Chris and the law

Chris aways keeps an eye out for criminal scum who would dare steal Sonichu.

Laws are rules established by a society to protect its members and ensure the orderly function of society. Their observance is usually maintained by law enforcement and penalties are placed on those who disobey the laws.

For Chris, however, these just serve as another deterrent in his endless quest for china.

Understanding

“	I have been giving him reasons since the police came in June of 2008, and nothing has sunken into that clown head of his.	”
Michael Snyder

Brutality- Godmode!Chris's solution to Law Enforcement.

Like his grip on reality, Chris's understanding of the law is uneasy at best, and dangerously naïve at worst. He regularly threatens trolls with legal action, and makes no distinction in severity between a troll threatening violence against Chris and a troll uploading a harmless picture of Rosechu with a pickle to the Internet. As a matter of fact, Chris himself is prone to making extremely violent threats, such as threatening to murder Vivian and her entire family because of the audiobooks. He's done everything from calling the police to convincing his father to write to then-President Bush in an attempt to get rid of his Encyclopedia Dramatica page. He has even attempted (poorly) to impersonate the President in a hilarious attempt to convince the trolls at ED to take down his page, and has attempted to contact current President Obama to stop people from posting gay ads. Chris also believes that the laws in CWCville and the laws stated in Sonichu should be enforced in real life.

Chris himself doesn't have much respect for laws and rules, at least when their enforcement inconveniences him. During his time at Target he didn't see anything wrong with exploiting the free refill policy and loitering for hours at a time in a privately-owned establishment while harassing female customers and apparently soliciting sex. Chris feels that his emotional state entirely justifies his actions at times, stating in Vivitheg's AIM chat that he should be excused for disturbing the peace by literally shouting "NOOOOOOO!" loudly in the middle of a crowded mall.

Self-contradictory to a fault, though, Chris is happy to meticulously follow some laws while ignoring others at the same time. In Sonichu Special 4, his cartoon avatar makes a point of obeying the speed limit... while on his way to confront Liquid Chris and commit assault with a deadly weapon upon him. Any intelligent and decent person could tell you which of these laws is more important, but Chris is neither intelligent nor decent. In a May 2010 video, Chris states that he believes a man who brutally beat his girlfriend to death with his bare hands deserved twenty years in prison for his crimes, which is just twice the penalty he wants for smoking.

In addition, Chris has very little respect for those who enforce the law:

“	Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has.” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.	”
Excerpt from Chris's diary

The above quote pretty much defines Chris's attitude towards law enforcement officials. He feels that it is completely appropriate to flip off, insult, and lie to people who are simply doing their jobs. And, of course, as any rational person (i.e. anyone who's not Chris) would understand, running away from law enforcement officials is a seriously bad idea. Chris is truly a rebel without a cause or effect.

The correspondence with Jackie revealed that in the trial on the Target incident, Chris thought that his work with the Pokémon TCG League let him off the hook. In reality, the court probably acquitted him either on a technicality or insufficient evidence. Chris probably mentioned the volunteer work because he believed a person's merits, no matter how unrelated, would automatically make one innocent of all charges. It is also telling that he recounted the charge as "Soliciting", whereas the actual charge was "Disorderly Conduct"; he feels that he was only persecuted because of his Love Quest efforts, and not because he was tard raging.

Legal troubles

The following is a list of incident Chris had with the law. This list may not be complete; in a telephone conversation with Ivy in 2009, Bob told her that Chris had in the past six or seven incidents with the law, and yet this article lists only three incidents that precede 2010.

2004

On 11 September 2004, Chris was detained at Charlottesville Fashion Square for loitering, and continually arguing with the staff over a number of months. The incident is depicted in Sub-Episode 1. Chris was banned from returning to the mall on his own and without his parents' company. However, it appears that this ban was lifted or ignored soon afterward.

2005

On 20 July 2005, Chris was charged with disorderly conduct and trespassing at Target, as depicted in Sub-Episode 7 and Sub-Episode 8. After two hearings, prosecutors chose to drop the case and Chris was not punished.

Five days later, Chris caused an auto accident when he followed another car too closely and rear-ended it. This went to court on 12 September 2005. He was fined $30 and had to pay $56 in court costs.

2010

Chris's various run-ins at The GAMe PLACe have resulted in the cops being called on him a couple times. At least once after Chris called in his parents after he was initially banned from the location and tried to weasel his way back in, and again when he trespassed on the property, though he wasn't charged with anything on either occasion.

On 4 June 2010, Chris made yet another pilgrimage to The GAMe PLACe. Chris was armed with his camera, and while Mike was concerned that Chris wanted pictures of his daughter for disturbing reasons, Chris maintains that he merely wanted a picture of Mike for use as a dartboard. Still disturbing, but in entirely different ways. Chris was caught in the parking lot despite trying to run away, and was questioned by the police, who made him delete the pictures he had taken, and basically told him to quit his shit. Chris made his 6 June 2010 video in response to these events.

2011

In a May 2011 Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post, Chris said that he has begun to use the ladies' restroom at his local mall while dressed in drag; he recounts an incident in which "a woman complains and tattles on me, and a stereotypical Brute male shouts me out. I felt embarassed. When in skirt, I am still gonna go to the Ladies, because there is no goin' back for me." This supposed brute male may or may not have been with mall security.

In his three new videos posted after 8-month-long hiatus from YouTube he tries to do something which some viewers of The Chandler Show believe to be blackmail. Chris admitted it by typing word blackmail in tags for last of them; however trolls hoping for a lawsuit saga shouldn't get their hopes up, because it's unlikely any of the trolls threatened by it would want to report him, given that they've all been trying to get him back onto the internet for months and wouldn't want to drive him off again. Not to mention Chris probably doesn't have anything on them at all. Note that under Virginia law, his demands are more likely to be considered extortion (still a class five felony) rather than blackmail.

In the same video, Chris also point blank accused Michael Snyder of molesting his own daughter, all while admitting that he doesn't have any concrete proof of his allegation. Given how prone he is to accusing others of slandering him (aka pointing out his bad qualities that are extremely evident to everyone but Chris), Chris's accusations are very hypocritical. If Michael Snyder did want to sue Chris in civil court, he would indeed have a case against him as Chris's allegations are textbook defamation. However, it's questionable what Snyder would win in litigation, aside from a PS3, numerous children's toys and the five or so dollars in Chris's bank account.

On 28 October 2011, Chris ended up in the worst possible scenario, netting a felony charge and two misdemeanors in what appears to be a third attempt to enter the GAMe PLACe. It appears that the Virginia justice system had finally run out of patience.

As a direct result of his October 28 run in with Michael Snyder, Chris had found both himself and his mother on the receiving end of a civil suit. Having been sentenced to community service and put under a probation, and being charged with paying Snyder's medical bills, this may very well have been the first time that he has felt ramifications for his accusations and threats. However, it is much more likely that he simply doesn't care, or still feels as if he were the real victim in all of this.

2012

On 4 February 2012, it was revealed on his Facebook that Chris no longer has respect for any sort of law enforcement after the events of 28 October 2011, officially deeming everyone who upholds the law a Jerkop. At the same time, he revealed another encounter with the boys in blue that day. As he attempted to pass out fliers while at the mall, encouraging others to stay away from the Game Place, two Jerkops (or as Chris puts it, "a Jerkop and an accomplice") approach him. Despite the officers simply wanting to talk to him and letting him know he wasn't in any trouble, Chris's paranoia kicked in and he ran. While the story Chris gives seem to hint that the officers just wanted to tell him to knock off the distribution of fliers, Chris believed otherwise, citing that one of them called out his name and making him think they wanted to post another encounter with him on the Internet. He escaped by diving into a Mitsubishi, most likely replacing the dying piece of scrap that is Son-Chu, and driving off.

On the 12th April, Chris announced the loss of his virginity, giving off strong hints that he had slept with a hired prostitute. He all but confirmed this on the 1st May, when he said that he 'found her on the backpage', a website that solicits prostitutes. In the state of Virginia, this constitutes a Class 1 Misdeameanor and is therefore illegal. It is unknown whether or not Chris is aware of this, but it's very likely that if he is, he simply doesn't care.

On 28 April 2012, Chris revealed another incident in the mall. Prior to his Facebook note on 30 March 2012, Chris got into a shouting match with a troll on his cell phone at the mall. The shouting did not go unnoticed, and Chris ran for it once security was called in. On 25 April, Chris received a ban from the mall, though it is unknown if it was for that incident or an incident that happened between those two dates.

On 10 July 2012, Chris was arraigned in court for the 28 October 2011 incident. After calling Snyder a "thieving liar" in the courtroom, Chris was sentenced to community service and is under a one-year probation. If he does not comply, he will go to jail. He was also ordered to pay Snyder's medical bills.

2013

In September 2013, Chris committed an act of vandalism (an arrestable offense) by defacing an XBox One display at a Wal-Mart, but got off easy by merely just being banned from the store. Given his furious reaction to this and his track record with a certain store owner who also did the same, it remains to be seen if Chris would follow up on his threat to have his revenge. Also, much like his tantrum at the Fashion Square Mall in 2005, Chris was also confronted by a jerkop at a local restaurant after scratching a woman's car with his, and screaming out loud in public. Chris claimed he was cursing God for all his misfortune recently.

2014

On 29 March 2014, a report surfaced on the CWCki Forums saying that earlier that month Chris has been spotted trying to steal merchandise from Best Buy. The next day Chris denied the truthfulness of the report, but Kim confirmed that the attempted shoplifting had indeed occurred.

Chris's parents and law

It's not hard to figure out why Chris thinks the law should serve him and him alone. His parents, too, have the same problem.

• When Chris was thrown out of the Cub Scouts after an unknown incident, his parents attempted to sue the Boy Scouts of America for discrimination.
• When Chris threw a tantrum that required him to be restrained, Bob attempted to sue the school.
• When Mimms and Lucas took a picture of Chris and uploaded it to the Internet, Chris's parents threatened them with legal action (but never followed through).
• When Snorlax thought she had indigestion (actually colitis), she acted like she was going to sue the Chinese place the food came from. When the doctor actually explained what happened, she dropped the subject.
• Chris inherited his love of running from problems - when his parents had their absurd case against Greene County used against them, their first reaction was to run to another county.
• When Alec called the Chandler household posing as GAMe PLACe employee Matthew Noble, they claimed that taking pictures of somebody without their knowledge or consent was "not illegal." It is ironic, given that they threatened to sue Mimms and Lucas for exactly the same thing.
• During that same call, Bob seems to completely disregard the concept that an individual can be barred from private property, saying, "it's a business place," as though that has any more bearing on the law and how it affects his son than, say, the color of the store's walls.
• On 28 October 2011, Barb was arrested for not only fleeing the scene of an accident, but also felony assault on a police officer, a crime that a remotely sensible person would never commit due to the serious consequences attached to it (mandatory minimum of six months' imprisonment on conviction); however, the recent death of her husband, her age, ill-health and dependent son probably helped earn her clemency.
• On 10 July 2012, Barb was arraigned in court for her participation in the 28 October 2011 incident. She was sentenced to community service and is under a two year probation.

Chris's ORIGINAL and OFFICIAL laws

Where Chris's ORIGINAL and OFFICIAL laws come from.

As he believes the police in real life are corrupt and sees them in the same light as he sees the jerkops in his comic, Chris has his own spin on the law. The penalties for drinking, smoking and internet harassment involve physical violence including a "Kick in the Teeth" which Chris portrays as a punch in the first and only of his supposed series of Q&A videos.

On 31 December 2009, Chris presented a nice babble about a law he wants made to prevent Jack Thaddeus from using adspace he paid for.

“	I Have The Instinct, and I Have Already Snail-Mailed President Barack Obama on how this sort of bad advertisement is going on and how it is Wrong and should be made Illegal. On HOW if the Main Captain does not WANT or IS OFFENDED with the listed Ads within his own Website or Works, REGARDLESS of who controls the AdSpace, WOULD REMOVE THOSE ADS or face JAILTIME. And the F.B.I. would be FULLY INVOLVED in all this, and THEY have the Power, Tools and Balls to seek, hunt down and bring in the Individual Internet Trolls and Ad-Spammers.	”
Chris, Thinking he's important

Yes, you heard it right. Chris wants to ask the President of the United States to make advertisements he doesn't like illegal. From a practical standpoint, CWCipedia is the only wiki that has a "Main Captain." This "Main Captain" does literally nothing to run or maintain the site at all. Furthermore, if someone paid for adspace, the host that received the money must allow the purchasing party to use said adspace for the allotted time, no matter what they advertise, or the host faces legal penalties. And last but not least, the President has better things to do than slap laws on wikis. It also escapes Chris's mind that the President doesn't make laws. He would have had a better chance if he had mailed his congressman. He of course, will never bother.

This attitude is also reflected on his relationship with Mary Lee Walsh. Years ago, she interrupted Chris in what looked like soliciting for sex. Hilarity ensued and Chris received a well-deserved time-out for his antics. Fast-forward in 2009 when Chris, out of the blue decides to make peace. He went to her office and left her a "Framed Hand-Drawn Apology" on her doorstep. Knowing Chris's attitude, she filled a trespassing notice. In pure autistic logic, Chris said that since he didn't read the letter and returned it to the sender, he's not liable.

Mailbag 55 posits a few more original laws: one, that it should be illegal for men to ever show their bare chest (because, according to Chris, no one in the entire world ever wants to see a man's bare chest, disregarding women, gay men and boxing enthusiasts), and two he wants to force all women in any kind of relationship to wear rings, thus defeating all symbolism and significance of them.

Due to Chris being forced away from the Internet, Chris began to formulate a new law, the "Bill for Anti Online Bad-Mouthing," starting with his second Flipnote, Don'tGetTrolled!. What this entails is unknown, but by the sounds if it, he wishes for a law where no one can ever speak up against anyone in a negative tone, thus allowing Chris to continue to have his e-peen stroked while the trolls can't touch him. While there have been laws that punish those that lead to others being harmed via the Internet, the Bill for Anti Online Bad-Mouthing is one of the most ridiculous ideas ever, as it leads to a complete and utter smashing of the Bill of Rights, specifically Freedom of Speech.

TL;DR: Chris ignores the law when it's inconvenient, yet expects it to save the day when the Autism card doesn't work.

In the comic

Chris's understanding of the law in his comics goes so far as to been seen as a mixture of childish tendencies and, some might say, authoritarianism. In CWCville, Chris has banned a number of things in his city. Smoking or drinking alcohol would lead one to be either sentenced to ten years in prison or a much more lenient US$1,500 fine (although, as CWCville uses C-Quarters and W-Quarters for currency, it's not clear why fines are levied in US dollars). Indeed, importing tobacco or alcohol is the most serious crime in the city, apparently receiving a greater punishment than murder or rape. However, it should be noted that Chris repealed the law against alcohol in June 2009.

The Rosechus tend to fight for women's rights, that is to say, the ability to strip naked whenever and wherever they want to, not to mention the fact that full legal rights for women are already established across the US, suggesting that Chris (or one of his predecessors) has imposed discriminating laws against women in CWCville.

Chris has been seen as a do-nothing Mayor, preferring to have his secretary do all the work (as per his thoughts on women) while he goes off on another one of his sweetheart searches. He has mandated "Dating Education" classes for students so that they can learn to go on dates, as well as how to "stay straight."

Actual police officers did not appear until quite late and even then, they did nothing whatsoever, giving the impression that Chris and his Pokémon abominations are the only thing standing between peace and eternal virgins with rage. However, Sonichu #9 seems to reveal that there are three sets of "other" protectors: a (possibly) nondescript police force (distinct from Mary Lee Walsh's jerkops), as well as his own team of Power Rangers and a team of Transformers.

“	Is CWCville under Martial Law?	”
Jack Thaddeus citing the truth as he sees it

It gets even scarier. In conversation with Jack Thaddeus, he revealed that CWCville is the home of a paramilitary force equipped with tanks which he uses as a "Police Force", and all his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon enjoy immunity from prosecution and are above the law. If we add all this to the fact that there are no free elections in CWCville, this shows us the city in the hands of an insane, tyrannical dictator running it with an iron fist, and backed with super-powered goons who are free to do any atrocity with impunity. According to Chris, Magi-Chan mentally scans the city perimeters for any sexual acts, and reports any homosexual activity to the authorities. The participants are then "tried and fined HEAVILY; $500 or 50 Hours of Community Service." Apparently in CWCville, the Fourth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution does not apply in matters of personal sexual choice, and neither does the U.S. Supreme Court ruling finding sodomy laws to be unconstitutional.

In a strange set of double standards, Chris has been shown to injure, kill, or damage people and property outside of CWCVille. Sonichu #10 has shown no less than four grievous acts upon others: the destruction of the 4-cent garbage building, the murder of over one hundred alleged "trolls" in said destruction, breaking and entering, and destroying Internet files and property. There was no evidence to suggest that this act of mass murder was even investigated by the authorities, and the comic portrays this act of terrorism as Chris heroically defeating a gang of criminals.

Following the death of Simonla, the culprits (Alec, Mao, Sean and Evan) are subjected to a show trial, and given no defense attorney by the state (violating the Sixth Amendment) forcing Sean to act as their lawyer despite being high as a kite. There is no solid evidence presented for the murder charge, aside from the Voltorb remote (which the prosecutor never tried to prove belonged to them) and wholly unreliable "psychic evidence" extracted by Magi-Chan. When they're railroaded and found guilty, they're killed by the people they've wronged (read: murdered brutally by cartoon characters), in a gross violation of the Eighth Amendment forbidding cruel and unusual punishment.

Demonstrating Chris's limited understanding of trials (as his knowledge of trials stems purely from television), the kangaroo court integrates both elements of civil and criminal trials. The Asperpedia Four are not only prosecuted for murder by a state attorney, as per a criminal trial, but also charged with defamation of character, libel, and copyright infringement (as well as several charges such as "profanity to the max" that would hold no water in an actual court) by Chris and his cohorts, as per a civil trial. Surely enough, Chris, Sonichu, and Rosechu are sitting in a bench marked "PLAINTIF" [sic]. That both civil and criminal charges are included in one trial not only demonstrates a poor understanding of the courtroom process, but is further proof that Chris considers "slanderous mockeries" and other torts on par with major crimes such as murder and assault. To add to the equation, one cannot be given a death sentence (or any sentence, for that matter) for being guilty in a civil trial, but in the Asperpedia Four trial civil charges are the primary reason for the death sentence. In summary, the CWCville court system is a constitutional nightmare that violates multiple articles and amendments, and has no concept of due process. One must wonder why it is allowed to exist within the borders of the U.S.

tl;dr: Any semblance of law in CWCville exists solely to further the wishes of its tyrannical (and murderous) Mayor.

See also

• Parody
• Jerkop
• Manajerk
• Chris and copyright