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[[I am STRAIGHT]] (officially '''IamSTRAIGHT''' for both Part 1 and Part 2) is a series of videos in which, frustrated with accusations that he is [[homos|gay]], [[Chris]] attempts to set the record straight once and for all. His first video is literally two sentences long, warning everyone to remember his straightness. He holds up a relatively tame picture of [[Britney Spears]], apparently thinking that owning magazines with sexy photos of women in them is proof of his heterosexuality. 
[[File:ChrisFirsttime.jpg|200px|thumb|What Chris probably thought of while fantasizing about boobies and vaginas.]]


Chris immediately follows this up with a 10-minute dissertation on how he deeply loves, respects, and understands women, insisting also that he wants to have sex with them. He seems to assume that heterosexuality demands more than a superficial physical attraction to women to be credible. In his attempt to laud the qualities of women, Chris ascribes to them numerous qualities, including having superior power, agility, and coping skills than men. Also, boobies and vaginas.
"'''I am STRAIGHT'''" (officially "'''IamSTRAIGHT'''" for both videos) is a series of videos in which [[Chris]] attempts to set the record straight about his sexuality once and for all. His first video is literally two sentences long, warning everyone to remember his straightness. He holds up a relatively tame picture of [[Britney Spears]], apparently thinking that owning magazines with sexy photos of women in them is proof of his heterosexuality.


There's a passive-aggressive tone to the entire video, almost as if Chris is trying to tell some woman he wronged that he doesn't take her anger personally, because he knows she still cares about the children she'll make with her almighty uterus. Alternately, Chris may be attempting to offer an olive branch to any female trolls who have harassed him, on the slim chance that he might someday tap dat ass.
Chris follows this up with a 10-minute dissertation on how he [[Women's rights|deeply loves, respects, and understands women]], insisting also that he wants to have sex with them. He seems to assume that heterosexuality demands more than a superficial physical attraction to women to be credible. In his attempt to laud the qualities of women, Chris ascribes to them numerous qualities, including having superior power, agility, and coping skills than men. Also, [[Plush Breasts|boobies]] and [[china]]s.


While the video [[fail]]s to prove that Chris is straight, it does make a strong case for Chris being one creepy S.O.B. He frequently pauses to take a deep breath and caress an imaginary woman in front of him, rolling his head back in erotic passion. At one point, Chris holds up a copy of the August 2004 issue of ''Playboy'', yet he insists that he doesn't need it to demonstrate that he's straight. This begs the question of why he brought it up at all, unless he just likes making videos with nudie mags in them.
Chris did these videos in a failed attempt to appease [[Clyde Cash]] to have his website restored.<ref>[[Gregg_Mays_E-mails#It_is_I.2C_Jason_Kendrick_Howell.21_If_you_ever_want_to_see_your_beloved_site_restored.2C_you_must_meet_my_demands._.E2.80.94_January_12.2C_2009]]</ref>


==Part 1==
==Part 1==


<center>{{#ev:youtube|DJE11fnvEXY}}</center>
{{Infobox/video
 
| name          = I am STRAIGHT Part 1
| ytid          = mujrVXkteRg
| stardate      = 12 [[January 2009]]
| subject        = {{Homos|text}}
| style          = {{Reason|text}}
| saga          = {{Miyamoto|text}}
| shirt          = {{RedYellowStripeShirt|text}}
| previous      = [[CWC Update 8 January 2009]]
| next          = [[I_am_STRAIGHT#Part_2|I am STRAIGHT Part 2]]
}}
{{quote|I, Christian Chandler, am ''straight.''}}
{{quote|I, Christian Chandler, am ''straight.''}}


===Transcript===
=== Transcript ===
 
I, Christian Chandler, am ''straight.'' [''holds up [[Britney Spears]] poster'']
I, Christian Chandler, am ''straight.'' [''holds up [[Britney Spears]] poster'']


Line 20: Line 28:


==Part 2==
==Part 2==
===Description===
{{quotebox|ALSO, Sonichu.net is FULLY RESTORED (with a minor sacrifice of being unable to restore the [[Lego#Christian's Bionicle Site|Bionicle Site]]).}}


<center>{{#ev:youtube|Tj0TmphLDsQ}}</center>
{{Infobox/video
| name          = I am STRAIGHT Part 2
| ytid          = 4_za09_kjZA
| stardate      = 12 [[January 2009]]
| subject        = {{Homos|text}}
| style          = {{Reason|text}}
| saga          = {{Miyamoto|text}}
| shirt          = {{RedYellowStripeShirt|text}}
| previous      = [[I_am_STRAIGHT#Part_1|I am STRAIGHT Part 1]]
| next          = [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009#Video|Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009]]
}}
{{quote|''Boobies!'' ''Vaginas''. Mmm...}}


{{quote|''Boobies!'' ''Vaginas''. Mmm…}}
=== Transcript ===


===Transcript===
[[Chris and his ego|You know who I am]]. But I have randomly decided to make this video because I am sick of all the false accusations and rumors and slanders that have been going around [''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|farts]]''] on the Internet about—against me. [''inhales deeply'']


You know who I am. But I have randomly decided to make this video because I am sick of all the false accusations and rumors and slanders that have been going around on the Internet about-- against me. [''inhales deeply'']
So, I tell y—so, I tell you for sure and for true that ''I'' am ''straight''. I could te—and I can tell you why from a lifetime of stories, but I'll tell it to you in just a few short minutes.


So, I tell y-- so, I tell you for sure and for true that ''I'' am ''straight''. I could te-- and I can tell you why from a lifetime of stories, but I'll tell it to you in just a few short minutes.
Anyway… most of my friends in my life… have been ''female''. I've had only few ''male'' acquaintances. And they've definitely turned me off—the majority of them—because they are rude, crude, and inconsiderate… causing wars and such.


Anyway… most of my friends in my life… have been ''female''. I've had only few ''male'' acquaintances. And they've definitely turned me off - the majority of them - because they are rude, crude, and inconsiderate… causing wars and such.
[[Image:Women are.jpg|thumb|200px|A lesson Chris refuses to learn.]]


''But''… women are ''so'' kind and sweet. And you don't have to look at any… pict-- any-- any of 'em in bikinis or in the ''nude''… to know-- to-- to-- not s-- to fail to see the attrac-- to fail to see the ''beauty'' in each and every… wonderful woman. But inside that beauty they all have ''caring'' qualities - the majority of them. Y’know, between them and me and the majority of the world… we all just want to be understood! [''sighs''] And I understand the ladies. I understand the women.
''But''… women are ''so'' kind and sweet. And you don't have to look at any… pict—any—any of 'em in bikinis or in the ''nude''… to know—to—to—not s—to fail to see the attrac—to fail to see the ''beauty'' in each and every… wonderful woman. But inside that beauty they all have ''caring'' qualities—the majority of them. Y’know, between them and me and the majority of the world… we all just want to be understood! [''sigh''] And I understand the ladies. I understand the women.


''But''… I do not need… to cons-- to con-- to fall-- stoop down to a level of where the hormones-- where my hormones would go out of ''rage''… to appreciate… them as being my ''friends''… and my ''gal-pals''… even as-- even as well as acquaintances… because I can only have one true sweetheart.
''But''… I do not need… to cons—to con—to fall—[[ShecameforCWC.jpg|stoop down]] to a level of where the hormones—where my hormones would go out of ''rage''… to appreciate… them as being my ''friends''… and my ''gal-pals''… even as—even as well as acquaintances… because I can only have one true sweetheart.


But anyway, gettin' to-- over to the ''women''… you cannot-- you can definitely see… ''the sheer brilliance''… ''of''… ''their delightful personalities'' between each and every one of them. And yet some of them can… ''turn''… and be very ''distraught''… ''but'' we have to learn to… abide by them… and just… let it pass! Even if it doesn't pass… we still love them because… at one point, even befo-- at one point, before they had--- they did a 180… in th-- in that sense… they were still caring! And they ''can'' be still caring. And just because they act in a harsh nature… even when they should be calm and peaceful… they still care… about… the men in their… lives. And especially the children… that she and her husband… put together… like I will be putting together with ''my''… sweetheart. My sweet [[Panda]]… [''sings softly''] [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008|“Never gonna give you uuuppp!”]]
But anyway, gettin' to—over to the ''women''… you cannot—you can definitely see… ''the sheer brilliance''… ''of''… ''their delightful personalities'' between each and every one of them. And yet some of them can… ''turn''… and be very ''distraught''… ''but'' we have to learn to… abide by them… and just… let it pass! Even if it doesn't pass… we still love them because… at one point, even befo—at one point, before they had—they did a 180… in th—in that sense… they were still caring! And they ''can'' be still caring. And just because they act in a harsh nature… even when they should be calm and peaceful… they still care… about… the men in their… lives. And especially the children… that she and her husband… put together… like I will be putting together with ''my''… sweetheart. My sweet [[Panda]]… [''sings softly''] [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008|“Never gonna give you uuuppp!”]]


''But''… I c-- ensure you that I am ''straight''. I-- 'cause, y’know, I appreciate the women - ''all'' the women - for their personalities purely. But… any ''man'' would be ''crazy''… or… even ''ignorant''… to not even notice the ''outer'' beauty in addition to their ''inner'' beauty. But I appreciate the inner beauty more… than the outer beauty. But yet, I am attracted to the outer beauty, as well… as the majority of m-- of my sp-- of my gender should be able to appreciate.
''But''… I c—ensure you that I am ''straight''. I—'cause, y’know, I appreciate the women—''all'' the women—for their personalities purely. But… any ''man'' would be ''crazy''… or… even ''ignorant''… to not even notice the ''outer'' beauty in addition to their ''inner'' beauty. But I appreciate the inner beauty more… than the outer beauty. But yet, I am attracted to the outer beauty, as well… as the majority of m—of my sp—of my gender should be able to appreciate.


[[Image:Playboy.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Chris's Exhibit A. While he wants you to believe he was fondling the picture of Eva Herzigová on the cover, he was in fact lusting after the Captain Morgan ad on the back.]]
[[Image:Playboy.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Chris's Exhibit A. While he wants you to believe he was fondling the picture of Eva Herzigová on the cover, he was in fact lusting after the Captain Morgan ad on the back.]]
[[File:Playboy Twitter.png|thumb|200px|right|Chris entertains the idea of ''modelling'' for Playboy nine years later.]]


[''holds up issue of Playboy''] And ''Playboy'' has been able to… help us in that sense to… better ''relate''… and further our appreciation for the female species. The females, the women. The beautiful ladies. [''grasps the magazine in both hands, as if holding the breasts of the woman on the cover, and inhales deeply''] Mmm…
[''holds up issue of Playboy''] And ''Playboy'' has been able to… help us in that sense to… better ''relate''… and further our appreciation for the female species. The females, the women. The beautiful ladies. [''grasps the magazine in both hands, as if holding the breasts of the woman on the cover, and inhales deeply''] Mmm...


[''puts magazine down''] But I digress, beholding a ''Playboy'', because I do not need to hold a ''Playboy''… to further prove… that I am… straight. Because… I am educated ''between''… my life-- between-- throughout my whole lifetime… and the classes I have taken, between sex ed, and high school, and real-life experiences, and my ins and outs in my [[Love quest|sweetheart church-- search]] in the past…
[''puts magazine down''] But I digress, beholding a ''Playboy'', because I do not need to hold a ''Playboy''… to further prove… that I am… straight. Because… I am educated ''between''… my life—between—throughout my whole lifetime… and the classes I have taken, between sex ed, and high school, and real-life experiences, and my ins and outs in my [[Love Quest|sweetheart church—search]] in the past...


The ''long'' past.
The ''long'' past.


Given that I was thwarted by ''one'' female, I would not hold the grudge against her. 'Cause I'm sure that she is sweet to others… especially to… the men that had-- are actually closer to her in her life than I have ever was, or ever capable of being. I still… [''clears throat''] will not hold the grudge against her. Yet I will-- yet I have… ''drawn''… previous times… moments of [[Virgin with rage|''rage'']]… and anger against. ''But''… expressing the anger… in that s-- in the sense of drawing… in the sense of art… but not… to put it into ''gory details'', but… makin' it acceptable for even the-- uh… to make it applicable to be TV-Y7… of that rating.
Given that I was thwarted by ''one'' female, I would not hold the grudge against her. 'Cause I'm sure that she is sweet to others… especially to… the men that had—are actually closer to her in her life than I have ever was, or ever capable of being. I still… [''clears throat''] will not hold the grudge against her. Yet I will—yet I have… ''drawn''… previous times… moments of [[Virgin with rage|''rage'']]… and anger against. ''But''… expressing the anger… in that s—in the sense of drawing… in the sense of art… but not… to put it into ''gory details'', but… makin' it acceptable for even the—uh… to make it applicable to be TV-Y7… of that rating.


That is not total rage, because that is rage-- negative rage, being put into ''positive''. I put most of my rage into ''positive''… outgoing-- outcomes, ''positive'' drawings, ''positive'' inspirations… because I ''care''… about the women.
That is not total rage, because that is rage—negative rage, being put into ''positive''. I put most of my rage into ''positive''… outgoing—outcomes, ''positive'' drawings, ''positive'' inspirations… because I ''care''… about the women.


N-- and not just the women that I have ''drawn''… and care about personally, but everyone that-- every women that I am only acquainted with… or do not know personally, or-- or ev-- or are even just total strangers to me. I still care about the women!
N—and not just the women that I have ''drawn''… and care about personally, but everyone that—every women that I am only acquainted with… or do not know personally, or—or ev—or are even just total strangers to me. I still care about the women!


And I even go as far… as to stoop i-- stoop to one low level…
And I even go as far… as to stoop i—stoop to one low level...


[''There is a pause, as Chris' facial expression changes to a slight half-grin and he suddenly mutters...'']
[''There is a pause, as Chris's facial expression changes to a slight half-grin and he suddenly mutters...'']


''Boobies!'' ''[[China|Vaginas]]''.
''Boobies!'' ''[[China|Vaginas]]''.


[''He holds out hands and moves them up and down, as though feeling up an imaginary woman. He then appears to briefly do something else with his hands that you probably [[Masturbation|don't want to know about]]''] Mmm…
[''He holds out hands and moves them up and down, as though feeling up an imaginary woman. He then appears to briefly do something else with his hands that you probably [[Masturbation|don't want to know about]]''] Mmm...


Gorgeous.
Gorgeous.
Line 67: Line 89:
Very gorgeous.
Very gorgeous.


[jump cut]
[''jump cut'']


I'm ''straight''. I love the women… ''outside''… [''repeats hand gesture''] ''and''… ''inside''… and… that should be enough to prove that I am ''straight''… to everyone, even those who dare say otherwise. And those who dare say otherwise? Well… I can only say that… y'all be damned! But I would not hold it against you, because… that is a humble-- that is your opinion. And even though it is… ''a whole bunch of lies''… ''and'' it cannot be acce-- it cannot be easily determined whether the originator is male ''or female''… I will not hold those opinions against anybody… because… I care… and I care more about the women… ''but''… I will… ''associate'' and cope with in a po-- in a-- ok-- in a okay light… with those of my own gender. ''But''… I will show more… affection and appreciation and care… for the women. For the women… [''voice trails off into breathlessness for a moment''] because they are surely the delightful, the more powerful, the more agile… the more… ''capable'' of coping with stresses in the lives… in and around us all.
I'm ''straight''. I love the women… ''outside''… [''repeats hand gesture''] ''and''… ''inside''… and… that should be enough to prove that I am ''straight''… to everyone, even those who dare say otherwise. And those who dare say otherwise? Well… I can only say that… y'all be damned! But I would not hold it against you, because… that is a humble—that is your opinion. And even though it is… ''a whole bunch of lies''… ''and'' it cannot be acce—it cannot be easily determined whether the originator is male ''or female''… I will not hold those opinions against anybody… because… I care… and I care more about the women… ''but''… I will… ''associate'' and cope with in a po—in a—ok—in a okay light… with those of my own gender. ''But''… I will show more… affection and appreciation and care… for the women. For the women… [''voice trails off into breathlessness for a moment''] because they are surely the delightful, the more powerful, the more agile… the more… ''capable'' of coping with stresses in the lives… in and around us all.


Even the stereotypes. They can-- they ''will'' express their anger… against it. But that is because they care about themselves… and they want ''us'' to appreciate them individually for who they are! But I digress.
Even the stereotypes. They can—they ''will'' express their anger… against it. But that is because they care about themselves… and they want ''us'' to appreciate them individually for who they are! But I digress.


I am straight… because I care about the women… individually. I appreciate their [[women's rights|humble opinions…]] and as well as, uh, their outer beauty… [''repeats hand gesture again''] and their ''inner'' beauty… and to every one of them… I offer a hug. You don't have to get it in person… because you get-- because you can easily get that from those that are very close to you.
I am straight… because I care about the women… individually. I appreciate their [[women's rights|humble opinions…]] and as well as, uh, their outer beauty… [''repeats hand gesture again''] and their ''inner'' beauty… and to every one of them… [[Megan|I offer a hug.]] You don't have to get it in person… because you get—because you can easily get that from those that are very close to you.


Right. So… C-Christian Weston Chandler. I am ''straight''. [''inhales deeply and repeats hand gesture yet again'']  Mmm…
Right. So… C-Christian Weston Chandler. I am ''straight''. [''inhales deeply and repeats hand gesture yet again'']  Mmm...


Peace!
Peace!


{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[CWC Update 8 January 2009]]|nextlink=[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009]]|}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Update 8 January 2009]]|nextlink=[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009]]|}}
 
== References ==
<references/>
 
{{MiyamotoSaga}}


{{Captain's Log}}
{{Captain's Log}}


{{Clyde Saga}}
[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2009-01-12]]


[[Category: Captain's log entries| 2009-01-12]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, January 2009| 2009-01-12]]
[[Category:Clyde Cash Saga videos| 2009-01-12]]
[[Category:Videos about homos| 2009-01-12]]
[[Category:Videos About or Featuring Farts]]

Latest revision as of 02:18, 28 August 2024

What Chris probably thought of while fantasizing about boobies and vaginas.

"I am STRAIGHT" (officially "IamSTRAIGHT" for both videos) is a series of videos in which Chris attempts to set the record straight about his sexuality once and for all. His first video is literally two sentences long, warning everyone to remember his straightness. He holds up a relatively tame picture of Britney Spears, apparently thinking that owning magazines with sexy photos of women in them is proof of his heterosexuality.

Chris follows this up with a 10-minute dissertation on how he deeply loves, respects, and understands women, insisting also that he wants to have sex with them. He seems to assume that heterosexuality demands more than a superficial physical attraction to women to be credible. In his attempt to laud the qualities of women, Chris ascribes to them numerous qualities, including having superior power, agility, and coping skills than men. Also, boobies and chinas.

Chris did these videos in a failed attempt to appease Clyde Cash to have his website restored.[1]

Part 1

I am STRAIGHT Part 1
Click to load content
Direct link YouTube, archive
Stardate 12 January 2009
Subject Matter HomosHomos Homos
Performance Style ReasonReason Reason
Saga MiyamotoMiyamoto Miyamoto
Shirt Red Yellow StripeRed Yellow Stripe The Racing Stripe
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
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CWC Update 8 January 2009 		next
I am STRAIGHT Part 2
“ I, Christian Chandler, am straight. ”

Transcript

I, Christian Chandler, am straight. [holds up Britney Spears poster]

Don't you forget it.

Part 2

Description

ALSO, Sonichu.net is FULLY RESTORED (with a minor sacrifice of being unable to restore the Bionicle Site).


I am STRAIGHT Part 2
Click to load content
Direct link YouTube, archive
Stardate 12 January 2009
Subject Matter HomosHomos Homos
Performance Style ReasonReason Reason
Saga MiyamotoMiyamoto Miyamoto
Shirt Red Yellow StripeRed Yellow Stripe The Racing Stripe
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
previous
I am STRAIGHT Part 1 		next
Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009
“ Boobies! Vaginas. Mmm... ”

Transcript

You know who I am. But I have randomly decided to make this video because I am sick of all the false accusations and rumors and slanders that have been going around [farts] on the Internet about—against me. [inhales deeply]

So, I tell y—so, I tell you for sure and for true that I am straight. I could te—and I can tell you why from a lifetime of stories, but I'll tell it to you in just a few short minutes.

Anyway… most of my friends in my life… have been female. I've had only few male acquaintances. And they've definitely turned me off—the majority of them—because they are rude, crude, and inconsiderate… causing wars and such.

A lesson Chris refuses to learn.

But… women are so kind and sweet. And you don't have to look at any… pict—any—any of 'em in bikinis or in the nude… to know—to—to—not s—to fail to see the attrac—to fail to see the beauty in each and every… wonderful woman. But inside that beauty they all have caring qualities—the majority of them. Y’know, between them and me and the majority of the world… we all just want to be understood! [sigh] And I understand the ladies. I understand the women.

But… I do not need… to cons—to con—to fall—stoop down to a level of where the hormones—where my hormones would go out of rage… to appreciate… them as being my friends… and my gal-pals… even as—even as well as acquaintances… because I can only have one true sweetheart.

But anyway, gettin' to—over to the women… you cannot—you can definitely see… the sheer brilliance… of… their delightful personalities between each and every one of them. And yet some of them can… turn… and be very distraught… but we have to learn to… abide by them… and just… let it pass! Even if it doesn't pass… we still love them because… at one point, even befo—at one point, before they had—they did a 180… in th—in that sense… they were still caring! And they can be still caring. And just because they act in a harsh nature… even when they should be calm and peaceful… they still care… about… the men in their… lives. And especially the children… that she and her husband… put together… like I will be putting together with my… sweetheart. My sweet Panda… [sings softly] “Never gonna give you uuuppp!”

But… I c—ensure you that I am straight. I—'cause, y’know, I appreciate the women—all the women—for their personalities purely. But… any man would be crazy… or… even ignorant… to not even notice the outer beauty in addition to their inner beauty. But I appreciate the inner beauty more… than the outer beauty. But yet, I am attracted to the outer beauty, as well… as the majority of m—of my sp—of my gender should be able to appreciate.

Chris's Exhibit A. While he wants you to believe he was fondling the picture of Eva Herzigová on the cover, he was in fact lusting after the Captain Morgan ad on the back.
Chris entertains the idea of modelling for Playboy nine years later.

[holds up issue of Playboy] And Playboy has been able to… help us in that sense to… better relate… and further our appreciation for the female species. The females, the women. The beautiful ladies. [grasps the magazine in both hands, as if holding the breasts of the woman on the cover, and inhales deeply] Mmm...

[puts magazine down] But I digress, beholding a Playboy, because I do not need to hold a Playboy… to further prove… that I am… straight. Because… I am educated between… my life—between—throughout my whole lifetime… and the classes I have taken, between sex ed, and high school, and real-life experiences, and my ins and outs in my sweetheart church—search in the past...

The long past.

Given that I was thwarted by one female, I would not hold the grudge against her. 'Cause I'm sure that she is sweet to others… especially to… the men that had—are actually closer to her in her life than I have ever was, or ever capable of being. I still… [clears throat] will not hold the grudge against her. Yet I will—yet I have… drawn… previous times… moments of rage… and anger against. But… expressing the anger… in that s—in the sense of drawing… in the sense of art… but not… to put it into gory details, but… makin' it acceptable for even the—uh… to make it applicable to be TV-Y7… of that rating.

That is not total rage, because that is rage—negative rage, being put into positive. I put most of my rage into positive… outgoing—outcomes, positive drawings, positive inspirations… because I care… about the women.

N—and not just the women that I have drawn… and care about personally, but everyone that—every women that I am only acquainted with… or do not know personally, or—or ev—or are even just total strangers to me. I still care about the women!

And I even go as far… as to stoop i—stoop to one low level...

[There is a pause, as Chris's facial expression changes to a slight half-grin and he suddenly mutters...]

Boobies! Vaginas.

[He holds out hands and moves them up and down, as though feeling up an imaginary woman. He then appears to briefly do something else with his hands that you probably don't want to know about] Mmm...

Gorgeous.

Very gorgeous.

[jump cut]

I'm straight. I love the women… outside… [repeats hand gesture] and… inside… and… that should be enough to prove that I am straight… to everyone, even those who dare say otherwise. And those who dare say otherwise? Well… I can only say that… y'all be damned! But I would not hold it against you, because… that is a humble—that is your opinion. And even though it is… a whole bunch of lies… and it cannot be acce—it cannot be easily determined whether the originator is male or female… I will not hold those opinions against anybody… because… I care… and I care more about the women… but… I will… associate and cope with in a po—in a—ok—in a okay light… with those of my own gender. But… I will show more… affection and appreciation and care… for the women. For the women… [voice trails off into breathlessness for a moment] because they are surely the delightful, the more powerful, the more agile… the more… capable of coping with stresses in the lives… in and around us all.

Even the stereotypes. They can—they will express their anger… against it. But that is because they care about themselves… and they want us to appreciate them individually for who they are! But I digress.

I am straight… because I care about the women… individually. I appreciate their humble opinions… and as well as, uh, their outer beauty… [repeats hand gesture again] and their inner beauty… and to every one of them… I offer a hug. You don't have to get it in person… because you get—because you can easily get that from those that are very close to you.

Right. So… C-Christian Weston Chandler. I am straight. [inhales deeply and repeats hand gesture yet again] Mmm...

Peace!

⇐ CWC Update 8 January 2009 Chris's videos Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009 ⇒


References

  1. ↑ Gregg_Mays_E-mails#It_is_I.2C_Jason_Kendrick_Howell.21_If_you_ever_want_to_see_your_beloved_site_restored.2C_you_must_meet_my_demands._.E2.80.94_January_12.2C_2009
Miyamoto saga.png Miyamoto Saga Miyamoto saga.png
The Players

People: Chris • Gregg Mays (Jason Kendrick Howell • Clyde Cash) • Shigeru Miyamoto • Reggie Fils-Aimé • Takashi Tezuka • Jay Z

E-mails:
Gregg Mays E-mails • Miyamoto E-mails • Reggie E-mails
Gregg Mays: Nintendo:
Coinciding Sagas: Clyde Cash,

v • d • e  
Captain's Log
Nov 2007
7
Aug 2008
3 • 6 • 8 • 15 • 28
Sept 2008
11 • 13 • 24
Oct 2008
9 • 13 • 21 • 27
Dec 2008
Jan 2009
6 • 8 • 12 • 15 • 16 • 18 • 21 • 26 • 30 • 31
Feb 2009
8 • 10 • 18
Mar 2009
4 • 10 • 18 • 26 • 27
Apr 2009
9 • 12 • 17 • 28 • 29
May 2009
3 • 22
July 2009
1 • 7 • 22 • 29
Aug 2009
3 • 12 • 13 • 16 • 18 • 20 • 22 • 30
Sept 2009
4 • 10 • 19 • 25 • 29
Oct 2009
9 • 10 • 15
Nov 2009
12 • 14
Dec 2009
3 • 9 • 12 • 20 • 25
Jan 2010
2 • 9 • 12 • 14 • 15 • 17 • 22 • 29
Feb 2010
1 • 5 • 9
Mar 2010
2
Apr 2010
May 2010
15 • 20 • 31
Aug 2010
Sept 2010
6 • 13
July 2016
April 2017
14 • 19 • 27 • 29
May 2017
1 • 3 • 5
June 2017
7 • 14 • 23
July 2017
7 • 14
August 2017
2 • 14
September 2017
4
October 2017
4 • 5 • 9 • 17
January 2018
April 2018
July 2021
9
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