Chris's resume
On 9 September 2009, Chris's résumé finally surfaced onto the Internet, through the effort of a troll with a friend who worked in an HR department.
Analysis
As is to be expected, for someone with no discernible skills and extremely limited work experience, the résumé is less than impressive. No less than three times Chris pads his résumé by claiming his "volunteer work" for Pokémon league events at The GAMe PLACe and other locations as actual work experience (when in reality he had no authority, and in fact was himself closely monitored by the actual employees).
Chris's résumé includes a few points where he talks about his desire to work for a comics publisher, such as DC or Archie. However, it's unlikely that Chris has sent any work or a résumé to either company, likely simply uploading it to Monster and waiting for others to contact him (not unlike his Attraction Sign). He is seemingly unaware or unwilling to accept that the industry standard for a professional graphic designer (working for DC or Archie) is not only a well-organized portfolio demonstrating samples of his work but also a bachelor's degree in Graphic Design and demonstrated proficiency in accepted design software such as Adobe Creative Suite. Non-art work experience is rarely considered unless it is mentioned as an essential part of the job description.
His "quick construction skills from scratch" (especially considering that he's referring to constructing decks in a children's card game) would mean nothing in interviewing for the very job he seeks to obtain. Indeed it would be of no interest to any other potential employer, for that matter.
The resume also has a number of CWC style butcheries of well known phrases, such as "Elbow-greased strength" which only serve to make it most nonsensical.
Furthermore, while the field for "job objectives" offers three lines for a succinct answer, Chris, typical of his rambling style, attaches three extra pages of useless junk, thus ensuring that any potential employer will not make any efforts to read the entire résumé.
The résumé
The following is Chris's complete résumé, as it is posted on the popular résumé website Monster.com, with only minor edits for wiki styling.
Contact Info
"Christopher" Christian Weston Chandler
14 Branchland Ct., Ruckersville, VA 22968-9545
Home: 434-990-0198
Cell: 434-760-0848
Cwcipedia/CWC’s Sonichu and Rosechu Site!
http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page
Objectives
I wish to make my Sonichu and Rosechu franchise Official, with getting me paper published at Archie, Marvel, DC or Dark Horse Comics, with continuing work as Comic Book Artist and Story Creator/Editor, good pay, eventual Official Sonichu and Rosechu Merchandise that I, personally, can officially sign-off on and further enforce my nine-year-old copyright with a more peaceful future. (See attached pages for more info).
Experience
[Note: for some reason, Chris listed each experience with an "Experience" heading. It is unknown why Chris did this, but for the sake of clarity, all job experience is collated into one heading.]
Date of Employment: March 17, 2000 – Current
(Self) C.W.C. Comics
Ruckersville, VA
Job Title
- Primary Duties: Drawing, writing, coloring and story-telling the continuing adventures of Sonichu, Rosechu and myself from life, creating from scratch and setting up the first original Sonichu Site, CWC’s Sonichu Site, as well as its sibling sites.
- Functional Skills: Great hand-drawing skills, story-telling and editing, building design from Computer Aided Drafting and Design (CADD), quick touch-typing skills, great Photoshop experiences, good HTML skills.
- Transferable Skills: All of the above.
Date of Employment: June, 2003 – September, 2003
Cutco Cutlery
Charlottesville, VA
Job Title
- Primary Duties: Salesman of their fine cutlery with the patented double-d edges.
- Functional Skills: Good people/social skills, great memorization of the salesman routine (won my boss over greatly with that memorizing).
- Transferable Skills: Good people/social skills, memorizing and swift learning.
Date of Employment: August, 2001 – October, 2001[1]
Wendys[sic] Restaurant
Ruckersville, VA
Job Title
- Primary Duties: Cleaning trays, tables and carpet/tile flooring, keeping the place neat and serving the customers with kind, understanding help.
- Functional Skills: Elbow-greased strength, good people/social skills.
- Transferable Skills: All of the above.
Date of Employment: March, 1998 [sic][2] – June, 2000
Books-a-Million
Midlothian, VA
Job Title
- Primary Duties: I volunteered to help out as the Gym Leader’s Assistant for the Pokémon Trading Card Game league. I have taught many children how to play the game with care and respect, constructed their 60-card decks from their scattered collection with sound thought and speed skimming skills. I also watched over the children as I have played with them in the Pokémon Trading Card Game.
- Functional Skills: Elbow-greased strength, good people/social skills, quick construction skills from scratch, speed thinking.
- Transferable Skills: All of the above.
Date of Employment: June, 2000 – June, 2002
Toys “R” Us
Charlottesville, VA
Job Title
- Primary Duties: I volunteered to help out as the Gym Leader’s Assistant for the Pokémon Trading Card Game league. I have taught many children how to play the game with care and respect, constructed their 60-card decks from their scattered collection with sound thought and speed skimming skills. I also watched over the children as I have played with them in the Pokémon Trading Card Game.
- Functional Skills: Elbow-greased strength, good people/social skills, quick construction skills from scratch, speed thinking.
- Transferable Skills: All of the above.
Date of Employment: June, 2002 – June, 2007
The (Game & Hobby) Place
Charlottesville, VA
Job Title
- Primary Duties: I volunteered to help out as the Gym Leader’s Assistant for the Pokémon Trading Card Game league. I have taught many children how to play the game with care and respect, constructed their 60-card decks from their scattered collection with sound thought and speed skimming skills. I also watched over the children as I have played with them in the Pokémon Trading Card Game.
- Functional Skills: Elbow-greased strength, good people/social skills, quick construction skills from scratch, speed thinking.
- Transferable Skills: All of the above.
School Experience
Professional Education
Dates of Attendance: 9/1/1996 to 6/15/2000 Manchester High School Chesterfield County, Virginia
- High School Diploma with Honor Roll Grades.
- Honor Roll Star Pin awarded at Graduation.
- Certificate for serving on the varsity basketball team during my freshman year.
Academic Education
Dates of Attendance: August, 2000 to 6/1/2006 Piedmont Virginia Community College Charlottesville, Virginia
- Made the Dean’s List with Honor Roll Grades
- Computer Aided Drafting and Design, CADD, Associates Degree
- Computer Aided Drafting and Design, CADD, Career Studies Certificate
References
Susan Hannifan
- PVCC Guidance Counsoler
- 501 College Dr. Charlottesville, VA 22902
- 434-961-5281
- shannifan@pvcc.edu
Reverend Elizabeth Foss
- Pastor of Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church
- 1901 Thomson Rd. Charlottesville, VA 22903
- 434-296-6976
- elizabethfoss22@earthlink.net
- Pastoral Counsoler
- 1901 Thomson Rd. Charlottesville, VA 22903
- 434-966-9636
- revrocky48@gmail.com
Tony Wayne
- Physics Teacher at Albemarle High School/Volunteer Pokémon TCG League Gym Leader
- 2275 Hydraulic Rd. Charlottesville, VA 22901
- 434-975-9300 Ext. 60265
- vastphysics@comcast.net
Job Objective, Full Story
I, Christian Weston Chandler, Birth name: Christopher, born on February 24, 1982 in Charlottesville, Virginia, am an artist with vast experiences in multiple art classes with multiple media throughout my whole lifetime from Green County Primary School to Piedmont Virginia Community Collge, with a diploma from Manchester High School and a degree and certificate in Computer Aided Drafting and Design (CADD) from PVCC.
Since the inspiration and conception of Sonichu, the Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon on March 17, 2000, I have grown further in his stories, plots and adventures in a series of hand-drawn and computer-edited comic books. I also have had and passed two HTML classes, and created from notepad scratch, CWC’s PokéSite 2!, El PokéSite de R.W.C. (Ricardo Weston Chandler was my Spanish nickname given to me during my two years of Spanish in Manchester High), and most importantly, the First and Original website dedicated to Sonichu, Rosechu and their adventures, CWC’s Sonichu Site.
I was also noted twice later in the periodicals of Nintendo Power magazine and PVCC’s The Forum for being the original creator of Sonichu and all. (See Periodical References below)
With the Sonichu Stie originally located at http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm, it stayed online from about 2000 until early 2009, whereas my Sonichu and Rosechu fanbase has grown massively over the years; there were also internet bullies and trolls. And the trolls hacked into and compromised my original Tripod webhosting account. I’ve had to pull the plug on the Tripod account and move on to another webhosting site. The second webhosting account suffered the same fate as the first, and then I moved to GoDaddy. It got hacked too, and so I pulled the plug on all my websites late May, 2009. I stayed off for about two months, then a gal-pal of mine about that time set up for me a start of what is now the New Original CWC’s Sonichu and Rosechu Site; the wikipedia-styled Cwcipedia at http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page. As I have done on the previous site, I have re-uploaded my Sonichu comic pages, and I am steadily expanding further with more stories and character bio pages.
I would like to be paper-published with a comic book company like Archie, Marvel, DC or Dark Horse comics, complete with Official Sonichu and Rosechu Merchandise I can personally sign-off on to follow for my Worldwide Fanbase.
Accept no imposturous substitutes who claim to be me or have any rights on my Sonichu and Rosechu stuff; I stand strong with my continued use of the Copyright © symbol on each of all my books and original singular art pieces and the date of creation of March 17, 2000. I have eye-witnesses at Manchester High of Sonichu’s conception and creation on that date. It also bothers me that the trolls are even selling bootleg copies of my Life DVD, Christian Weston Chandler. Yep…I’m On T.V., which was originally intent solely for family and close friend distribution. Trust one of the trolls to snag a copy and rip the vieos from the six-hour DVD-R.
I became famous without having to leave my house or go out-of-state or city.
After recent realization, on about July 17, 2009, of what I want to do, I wish to make it all official; get me paper-published with a comic book company like Archie, Marvel, DC or Dark Horse comics, with continuing work as a comic book artist and story creator/editor, good pay, eventual official Sonichu and Rosechu merchandise that I can personally and officially sign-off on and further enforce my nine-year-old copyright with a more peaceful future.
“Christopher” Christian Weston Chandler, August 11, 2009
© March 17, 2000 by “Christopher” Christian Weston Chandler.
Periodical References
- Nintendo Power – Volume 179, May 2004, Page 89 – Sonichu’s Cwcville Documentary
- Piedmont Virginia Community College’s The Forum – Volume 1, No. 13, 26 April 2004 – Meet Sonichu – Student Featured in Nintendo Power – By Kari Mitchell, The Forum Assistant Editor.
Chris's Resume Writing Worksheet
The concept of "Most recent" escapes Chris.
Notice how he can't keep himself from including Sonichu in EVERYTHING.
His only references are a guidance counselor that he had almost a decade ago and two pastors at his church.
Largely the same as the other pages except he whines about his websites getting hacked.
Even his shitty DVD is worth mentioning apparently.
He wants to put the dang, dirty trolls to rest.
Downloads
Notes
- ↑ In the Father Call, Chris tells Kacey's Father that on September 11th he was shopping with his mother because he had just been fired from Wendy's.
- ↑ The Pokémon trading card game wasn't released in North America until December 1998, and its official league wasn't founded until the following year.