Difference between revisions of "Monthly tugboat"

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{{taxpayermoney}}  
{{taxpayermoney}}  
{{quote|'''[[Jackie]]:''' that doesnt make sense. why would God approve you to rip off the government when there are people starving and dying on the streets who genuinely need help<br>
'''Chris:''' he told me that he felt I was not ready to tackle a job yet, but he will bless me with a job when he sees fit. I don't know.<br>
'''Jackie:''' thats not my understanding of how God works|From [[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]].}}


[[Image:Monthly_Tugboat.jpg|thumb|What Chris believes a monthly tugboat is. Your tax dollars at work, gentlemen.]]
{{quote|it's a [[Asperchu|fun story]]. anyway, you know the expression, "Our ship has come in," well that refers to a HUGE one-time amout of money, which can compare to a [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|Luxury Ship that can easily sink]]. and a Tugboat is more reliable, because even though it's smaller, it's built tougher, and it's usually better on time in that sense. so, I refer to my monthly income as a Tugboat, whereas I would refer to say winning the Lottery as a Luxary [sic] Ship. Chalk that idea up to a spot of [[Autism|creative thinking]]. :)|Chris's autistic explanation for his Tugboat<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 12]]</ref>}}


The '''monthly tugboat''' is [[Chris]]'s [[CWCism|euphemism]] for his [[Wikipedia:Social Security Disability Insurance|Social Security Disability Insurance]] payment, which is deposited into his bank account via direct deposit on or about the 3rd of each month.<ref>[http://ssa.gov/pubs/calendar.htm]</ref> Essentially, the U.S. government has a taxpayer-funded program to financially support disabled individuals whose injuries or ailments affect their ability to earn a living wage. Contrary to popular belief, Chris's check isn't a need-based welfare check, nor is it meant to replace a paycheck for someone who is unable to work. Chris's disability check is meant to supplement the money he would receive at a low-paying job (the best he could hold down) and provide him enough money to live on his own{{cite}}. Chris, of course, chooses not to work and mooches off his parents instead, blowing his tugboat on [[video games]]. Unfortunately, this doesn't disqualify him from receiving disability.
[[Image:Thetugboatposter.jpg|thumb|Tugboat, exciting and new!<br>
Come aboard, we're expecting you.]]


Currently, Chris receives $809 each month, with $580 going to his parents for room, board, and to pay toward his credit card debt.<ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]</ref> The rest of it generally goes towards [[List of Chris's video games|video games]], junk food, or [[sex toys|straight up his ass]]. However, $229 per month (about $7.50 per day) is nowhere near enough to satisfy Chris's need for games, porn, [[PlayStation Network]] downloads, a constant supply of [[McDonald's|Chicken McNuggets]], gallons of [[Coke]], and, since the summer of [[2009]], [[alcohol]]. As of [[January 2010]], he owed roughly $3,500 in credit card debt, some on cards of his own and some on cards he stole from his parents. Indeed, according to one of his bank statements,<ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010.jpg]]</ref><ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg]]</ref> at the end of one month he had less than three dollars left in his account. Even more, just by straight spending and no other extra income, he put himself $452.57 in the red.
The '''monthly tugboat''' is [[Chris]]'s [[CWC-isms|euphemism]] for his {{w|Social Security Disability Insurance}} (SSDI) payment, which is deposited into his bank account via direct deposit on or about the 3rd of each month.<ref>[http://ssa.gov/pubs/calendar.htm]</ref> SSDI is part of a U.S. taxpayer-supported program to support financially those whose physical injures or [[Slow-in-the-minds|mental ailments]] prevent them from performing even minimum-wage work. Chris is known to have belonged to this system since at least [[2007]], before he was [[Chris in the media#Something Awful|discovered]] by the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]]. In the [[Father Call]], Chris claimed that his disability check was "a stepping-stone in the right direction of [him] moving out." Given Chris's tendency to waste his free money on [[List of toys|frivolous junk]] rather than put it towards anything that might improve his life, he was probably just telling Matt what he thought he wanted to hear.


Challenged by a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]], Chris claimed that he is not wasting his taxpayer-funded "tugboat", because he is putting that money back into the economy and indirectly paying the tugboats of others. According to Chris's [[Chris and reality|logic]], by purchasing useless commercial goods, he is paying sales tax which the government puts directly back into the hands of the needy.<ref>[[Mailbag 34|Mailbag #34]]</ref> This is a tremendous leap of faulty rationalization, even for Chris, and he fails to elaborate on his shaky economic theories in any detail. If you thought he didn't understand money before, [[Chris and Money|you ain't seen nothing yet]].  
Contrary to popular belief, Chris's check is not need-based, but is awarded on eligibility alone. Most US Americans have to work a decade to qualify.<ref>[https://www.ssa.gov/planners/disability/dqualify10.html Social Security Benefits Planner: How You Qualify]</ref> Chris, on the other hand, has only been employed for six months (three at [[Wendy's]], three in a [[Cutco|pyramid scheme]]). However, [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] earned retirement insurance in his years at General Electric, and Social Security also lets retirees' dependent disabled children get payments, even if they have never worked themselves, so long as they were disabled before turning 22.<ref>[https://www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10026.pdf Benefits for Children with Disabilities], Page 7.</ref> As long as Chris earns less than $1220 a month,<ref>[https://www.ssa.gov/OACT/COLA/sga.html Substantial Gainful Activity]</ref> and stays unmarried (to [[Polyamorous marriage|someone real]], at least) and [[Chris and the law|out of jail]], he will continue to receive his monthly tugboat unimpeded.


Another thing to take into consideration is that while Chris spends a chunk of his social security on American products like McDonald's, Chris spends most of his social security on video games. The problem is his game systems; [[PSP|Sony PSP]], [[Wii|Nintendo DS, Nintendo Wii]], and [[PS3|Sony PS3]], are Japan based companies. Yes, these companies have American bases and a very small amount is produced in the U.S., but the majority is produced, developed and imported from Japan. So the money he spends goes to the retailer, which goes to the employees wages and fixed costs of the retailer's expenses that keep it functioning, which will be possibly be spent in America thus be put into the U.S. economy, the rest will given to the foreign company's employees and fixed costs that keep ''them'' functioning, which will be spent in Japan, thus being put back into Japan's economy. However, if Chris was an [[Hexbox|Xbox]] consumer, the majority of it would be put back into the U.S. economy, as Microsoft's Xbox is a U.S. based company, with a majority of its products being developed and manufactured in the U.S. and a large majority of it employees being Americans. In the same way buying a car from American brands like GM, Ford, and Chrysler, stimulates the U.S. economy, and buying a foreign car like Honda, BMW, and Kia, doesn't and stimulates ''their'' foreign economies, Chris could help the economy by getting over his irrational hatred of Xbox.
In [[2010]], Chris received $809 each month, with $580 going to his parents for room, board, and to pay toward his credit card debt.<ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]</ref> After [[Bob|his father]]'s death in [[September 2011]], Chris's tugboat increased. As of [[2014]], Chris was receiving approximately $1300 a month in welfare money, of which [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] claimed $900 [[Financhu Crisis|to pay for her second mortage]].<ref>[https://imgur.com/a/nstDOAM Chris, via Null, on 13 July 2018]</ref> Chris apparently still receives his tugboat to this day.


[[Image:Autism-costs.jpg|thumb|left|This is true.]]
==Rationale==
[[Image:Monthly Tugboat.jpg|thumb|250px|What Chris believes a monthly tugboat is. Your tax dollars at work, gentlemen.]]
===Chris's economic logic===
Challenged by a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]], Chris claimed that he is not wasting taxpayer funds, because he is putting that money back into the economy and indirectly paying the tugboats of others. According to Chris's [[Chris and reality|logic]], by purchasing useless commercial goods, he is paying sales tax, which the government puts directly back into the hands of the needy.<ref>[[Mailbag 34|Mailbag #34]]</ref> This is irrefutably false; sales taxes go towards state and local governments, but SSDI is funded by ''federal'' '''''payroll''''' tax (FICA), which Chris has never contributed to for all but a few months of his life.


On the advice of [[Bob Chandler|his father]], Chris doesn't get a job, supposedly because the tugboat gives him more money overall. However, Bob is totally wrong. At the time of this writing, minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25, pursuant to federal minimum wage. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180° on his life, get off disability, and begin working a full forty-hour week, his monthly income before taxes and rent payment would be approximately $1,260 USD. This would put Chris's annual income range, before tax, at roughly $15,100. Subtracting what he pays his parents to live in filth, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $9,000 in ''spending'' money, enough for many more sex toys and video games. Contrast this with the $2,748 Chris pulls in annually from the government after paying off his parents.
Another thing to take into consideration is that not all of the money even stays in the U.S. economy. Chris spends quite a bit of his tugboat on imported products. For example, [[Nintendo]] and [[Sony]] are Japanese corporations, and Chris's beloved [[Lego]] is a product of Denmark. These companies do have U.S. bases, and a small amount of R&D occurs stateside. But at the end of the day, most of it occurs overseas, and let's not forget that the majority of Chris's [[toys]], electronics, and other products were most likely made in some sweatshop in [[China]]. In short, a good chunk of the tugboat ends up overseas, so if anything, he's supporting the world economy.  


Even if this weren't enough, the most cursory research reveals that an [[Wikipedia:Social Security Disability Insurance|SSDI]] beneficiary could have earned from $700 a month in the year [[2000]], when Chris was eighteen, to $1,000 a month in [[2010]] without losing a cent of their SSDI payments.<ref>http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/COLA/sga.html</ref> It's clear that Bob's decision to encourage Chris's unemployment comes from negligence, ignorance, blind delusion, or the knowledge that his son is a total [[fail]]ure who can bring nothing but shame on himself and his family. His enabling has caused Chris to miss out on over $100,000 in potential earnings through the end of 2010, which could buy a lot of [[Muscle bra|bras]], [[Sex toys|fake china]], [[My Little Pony|children's toys]], and [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|Lego-covered PS3 accessories]].
Ironically, if Chris bought a [[HEXBox]] earlier (instead of boycotting it until 2017), the majority of money spent on it and on many of its games would be put back into the U.S. economy, as Microsoft is headquartered in Redmond, Washington.


If Bob's motivation comes from the reasonable assumption that Chris could never survive in an real-world workplace environment, of course, one wonders why [[Fridays After Five|he keeps unleashing him to run amok on an unsuspecting public]].
===Earning potential===
On the advice of his late father, Chris has never looked for a job since leaving Wendy's, supposedly because the tugboat gives him more money overall. However, Bob was totally wrong. Since [[2008]], the hourly minimum wage in the Commonwealth of [[Virginia]] has been $7.25, pursuant to federal minimum wage. If Chris were somehow to do a complete 180° on his life, get off disability, and begin working a full 40-hour week, his monthly income before taxes and rent payment would be approximately $1,260 USD. This would put Chris's annual income range, before tax, at roughly $15,100. Subtracting what he pays his parents to live in filth, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $9,000 in ''spending'' money, enough for many more sex toys and video games, in contrast with the $2,748 Chris pulls in annually from the government after paying off his parents. As SSDI payments have been adjusted for inflation over the years, while Virginia's legislation has not, this earning gap has since closed. Despite this, Chris still could have earned $48,600 (or even more, if he were to be promoted or find better work with his new skills) or more over the last decade by working instead of remaining on disability.


In the [[Father Call]], Chris claims that his disability check is "a stepping-stone in the right direction of [him] moving out." Given Chris's tendency to waste his free money on frivolous shit rather than put it towards anything that might improve his life, he was probably just telling Kacey's father what he thought he wanted to hear.
Even if this weren't enough, the most cursory research reveals that a SSDI beneficiary could have earned from $700 a month in the year [[2000]], when Chris was 18, to $1,000 a month in [[2010]] without losing a cent of SSDI payments. As of [[2019]], this limit is about as much as Chris would earn working minimum wage part time.<ref>http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/COLA/sga.html</ref> Social Security also has voluntary programs that would let Chris try working a real job for up to nine months without upsetting his tugboat in the slightest.<ref>[https://choosework.ssa.gov/about/work-incentives/index.html Ticket to Work - Work Incentives]</ref> At best, Bob's decision to encourage Chris's unemployment came from the reasonable assumption that Chris could never survive in a real-world workplace environment. At worst, it was negligence or blind delusion that let Chris to miss out on over $100,000 in potential [[Muscle bra|bras]], faux-[[china]], [[My Little Pony|children's]] [[Transformers|toys]], and [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|PS3 accessories covered in]] [[Lego]] through to the end of [[2010]] and beyond.


Rough calculations and estimations say that if Chris lives into his eighties, given reasonable "cost of living" increases to his tugboat annually, he will receive roughly $1,000,000 over his lifetime from the American taxpayer. In this day and age, that's chump change and he'd amass a larger fortune if he simply got off his ass and got a career; of course, it's [[Chris and Health|extremely unlikely]] that he will live anywhere near that long.
Rough calculations and estimations say that if Chris lives into his 80s, given reasonable "cost of living" increases to his tugboat annually, he will receive roughly $1,000,000 over his lifetime from his countrymen. In this day and age, that's chump change and he'd amass a larger fortune if he simply got off his ass and got a career; of course, it's [[Chris and health|extremely unlikely]] that he will live anywhere near that long.


With the recent US economic downturn and debates over the debt limit, President Obama has [http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/178777/20110712/debt-deal-debt-ceiling-obama-social-security-republicans-democrats.htm[directly threatened Social Security checks]]. Chris is blissfully unaware of the looming threat to his way of life.
==References by Chris==
Chris does not even understand ''which program he is on''. In many emails<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie E-mails 25]]</ref><ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails]]</ref><ref>[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2011-2012]]</ref> and posts<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts]]</ref><ref>[[December 2016 Facebook posts]]</ref> he mistakenly says that he receives {{w|Supplemental Security Income|SSI}}, which is a different welfare program for the poor that has far tighter restrictions and a typically lower payout.  


==References by Chris==
* The earliest known use of the term "monthly tugboat" was in March [[2007]] in Chris's first e-mail to his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]]. When introducing himself, Chris says, "I'm getting by livin' with my folks and a monthly tugboat". He does not actually explain what a "monthly tugboat" is supposed to be.
* The earliest known use of the term "monthly tugboat" was in March [[2007]] in Chris's first e-mail to his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]]. When introducing himself, Chris says, "I'm getting by livin' with my folks and a monthly tugboat." He does not actually explain what a "monthly tugboat" is supposed to be.
* An [[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Adam Stackhouse wins, Chris is a horrible cheater and likes Megan "so much"|e-mail to Megan]] from August 2007 recounts Chris's purchase of ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' with his latest tugboat check.
* An [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Adam_Stackhouse_wins.2C_Chris_is_a_horrible_cheater_and_likes_Megan_.22so_much.22|e-mail to Megan]] from August 2007 recounts Chris's purchase of ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' with his latest tugboat check.
* During the [[Miyamoto Saga]], Chris claimed he was waiting for his tugboat (in an e-mail to "Miyamoto" himself, no less) to fix technical problems with his website.
* During the [[Miyamoto Saga]], Chris claimed he was waiting for his tugboat (in an e-mail to "Miyamoto" himself, no less) to fix technical problems with his website.
* In [[Mumble 1|Mumble #1]], Chris mentions that he'll have to wait for his next tugboat to buy some new content for ''Ape Escape'' on the PSP.
* In [[Mumble 1|Mumble #1]], Chris mentions that he'll have to wait for his next tugboat to buy some new content for ''Ape Escape'' on the PSP.
* In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 4|BlueSpike PSN Chat #4]], Chris tells [[Julie]] that he can't make it to Ohio until his next tugboat comes in.
* In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 4|BlueSpike PSN Chat #4]], Chris tells [[Julie]] that he can't make it to Ohio until his next tugboat comes in.
* Since late 2009, [[Chris]] seemed to have mostly given up the term "tugboat", possibly because of its extensive adoption by trolls in the [[Mumble]] chats, the [[Mailbag]], and elsewhere. In the [[Father Call]], he refers to it as his "monthly income", while in the [[Jackie e-mails]] he simply says he's on Social Security, although he did refer to it once as a "tugboat" in [[Mailbag 34|Mailbag #34]].
* Since late 2009, [[Chris]] seemed to have mostly given up the term "tugboat", possibly because of its extensive adoption by trolls in the [[Mumble]] chats, the [[Mailbag]], and elsewhere. In the [[Father Call]], he refers to it as his "monthly income", while in the [[Jackie e-mails]] he simply says he's on Social Security, although he did refer to it once as a "tugboat" in [[Mailbag 34|Mailbag #34]].
* The [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 12|BlueSpike Skype logs]] shine a light on the origin of the term:
* The [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 12|BlueSpike Skype logs]], quoted at the top of the page shine a light on the origin of the term.
{{quote|it's a [[Random-access humor|fun story]]. anyway, you know the expression, "Our ship has come in," well that refers to a HUGE one-time amout of money, which can compare to a [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|Luxury Ship that can easily sink.]] and a Tugboat is more reliable, because even though it's smaller, it's built tougher, and it's usually better on time in that sense. so, I refer to my monthly income as a Tugboat, whereas I would refer to say winning the Lottery as a Luxary Ship. Chalk that idea up to a spot of [[Things Chris has ripped off|creative]] [[Autism|thinking]]. :)|Chris, demonstrating mastery of metaphor, naval engineering, and analogy.}}
*In one of the [[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie chat logs]], he wrote about the reason he deserves the welfare:
 
In one of the [[Jackie_Chat_7|Jackie chat logs]], he wrote about the reason he deserves the welfare:


{{quotebox|
[7:47 pm] CWC: Originally, I was given that blessing through [[Bob|my father]], on one theory of me NOT being able to do the basics of a job, which I have told you I disagree with fully.<br>
[7:47 pm] CWC: Originally, I was given that blessing through [[Bob|my father]], on one theory of me NOT being able to do the basics of a job, which I have told you I disagree with fully.<br>
[7:48 pm] CWC: Yesterday, I have actually asked [[God]] the question, because all I was coming up with was having deserved it from my [[Stress|trials and tribulations]] in my life.<br>
[7:48 pm] CWC: Yesterday, I have actually asked [[God]] the question, because all I was coming up with was having deserved it from my [[Stress|trials and tribulations]] in my life.<br>
Line 51: Line 52:
[7:50 pm] CWC: I don't know.<br>
[7:50 pm] CWC: I don't know.<br>
[7:50 pm] Jacklyn Romy: thats not my understanding of how God works
[7:50 pm] Jacklyn Romy: thats not my understanding of how God works
}}
{{quote|i mean, are you sure you heard him correctly? no one I know has EVER heard God tell them "hey, just sit back and do nothing, i'll hand you a job and money so you can just play games all day"|Jackie, destroying Chris with sound logic.}}
{{quote|i mean, are you sure you heard him correctly? no one I know has EVER heard God tell them "hey, just sit back and do nothing, i'll hand you a job and money so you can just play games all day"|Jackie, destroying Chris with sound logic.}}


==Sauces==
<!--- Would a new, balanced ==Does Chris deserve his tugboat?== section be appropriate? -->
 
==Possible suspension and return==
{{MentalHospital}}
[[File:Freeasfuck.jpg|thumb|300px|They're making him a [[Lars Call|HOOD LEGEND]].]]
 
Despite run-ins with the law, particularly the [[26 December 2014|GameStop macing incident]], Chris has continued receiving his benefits over the years. However, it was believed that [[2021]] could have changed this: due to his arrest for [[Affair with Mother|incest]], the SSA was eligible to terminate Chris's Social Security benefits since according to their rules, benefits are stopped if a recipient is institutionalized for more than 30 continuous days after being convicted of a crime.<ref>https://www.ssa.gov/reentry/benefits.htm</ref>
 
In [[March 2022]], Chris's tugboat was probably suspended after being sent to [[Western State Hospital]] during his jail stay awaiting trial for [[incest]]. While the SSDI program allows jail inmates to receive benefits as long as they have either not yet been convicted or are sentenced to less than 30 days,<ref>https://www.disability-benefits-help.org/faq/keep-disability-benefits-jail</ref> if the inmate is sent to a mental health institution for more than 30 days because of being deemed Incompetent to Stand Trial, the benefits are suspended (although if an inmate is sent for any other reason, a suspension is not applied).<ref>https://secure.ssa.gov/poms.nsf/lnx/0202607330</ref>
 
[[Praetor]] claimed in [[March 2023]] that Chris's tugboat is still operating, but due to being incarcerated he has been unable to access the funds. Chris was housed at the hospital for 64 days "for treatment of incompete [sic]", so it's unlikely he has been continuing to receive money by that point.
 
That being said, in [[May 2023]], Chris was [[Post-jail sightings (2023)|spotted in public repeatedly]] at various stores, apparently buying a new [[Nintendo Switch]] while at [[Walmart]], and in later months was seen online on [[PSN]] playing a [[PS5]] game and on [[HEXBox#He likes it for real now|Xbox]]. As such, it is currently unknown whether or not the money has come from the group home he is likely staying at, he managed to reactivate his monthly earnings after being released, or if Praetor turned out to be right and his tugboat ''was'' still operating at that time.
 
==References==
<references/>
<references/>


Line 60: Line 77:
* [[Chris and money]]
* [[Chris and money]]


{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Money}}
{{CWC-isms}}
{{CWC-isms}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Latest revision as of 11:16, 3 December 2024

Tugboat.jpg YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK!
The contents of this page have been bought with taxpayer money! 		Social Security Administration seal.png


“ it's a fun story. anyway, you know the expression, "Our ship has come in," well that refers to a HUGE one-time amout of money, which can compare to a Luxury Ship that can easily sink. and a Tugboat is more reliable, because even though it's smaller, it's built tougher, and it's usually better on time in that sense. so, I refer to my monthly income as a Tugboat, whereas I would refer to say winning the Lottery as a Luxary [sic] Ship. Chalk that idea up to a spot of creative thinking. :) ”
Chris's autistic explanation for his Tugboat[1]
Tugboat, exciting and new!
Come aboard, we're expecting you.

The monthly tugboat is Chris's euphemism for his Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) payment, which is deposited into his bank account via direct deposit on or about the 3rd of each month.[2] SSDI is part of a U.S. taxpayer-supported program to support financially those whose physical injures or mental ailments prevent them from performing even minimum-wage work. Chris is known to have belonged to this system since at least 2007, before he was discovered by the Internet. In the Father Call, Chris claimed that his disability check was "a stepping-stone in the right direction of [him] moving out." Given Chris's tendency to waste his free money on frivolous junk rather than put it towards anything that might improve his life, he was probably just telling Matt what he thought he wanted to hear.

Contrary to popular belief, Chris's check is not need-based, but is awarded on eligibility alone. Most US Americans have to work a decade to qualify.[3] Chris, on the other hand, has only been employed for six months (three at Wendy's, three in a pyramid scheme). However, Bob earned retirement insurance in his years at General Electric, and Social Security also lets retirees' dependent disabled children get payments, even if they have never worked themselves, so long as they were disabled before turning 22.[4] As long as Chris earns less than $1220 a month,[5] and stays unmarried (to someone real, at least) and out of jail, he will continue to receive his monthly tugboat unimpeded.

In 2010, Chris received $809 each month, with $580 going to his parents for room, board, and to pay toward his credit card debt.[6][7] After his father's death in September 2011, Chris's tugboat increased. As of 2014, Chris was receiving approximately $1300 a month in welfare money, of which Barb claimed $900 to pay for her second mortage.[8] Chris apparently still receives his tugboat to this day.

Rationale

What Chris believes a monthly tugboat is. Your tax dollars at work, gentlemen.

Chris's economic logic

Challenged by a correspondent in the Mailbag, Chris claimed that he is not wasting taxpayer funds, because he is putting that money back into the economy and indirectly paying the tugboats of others. According to Chris's logic, by purchasing useless commercial goods, he is paying sales tax, which the government puts directly back into the hands of the needy.[9] This is irrefutably false; sales taxes go towards state and local governments, but SSDI is funded by federal payroll tax (FICA), which Chris has never contributed to for all but a few months of his life.

Another thing to take into consideration is that not all of the money even stays in the U.S. economy. Chris spends quite a bit of his tugboat on imported products. For example, Nintendo and Sony are Japanese corporations, and Chris's beloved Lego is a product of Denmark. These companies do have U.S. bases, and a small amount of R&D occurs stateside. But at the end of the day, most of it occurs overseas, and let's not forget that the majority of Chris's toys, electronics, and other products were most likely made in some sweatshop in China. In short, a good chunk of the tugboat ends up overseas, so if anything, he's supporting the world economy.

Ironically, if Chris bought a HEXBox earlier (instead of boycotting it until 2017), the majority of money spent on it and on many of its games would be put back into the U.S. economy, as Microsoft is headquartered in Redmond, Washington.

Earning potential

On the advice of his late father, Chris has never looked for a job since leaving Wendy's, supposedly because the tugboat gives him more money overall. However, Bob was totally wrong. Since 2008, the hourly minimum wage in the Commonwealth of Virginia has been $7.25, pursuant to federal minimum wage. If Chris were somehow to do a complete 180° on his life, get off disability, and begin working a full 40-hour week, his monthly income before taxes and rent payment would be approximately $1,260 USD. This would put Chris's annual income range, before tax, at roughly $15,100. Subtracting what he pays his parents to live in filth, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $9,000 in spending money, enough for many more sex toys and video games, in contrast with the $2,748 Chris pulls in annually from the government after paying off his parents. As SSDI payments have been adjusted for inflation over the years, while Virginia's legislation has not, this earning gap has since closed. Despite this, Chris still could have earned $48,600 (or even more, if he were to be promoted or find better work with his new skills) or more over the last decade by working instead of remaining on disability.

Even if this weren't enough, the most cursory research reveals that a SSDI beneficiary could have earned from $700 a month in the year 2000, when Chris was 18, to $1,000 a month in 2010 without losing a cent of SSDI payments. As of 2019, this limit is about as much as Chris would earn working minimum wage part time.[10] Social Security also has voluntary programs that would let Chris try working a real job for up to nine months without upsetting his tugboat in the slightest.[11] At best, Bob's decision to encourage Chris's unemployment came from the reasonable assumption that Chris could never survive in a real-world workplace environment. At worst, it was negligence or blind delusion that let Chris to miss out on over $100,000 in potential bras, faux-china, children's toys, and PS3 accessories covered in Lego through to the end of 2010 and beyond.

Rough calculations and estimations say that if Chris lives into his 80s, given reasonable "cost of living" increases to his tugboat annually, he will receive roughly $1,000,000 over his lifetime from his countrymen. In this day and age, that's chump change and he'd amass a larger fortune if he simply got off his ass and got a career; of course, it's extremely unlikely that he will live anywhere near that long.

References by Chris

Chris does not even understand which program he is on. In many emails[12][13][14][15] and posts[16][17] he mistakenly says that he receives SSI, which is a different welfare program for the poor that has far tighter restrictions and a typically lower payout.

  • The earliest known use of the term "monthly tugboat" was in March 2007 in Chris's first e-mail to his half-brother Cole Smithey. When introducing himself, Chris says, "I'm getting by livin' with my folks and a monthly tugboat". He does not actually explain what a "monthly tugboat" is supposed to be.
  • An e-mail to Megan from August 2007 recounts Chris's purchase of Guitar Hero with his latest tugboat check.
  • During the Miyamoto Saga, Chris claimed he was waiting for his tugboat (in an e-mail to "Miyamoto" himself, no less) to fix technical problems with his website.
  • In Mumble #1, Chris mentions that he'll have to wait for his next tugboat to buy some new content for Ape Escape on the PSP.
  • In BlueSpike PSN Chat #4, Chris tells Julie that he can't make it to Ohio until his next tugboat comes in.
  • Since late 2009, Chris seemed to have mostly given up the term "tugboat", possibly because of its extensive adoption by trolls in the Mumble chats, the Mailbag, and elsewhere. In the Father Call, he refers to it as his "monthly income", while in the Jackie e-mails he simply says he's on Social Security, although he did refer to it once as a "tugboat" in Mailbag #34.
  • The BlueSpike Skype logs, quoted at the top of the page shine a light on the origin of the term.
  • In one of the Jackie chat logs, he wrote about the reason he deserves the welfare:

[7:47 pm] CWC: Originally, I was given that blessing through my father, on one theory of me NOT being able to do the basics of a job, which I have told you I disagree with fully.
[7:48 pm] CWC: Yesterday, I have actually asked God the question, because all I was coming up with was having deserved it from my trials and tribulations in my life.
[7:48 pm] CWC: God responded...
[7:48 pm] CWC: He told me that he blessed me because he saw me as one of the appreciative and less richer people, so he gave me that blessing through the approval.
[7:49 pm] Jacklyn Romy: ???
[7:49 pm] CWC: And I also asked him about the Job situation; why have I not been able to get a job then?
[7:49 pm] Jacklyn Romy: that doesnt make sense
[7:49 pm] Jacklyn Romy: why would God approve you to rip off the government when there are people starving and dying on the streets who genuinely need help
[7:50 pm] CWC: he told me that he felt I was not ready to tackle a job yet, but he will bless me with a job when he sees fit.
[7:50 pm] CWC: I don't know.
[7:50 pm] Jacklyn Romy: thats not my understanding of how God works

“ i mean, are you sure you heard him correctly? no one I know has EVER heard God tell them "hey, just sit back and do nothing, i'll hand you a job and money so you can just play games all day" ”
Jackie, destroying Chris with sound logic.


Possible suspension and return

Cwcpaddedcell credit Un Platano.jpg
Psychiatric Hospital
In February 2022, during Chris's jail stay on an incest charge, he was transferred out of the Central Virginia Regional Jail to Western State Hospital, a psychiatric hospital.

As details regarding his stay are scarce, the information present may be subject to change.

For more, see Jail Saga#Transfer.
They're making him a HOOD LEGEND.

Despite run-ins with the law, particularly the GameStop macing incident, Chris has continued receiving his benefits over the years. However, it was believed that 2021 could have changed this: due to his arrest for incest, the SSA was eligible to terminate Chris's Social Security benefits since according to their rules, benefits are stopped if a recipient is institutionalized for more than 30 continuous days after being convicted of a crime.[18]

In March 2022, Chris's tugboat was probably suspended after being sent to Western State Hospital during his jail stay awaiting trial for incest. While the SSDI program allows jail inmates to receive benefits as long as they have either not yet been convicted or are sentenced to less than 30 days,[19] if the inmate is sent to a mental health institution for more than 30 days because of being deemed Incompetent to Stand Trial, the benefits are suspended (although if an inmate is sent for any other reason, a suspension is not applied).[20]

Praetor claimed in March 2023 that Chris's tugboat is still operating, but due to being incarcerated he has been unable to access the funds. Chris was housed at the hospital for 64 days "for treatment of incompete [sic]", so it's unlikely he has been continuing to receive money by that point.

That being said, in May 2023, Chris was spotted in public repeatedly at various stores, apparently buying a new Nintendo Switch while at Walmart, and in later months was seen online on PSN playing a PS5 game and on Xbox. As such, it is currently unknown whether or not the money has come from the group home he is likely staying at, he managed to reactivate his monthly earnings after being released, or if Praetor turned out to be right and his tugboat was still operating at that time.

References

  1. ↑ BlueSpike Skype Logs 12
  2. ↑ [1]
  3. ↑ Social Security Benefits Planner: How You Qualify
  4. ↑ Benefits for Children with Disabilities, Page 7.
  5. ↑ Substantial Gainful Activity
  6. ↑ File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg
  7. ↑ Jackie Chat #7
  8. ↑ Chris, via Null, on 13 July 2018
  9. ↑ Mailbag #34
  10. ↑ http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/COLA/sga.html
  11. ↑ Ticket to Work - Work Incentives
  12. ↑ Jackie E-mails 6
  13. ↑ Jackie E-mails 25
  14. ↑ Rebeckah Bentley E-mails
  15. ↑ LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2011-2012
  16. ↑ November 2016 Facebook posts
  17. ↑ December 2016 Facebook posts
  18. ↑ https://www.ssa.gov/reentry/benefits.htm
  19. ↑ https://www.disability-benefits-help.org/faq/keep-disability-benefits-jail
  20. ↑ https://secure.ssa.gov/poms.nsf/lnx/0202607330

See also

v • d • e  
Money
Income
Problems
Debt  • Financhu Crisis (Timeline: 2016  • 2017  • 2018  • 2019  • 2020  • 2021)  • Welfare check
Expenditures
See also


The CWC-tionary

Relationships: Attraction Location | Boyfriend-free girl | Darling | Dating education | Friend Zone | Gal-pal | Heart Level | Homos | Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor | Love Quest | Noviophobia | SLGBTQ | Sweetheart | Sweetheart from the Ground-Up

Sex: China | Comeuppance | Duck | JULAY | Mass debating | Negligent | Pedofork | Pickle | Recycling | Soul Bonding | Virgin with rage | Virginia is for Virgins | Women's rights

Himself: Biological clock | Butt garments | Captain's Log | Christian Love Day | DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS | Fuzzy-Wuzzies & Prickly-Wicklies | Honest Content | I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD | Monthly tugboat | Muscle bra | Random-access humor | Saga | Scale of Respect | Tomgirl |

Stressors: 4-cent_garbage | GOPony | HEXBox | JERKS | Jerkops | Kick the Autistic | Manajerks | Naïve | Niggos | Pmurt | Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens | Slow-in-the-minds | Tobacky

Fantasies: Curse-ye-ha-me-ha | Dimension | Fangs | Godjesus | Iron Curtain | OC | Un-clit

Comics: Anchuent Prophecy | Da Update | Electric Hedgehog Pokemon | Nombie-zazis | Parody | Rosechu | Sonichu | Sub-Episodes | Sweetbolt

See also: Chris and English | List of phrases Chris copied from media

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