Catherine

Ongoing The things described in this article are still happening, or are still being looked into. As a result, it may be subject to frequent change, and the information provided may not be entirely reliable.

Background

Catherine Sorrentino was, according to Chris, his latest sweetheart. Little is known about her personally, only that she isn't real and admires trolls lonely, crazy men. She is almost certainly white, and younger than Chris, as his preferences preclude anything else. The two are believed to have met on OKCupid when Christian discovered that "Catie" was a 97% match (which guarantees she's destined to bear his child) and pursued her. Unlike other women in his life, Chris decided to keep the identity of Catherine anonymous during July 2014, safeguarding her discovery by anybody else.

The Relationship

In the summer of 2014, Chris revealed that he had found himself a new sweetheart. The first public signs of her appeared on 29 August, when a member of the CWCki Forums made a post about an autograph and a drawing sent to her by Chris. The drawing, signed 18 August 2014, contained a note in the back in which Chris claimed to have a girlfriend. On 31 August 2014 Chris claimed on Facebook to have had a date with his girlfriend on that day while wearing a Britney Spears perfume. On the same day he also changed his Facebook relationship status from "single" to "in a relationship". According to the status change the relationship began on 9 July 2014.

On 2 September 2014, Chris tried to strong-arm Catherine into committing to him by sending her his vows, showing that Chris wanted to be in a relationship with Catherine, how he's entitled to be in a valid relationship with a sweetheart and how depressed he was.

On 5 September 2014 Chris used Facebook to tell his eBay customers that the commissions they have ordered will be delayed due to Chris being busy with his girlfriend.

On 11 September, Chris posted this Facebook status:

I want to make something very clear. My Girlfriend and Sweetheart is Very Real; she is NOT a Hooker or Prostitute. And I certainly am Not spending money on Hookers or Prostitutes. Although I sincerely do feel sorry for them all and having to do what they do for a living. My Mother and I do have our own expenses, NOT DIGITALLY RELATED, that we are paying off, and the minimums are growing steep. And my mother still needs her dental work, and we do enjoy eating good food like most everyone, including You! Please Remember and Respect that about us, about most everyone, and about Yourself!

During the start of October 2014 Chris sent his master copy of the newest CD he'd made to his sweetheart Catherine, but little did he know a thief would acquire the CD, and post it on the CWCki Forums for the world to see. To the CD thief's surprise the CD had information pertaining to the anonymous sweetheart's name but tragically not her appearance.

On 20 September, Chris began with his usual displays of sycophancy, making a CD for his beloved, that - much like one he once made for Cole - has everything to do with himself and nothing do with her.

In November, however, it was later revealed on the CWCki Forums that Catherine really was just a troll.

The Date

Catherine has survived to tell her harrowing tale of going on a date with the big CWC.

I approached the first date with Chris like most people approach online dating, you just set up some lunch or coffee date or some shit and see if you can tolerate one another without the computer screen. Except that I knew I was going to have to hand-wave and tolerate an awful lot of crazy shit, most of the early Catie interactions online were a lot like any budding online friendship via a dating site. When I started out, it was entirely on my own with no involvement from Christorical figures and trolls. I didn't expect to get anywhere. Most would-be trolls don't. So there was no plan for an irl meeting since I'm too chicken to go it alone. When I got advice/help from other Christorians, that's when we put the idea together for a date. I think I did refer to it as a "lunch date" or something like that, but it was the same routine I've gone though from online dating before. I tried to keep the Catie interactions as normal as possible, as weird as that probably sounds. Chris wanted to spend an entire day together, go bra-shopping at Target with him, wanted me to spend the night and watch movies with him, even asked me what I like for breakfast so he could buy it. It would have been kind of nice behaviour if it weren't the first time he was going to meet this woman. I told him a few times that I wasn't going to spend the night with him, but he persisted in believing I would. It took place the last weekend in August because it took a while to coordinate. By then, Chris had been chatting with "Catie" for about four weeks. My "Cousin Al" came with me so I wouldn't be alone with Chris at Applebee's. It was set for like 2pm or something but Chris told me he always likes to be half an hour early for dates (all two of the ones he's had in his life?), so WE had to be there early so we could get there first. This is a rundown of the date itself from right after: 12:45pm: Arrived in Charlottesville. We knew Chris would be early since he said he was "always early for dates" though he's had all of like three dates in his life including this one. Took a few mins to adjust before going in and getting a seat. Faced the door so wE could see him coming. 1.10pm: VISUAL CONTACT ESTABLISHED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Al spotted him first in the car park, said, "It's either Chris or an ugly old woman." He looked right at us and I waved, and he sorta waved back, but got seated separately because autism. He was two booths down. I bit the bullet and went over. He wanted me to use some shitty-ass stupid pickup line, "What's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?" But I just asked if he was Christian. He all but leaped up and squawked, "CATHERINE! YOU'RE HERE!" Then he side hugged me before I could employ evasive tactics and I led him to our table. The look on the waitress's face was priceless. She may need serious therapy after this. Chris was wearing a red T-shirt and grey undershirt, his "kilt" (really some old lady style plaid skirt to the calf) with turquoise tights, and grotty sneakers. I hoped he would wear high heels, since he said he likes wearing them. His hair looked like straw, probably from the bleach he used to use, and he had a silver hairband and green earrings. He had on blue eyeshadow and purple eyeliner and red lipstick that appear to have been applied by someone with advanced Parkinson's. He smelled very strongly of what we later found out was that Brittany Spears purfume. He shook Al's hand and used hand sanitizer. He seemed genuinely amazed I was even there. 1.30 - 3.30pm: The date went really well. Chris had some trouble with volume control when we talked about Jerkops and we asked a lot about his conspiracy theories. He thinks Snyder bribed the police to beat him up and ran into their car himself and there are still trolls making it impossible for him to get work. We pressed him for details on his corruption conspiracies because we wanted to see how depraved they were, under the pretense that he could sue for millions. But after he couldnt come up with good answers he stress sighed, and we changed the subject. We asked after Barb's teeth. She has really bad cavities apparently. The rental is secured through November, according to Chris. Chris expects Catie to move into 14BC with him and Barb. He had previously expressed willingness to move to [another town in Virginia] with Catie, but he's either changed his mind or forgotten or both. Chris thinks Barb could handle little kids in the house too, when Al asked how he would have a family living with his mother. Chris thinks Barb would be a great babysitter and caretaker, so I guess there goes Chris's plans to be a House Husband. He kept trying to hold my hand so I negotiated lunch like a t-Rex with strumpy little arms. Then he tried footsie under the table. And he stared at my tits a lot. I kept hoping Cousin Al would say something but he never did. In retrospect I should've called him out on it. Barb's family apparently also think Barb is a useless drunken whore too. (Note: a few days after the meeting, Chris told me that when Barb was young, she aggressively went after her sister's husband or fiance. I think it might have been Cousin Harriet's husband, Tom. Anyway, the family concluded that Barb is a shitty person and pretty much wrote her off, except Aunt Corina for some reason. Tom and Harriet still occasionally exchange pleasantries with Barb, but won't let her visit or even tell her their address.) Chris now tips 15%; I gave the waitress all my singles and wrote "I am so sorry you had to see that, you're a trooper!" on the check. 3.30pm: We were going to escape to the "mechanic" where Catie's car was, but Chrissy wanted to follow us. When he offered to show us 14BC, we took him upon it. We followed him even though Al knew where we were going. Chris seriously drives like my demented old grandma who doesn't have a license anymore because she kept going the wrong way up one way streets. Chris said, "This isn't how I imagined bringing a girl home!" The place is.... Bad. Much smaller than I thought it would be, too. Its overgrown and there is broken glass everywhere. Everywhere you look there's STUFF, all garbage. Bob's old workshop is full of rubbish. His greenhouse is doing slightly better but not much. There's an early 90s Cadillac in the yard covered in plant growth that hasn't been moved since the fire, they want to sell it and expect $2000 - $5000 for it. Al expressed interest in buying some of Bob's records and chris was pretty happy about that. More Lego money!! 4pm: We go to the rental. It is literally stacked to the ceiling with stuff in places, no exaggeration. Chris occupies both upstairs rooms, one is full of Lego (including melted, warped fire damaged Lego, a lot of it), and the other has his same grotty bedding from the old house. He keeps a pic of Catie on his nightstand and practices kisses on it. I should have told him that was creepy as hell but at the time I was just way too stunned that he even had it there. He introduced me to Bob via an old picture. He kept putting his arm around me and getting creepy too close so I kept moving around and fake sneezing. I thought it was because he's creepy, Al thinks it's his autism, but it's likely both. Funnily enough he mentioned earlier that his experiences with Megan taught him NOT to do that touchy creepy thing. He was bragging about it. We looked at his yearbooks. Physically handled them. He has two from his Seinor Year. They smell smoke damaged but aren't too bad. I never found out why he has two yearbooks, I think he said Barb gave him an order form and Bob also did. Nobody signed either, Chris seemed surprised at the suggestion that people sign yearbooks at all. Barb was actually very pleasant. But I know abusive people: the mask of normalcy is their cover. She said I was very pretty and we chatted about family history and Cole nearly dying of a sinus infection when he was nineteen. Barb thinks the insurance agent hates her because she is "too smart" for them and too shrewd, rather than being a cantankerous old harpy. The Chandler's pets pee and shit in the house on newspaper because they're too lazy to take them for walkies. The dogs are untrained, hate strangers, and are at least twenty pounds overweight. Their bellies all but drag on the floor. One nearly bit me when I offered to let it smell me. When we made our escape, Chris said, "You asked what a girl like me was doing in a place like this?" (No Chris!!) "Well I'm waiting for the sweetest most honest woman in my life!" And put his arm around me to kiss me so I sneezed again to get him to back off. I waved at him when we got into the car and he still thinks I blew him a kiss. He gave me a goodie bag of shit, mostly My Little Pony related. There were the two pictures he drew of me, and the CD. There was an MLP iPhone case because he also wanted to take me shopping for an iPhone to put on his plan so he could call me as much as he wanted. I turned him down but he said I could regift it. No clue what happened to it at this point.

How Chris screwed up so soon

On 28 September, Catherine and Chris had recently had a dispute over Chris's financial situation. To make matters worse for our hero, Catherine visited New York for her friend's bachelorette party, leaving Chris lonesome and frustrated. During this visit Catherine went on a sail boat ride with a man named Colin. Catherine viewed her relationship with Chris as an open one but Chris didn't view it that way, and confessedly insulted Colin about going on that sail boat ride with her. Catherine then received word about Chris's outburst in front of Colin and chewed Chris out for it. Chris for the first time in a long time caught a heartache, because he acted like a sleazebag towards Colin. On 4 October he proceeded to upload a video where he apologizes for how he acted. In the description he states he will "become a better Lesbian Transgender Sweetheart and Partner".

I Love You, Catherine
Click to load content
Search for video	YouTube, archive
Stardate	4 October 2014
Subject Matter	Galpals Love
Performance Style	Reason Reason, Tragedy Tragedy
Saga	Tomgirl Tomgirl, Catherine Catherine
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
previous Hello, my sweety baby

Leaked Information

Catherine (and others) provided ample information from Christian during 2014.

“	Yes, we could be Gal Pals, but you Have to also realize that I still have the Ugly Growth that if we were in bed, you could enjoy this near seven incher damn cock!	”
This is literally what Chris e-mailed to Catherine.

Chris sent Catherine the following photos in an attempt to moisten her.

• 
• 

  Lesbians everywhere, hold your orgasms!

• 

Between 16 and 18 September, Christian assured Catherine he no longer has crushes on his gal pals.

Subject: Unknown Date: 16 - 18 September 2014 From: Christian To: Catherine Rebeckah forwarded your concerns to me. I assure and promise to you, Catherine: I did not have a crush on Tiffany at all during High School. The only time that would be considered contrary was at the Seinor Prom. No one had asked me to dance, and I went there with my mom. Tiffany asked me to dance with her; it was good. But with the learning of the set up arrangement last year, and upon recollection and reflection, that was probably a set up arrangement as well. My High School crush was Kellie Andes. But then I had heard a rumor near graduation about her going outwith some other dude. And I lost touch. I was moreover not over the Friendships of ALL of my High School Gal Pals: Tiffany [x], Kellie [x], Sarah [x], Molly [x] (who is still a friend, and on my Facebook Friends List), and Miranda [x] (who I still have never found anywhere online, so she is undecided). Aside from Kellie, I did not have the deeper feelings for any of my gal pals, but I still was close with them, I cared about them as my friends, and I definitely felt comfortable around them. Seriously, I was totally Naive on the subject of Dating throughout High School, even though I had a sexual education class. Which led me to my later idea of encouraging Dating Education Classes alongside Sexual Education in High School. Anyway, Kelly blocked me on Facebook a few years ago, and l have gotten over her well over a decade ago. And last August to October, while I was totally on getting the Class of 2000 Reunion going on the 15th year, since the ten year reunion did not work out. I also built the original Lego High School building, before the fire last January, which melted the top portion and about the back walls of the building. I still am glad I rebuilt it with renewed dedication to Manchester High. When I was contacting as many classmates as I could last year, I talked with Sarah Bevel, and eventually, She was the one in Mid-October who totally devastated my High School Memories by being the first to tell me that their friendships with me were a set up that occurred between my father and the principle. I became More VERY Upset and Sad! sigh And with the bullying from Sarah and Tiffany since then, I really wanted to know Why the hell they hate me for other than no reason. I was mostly over all of that before you found me on OKCupid. And then, just recently when I was messaged the link to Tiffany's Facebook. Yeah. So anyway, while I am feeling more crestfallen about that, I am more into the relationship between you and me, Catherine. You continue to care about and love me; as I still do for you too. That matters a lot more to me. You do not have anything to worry about here, my TomBi! Sent from my iPhone Stay Safe, Christian W. Chandler

Pictures of the "Relationship Vow" card by Chris were leaked, showing Chris's vow to Catherine for their Relationship as Sweethearts, Soul-Mates and Partners.

• 
• 
• 

Transcription

from Christian Weston Chandler 9/2/2014 to Catherine My Vows to Catherine for our Relationship as Sweethearts, Soul-Mates and Partners. I, Christian Weston Chandler, of sound mind and body, to Catherine With this (my Class) Ring, I take thee, Catherine, to be my Sweetheart, Lover and Girlfriend, in our relationship with mutual loyalty, devotion, trust and companionship. And I solemnly Vow... -to maintain respect for you as my partner. -to remain a good, loyal, honest and supportive partner to you. -to keep any and all information about you, sensitive and whatever else, secret and Strictly Confidential between the two of us alone, unless you specifically specify such a detail to be shared with another trusted person in our lives. -to fully maintain honesty and loylty (sic) to you at all times, now and forever. Even when and if I should feel need for a break, or to find fun with anyone else, -I vow to inform you of such times and with who, and all other details. of such. -to keep you topmost on my heart and soul (alongside my mother, who remains of my utmost loyalties, honesty and such that goes in the mother-child relationship, respectfully), and all relate priorities as well. -to remain (inserted: emotionally and mentally) open to you forever! -to be fully open for your emotions, feelings, concerns, ideas, opinions and most everything else therein. -to be supportive to and for you as best of my abilities as possible, as well as offering my own constructive thoughts, deeds and actions to honestly and hopefully turn out for the better for you. -to add more Vows to this list as we continue on with our relationship as they come about and when they come about.

On 17 December, more info were leaked: his apology letters he wrote to Fashion Square Mall, Wal-Mart and Mary Lee Walsh and a never before seen Christmas video in 2004 which was from the Director's Cut version of his Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) DVD.

The End

“	I am feeling sad. While she still wants to be friends, Catie just told me she does not want to be in a relationship with me; essentially dumping me.	”
Chris confirmed in an e-mail that he and "Catherine" are no longer together.

On 5 November 2014, it was revealed on a CWCki Forums thread that Catherine, like sweethearts past, was created by trolls; the relationship was non-existent.

5 days later, Chris confirmed in an e-mail to Renee that they are no longer together. However, it remains unknown whether Chris knows that Catherine doesn't exist at all.

See Also

• Catherine E-mails