CWCki Forums

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This article is about the original CWCki Forums. For the subsequent site that it was enlarged and rebranded as, see Kiwi Farms. For the Kiwi Farms splinter site, see CWCki Club.
CHRISTIAN IS NOT A GOD DAMNED HOMO!!!! CHRISTIAN IS STRAIGHT!!!! He gets hard over women!! He vomits at males!!


Chris on the CWCki Forums, 24 August 2013
This is basically it.

The CWCki Forums was the name of a web message board previously loosely affiliated with the CWCki. It was frequented by many of the wiki regulars and other people interested in all things Christorical. Its primary purpose was to allow users to discuss and speculate about Chris, without needing to do so in the CWCki talk pages. It received hundreds of thousands of posts on hundreds of different discussion topics about Chris over the years, and had thousands of posters, which can cause one to pause and either marvel at the enduring fascination of Chris as a subject matter, wonder who the actual autists were, or both.

It is known that Chris was posting on the forum in 2012 under the nickname "paintingatree". In his few posts, he generally tried to defend himself under the guise of a remorseful troll. This fact alone, as well as his writing style and posting habits (posting rarely, never in the same thread again and never trying to start a conversation with other users) made his presence somewhat a open secret. Surprisingly, Chris registered again under the same nickname in February 2013. He wrote the first post on 23 May, in which he made it clear that it was him. In spite of this, in other posts he pretended to be someone else. As it could be expected, he was trying to defend himself again (mostly from accusations of being homosexual, since many users, knowing that they're being watched, jokingly concluded that the meaning behind his absurd Facebook riddle is that Chris wants to come out of the closet), and was very rude to the users in almost all of his posts. Being in the process of adding old friends from his high school on FB, he also asked if anybody found Tiffany Gowen.

It's assumed that Chris lurked on the boards regularly, and screenshots of the forum have appeared on his Facebook account. His exact motivations for doing this are not clear, but it has been speculated that he intended to use the screen caps as proof of a troll conspiracy including Michael Snyder. Robert Bell, Chris's lawyer, was apparently unpersuaded by Chris's legal acumen and did not enter any screen caps into evidence.

In February 2015 the site was consolidated into the Kiwi Farms, which focuses on lolcows (people and groups who are generally not self-aware and whose eccentric or foolish behavior can be "milked" for amusement and laughs) in general and not just CWC. (The new name came from the way several lolcows mispronounced "CWCki Forums".)


Below are the posts Chris wrote under pseudonym paintingatree between 23 May and 6 September 2013. Unfortunately, all of his posts from the old Forumer incarnation from 2012 seem to be lost. Chris's posts are in blue, while posts in threads he was responding to are in red.

Re: DreamHost and a possible migration

by Marvin » Wed May 22, 2013 1:00 am

Uhh, all the cool kids use linode. Also, I'd whatever the whatever you're asking us to whatever, but I'm too drunk to do it properly and/or usefully right now, so, maybe when I'm sober.

And then, a wild Chris-Chan appears:

by paintingatree » Thu May 23, 2013 7:36 am

Why don't you and that damn Cwcki just go ahead and die off the Internet already so I can finally find some peace of my life? [2]

Re: Should Chris Consider Dating A 'Special' Girl?

by Thetan » Sat Jun 08, 2013 10:42 pm

Rather than constantly whining about how lonely he is, Chris should consider revising his sweetheart standards. He has set the bar far too high for himself. He couldn't even make things work out with Faeryn or The Wallflower.

Chris could do well with a 'special' girl: potentially someone mildly mentally retarded who enjoys the same childish things he does. They could enjoy each other's company, coloring and watching cartoons together. As long as they don't have unprotected sex, I don't see a problem with this type of relationship.

Such a person may actually find Chris interesting, look up to him, and hang onto his every word. The relationship would not only alleviate his loneliness, but be good for his ego as well.

by paintingatree » Tue Aug 06, 2013 11:48 pm

In response to your question, I ask you a question. Would YOU, in full honesty, full truth, in your right mind, at all, date a "Special Girl"? How would you feel if you woke up the next morning with droning moaning and blather coming from the face next to you?[4]

Re: Tiffany Gowen

by paintingatree » Wed Aug 14, 2013 8:20 pm

Hey, whatever happened to Tiffany? Didn't she get married or something? Like, dude, where did she go; has anyone found her?[5]

Most noteworthy response:

by applecat » Fri Aug 16, 2013 10:14 am

I found her! It was tough because she didn't have a Facebook, but I made sure to send her a link to the CWCki so she would know to stay away from that horrible man. She was very disappointed in him, but she thanked me for the tip-off. That's one more gal-pal safe from Chris!

Re: I had a conversation with my wife about Christian.

by The Dude » Sat Aug 17, 2013 9:41 am

I've told her a little about Christian back in the day, but haven't told her about any of the recent stuff like Tomgil, running over Snyder, stuff like that.

The conversation went like this:

Me: So let's have a hypothetical.

Mrs. Dude: OK.

Me: Let's say something happens to me and we're no longer together. For sake of argument let's say I died.

Mrs. Dude: Oh no!

Me: So I'm dead and gone, and you're single again. Enough time has passed that you want to get back out and find another man.

Mrs. Dude: OK.

Me: Now here's the rub; the only guy who wants to date you is fat, balding, doesn't bathe, has no job, dresses like a girl, and lives with his mother in a hoarded house. He also shits himself when he's upset.

Mrs. Dude: Ew! EEWWWWW!!!

Me: What do you do?

Mrs. Dude: Tell him to stay away and strongly consider becoming a lesbian.

Me: A wise choice.

Mrs. Dude: There's someone out there that you know about who fits that exact description, isn't there?

Me: Remember that guy I told you about on the internet? The guy I showed you the videos of him having a singing battle with my friend?

Mrs. Dude: The autistic kid with the fucked up Sonic thing?

Me: Yup.

Mrs. Dude: He SHITS himself?

Me: Yup.

Mrs. Dude: Oh my...why? That's just grody! EW! EEWWWW!!

Me: I know.

Do you ever have conversations with anyone about Chris? How have they gone?

by paintingatree » Sat Aug 17, 2013 2:56 pm

You, sir, are NOT married; you are making as much fabrication up as Chris would. Your post is a fraud; you will never change my mind; You Are Pathetic. Ha. Ha. Ha. [8]

Seriously? No one wants to finish Chris' Puzzle?

by paintingatree » Sat Aug 17, 2013 7:08 pm

You all aren't even going to figure the Links between the photos? I mean, I don't think they have the same common thread, but one still links to the other. The lemon cake is a favorite food of businesswomen, and Cuban is a businessman. A bakery in Delaware highly recommends lemon and almond cookies. Delaware Bue Hens; hens on a farm with tornados. It's not totally rocket science. [9]

Re: Chris likes the lancers on facebook.

by paintingatree » Mon Aug 19, 2013 3:10 pm

Oh, for God's Sake!!! Did Chris not make it clear enough time and again that he is in Absolute Fact Fucking Straight?! He gets a hard on with a Woman! He gets Pukey Sick when seeing topless males! He freaking wears a bra to cover his own shame! He gets a hard on with WOMEN!!! Stop Mislabeling the Straight Man Already!!!

BTW: Cuban was born in Pittsburg; Pirates roam the seas with the Mayflower; there is a photo of Chris wearing a Pittsburg Pirates Cap. Also, when you want to call him Stupid, do not mislabel him there either!

You all are pathetic, stupid, no ounce is common sense or intelligence at all! I do not know why I keep following you all at all!

Break Up the whole Group here already!!! [10]

Christian Weston Chandler is STRAIGHT!!!!

by paintingatree » Sat Aug 24, 2013 1:59 pm

You God Damn Pinheads!!!! I have already told you; Chris has told you!!!! The Riddle's answer was the FUCKING PITTSBURG PIRATES!!!! CHRISTIAN IS NOT A GOD DAMNED HOMO!!!! CHRISTIAN IS STRAIGHT!!!! He gets hard over women!! He vomits at males!!


I should know very well, because I Am Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, VA, himself!!!!

You god damned males make me vomit, sick and shit!! [11]

September 2 FB update; New Troll to "Welcome"

Just after revealing himself in his previous post, Chris acts as if nothing happened. Instead of encouraging his trolls to harass his perceived enemies directly in a quoted FB post, he does it by pretending to be one of them... and fails.

by paintingatree » Mon Sep 2, 2013 9:22 am

He has posted Publically [sic], and I quote:

I have just been intercepted by a Manajerk and an Offline Troll/Bully. Her name is [REDACTED]; works within the Mal-Wart region. Every Troll/Cyber-Bully should contact her at her email address of [REDACTED], and remind her that no one is to mess with an Autistic Person when they are in a depressed, sad, angry or foul mood, especially with the online reputation that was dragged through the worst mud, muck and bodily fluids that said Autistic Person has, and if his hatred of the XBox brand, and the number of Trolls that populate half to three-quarters of that brand, stand in the way of the foul mood, then that is Microsoft's Freaking Problem!

Yes! Let's Bother The Hell Out Of the Manajerk, and Give Her the Worst Day of Her Life!!![12]

Bann has happened again

Chris again requests for a trolling plan to troll Ms.Manajerk which is according to his Facebook post on 6 September 2013, ignoring the No trolling plans rule again.

by paintingatree » Fri Sep 06, 2013 1:00 pm

Ha! I sincerely do not find anything credible about this forum that makes it Not-Trolling. We really should Troll (name redacted) now that she has followed in Michael Snyder's steps now. She deserves revenge in Chris' name. [13]


After getting the responses he doesn't desire, Chris then tard rages and shows off his huge ego about how taking his words and content without permission or consent is trolling and cyber-bullying. Again, he pretends as if he is not Chris at all.

by paintingatree » Fri Sep 06, 2013 9:02 pm

IF this was NOT a Trolling Forum, you all would NOT be talking at all about Christian. The more you talk about him, AND bother him in ANY Communications, AND take his words and content without permission or consent, THE MORE YOU BASTARDS ARE SO TROLLING AND CYBER-BULLYING!!!



Through the years, Chris has taken screencaps of various posts on both the CWCki Forums and the Kiwi Farms, posting and responding to them on either Facebook or Twitter.

See also