CWC-isms

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One of Chris's most notorious features is his strange vocabulary. Like many children who don't feel comfortable referring to adult concepts directly, Chris often resorts to creating cutesy euphemisms for a lot of words that anyone else his age would generally use with little reservation, which is common with autistic people. While some of them are understandable — after all, nobody would really relish discussing their diapers — others, such as "tobacky" instead of "tobacco", only serve to turn an otherwise normal sentence into an advertisement for Chris's childish nature. Others are attempts to be clever that fail miserably, for example, he refers to semen as "navy", because semen sounds like sea men, get it? Combine this with the idiosyncratic speech patterns that are common among autistics, and you get his so-called CWCisms.

CWC-isms may be combinations or butchered versions of words or phrases that already exist, entirely new words, commonplace words that he uses repeatedly in a peculiar or obsessive way, or entirely new phrases that Chris often has to explain afterwards because nobody knows what he's talking about.

Primary categories of CWC-isms

There are 5 main types of CWC-isms:

1. CWC-neologism - a new word or phrase, which didn't exist before, and was first created by Chris.
   Example: Lovehogs, a portmanteau of "love" and "hedgehogs".
2. CWC-euphemism - a preexisting word or phrase, which Chris for some strange reason gave a totally different meaning than it was meant to.
   Example: Duck, meant to denote a bird, Chris uses it to denote his penis.
3. CWC-anachronism - an obscure word or phrase which Chris has learned somewhere and now likes to utter pretty often, and which became characteristic for Chris's way of speaking/writing.
   Example: I don't care for smth., a phrase Chris uses almost every time he expresses hate for something or someone.
4. CWC-misspelling - only the most notable of Chris's misspellings: those, which became characteristic for Chris's way of writing.
   Example: Geinus, what he deems himself to be.
5. Other shit - or Miscellaneous.

These 5 Main Types of CWC-isms are here to help you determine, if a word or phrase is a CWC-ism. If it fits the first 4 types, it most probably is. If it doesn't, it most probably isn't. Only the most important and notable of exclusions go into the 5th Type.

A

Adult Swim 1. (adjective) pornographic or otherwise "NSFW"; containing adult content. She still has a great drawing style, even for the Adult Swim section." Origin: Refers to the Cartoon Network block, Adult Swim. Chris seemed to only consider the "Adult" part of this block's name, and therefore assumed he could use this phrase to describe anything that's "adult" to him. adulterous 1. (adjective) Of an adult and mature nature Originally it was supposed to be like, you know, like ages 7 and up, but then I end up going to the content, uh, it could be considered, be like, be like definitely be considered adulterous. Origin: usually used to describe people who cheat on their partners (i.e. guilty of adultery), Chris only notices the "adult" component of the word. 2. (adjective) Insult of unclear nature Heeeeey, folks! It's me, Clyde Cash. I am the ruler of the internet and the internet trolls. I am an adulterous foe, a bastard and a self-righteous idiot who spends his time wallowing and trolling the one Christian Weston Chandler, and making up a whole bunch of dadgum rumors all over the internet! Origin: Chris simply throws out the insult without a clear understanding of the word. Possibly referring to Clyde taking PandaHalo from Chris, though this is more aptly described as cuckoldry. an' anurr thing 1. (Phrase, transitionary) Signifies that Chris wishes to make another point about a subject he is discussing, and that he wishes he were Peter Falk. An' anurr thing...CHRIS. Your for real- your real name, as I have been told by Kacey, is only Chris Chandler! No "-tian," no "-topher," just Chris! So, admit that. An' anurr thing, I NAME is NOT IAN! BRANDON!!! SOMETHING!!!!! Origin: a corruption of "and another thing". Used constantly when Chris is angry. anchuent 1. (adjective) Anything that is archaic in the Sonichu canon. Well, what's this? I'm havin' an upgrade? Huh! Huh! My- my powers are given me the ability to fly with my wings attached to my head! It's like a w- it's like an add-on! That's optional! Huh! Must have been done by Anchuent Powers, so awesome I can fly now! Huh! Origin: Initially, "anchuent" was taken to be a misspelling of the word "ancient" given Chris' poor grasp of the English language. Over time, however, it was revealed that "anchuent" was meant to be a portmanteau of the words "ancient" and "Sonichu", adding the "chu" part of "Sonichu" into the word "ancient". and such 1. (phrase) And additional items; to add to a list. At least to give you all, my patient, loyal Fans and Trolls, something to quell your pallets until Official Merchandise is sold in Official Stores such as Toys 'R' Us, GameStop, Best Buy, Wal-Mart, etcetera and such. Origin: Chris understands the term's meaning, but uses it superfluously. artery 1. (noun) art. Good evening, but between this and the, uh, oh, and the other clips I would like to present you, uh, a few examples of hand artery. Origin: Not to be confused with the term for blood vessels. Chris doesn't seem to realize "art" is already a noun and doesn't need the suffix. as such 1. (adverb) In the manner previously described. They just hated me because they don't, they did not understand people with autism. And so they tortured me as such. Origin: Chris overuses this phrase to the point of self-parody. He's either tacking it on to fill space when he can't think of the next thing to say, or he's peppering it into his language in a feeble attempt to sound intelligent. attraction location 1. (noun) Any place Chris may sit to gain the attention of any passing women, only to get promptly kicked out afterward. Also, as of early November, I was reemitted into the Fashion Square Shopping Center, and since Mid-December, I totally left the UVA as an Attraction Location. Origin: Chris, having a very difficult socializing with women, thought that sitting around in a certain place and soliciteing himself would be a better alternative. Therefore, it would make sense to him to sit in a location with many people in order to gain the attention of several women. attraction time 1. (noun) The time that is spent at an attraction location Then, on my next visit to the mall, I felt seriously depressed about what had happened the other day; it killed my attraction time.

B

B-dog 1. (noun) Derogatory epithet for women. Then that B-Dog ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her quarters and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY. Origin: Retarded censorship of the word "bitch". Bubbles Rosechu is implied to say this in Sonichu #8, when she shouts "BEEE..!!!" at Silvana. Be Woman 1. (verb phrase) Be a woman. I am a Lesbian Transwoman; I am not confused or mentally ill about that; I Am Woman. How Dare You Insult and be so Inconsiderate of Her like that? She Is Woman; she would Never Revert Back. Origin: Used regularly when Chris asserts his transgender identity, notable for the consistent lack of a proper article and capitalization of each word in the phrase. Originally only attested in the first person ("I Am Woman"), a post on Chris's Miss Night Star Twitter sockpuppet account uses the third person ("She Is Woman"). Technically first appears in Sonichu 8 when The Incredible Lioness attacks Jason Kendrick Howell, as the somewhat cliché musical reference "I am woman, hear me roar!", which may have inspired Chris's broader use of the phrase. biological clock 1. (noun) circadian rhythm 'I have a lot of stored caffeene [sic] in my energy supply, and not only kept me on my toes, but has also messed up my fucking biological clock as well. Origin: Although technically not used incorrectly in this context, the phrase "biological clock" is used exclusively for women in their child-bearing years. Possibly a confusion with "internal clock". blangry 1. (adjective) Angry. Oh, and how 'bout this?! I get BLANGRY! Origin: Given Chris's belief that he has mastered the English language and his speech impediment, it's likely he fucked up saying angry. blue-printed 1. (adjective) Skilled in engineering. I like many others, was born a foal; to a blue-printed Pegasus and a country tomboy earth mare. Origin: Chris portrayed Bob's Pony Counterpart in Sonichu 12-9 as an engineer, just like the real Bob. Due to Chris' limited vocabulary, Chris knew very little words he could use to describe Bob's profession. Derived from the word "blueprints", the plans set for the design of a product. boyfriend-free 1. (adjective) Single; particularly used on women. Ahh, well, it's been over a year and ten months now since I started my sweetheart-search; I still haven't found a boyfriend-free-caring-smoke-free-non-alcoholic-white-girl-near-my-age to build a relationship with from the ground up. Buddha belly 1. (expression) Excess fat that gives a person a very round appearance. Okay, well, I admit I do have a Buddha belly, but I am not lazy, I do get out and about, I exercise, I jog and work out, and I eat healthy. Origin: "Buddha" is a title given to several legendary figures in Buddhism. In this case, Chris is making reference to Budai, who is often known as "Fat Buddha". Chris presumably picked up the phrase from the Family Guy episode "To Love and Die in Dixie." buh bye bay nose 1. (phrase) but if anybody knows. If I knew who you were, I'd give you a kick in da bawls. But I can't, because I don't know who or where you are. Buh bye bay nose the whereabouts of the... jerk... and just happens to be nearby... or within the state? Give him a swick kick for me. butt garment 1. (noun) adult diaper; typically one used to control Chris' fecal incontenence. Origin: To avoid embarrassment from stating that he shits himself constantly, and uses diapers, Chris refers to his adult diapers as butt garments.

E

elbow-greased 1. (adjective) Poessessing a lot of strength There are no quotes that cite the use of this CWC-ism. It appears in his resume, where he lists it as one of his "functional skills" Origin: A misuse of the idiom, "elbow-grease", a figure of speech humorously used for tasks that involve manual labor only. Electric Hedgehog Pokémon 1. (noun) Any of the characters found in Sonichu which are hybrids of Sonic the Hedgehog characters and/or Pokemon. Since the inspiration and conception of Sonichu, the Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon on March 17, 2000, I have grown further in his stories, plots and adventures in a series of hand-drawn and computer-edited comic books. Origin: Despite the name, a majority of "Electric Hedgehog Pokemon" are neither Pokemon or hedgehogs. This misnomer may come from Chris' original characters being hybrids of two Sonic characters, both of whom are hedgehogs (Sonic and Amy Rose) and two Pokemon (Pikachu and Raichu). entendre 1. (noun) Charisma or attraction Too much entendre? Origin: Derived from the phrase "double entendre", a figure of speech used for words or phrases with a double meaning, typically with one of them being risque. In English, the word "entendre" isn't typically used outside of the phrase itself, but in many other languages like French and Catalan, it is understood to mean "to hear" or "to understand". Chris, thinking he knows everything there is to know about the English language, most likely botched up his understanding of this with his Ego.

G

gal-pal 1. (noun) a female friend. And also, I would like to give a shout-out to...Ivy, sweet gal-pal of mine...and her friend Rachel across the hall from her, in a college within these United States! gaybian 1. (noun) a male lesbian, whatever that's supposed to mean. Uh… simply put—and I am willing to say this… in sound mind and body: I… am a gaybian. Origin: With Clyde Cash threatening to harm Julie, him forcing Chris to "come out of the closet", and Chris having no clue how to handle the situation, Chris thought it would be clever to admit he was gay, but yet he isn't attracted to men. Thus, he tacked on the word "gay" onto "lesbian" to create the word "gaybian". give birth, give the birth 1. (verb) To transfer possession of the state of having been born, by bearing as offspring. My mother and my father are both really nice, old-fashioned-type people who not only gave the birth--gave me birth at their ages...which my mother is sixty-six, currently, and my father is currently eighty. They both just turned that way in the last couple of months. And, uh, I was born in 1982. They gave me the birth...then, and, uh, anyway, it was so nice of--for them to give me the, uh, birth during the early 1980s. Origin: Chris seems to think that a sentence like "Barbara gave birth to Christian" is grammatically equivalent to a sentence like "Barbara gave Go-bots to Christian." go make a rhyme 1. (expression) A phrase used by Chris to indicate that he is in a poetic mood. Oh, Back Off, go make a rhyme. Love will come your way in good time. Keep Heart, Have hope and faith. Life is a coinkie-dink strafe. Have an open heart, don’t be afraid. Your sweetie is likely in your friendship parade. Origin: Chris intended to write a rhyme in order to sound poetic in a tweet, continuing with the rhyming schtick in several subsequent ones. Due to his own laziness, the best Chris could come up with in terms of words that rhyme with "time" is "rhyme".

J

janekop (noun) 1. A female jerkop. YOU'RE UNDER ARREST. SO SAYS THIS JANEKOP. Origin: Whereas the term "jerkop" is a portmanteau of the CWC-ism "jerk" and the word "cop", janekop is a portmanteau of the words "jane" and "cop". The word "jane" is a slang word for "woman". jerk (noun) 1. Any man that Chris dislikes, particularly one that gets in the way of his LoveQuest. On the flip side, I feel discomfort around men, because they can be such mean and cruel jerks. Origin: The term "jerk" is generally defined as "A person with unlikable or obnoxious qualities and behavior, typically mean, self-centered or disagreeable." . As stated in the quote above, Chris believes that all men to be cruel, selfish, and overall unlikeable. Therefore, he views almost all men as jerks. jerkop (noun) 1. An official of the law. I would have left peacefully, in fact, I was ready to go, but I had a prepared speech to say to them stupid Jerkops. Origin: Since Chris views most officers of the law as jerks, the term is a portmanteau of "jerk" and "cop". Possibly a pun on the word "jerkoff", which is defined as being "a contemptible man".

K

Kick the Autistic 1. (noun) Any action which involves doing something to Chris that he doesn't like And if you have so much free time to play the cruelest game of "KICK THE AUTISTIC", then you CAN and SHOULD put the time to better use; volunteer for a social chore; take up the culture in tasteful art; go out and socialize. 2. (noun) Any form of discrimination towards Chris solely due to his autism. I REALLY WANTED THAT TRIP SO I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO IMPRESS MY SWEETEST MEGAN AND POSSIBLY FULFILL MY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED AND SOON HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED CRYSTAL. YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "KICK THE AUTISTIC!" *sigh* Origin: Chris has this paranoid idea that the whole world is going against him and his goals, solely due to his autism. In this sense, the fact that so many people want to thwart his goals makes him feel like he's being "kicked" around.

O

old-fashioned 1. (adjective) Racist. But still, call me old-fashioned but, I'd rather be- I would not- I'd uh- I'd definitely wouldn't uh... NOT BLACK. Not black. 2. (adjective) Opposed to miscegenation. I mean Old Fashioned as in the Classic white-marry-white type of thing. 3. (adjective) Homophobic. My father is OLD FASHIONED; he NEVER gives thought to homos, and he HATES them too. 4. (adjective) Dating back to the 1980s. Ah, you can tell this is an old-fashioned Lego set on account of this—the old-fashioned "LegoLand" on the corner. OH! MY AXELS! or OW! MY AXELS! 1. (interjection) Expression of pain in one's axles (the central shafts of rotating wheels or gears in a machine). OOOHHHHHH!!!! MY AXELS!!!!! Origin: Written for Ghost Buggy's cameo in Sonichu #7, based upon the character's tendency to complain about its aching mechanical components.

Q
q-sand 1. (noun) Short for quarter sandwich (i.e. a quarter of a sandwich). So, mom ignored her and ate the q-sand in front of her. Origin: Appeared in an e-mail sent to Jackie dated August 5, 2011. Most likely unnecessarily used as a way past cool abbreviation.

T

tobacky 1. (noun) tobacco or tobacco products If I could, I would take every last ounce of tobacky, put 'em on a rocket, and shoot 'em up to the Moon. Origin: Chris hated the idea of smoking so much that even uttering the word "tobacco" made him feel uncomfortable, so he created a new retarded sounding word to avoid saying the actual word. telekinesis 1. (noun) Telepathy, i.e. communication through long distances, usually via psychic or supernatural means. I’ve been communicating with her through telekinesis, and she sounded very lonesome. Origin: Whereas telekinesis means moving objects from a distance with psychic powers (c.f. kinetic), Chris has never used the term properly. Psychic characters in the comic have both powers of telekinesis and telepathy, but Chris has only used the former to refer to both. tomgirl 1. (noun) A male who is into girly stuff; apparently, in Chris's mind, this goes all the way to make-up and crossdressing. I am Tomgirl. Origin: analogous to "tomboy", i.e. a girl who likes boy-stuff. too many crooks 1. (interjection) Expression of dissatisfaction with an overabundance of evildoers. Well, call it--this was "too many crooks." Too many crooks! Too many crooks! And that ED page is one of those crooks. Origin: Based upon the idiom, "too many cooks spoil the broth," although that idiom means something, whereas this is just an incomplete sentence. trollin' stupid 1. (adjective) Very stupid, in a manner pertaining to trolling. Because that's what you deserve, you God damn womanizing raping... trollin' stupid pickle suited... nigger! Origin: Chris seems to have coined this phrase for his "Boyfriend" lyrics with "trollin'" serving as an intensifier along the lines of "fucking."

U

un-clit 1. (noun) A piercing Chris got on his perrinium as an immitation for a clitoris. It is a short, steel straight piece with steel spheres, of which I refer to them as my un-clit. Origin: During his Tomgirl years, Chris was, and still is, very desperate to gain female body traits such as bigger breasts, wider hips, a fully functioning vagina, etc. In order to get a part of the work done, Chris got a piercing on his taint as a substitute of a clitoris, showing more of Chris' limited knowledge of female anatomy. uncouth 1. (adjective) "lacking good manners". And it was ignored by you that Talulah Bankhead coined the term for Tabitha, you Uncouth Twat. Origin: Chris most likely picked up this word from an MLP episode, where Applebloom and Applejack are talking about what the word "uncouth" means. unto 1. (preposition) Archaic or poetic form of the word "to". Now that it has been made fully clear to me, I am now able to devote myself fully unto you, Julie. I am very devastated, due to my SHATTERED HEART that XXXXX caused unto me!. Origin: Another one of Chris's autistic ways of sounding smart, possibly in imitation of the Bible. (c.f. Do unto others...) Chris uses this form more frequently than most English speakers of the 21st Century should, even when it sounds unwieldy.

X
X2-checking
1. (verb) Double Checking Just X2-checking if you got the drawing I left you. Origin: Comes from x2 meaning times two, which means double to Chris.

Y
y'all
1. (pronoun) indicating second person plural. "Y'all are free to stay here in one or so of their bedrooms for free, and y'all get fed too. Consider this a second chance for a good life which Christian offers to y'all; seek good employment after y'all get your strength rebuilt. ... I'll go check y'all in, then I have to finish saving the world." It would be appreciated if y'all can book the flight for me, because I'm unsure about my family's current financial status, and my social's being saved for my own bills." Origin: Derived from "you all", originating from the dialect of the Southern United States (and found in black communities outside the South). Often considered substandard English, Chris even uses this in formal written situations. Also overused in the comic to the point of absurdity.
y'all should know me by now
1. (phrase) An introduction to complete strangers. Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, back on March 17th, 2000. Origin: His second message on YouTube, addressed to the ED trolls. He would use it several more times after this, possibly making this into his tagline. The introduction is made under the assumption that Chris is already well-known. young at heart 1. (noun, attributive) An individual with childlike characteristics; a childish person. I am Young at Heart; a concept I have kept within myself since childhood. We, the Young at heart stand alongside our Liked and Cared others. Origin: Chris can't seem to tell the difference between being a child at heart, and being childish. In his mind, people who are considered childish actually lead a more exciting life, since he believes that more childlike people are willing to show off their kindness and are generally more eccentric. In reality, adults who are "young at heart" generally have a somewhat innocent outlook of life and are generally interested in things considered suitable for children, yet understand their responsibilities as adults.

Z

zap to the extreme 1. (phrase) Go out and be brave. Go! Sonichu! Go out and zap to the extreme! Now everyone stay green and go out and zap to the extr-r-r-r-r-eme. Have a lovely day. Origin: This phrase is first used on the cover of Sonichu 0, where Chris' mary sue character tells Sonichu to "zap to the extreme" as if Chris and Sonichu were in a bona fide Pokémon tournament. Chris would then end up using this phrase time and again, usually completely out of context of its original meaning.