a bit of Redneck in me, so you TROLLS just come to me in person and I will STOMP YOU OUT! I have FAMILY with Uncles, Aunts, Cousins and the rest who can BRING YOU TROLLS TO COURT.}}


This is another brief update.  For those of you that have actu--who have actually received them, um, the e-mails that possibly came from my AOL account--[[trolls|TROLL!]]--another troll has hacked into my AOL account yesterday and spammed the e-mails around. I had, uh, closed the account temporarily, and I am currently, uh, without the e-mail address.
==Video==
{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name          = CWC Update 18 January 2009
| ytid          = tSTKk-6ANxs
| stardate      = 18 [[January 2009]]
| subject        = {{Homos|text}}, {{Sex|[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|Stomping on Vibrators]]}}
| style          = {{Rage|text}}, {{Comedy|[[CWC is Sad|Unintentional Comedy]]}}
| shirt          = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| previous      = [[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san#Video|CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san]]
| next          = [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash#Video|Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash]]
}}


So therefore, uh, just t--just to re--just to let everybody in my fanbase and on the Internet know, I'm sti--I AM STRAIGHT!  I AM STRAIGHT!  And no troll--no slanderous troll is gonna alter me in such way!  I am straight.  [[homos|STRAIGHT!]]  BELIEVE ME!
{{quote|You can ''kiss my foot!'' ''And you know what else else?''}}


I have a subscription to ''[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|Playboy]]''.
=== Transcript ===


[''sniffs'']
[''The first second of the video is corrupt.''] O--lo--Janur--18, 2009.


And look into my--and look in my eyes, in my face. [''tries to make as serious an expression as possible, which involves constantly darting his eyes over to his monitor to check his appearance''] I ''can't'' be more serious than how I am right now. Those damn slanderous trolls! Damn them all to hell.
Uh, this is ''another'' brief update. For those of you that have actu--who have actually received them--um...the e-mails that possibly came from my AOL account: ''[[troll]]''--another troll has--hacked into my AOL account yesterday...and, uh, spammed the e-mails around. I had, uh, closed the account ''temporarily''...and I am currently, uh, without the e-mail address.


[''jump cut to Christian now holding the camera so that he is looking down into it over his shoulder'']
So, therefore, uh...just--just to rem--just to let everybody in my fanbase and on the internet know: I'm sti--I ''am'' straight! I am straight! ''And no troll''--''no slanderous troll'' is gonna...alter me in such way! I'm straight. Straight! ''Believe me!''


And another thing you slanderous trolls:
I have a subscription to ''[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|Playboy]]''. [''sniffles''] And look into my--and look in my ''eyes'' [''briefly glances away''], in my ''face''. I ''can't'' be more serious than how I am right now. Those damn slanderous trolls!


[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|right|For someone who says they're straight, Chris is pretty defensive about his sexuality]]
[[Death threats|Damn them all to Hell]].


[''cut to the sole of Christian's shoe'']
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|right|Chris defends his sexuality.]]


You can kiss my foot! AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE ELSE?
[''cut to Chris at a new angle''] And another thing, ya slanderous trolls:


[''Cut to Christian's [[sex toys|vibrator]], laying on the floor in front of his couch.  He stomps on it with his shoe, then grinds his foot into it, trying and failing to destroy it until it slips loose and out of the shot.  Chris turns his foot to reveal an note taped to his heel.  The note consists of  a naked woman's dismembered torso, and the message "CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER IS STRAIGHT!!"'']
[''cut to sole of Chris's shoe''] You can ''kiss my foot!'' '''''And you know what else else?!'''''


[''referring to the message''] And don't you forget it!
[''cut to a shot of his vibrator on the ground. Chris proceeds to loudly slam his foot down on top of it, and continually grinds his foot into it until it slips loose, rolling out of the picture. His foot turns to reveal a note that depicts a crude doodle of a naked woman's torso and the underlined message '''"CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER IS STRAIGHT!!"'''''] And don't you forget it! [''nearly kicks camera over by sliding heel forward for an extreme close-up, which misses the text almost entirely'']


[''cut back to Christian, now much calmer'']
[''cut back to Chris at original angle''] Uh, but, the rest of y'all, the ''true'', good citizens: ''peace'', and have a good day.


Ah, but the rest of y'all, the ''true'', good citizens: Peace, and have a good day.
==References==
<references/>
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san]]|nextlink=[[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}




{{Captain's Log}}
[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2009-01-18]]
 


[[Category: Captain's log entries| 2009-01-18]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, January 2009| 2009-01-18]]
[[Category:Videos about homos| 2009-01-18]]

Latest revision as of 22:18, 6 September 2021

“ you should make a video telling those mean trolls you won't succumb to their awful attacks! Maybe that'll show them. You need to show them who's boss, put them in their place! You can't let them get away with this! ”
Julie, encouraging Chris to make this video[1]

"CWC Update 18 January 2009" (officially "CWCUpdate01182009") is a video in which Chris issues a scathing statement concerning hackers who used his e-mail account to send messages to dozens of people saying he's come out of the closet. He denies this outrageous claim, and proves his heterosexuality by stomping on the vibrator he has owned for years. Taped to his foot is a message featuring a crudely drawn nude female torso to hammer home his point. According to Chris, it's his representation of him "stompin' on the Troll's Dicks."[2] Regardless, Christorians still remain hard at work determining which anime he copied this stupid idea from.

There is delicious irony in hearing Chris bellow "I'm straight, I'm straight, believe me!" while the camera shows four pink purses lined up on his wall behind him.

Description

I have a bit of Redneck in me, so you TROLLS just come to me in person and I will STOMP YOU OUT! I have FAMILY with Uncles, Aunts, Cousins and the rest who can BRING YOU TROLLS TO COURT.

Video

Chris-rage.gif

WARNING! This video features high levels of Tard Rage.


CWC Update 18 January 2009
Click to load content
Direct link Youtube, archive
Stardate 18 January 2009
Subject Matter HomosHomos Homos, SexSex Stomping on Vibrators
Performance Style RageRage Rage, ComedyComedy Unintentional Comedy
Shirt Classic ShirtClassic Shirt The Classic
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
previous
CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san 		next
Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash


“ You can kiss my foot! And you know what else else? ”

Transcript

[The first second of the video is corrupt.] O--lo--Janur--18, 2009.

Uh, this is another brief update. For those of you that have actu--who have actually received them--um...the e-mails that possibly came from my AOL account: troll--another troll has--hacked into my AOL account yesterday...and, uh, spammed the e-mails around. I had, uh, closed the account temporarily...and I am currently, uh, without the e-mail address.

So, therefore, uh...just--just to rem--just to let everybody in my fanbase and on the internet know: I'm sti--I am straight! I am straight! And no troll--no slanderous troll is gonna...alter me in such way! I'm straight. Straight! Believe me!

I have a subscription to Playboy. [sniffles] And look into my--and look in my eyes [briefly glances away], in my face. I can't be more serious than how I am right now. Those damn slanderous trolls!

Damn them all to Hell.

Chris defends his sexuality.

[cut to Chris at a new angle] And another thing, ya slanderous trolls:

[cut to sole of Chris's shoe] You can kiss my foot! And you know what else else?!

[cut to a shot of his vibrator on the ground. Chris proceeds to loudly slam his foot down on top of it, and continually grinds his foot into it until it slips loose, rolling out of the picture. His foot turns to reveal a note that depicts a crude doodle of a naked woman's torso and the underlined message "CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER IS STRAIGHT!!"] And don't you forget it! [nearly kicks camera over by sliding heel forward for an extreme close-up, which misses the text almost entirely]

[cut back to Chris at original angle] Uh, but, the rest of y'all, the true, good citizens: peace, and have a good day.

References

  1. ↑ BlueSpike Skype Logs 2
  2. ↑ BlueSpike Skype Logs 2
⇐ CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san Chris's videos Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash ⇒

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