Difference between revisions of "Hard Love Quest"

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'''"Hard Love Quest"''' is a poem by [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. It was written on January 18, [[2004]], and published the next month, in the second issue of [[Sonichu's News Dash]]. In addition to being incredibly self-pitying to the point where it would make an emo kid vomit, the poem also has bad spelling and grammar, improper punctuation and capitalization, and no sense of rhythm or meter. A terrible poem in every conceivable regard.
'''"Hard Love Quest"''' is a poem by [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. It was written on 18 January [[2004]] and published the next month in the second issue of ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]''. In addition to being incredibly self-pitying to the point where it would make an emo kid vomit, the poem also has [[Chris and English|bad spelling and grammar]], [[Chris and Writing|improper punctuation and capitalization]], and no sense of rhythm or meter. A terrible poem in every conceivable regard.


Note: The poem's title is presumably supposed to mean ''A Love Quest That Is Difficult'', not ''A Quest For Some 'Hard Love'''.
Note: The poem's title is presumably supposed to mean "A Love Quest Which Is Difficult", not "A Quest For Some [[Homos|Hard Love]]".


==The Poem==
==The Poem==
<center>'''[[Masturbation|Hard]] [[Love Quest]]''' <ref>Sonichu's Poetry Corner (SND #2) http://sonichuandrosechu.com/SchusNews2.htm</ref> <br>
<center>'''[[Chris and rape|Hard Love]] [[Love Quest|Quest]]'''<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville//SchusNews2.htm Sonichu's Poetry Corner (SND #2)]</ref><br>
''By. Christian W. Chandler<br>  
''By. Christian W. Chandler<br>  
January 18, 2004'' <br><br>
January 18, 2004''<br><br>
</center>
</center>


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Why do all the girls have to be already taken… a real shame,
Why do all the girls have to be already taken… a real shame,
boyfriends of all girls of possible matches for me are really LAME.
boyfriends of all girls of possible matches for me are really LAME.
As I sit and [[sigh]],
As I sit and [[stress sigh|sigh]],
I watch the girls go by.
[[Creepy stare|I watch the girls go by]].
Afraid of a lame intersecption,
Afraid of a lame intersecption,
I sit out in the open without hesitation.
I sit out in the open without hesitation.
Matching Girl descriptions are free,
Matching Girl descriptions are free,
I wish one girl would notice and approach me.
I wish one girl would notice and approach me.
It would be [[Sonic the Hedgehog|way past cool]], per-say,
It would be [[Sonic the Hedgehog|way past cool]], [[South Park|per-say]], [''sic'']
if I could get a girlfriend by Valentine’s Day.
if I could get a girlfriend by Valentine’s Day.
But for now as you see,
But for now as you see,
I am a sad and lonesome “C.”</poem>
I am a sad and lonesome “C.”</poem>
==Analysis==
Bad, but certainly not the worst of Chris's poetry.
One would expect that Chris would get progressively lazier as he wrote the poem, but Chris's drive for perfection amazes us as usual. He used a full-circle ending, repeating sad and lonesome...C from the first line. Whether this is a intentional literary technique or Chris being lazy as usual is debatable. Judging from the fact that Chris [[A Week With Christian Chandler|slept through English class]], he probably never learned any traditional poetic technique, hence this is likely just an example of Chris's amazing capacity for laziness. Chris also seems to have forgotten what the point of view is, switching from third person to first person halfway though the poem.
==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = Dramatic Reading
| ytid          = 1rN7PtUMMYg
| Stardate      = 28 [[May 2010]]
| Maker          = manwithoutabody
| Subject        =
| Video Type    =
| Other Info    = The first poem read, along with [[Valentine's Day Hymn]] and [[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]]. 
}}


==References==
==References==
Line 34: Line 52:


{{Writings}}
{{Writings}}
{{Love quest}}


[[Category:2004]]
[[Category:Love Quest]]
[[Category:Poetry]]
[[Category:Poetry]]

Latest revision as of 09:57, 21 November 2024

"Hard Love Quest" is a poem by Christian Weston Chandler. It was written on 18 January 2004 and published the next month in the second issue of Sonichu's News Dash!. In addition to being incredibly self-pitying to the point where it would make an emo kid vomit, the poem also has bad spelling and grammar, improper punctuation and capitalization, and no sense of rhythm or meter. A terrible poem in every conceivable regard.

Note: The poem's title is presumably supposed to mean "A Love Quest Which Is Difficult", not "A Quest For Some Hard Love".

The Poem

Hard Love Quest[1]

By. Christian W. Chandler
January 18, 2004

Here you see, a sad and lonesome Christian C.
Without girlfriend love he feels an older age,
as he is still “Stuck as a virgin with rage.”
He search low and high to the end,
the only delay is the fear of being already beaten by a BOYFRIEND.
Why do all the girls have to be already taken… a real shame,
boyfriends of all girls of possible matches for me are really LAME.
As I sit and sigh,
I watch the girls go by.
Afraid of a lame intersecption,
I sit out in the open without hesitation.
Matching Girl descriptions are free,
I wish one girl would notice and approach me.
It would be way past cool, per-say, [sic]
if I could get a girlfriend by Valentine’s Day.
But for now as you see,
I am a sad and lonesome “C.”

Analysis

Bad, but certainly not the worst of Chris's poetry.

One would expect that Chris would get progressively lazier as he wrote the poem, but Chris's drive for perfection amazes us as usual. He used a full-circle ending, repeating sad and lonesome...C from the first line. Whether this is a intentional literary technique or Chris being lazy as usual is debatable. Judging from the fact that Chris slept through English class, he probably never learned any traditional poetic technique, hence this is likely just an example of Chris's amazing capacity for laziness. Chris also seems to have forgotten what the point of view is, switching from third person to first person halfway though the poem.

Fan videos

Dramatic Reading
Direct link Youtube, archive
Stardate 28 May 2010
Made By manwithoutabody
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos

References

See also:

The writings of Chris-Chan

Poetry: "Valentines Day Hymn" | "For My True Love, I Would…" | "Hard Love Quest" | "I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas" | "Saddest Heart in the World" | "Song of Christian" | "Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu" | "An Inspired Poem for Jackie" | "PAIN Enduring since October 29, 2013" | "Ride or Die" | "Weston Haiku"

Prose: "How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls" | "A Week With Christian Chandler" | "My big 18th party" | "Bionic the Hedgehog" | "Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs" | Sonichu's News Dash | "Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares" | "Story of My Current Days" | "The High School Story" | "A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story" | Chris's Response to the Terrorism Attacks in Paris | Chris's letter to Cathy Weseluck | Chris's letter to Kelly Sheridan | "The Awakening of a CPU, AKA The Idea Guy Corruptions" | THE DIMENSIONAL MERGE IS HAPPENING NOW! | Sonichu Journal Pages | Whispering Spell (Restore Magic) | Dimensional Barrier Shatter Spell | SNT Vs Sonichu 2.5-Plus | Jail letters

See Also: Signature