Difference between revisions of "Calling Out"
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''[Chris turns the camera back towards himself while spinning around]'' | ''[Chris turns the camera back towards himself while spinning around]'' | ||
And, Mr. David, you have until [[September 2011|September]] fifteenth to come up with the apology video, and leave me and my family and my friends at peace, oh, and also in your apology video tell everyone to stop making phonecalls to me that say ''[the Claw of Fail]'' JUUULLAAAAY! JUUULLLAAAYYY! And get rid... make sure that no-one ever calls me Ian Brandon Anderson ever again, because, ''[fast]'' thatisnotmyname! ''[long pause]'' You have until September fifteenth. JUUUULLLLAAAY- ''[cuts out]'' | And, Mr. David, you have until [[September 2011|September]] fifteenth to come up with the apology video, and leave me and my family and my friends at peace, oh, and also in your apology video tell everyone to stop making phonecalls to me that say ''[the Claw of Fail]'' JUUULLAAAAY! JUUULLLAAAYYY! And get rid... make sure that no-one ever calls me Ian Brandon Anderson ever again, because, ''[fast]'' thatisnotmyname![http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1c2OfAzDTI&ob=av3e] ''[long pause]'' You have until September fifteenth. JUUUULLLLAAAY- ''[cuts out]'' | ||
{{Troll Videos}} | {{Troll Videos}} | ||
Revision as of 14:06, 24 August 2011
Calling Out refers to a series of videos Chris uploaded between 6-23 August 2011, following an 8 month hiatus from YouTube.
These videos showcase Chris's Tomgirl look, where he attempts to make himself look feminine. Chris is sporting new earrings in these videos, two on his right ear and one on his left. His glasses are also absent. Chris's camerawork in this series is exceptionally shitty, opting to hold the camera with his hand instead of propping it up on a surface. This results in a very shaky, Cloverfield-like viewing experience.
Calling Out "Tito" - Don
In this video, also known as 101 2461, Chris announces his return to the Internet. He claims to have information regarding the true identity of various trolls, including Surfshack Tito (aka "Don"). After briefly showing viewers a fragment of a photograph of what he claims is the real Tito, Chris lists his demands to prevent the release of the full photo and, presumably, other revealing documents.
| Calling Out "Tito" - Don | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 6 August 2011 |
| Subject Matter |  Comics,  Rumors,  Internet,  Trolls
|
| Performance Style |  Reason,  Smug
|
| Saga |  Surfshack Tito,  Tomgirl
|
| Shirt |  The Happy Jack
|
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous 100 2357.MOV |
next Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy |
Transcript
[Looks at camera with an emotionless face, and then jerks the camera to his right]
Attention, citizens of the internet. I am making a return. Y'all should know me by now, if in case if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu and Rosechu and the electric hedgehog Pokemon. Firstly, upon that note, I would like to inform everyone that it was originally meant to be a TV-Y7 rated... friendship socializing, promoting type of series... it is not meant to be taken otherwise in any adulterous forms.
[Jerks camera around more]
And with that, I will now continue with why I am making my return. I am ready to initiate negotiations and paybacksss with the trolls, some cyberbullies that have been defiling me within the past five years... in the past four years. Firstly, I would like to make it well known that I have information of such trolls and cyberbullies if at that point if I release them, they could be easily trolled back by aaanyone. And, the first among chopping block I would like to ensue, Surfshack Tito... or should I day, Don in Michigan! And I'm not saying that he's a total fat person, but he would make the really big Buddha look like a supermodel in comparison. In fact, with his looks, he could be a Rasta Buddha! And I show you only a fragment of the pho-to-graph. [Turns camera towards his television, showing part of a man's face.]
Now, DON. Let's talk business. If you do not want me to review- reveal the entire pho-to-graph, or any of the remainder of your information of which I have upon my possession, YOU WILL FOLLOW MY DEMANDS! And they are listed as such....
I want you to come forward with- come forward with your participation in, uh, PlayStation Network hackings... directly to Sony Computer Entertainment America and Sony Computer Entertainment Japan with a live video, unaltered, ay, uh--slightly altered, you MAY blur your face. That is the only option that you get: Blurring your face. You will apologize to... Sony and mess up for hacking into the PlayStation Network at all, 'cause I know you are responsible for that.
And also, I would you to, in that- within that same video, or in a separate video, apologize directly to my ex-girlfriend Heather and her family. You may even call them up on the telephone that you are the one among which responsibole for pretending to be me... and stopping that relationship between us, 'cause I would like to have peace between my... past friends, because I don't like there to be bad things or ill tidings between people. (Pauses) And I know it was partially my fault, too, on that, by the way, within that relationship breakup.
But anyway, moving on with my demands, I would like- also like you to set to-send me via U.S. Mail, ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS CASH. American. Unmarked billssss, snail-mailed to my home address, in a long, small white... envelope, with YOUR home address clearly, legibly, hand writ-ten on the envelope in the return area. Next, I want you to remove ALL of the -cre-ALL of the pages on the website known as the CWCki that have originally came from you that you have started. Also, as well as all contributions you have to any other pages as well. And lastly, from this point, after you have done these things, I would like you, Don of Michigan, to leave me, my life, my family, my friends alone. To be, for the rest of our lives, in peace.
I leave that up to you Surussshack Tito. Expect another video in the near fu- in the near future of another troll that I am well aware of. Thank you.
Tito's official response
In a clear attempt to meet Chris's demands, Tito produced a video in which he explains what lengths he is prepared to go to in order to prevent Chris from releasing his personal information. This video was acknowledged by Chris the following day.
Video
| Tito's official response to Chris | |
| Stardate | 9 August 2011 |
| Made By | Surfshack Tito |
| Subject Matter | Response to Chris's Demands |
| TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos | |
| “ | This is official, true, and honest. | ” |
Transcript
Heh, hey, little cuz, uh, or, uh, Christian Weston Chandler if you prefer. It's me, uh, Tito, or Don, um. Listen man, I got some sand in the potato salad this time; you caught me, cuz. I- I admit it. I sold the security files of Sony to the hackers and I'll, uh I'll get you the money! I'll get you the thousand dollars, and the interest! Just don't- just don't release that video, eh with the picture of me, just don't do anymore, man! I'll, uh, I'll do anything, I'll be your slave for a whole week if I have to. I got people after me, I can't have them finding out who I am, just, just be a cuz, man, and-and-and- and don't let me down. I won't let you down.
Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy
In this video, Chris calls out Thorg (aka "Jeremy", aka CWCki user Thorgnzorrg) and again sets out his demands to prevent the release of a full photograph and revealing documents. Despite his interest in appearing and acting like a woman, Chris demands that Thorg let the people of New York City know that he likes China.
| Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 6 August 2011 |
| Subject Matter | Internet, Trolls
|
| Performance Style | Reason, Smug
|
| Saga | Tomgirl
|
| Shirt | The Happy Jack
|
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous Calling Out "Tito" - Don |
next Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg" |
Transcript
Hello, once again, the Internet! I have returned with another troll, cyberbull-y, that I am ware- aware of who he is in real life. I br- I called to your attention Master Thorg, T-H-O-R-G, or as he [is] known in real life, Jeremy, within Canada.
He is a pizza-faced atheist. You can find him possibly in a video game store. I leave the specifics disclosed at this time. And, here is a sample of his pho-to-graph.
[Chris points the camera to the television showing half the face of a man. He then returns the camera to him.]
Now, Jeremy, let's you and I talk business now. My demands are as follows:
Because I know and well awa- and I [am] well aware that you have Photoshopped me into that damned gay bar and uploaded it- have it- you had it uploaded upon the billboards in New York City within some time ago. I would like you to make a public apology with your face, you may blur your face out as well, but I would like the statement to follow it:
"That you are- that it is a correction that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am STRAIGHT, and I have never ever been in a damned gay bar ever."
And I want that uploaded among the New York City billboards, and I want them left up there for one whole week, from one Sunday to the following Saturday. One, whole, week. Seven. days.
And that I- and also within the statements I would like you to know that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am an all-around good-natured person, and that I am to be treated and respected as a normal person. I am not a bad person; I do not like to be treated or thought of as a bad person, as I have been made out to be within the trolls, including yourself, Jeremy, within your smearing and hate campaigns of my name.
My next demand: I would like you to remove all of your pages as well from the CWCki, including every last page and image that you have put up there talking about the Tomboy/Tomgirl forum of Virginia. Remove them all, as well as your contributions to any pages. And then beyond that after having completed all that, I would like you as well to leave me, my life, my family, and my friends, alone, and at peace, to live our lives respectively as well. I'll leave you all with that. Stay tuned for another revealed troll... or slightly revealed, as I am ON THE PAYBACK! [laughs maniacally]
I win.
Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"
In this short video, Chris sets a deadline for Don and Jeremy to meet his demands, lest the authorities intervene: 31 August, 2011.
| Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg" | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 6 August 2011 |
| Subject Matter | Internet, Trolls
|
| Performance Style | Reason, Smug
|
| Saga | Surfshack Tito, Tomgirl
|
| Shirt | The Happy Jack
|
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy |
next Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher |
Transcript
[Jerks around the camera and makes a wide-eyed, blank face]
I almost forgot. Between Don and Jeremy, also known as Suresack- Surfshack Tito and Thorg, my demands, I would like them met before August 31st, 2011, the end of this month. And if my demands are not met before then, I'm gonna reveal your respective real life photographs as well as the rest of the personal information of you two in the- respectively, that I have within my possession. And then you two will b- each be trolled by your own trolls, and the police will catch up with you.
So, each of you. Meet my demands. Before August 31st... 2011.
[Fumbles with the camera again, almost dropping it]
Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher
Three days later, Chris posted a fourth video, calling out Alec Benson Leary. He's dropped the request for money and billboards, but now demands that Alec, Tito and Thorg leave the Internet. He later delivers tirade concerning the GAMe PLACe and its owner, which culminates in accusing Michael Snyder of being a child molester. Chris's poor speaking skills are quite prevalent in this video, as he repeats the words "essentially" and "associated" numerous times. He also manages to repeat the ever-classic "My mommy- my family" line from one of his videos for Ivy.
| Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 9 August 2011 |
| Subject Matter | Internet, Trolls
|
| Performance Style | Reason, Smug
|
| Saga |  Asperchu, Tomgirl
|
| Shirt |  Green Tomgirl,  Red Muscle Bra
|
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy |
next It's not that cold |
Transcript
Hello, again, once again. I am here to make another troll esspose as I have found anudder one amongst the bunch... the bunches! The one called Alec Benson Learec- Leary is not who he appears to be, and certainly is NOT an original creator of Asperchu. In fact, he is not even AsPERGIAN! He does not have Aspergers, and he’s another fatty fat fat fat fat... fat. Aaand just le—and I do NOT have a script. I have notes.
[Holds up a piece of lined paper and a piece of red construction paper]
I have notes and I form my own script. Anyway, he also has ties with the, uh, Game and Hobby place of which he makes donaations, of wid- which I have another esspose about the Game Place. First, here is his closeup.
[Turns camera towards his television, showing part of a man's face.]
Now let’s talk... oh yeah, his real name is Christopher. So, Cha-ris, let’s talk business now. What I would like from you… is essentially a live video apology for all the wrongs you have done to me over the innernet including the copyright infringement on my Sonichu with your CHEAP, poor excuse for a 9-year-old... Asperchu, you immature jerk! And then, I want you to leave the internet for good, and leave me and my mom—and my family... and friends at peace.
Also, on that note, I wish to make a correction to my demands with Don and Jeremy. Essentially I have lear- Essentially I have learned from my esteemed colleague associates that apparently it is extortion to request mucho dinero, plus the billboard is no longer in effect. So therefore, I essentially still want Don to come forward with his video to Sony and to me publicly apologizing and everything, and the same goes to Jeremy. Public video apology, and both of y’all have to leave the internet for good, and leave me and my family and friends at peace.
Anyway, going back to, uh, Christopher… by the way, I know you’re in Texas. You’re in Texas, you fatty fat fat! He has been donating to the troll cause and such over at The PLACE! The game and hobby place of which we are fully aware of and have grown to love and such, but there is more to THE PLACE, and its three associated stores located only within Virginia, and I know from cold hard facts... including facts from a Hook article back in August of 2002, that... the four stores, their owner, a one Mr. Robert Lightburn... is... a child molester, and convicted sex offender in Illinois.
And think about this! The place in Charlottesville is located right across from a school, and it is owned by a child molester! Parents! Children! Associated families! I don’t think you would want anyone who is a minor, or even under the age of ten to go into such a place that is owned by a child molester, and I am sure that in association, even though he is married, Michael Snyder has his own child molestation skeleton in his closet! He probably even molested his own daughter for all I know! I do not have concrete facts, so therefore that is just theory until I am corrected. But the point is the place is owned by a child molester, and nobody should ever, ever go into that place again… and it should be closed down for good! And that’s all I have for this video right now. Stay tuned for another Trroll ess-especial twirl esspose.
Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy
In this video, also known as 101 2466, Chris accepts Tito's attempt to meet his demands, while Thorg appears to have made no such efforts yet. Chris is still awaiting the money he demanded (apparently forgetting that in the last video he admitted that blackmail was a felony), and another part of Jeremy's face and part of another photo Chris has obtained of him are shown to viewers.
This video also shows us that Chris now has two piercings on each ear. It was previously believed he had two on his right ear and only one on his left.
| Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 10 August 2011 |
| Subject Matter | Internet, Trolls
|
| Performance Style | Reason, Smug
|
| Saga | Surfshack Tito, Tomgirl
|
| Shirt | Green Tomgirl, Red Muscle Bra
|
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous It's not that cold |
next Correction of EX relationship status |
Transcript
Well, it seems I have gotten a well-wise response to my recent videos...from master Don, of which I will now respond to as sutss. You d-you made a wise descision, Don. I am-as long as I get the money before the end of the month, I will withhold the photographs and the other information. I can promise you that, but miss the deadline... [widens his eyes and stares into the camera] and you certainly don't have to be my slave for a week. I mean, aside from the slave laws and everything. [shakes head and sighs]
Anyway, apparently I have learned from my esteemed colleague that Thorg, master Jeremy, is still not convinced I mean businesss. Well, just to show you, Jeremy, that I mean businesss, I'm going to reveal a little bit more about you.
Here is a closeup--another closeup of that pho-to-graph zoomed in on your pizza face! [looks off-camera at the picture and zooms in on a different part] Excuse me a moment. [whispers] alright, [mumbles, as air conditioner gets louder] as well as a zoom-in on a possibly more current, or possibly previous pho-to-graph of yourself. Aaand, I'm gonna reveal a couple of random tidbits about you from my notes!
Once again, Jeremy lives in Can-a-da...and he likes the typical geeky things, without being stereotypical, of course, and not offending anyone of the sort, because I am considerably one myself, because I like Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh!, and all- and that sort. Apparently, uh, he is a LARPer. Live action role playing! As it was portrayed in that episode of The Tester!
[begins to speak in a high-pitched, singsongy voice]
"Oh, look at me, I'm trollicking about! We are going to be warriors and whatnot! Yay, we won the things! And then we're future cops, sent being- mall-for future mall cops! Mall cops of the future! La, la la, la la, la la! We're LARPing about! LARP LARP LARP LARP! LARP. LAAAARP. LARP! Lorp."
And we know that the atheist does not like having his mind changed about God. I mean, I gotta tell you, man, God is all-powerful. How do you think the Earss was created aside from the big bang? Who had to put the big bang together? God! And I know from my bible [shows bible], my hand on it, that between him and Jesus, they're pretty powerful! They're pretty powerful individuals... and I believe in them. They have- I mean, Jesus has done a lot with his miracles before he had to weigh the cross, which I just empathize with him on that,i mean.
[closes eyes and inhales through teeth] it's like I can feel the thorns that were drug-that were drudge, plowed through his hands and his feet! Thorn of crowns. Mm. Empathy is a powerful thing.
But...I would certainly not want to be an atheist, 'cause if I don't have God or Jesus at my-by my side, I would be more lost than I was considerably beforehand! Atheists...are the Devil's spawning, as it would seem! ...And I would certainly would not want to be amrong- amongst them when they are run out of town with the pitchforks and the hace and the fire! As a believer...I would either be a peacem- I would more likely be a peacemaker, but I certainly wouldn't mind being one with the pitchfork, following the crowd and pushing the atheist out of town!
You have until August 31st to reply and follow my demands of admitting...your wrongdoings, and making the public apologies via YouTube video, as I am a-well aware, as I have made note, but apparently the billboard is no longer an option. Anyway, between the YouTube public apology, and leaving the internet alone, AND leaving me, my family, my friends at peace, that is what I demand of you, master Jeremy. [air conditioner gets louder]
Your move. 'Cause if you're not, fulfill- if you don't don't respond by the 31st, [snaps fingers and widens his eyes] I mean business. Check your privileges!
Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya
Chris, lipstick and all, threatens Jack Thaddeus. Unlike his reveal on Thorg, Chris becomes two-faced as he accepts Jack's desire to be a transvestite and seek gender reassignment surgery, yet he attacks Jack because he chases after guys. Like the reveal on Thorg, Chris wants to see him trolled not so much out of a tit-for-tat desire for revenge, but rather because Chris found out he was homosexual. Interestingly, Chris gives Jack ten extra days to come up with his apology video and to leave the Internet.
| Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 16 August 2011 |
| Subject Matter | Internet, Trolls,  Homos
|
| Performance Style | Reason, Smug
|
| Saga |  Clyde Cash, Tomgirl
|
| Shirt |  Blue Tomgirl, Red Muscle Bra
|
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous Kaka Makeup Basics |
next Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg" |
| “ | Blackmailing me to hump your Playstation 3 causing great embarassment, to sing "It's okay to be gay", and he Posted disgusting advertisements on the CWCipedia | ” |
Transcript
[Chris sits down and sighs.] Good day. I felt that it's appropriate to dress in my feminine attire as I- as you can see fits. [He stretches out one leg, trying to show off his ass.] Because I am definite calling out one Jack Thaddeusss, and we happen to share [He lifts his leg and rests it on his knee, giving the camera a buffalo shot.] some similar common interests, a few of which. Like, uh, yes, we can- we- we do accept the adj- we both accept the adjective of being called trannies, esscept for him, he's, uhh, he's just went through a whole-- the whole gender-changing operation. Yep. Lopping off his dick and puttin' on the ol'... an' gettin' it tucked in. I am not- I would never chop- I would never do that to- I would never do that. Go and have a sex change operation. I'm proud to be a male, and I'm even more proud to be a tomgirl.
And we both like to cross-dress, yes. And we both are into femdom, which is a female domination. Oh, yeah. [creepy chuckle] I like to get smacked by my woman. Mmm... yes.
Except for, uh, I would definitely s- put against, uh, Misher Jack, or, as is real name is said in de title of this video, which I will say in a moment. Uhh, in the pro- in the- in his- in his case of him, uh, having his operation and going through it, I feel that he would defi'itely not be considered any at all a woman- a woman whatsoever. He just only fashionably [raises his hands] looks like a woman, with the parts and whatnot, except he does not have- essept he would not have a uterus, and he would have no repoductive[sic] organs. I mean, I want to have children someday. Obviously, he don't. [Gives a disgusted look.]
And, uh, also my associate dat gave me the information on him, he- pretty much, uh, he pretty much is plain out callin' him a tomgirl, but you know what? He's not a tomgirl at all. He's just a full-blown gay. [Stares into space, then looks down at his clipboard.]
Anyway, gettin' back on topic, uh, his name is, uh, Ahu-viya, which, uh, it is spelled at the title of this video. Hmm, he is in Pennsylvania, and, uh, I have pretty much just gave a few descriptions of him, uh, yeah. He definitely appreciates his... homoseshual culture as it is. I mean, yeah. Everybody- everybody who hates- everybody who is a ho- who is a homophobe, [drops his leg down and sits upright] go ahead and call him on it. Call Ahuviya a God-dang homo.
[moans with a derp voice, imitating Ahuviya] Homo! I like to be a homo! He-he durr-hurr bluh bleh bleh! Eeeeoooouh! [shakes his head with his tongue sticking out, then blows a raspberry]
Yeah. But, of course, the, uh- my demands are simple, as they ha' been recently. I want Mr Ha- Ahuviya to make the public apologies for all the things he have done a- he has done against me. [Quieter voice.] Shoot, I forgot to write 'em down. But he knows what he did! Among which, uh, he has, uh, pestured me, and, uh, on the phone, and uh, blackmailed me into doin' a few things. Yeah, I'll in from th- get those stats in and, uh, if he doesn't, uh, I might add them to the description of this video, after I wri- after I write 'em down.
Hmph. Anyway, 25-year-old Ahuviya, homooooo! Pretty much it. [Swings his leg back up to rest on his knee.] We do agree on being cross-dressersss. Although, I must also admit, um, [to himself]I should have access to that actually, uh, yeah. [Grabs his PS3 controller] Just give me oooone moment. [Boots up his PS3] Yeah, I think this is it. Whoops. [puts controller in both hands] I think actually did... save it on here... Huhhh, zoom in, I only want a but of a free sample.
[Grabs his camera shakily.] For thisss, as usuaw... hmm, I gotta get a little clossse here, because I don't have zoom-in functions on the Cross-Video bar Photo Viewer...
[Cue a bright yellow light] Closer the picture. [Shows a close-up of a man's chin.] Yeah. Anyway, he just does a bad- he just does a terrible job in cross- quote-unquote "cross-dressing," because I mean, look at that stubble on his face! [Smacks his hand on the camera lens.]
[Uncovers to show his arm, then the camera pans over his messy room.] And then look at me all over. I take the time to shave myself. [Close-up of his bare thigh, then slaps it.] Smooth. [He slaps his ass.]
[He jerks up the camera back to his face.] So yeah. Ahuviya... make your apology video, leave the Internet, leave me and my family and my friends at peace. You have... uhh, lemme see... [He checks his calender, counting under his breath.] One, two three... Yeah. You have until the tenth of September of this year to upload your video of apology for all the wrongs you have done to me which I list in the description a li'l later. Good day.
Re-Calling Ahuvia
On 23 August 2011, Chris made another video calling out Jack Thaddeus once more. As the time ticks down, Chris reveals more information about him, including the fact that he was a communist, which Chris hates (probably because of Bob). He further proves his ignorance by conflating communism and Nazism, even though the two were mortal enemies. Like his previous Jack Thaddeus/ADF video, it was removed for hate speech.
| Re-Calling Ahuvia | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 23 August 2011 |
| Subject Matter | Internet, Trolls, Homos
|
| Performance Style | Reason, Smug
|
| Saga | Clyde Cash, Tomgirl
|
| Shirt | Mix 107.5 Shirt |
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg" |
next Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David |
Transcript
*Sigh* Hello again, thee Internet. I have heard d- have not seen any response from Mr. Jack Thaddeus, as also he's known as Ahuviya. So therefore, I will reveal a little bit more information about him, starting with another portion of the photograph. [Camera pans shakily to the TV screen. It takes a moment to come into focus, revealing the upper left portion of a face, and then jerks back to Chris.]
And, uh- let's see, what else do I have here on de stanssss... [Chris seems to read from something in his hands offscreen] He was definitely responsible for hacking my- hacking da network accounts. Probably had a hand in that blackout a few months ago. [A brief pause while Chris looks at his notes again] And, uh, he blackmailed me into humping... my c-console. And, uh, pa- he pasted the disgusting ads on da Cwcipedia... as well [Slurring and hissing] asss otherss trollin' schemess within the past couple of years. Uh, let's see...
[Looks down again] Hmm...
Oh yes! [Looks back at camera, raises voice in a faux dramatic fashion] He is a communist! And we do not like communists within dis country! [Waves his right hand about, pointing upwards while glancing to his left] We are Republican, Democrat or neutral... And I am neutral, so I can go either way, but I do not exactly care much for [Raises voice and waves finger emphatically] COMMUNISM! We do not like to stand under one ruler. It is very unruly and... sssssssstupid! [Pauses and stares]
[Chris begins to sing a half-assed rendition of "Der Fuhrer's Face"[1] I will give a heil! [raspberry] Heil! [raspberry] [In a sing-songy manner] Right in der Führer's face. Da da doo doo doo doo doo d'loo da doo doo doo da da [Chris and camera both bob enthusiastically with the tune] Heil! [raspberry] Heil! [raspberry] Right in der Führer's face. [With his song finished, Chris settles the camera]
Oh, yes, he is also a big fan of, uh- bonding... bondage, ssssadoism, machotism and disciplinary fetishisesss. And he is in the process of a sssexual change. He is going to have his... [Pauses, looks uncomfortable] weiner chopped off. I would ne'er do that, which I believe I have mentioned earlier; that is the one thing in being a tranny that I disagree on with him... And he's definitely never gonna be a female truly in that sense, in female [loudly and deeply] dominance. He has to get a real woman to come in in order to do that. [Pauses again to look at his notes]
He still lives in Pennsylvania. Still a homo. [With a dramatic voice like an announcer at a boxing match] Twennnty five years old! [Attempting to sing the name operatically] Ahuviyaaaaa.
Stay tuned.
Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David
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PROTIP:
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Chris, still high on victory, turns his attention to BlueSpike, believing him to be the cause of the prank phone calls of people shouting out "JULAAAAAAAAAAY!" and calling him Ian Brandon Anderson. His reasoning for going after BlueSpike also seemed to be more towards his condition of Asperger's and the fact that he has no job, likes big rooms and is a gamer, despite the fact that BlueSpike would only be about 15-16 by now and unable to get a proper job, unlike a certain 29-year-old we know.
It, too, was removed from YouTube shortly after being posted due to "hate speech".
| Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 23 August 2011 |
| Subject Matter | Internet, Trolls
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| Performance Style | Reason, Smug
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| Saga | Clyde Cash, Tomgirl
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| Shirt | Mix 107.5 Shirt |
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous Re-Calling Ahuvia |
next Gratitude for a good person in N.C. |
Transcript
[Chris puts his hand to his mouth and clears his throat.] JUUULAYYYYYY! JUUUULAAYY! IT'S IAN BRANDON ANDERSON! [He waves his hands while saying this] JUUULLLAY! [incomprehensible retarded noises here, up to...] Ian Brandon Anderson. JUUUUULLAYYY! *pfffffttt* [blows raspberry while flipping the bird] And that's who we are calling out next. The, uh, person who posed-pretended to be an adult woman but yet was a little, uh, little brat. Al... -he was also known as his alias Max, and BlueSpike, but his real name is... [hits pad of paper offscreen] David!
And he lives in... [hits pad again] California! Don't know that much about his age, but he's at least thirteen years old. And guess what... he is confirmed to have... [dramatic lean forward] assburgers! And I don't care much for Aspergians, and I do not care to be associated with, erm, an-... and I do not accept the [makes quote-marks hand gesture] scientific fact that autism is linked to assburgers at any time. I would quote myself as to what I said in the esstra part of my Little Big Planet 2 animation, but I don't remember the words at this point.
[picks up camera and turns around, with it facing the back of the room]
Except that it definitely sounds like a bad cut of cow meat. And of course he was responsible for dat Julie fiasco and making me drive all the way to Cleveland, Ohioooo! And cutting up, one of the, cutting up the second medal, and [sounding like Popeye?] Shoving it up my ass. And... he likes [dramatic gesture] big rooms! And he has no job! And he is also a gamer. Here is a close up, featured from his photograph!
[Chris turns the camera around to face the TV]
[high pitched] Look at his buck teeth! [normal again] Or at least the gap between his teeth. That's a biiiig gap! Look at how big that gap is! Huh? Gap! Teeth! Buck teeth? Perhaps. But definitely a gap.
[Chris turns the camera back towards himself while spinning around]
And, Mr. David, you have until September fifteenth to come up with the apology video, and leave me and my family and my friends at peace, oh, and also in your apology video tell everyone to stop making phonecalls to me that say [the Claw of Fail] JUUULLAAAAY! JUUULLLAAAYYY! And get rid... make sure that no-one ever calls me Ian Brandon Anderson ever again, because, [fast] thatisnotmyname![1] [long pause] You have until September fifteenth. JUUUULLLLAAAY- [cuts out]
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