Chris's resume

On 9 September 2009, Chris's résumé finally surfaced onto the Internet, through the effort of a troll with a friend who worked in an HR department.

Analysis

As is to be expected, for someone with no discernible skills and extremely limited work experience, the résumé is less than impressive. No less than three times Chris pads his résumé by claiming his "volunteer work" for Pokémon league events at The GAMe PLACe and other locations as actual work experience (when in reality he had no authority, and in fact was himself closely monitored by the actual employees).

Chris's résumé includes a few points where he talks about his desire to work for a comics publisher, such as DC or Archie. However, it's unlikely that Chris has sent any work or a résumé to either company, likely simply uploading it to Monster and waiting for others to contact him (not unlike his Attraction Sign). He is seemingly unaware or unwilling to accept that the industry standard for a professional graphic designer (working for DC or Archie) is not only a well-organized portfolio demonstrating samples of his work but also a bachelor's degree in Graphic Design and demonstrated proficiency in accepted design software such as Adobe Creative Suite. Non-art work experience is rarely considered unless it is mentioned as an essential part of the job description.

His cover letter can described as a Sonichu-driven ego rub. Even at a quick glance, one can see that three entire paragraphs are dedicated towards describing Sonichu and Rosechu and how they've made him "internet famous," instead of what it should be about (reasons why it would be a good idea to hire him.) In typical Chris-Chan fashion, he seems to think that he's in complete control of what (Sonichu-related) responsibilities he should be given in the organization, and makes a serious no-no by mentioning that the job should have "good pay," which is usually a turn-off to serious employers.

His "quick construction skills from scratch" (especially considering that he's referring to constructing decks in a children's card game) would mean nothing in interviewing for the very job he seeks to obtain. Indeed it would be of no interest to any other potential employer, for that matter. Furthermore, according to two people who actually had a chance to play card games with Chris, his deck construction skills are severely lacking.

The resume also has a number of CWC style butcheries of well known phrases, such as the particularly grating phrase "Elbow-greased strength" which only serve to make it most nonsensical.

Furthermore, while the field for "job objectives" offers three lines for a succinct answer, Chris, typical of his rambling style, attaches three extra pages of useless junk, thus ensuring that any potential employer will not make any efforts to read the entire résumé (that is, if the scrappy, untidy handwriting doesn't immediately turn them away first.)

The résumé

The following is Chris's complete résumé, as it is posted on the popular résumé website Monster.com, with only minor edits for wiki styling.

Contact Info

"Christopher" Christian Weston Chandler
14 Branchland Ct., Ruckersville, VA 22968-9545
Home: 434-990-0198 Cell: 434-760-0848
Cwcipedia/CWC’s Sonichu and Rosechu Site!
http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page

Objectives

I wish to make my Sonichu and Rosechu franchise Official, with getting me paper published at Archie, Marvel, DC or Dark Horse Comics, with continuing work as Comic Book Artist and Story Creator/Editor, good pay, eventual Official Sonichu and Rosechu Merchandise that I, personally, can officially sign-off on and further enforce my nine-year-old copyright with a more peaceful future. (See attached pages for more info).

Experience

[Note: for some reason, Chris listed each experience with an "Experience" heading. It is unknown why Chris did this, but for the sake of clarity, all job experience is collated into one heading.]

Date of Employment: March 17, 2000 – Current
(Self) C.W.C. Comics
Ruckersville, VA

Job Title

• Primary Duties: Drawing, writing, coloring and story-telling the continuing adventures of Sonichu, Rosechu and myself from life, creating from scratch and setting up the first original Sonichu Site, CWC’s Sonichu Site, as well as its sibling sites.
• Functional Skills: Great hand-drawing skills, story-telling and editing, building design from Computer Aided Drafting and Design (CADD), quick touch-typing skills, great Photoshop experiences, good HTML skills.
• Transferable Skills: All of the above.

Date of Employment: June, 2003 – September, 2003
Cutco Cutlery
Charlottesville, VA

Job Title

• Primary Duties: Salesman of their fine cutlery with the patented double-d edges.
• Functional Skills: Good people/social skills, great memorization of the salesman routine (won my boss over greatly with that memorizing).
• Transferable Skills: Good people/social skills, memorizing and swift learning.

Date of Employment: August, 2001 – October, 2001
Wendys[sic] Restaurant
Ruckersville, VA

Job Title

• Primary Duties: Cleaning trays, tables and carpet/tile flooring, keeping the place neat and serving the customers with kind, understanding help.
• Functional Skills: Elbow-greased strength, good people/social skills.
• Transferable Skills: All of the above.

Date of Employment: March, 1998 [sic] – June, 2000
Books-a-Million
Midlothian, VA

Job Title

• Primary Duties: I volunteered to help out as the Gym Leader’s Assistant for the Pokémon Trading Card Game league. I have taught many children how to play the game with care and respect, constructed their 60-card decks from their scattered collection with sound thought and speed skimming skills. I also watched over the children as I have played with them in the Pokémon Trading Card Game.
• Functional Skills: Elbow-greased strength, good people/social skills, quick construction skills from scratch, speed thinking.
• Transferable Skills: All of the above.

Date of Employment: June, 2000 – June, 2002
Toys “R” Us
Charlottesville, VA

Job Title

• Primary Duties: I volunteered to help out as the Gym Leader’s Assistant for the Pokémon Trading Card Game league. I have taught many children how to play the game with care and respect, constructed their 60-card decks from their scattered collection with sound thought and speed skimming skills. I also watched over the children as I have played with them in the Pokémon Trading Card Game.
• Functional Skills: Elbow-greased strength, good people/social skills, quick construction skills from scratch, speed thinking.
• Transferable Skills: All of the above.

Date of Employment: June, 2002 – June, 2007
The (Game & Hobby) Place
Charlottesville, VA

Job Title

• Primary Duties: I volunteered to help out as the Gym Leader’s Assistant for the Pokémon Trading Card Game league. I have taught many children how to play the game with care and respect, constructed their 60-card decks from their scattered collection with sound thought and speed skimming skills. I also watched over the children as I have played with them in the Pokémon Trading Card Game.
• Functional Skills: Elbow-greased strength, good people/social skills, quick construction skills from scratch, speed thinking.
• Transferable Skills: All of the above.

School Experience

Professional Education

Dates of Attendance: 9/1/1996 to 6/15/2000 Manchester High School Chesterfield County, Virginia

• High School Diploma with Honor Roll Grades.
• Honor Roll Star Pin awarded at Graduation.
• Certificate for serving on the varsity basketball team during my freshman year.

Academic Education

Dates of Attendance: August, 2000 to 6/1/2006 Piedmont Virginia Community College Charlottesville, Virginia

• Made the Dean’s List with Honor Roll Grades
• Computer Aided Drafting and Design, CADD, Associates Degree
• Computer Aided Drafting and Design, CADD, Career Studies Certificate

References

Susan Hannifan

• PVCC Guidance Counsoler
• 501 College Dr. Charlottesville, VA 22902
• 434-961-5281
• shannifan@pvcc.edu

Reverend Elizabeth Foss

• Pastor of Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church
• 1901 Thomson Rd. Charlottesville, VA 22903
• 434-296-6976
• elizabethfoss22@earthlink.net

Rocky Shoemaker

• Pastoral Counsoler
• 1901 Thomson Rd. Charlottesville, VA 22903
• 434-966-9636
• revrocky48@gmail.com

Tony Wayne

• Physics Teacher at Albemarle High School/Volunteer Pokémon TCG League Gym Leader
• 2275 Hydraulic Rd. Charlottesville, VA 22901
• 434-975-9300 Ext. 60265
• vastphysics@comcast.net

Job Objective, Full Story

I, Christian Weston Chandler, Birth name: Christopher, born on February 24, 1982 in Charlottesville, Virginia, am an artist with vast experiences in multiple art classes with multiple media throughout my whole lifetime from Green County Primary School to Piedmont Virginia Community Collge, with a diploma from Manchester High School and a degree and certificate in Computer Aided Drafting and Design (CADD) from PVCC.

Since the inspiration and conception of Sonichu, the Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon on March 17, 2000, I have grown further in his stories, plots and adventures in a series of hand-drawn and computer-edited comic books. I also have had and passed two HTML classes, and created from notepad scratch, CWC’s PokéSite 2!, El PokéSite de R.W.C. (Ricardo Weston Chandler was my Spanish nickname given to me during my two years of Spanish in Manchester High), and most importantly, the First and Original website dedicated to Sonichu, Rosechu and their adventures, CWC’s Sonichu Site.

I was also noted twice later in the periodicals of Nintendo Power magazine and PVCC’s The Forum for being the original creator of Sonichu and all. (See Periodical References below)

With the Sonichu Stie originally located at http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm, it stayed online from about 2000 until early 2009, whereas my Sonichu and Rosechu fanbase has grown massively over the years; there were also internet bullies and trolls. And the trolls hacked into and compromised my original Tripod webhosting account. I’ve had to pull the plug on the Tripod account and move on to another webhosting site. The second webhosting account suffered the same fate as the first, and then I moved to GoDaddy. It got hacked too, and so I pulled the plug on all my websites late May, 2009. I stayed off for about two months, then a gal-pal of mine about that time set up for me a start of what is now the New Original CWC’s Sonichu and Rosechu Site; the wikipedia-styled Cwcipedia at http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page. As I have done on the previous site, I have re-uploaded my Sonichu comic pages, and I am steadily expanding further with more stories and character bio pages.

I would like to be paper-published with a comic book company like Archie, Marvel, DC or Dark Horse comics, complete with Official Sonichu and Rosechu Merchandise I can personally sign-off on to follow for my Worldwide Fanbase.

Accept no imposturous substitutes who claim to be me or have any rights on my Sonichu and Rosechu stuff; I stand strong with my continued use of the Copyright © symbol on each of all my books and original singular art pieces and the date of creation of March 17, 2000. I have eye-witnesses at Manchester High of Sonichu’s conception and creation on that date. It also bothers me that the trolls are even selling bootleg copies of my Life DVD, Christian Weston Chandler. Yep…I’m On T.V., which was originally intent solely for family and close friend distribution. Trust one of the trolls to snag a copy and rip the vieos from the six-hour DVD-R.

I became famous without having to leave my house or go out-of-state or city.

After recent realization, on about July 17, 2009, of what I want to do, I wish to make it all official; get me paper-published with a comic book company like Archie, Marvel, DC or Dark Horse comics, with continuing work as a comic book artist and story creator/editor, good pay, eventual official Sonichu and Rosechu merchandise that I can personally and officially sign-off on and further enforce my nine-year-old copyright with a more peaceful future.

“Christopher” Christian Weston Chandler, August 11, 2009

© March 17, 2000 by “Christopher” Christian Weston Chandler.

Periodical References

• Nintendo Power – Volume 179, May 2004, Page 89 – Sonichu’s Cwcville Documentary
• Piedmont Virginia Community College’s The Forum – Volume 1, No. 13, 26 April 2004 – Meet Sonichu – Student Featured in Nintendo Power – By Kari Mitchell, The Forum Assistant Editor.

Chris's Resume Writing Worksheet

Contact Information

Name: "Christopher" Christian Weston Chandler

Address: 14 Branchland Ct.

Ruckersville, VA 22968-9545

Telephone: Home: (434)-990-0198 Cell: (434)-760-0848

E-mail: ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com

Job Objective

I am an Artist with Vast Experiences in Multiple Art Classes in my lifetime; with a Degree and Certificate in Computer Aided Drafting & Design from Piedmont Virginia Community...(see attached sheets)

Work Experience (Tip: List most recent first)

Employer Name: Wendys

City, State: Ruckersville, VA

Job Title: Basic Employee

Start date-End date: August, 2001 - October, 2001

Your primary duties were: Cleaning Trays, Cleaning Tables, Vaccuming & Cleaning the Carpet/Tile Flooring, being kind and serving to the customers, and taking garbage to dumpster.

List Functional Skills: Elbow Greasing Cleaning, Kind, Polite, People Social Skills.

List Transferable Skills: Kind, Polite People Social Skills.

---

Employer Name: Cutco Cutlary

City, State: Charlottesville, VA

Job Title: Sales Rep/Salesman

Start date-End date: June, 2003 - September, 2003

Your primary duties were: Salesman of their fine cutlary with their patented Double-D Edges.

List Functional Skills: Pep People/Social Skills, Good Memorizing of the Salesman Routine; won my Boss OVER GREATLY with that Memorizing

List Transferable Skills: People/Social Skills, Memorizing + Learning

---

Employer Name: Self

City, State: Ruckersville, VA

Job Title: Artist, HTML Wiz

Start date - End date: March 17, 2000 - ????

Your primary duties were: Drawing, an writing and story-telling the continuing adventures of Sonichu, Rosechu, and myself from LIFE.

List Functional Skills: Great Hand-Drawing Skills, Story-Creating, Building Designing (Designed CWCville Shopping Mall w. Mayor's Office in CADD), Quick Touch-Typing Skills, Photoshop Experiences

List Transferable Skills: ALL OF THE ABOVE.

Education (List most recent first)

Name of School or Institution: Manchester High School

City, State: Chesterfield Co., VA

Type of Training or Certification: Diploma

Start date - End date: Sept., 1996 - June, 2000

---

Name of School or Institution: Piedmont Virginia Community College

City, State: Charlottesville, VA

Type of Training or Certification: Computer Aided Drafting & Design Degree + Certificate

Start date - End date: August, 2000 - June, 2006

References (Tip: avoid using family members)

Name: Susan Hannifan

Relationship: PVCC Guidance Counsoler

Address: 501 College Dr.

Telephone number: (434)-961-5281

---

Name: Rocky Shoemaker

Relationship: Pastoral Counsoler

Address: Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church

Telephone number: (434)-996-9636

---

Name: Elizabeth Foss

Relationship: Pastor

Address: [blank]

Telephone number: (434)-296-6976

Resume Writing Worksheet Job Objective

"Christopher" Christian Weston Chandler.

I am an Artist with vast experiences in Multiple Art Classes my whole lifetime from Greene County Primary to Piedmont Virginia Community College with multiple Media experiences, with a Manchester High School Diploma and PVCC Degree + Certificate in Computer Aided Drafting & Design (CADD). Since March 17, 2000, I have started inspiration with my Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon creations, Sonichu & Rosechu, and grew further in their life's Stories and Plots in a series of Hand-Drawn and Computer-Edited Comic Books. I also have had and passed Two HTML classes, and created from Notepad Scratch CWC's PokeSite 2, El PokeSite De R.W.C. (Ricardo Weston Chandler; my Spanish Nickname from my taking of Two Years of Spanish at Manchester High), and more importantly, THE Original and First Sonichu Site, CWC's Sonichu Site @ http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm. Sadly, after years had passed, in early 2009, my webhosting account was compromised by Hackers + Internet Trolls/Bullies. I've had to go from webhost to webhost Twice to keep my Original Sites Up. Sadly, the Trolls got into them as well. I had pulled the plug and keep my sites offline for Two Months. And recently from Late May, 2009 at GoDaddy.com. And Now, a close real-life friend of mine put together for me the start of what is NOW My Official Sonichu Site, A.K.A., Cwcipedia. As with my past on CWC's Sonichu Site, I have reuploaded my Sonichu Comic Pages and started further expanding in Stories + Bio Pages.

I would like to be

Resume Writing Worksheet Gallery

• 

  The concept of "Most recent" escapes Chris.

• 

  Notice how he can't keep himself from including Sonichu in EVERYTHING.

• 

  His only references are a guidance counselor that he had almost a decade ago and two pastors at his church.

• 

  Largely the same as the other pages except he whines about his websites getting hacked.

• 

  Even his shitty DVD is worth mentioning apparently.

• 

  He wants to put the dang, dirty trolls to rest.

Downloads

• Original résumé