Sonichu Girls
Sonichu Girls was a webforum for Chris's female fanbase. A "little slice of Heaven" for him. Founded by Sarah May and Cassie, aka CassiRosechu, in December 2008.
Chris's Posts on Sonichu Girls
Cassie e-mailed Chris, informing him that she was a True and Honest Sonichu fan who helped start a webforum for female fans of Sonichu, and asked if he would make an appearance. The idea of a web forum of attractive young women delving into Chris's fantasy world appealed to his sense of narcissism and his hatred of men. Chris made 23 posts over the 20 days he frequented the forum. They are presented here in unaltered form (save for necessary context and explanatory wiki links).
Introduction (December 30, 2008)
| Yes, it's your man of the (Way More Than an) Hour.
I got the e-mail from "CassieRosechu", so I followed the address. Y'all are just simply the Sweetest. I've read my accent/voice was a favorited feature *blush*; I've rarely thought my voice was that alluring, although IMHO, it sounds like a direct-match to Sonic the Hedgehog (anywhere; from the classic and Sonic X shows and all games starting from Sonic Adventure), and when singing I can have a Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby flavor. Anyway, I'll pour a pint of my heart just for y'all. :) Honestly, I don't know why I'm still single either; even my own mother finds me handsome. Yet sometimes after she reminds me of that, I reply, "If I'm so handsome, why won't any women (in person) approach me?" During my Sweetheart Search, while I'm waiting to be personally approached by an "18-(my age at that time and current) Boyfriend-Free, caring, smoke-free, non-alcoholic white girl, to make into a Sweetheart from the ground-up," I did feel lonesome. Yet at the end of each time out to the location, I did feel a sad moment, but I take it with a "That's okay; maybe next time" attitude. But I can tell y'all understand from my past actions that I am honest, dedicated and true, and I truly appreciate that. If anything, that is exactly a neutral fact that I would wish to be fully understood among the worldwide fanbase. Aside from the understood fact, I feel that I am truly in touch with my feminine side, to the point where I am capable of learning from that to better understand how to treat women in a caring, nuturing, positive way; I've also learned from Red Skelton of how to be a gentleman. Sometimes I wonder between my caring attitude and the lack of a Sweetheart if I was born the wrong gender; I would wonder what life would have been like if I had actually been born a girl. But afterwards, I'd realize that I should still apreciate being born a boy to gentleman; God gave me the package, and I signed for it. Another thing I feel I should bring up is my honest feelings to validate my being Straight (although it goes without saying). I honestly feel more comfortable around women, because y'all are mostly more sympathetic and caring to another's feelings, y'all are mostly honest in your converstations, y'all are emotionally better and stronger than the majority of the male population, and simply put, y'all are simply fun and delightful to be around. And while it is true (and I am not ashamed to admit it) that I have seen my share of porn, I have learned how to better, positively treat a woman before, during and after the act. I would definitely stay until she woke up, and I would call her back later to see how her day was. And I have and would put the seat up then back down when I use the restroom she would use later. But I digress. When it comes to the private parts, be they covered or not, I look more at the female parts, and definitely her face, because not only of my being straight, but every one is truly a masterful work of God's art that is simply beautiful in their own way. But even more beautiful beyond that which makes it truly a wonderous design are the individual personalities. I care more about every woman's feelings and opinions over their body. On the flip side, I feel discomfort around men, because they can be such mean and cruel jerks. I could go on with what I detest about them, but I will not stoop to their level of cruelty. Also, I feel discomfort when shopping for underwear for myself; they do not need models pictured on the package. It grosses me out to see that thing. It's bad enough that I sometimes see my own when I look down (of which I don't feel as much discomfort), but the very sight of others is like kryptonite to me; it makes me feel like throwing up even when the image randomly pops up in my head. I'm okay; I just took some deep breaths. I want to thank y'all again for treating me like a King, not just with respect, but with emotional understanding of my feelings. And y'all do not need feel inhibitation in personally approaching me in public *blush*; shoot I would honestly feel most flattered and would personally/emotionally benefit from it (I would most welcome it). Y'all know I live in Ruckersville, Virgina, and I can be found in the Charlottesville area when I'm out and about. Please feel free to say Hi or offer a hug or what you each feel is comfortable at the moment. Love & Peace, Christian W. Chandler. ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com PSN ID: Sonichu |
The Sonichu Girls were naturally ecstatic at Chris's arrival.
Thank Y'all (December 30, 2008)
| Aw shucks. *Blush* I love you all too. You all are soo sweet. XOXOXO Thank y'all for your supporting compliments and empathetic understandings. :) |
The Girls continued to fall over each other in their expressions of devotion and joy, and a few began to message him.
Your understanding me fukky (January 1, 2009)
| Wow! Y'all flatter me with your enthusiastim. Y'all don't have to fight over little ol' me. (Although I may go for the first gal who meets me in person IRL. Just Messin') :D I love you all.
Also I have a couple of received Qs that I will answer now. I was being literal when I talked about my fangs. They're called Eye-Teeth, but they feel and look like fangs of a vampire, dpg or something to me. ¨I vant to thuck your vlove and vlood.¨ :D Which brings u# the next Q; I have not seen the movie ¨Twilight¨ yet, but I have watched the trailers, and it looks okay; I'll catch it after it becomes available on DVD and Blu-Ray. IMHO, I have neutral opinion of vampires; some are good, sme are vicious. If I personally knew one, I would not judge him/her; I'd respect them as equally as most women or men. That is allfor now; I have finally finished coloring the 18th episode and completed the #8 Sonichu Comic Book. I will have the pages uploaded by January 5. I hope each of you will be pleased. And it makes me feel better that you all fully understand Rosechu's stripping protest against wrongful portrayls of women. I truly feel that women should only be portrayed as they truly are individually; strong, powerful, smart, beautiful and equal as human beings. And when anyone draws a true woman with a dick, they have broken not only the legal law, but God and Jesus' law to the extent. But I digress. Your understanding me fukky means a Priceless Lot to me, and I feel truly blessed. Thank You All. :) |
An obvious early question was, "What do you gurls think Chris would be like in bed?"
Big talk for a virgin (December 30, 2008)
| I would certainly do my best to sastify, even though it's big talk for a virgin who's seen enough to get by. ;) |
"CassieRosechu" replied:
| chris, im 20, but im a virgin still, ive been savin myself for someone who loves me, and I really want to find someone who's as sensitive as u.... but i guess thats 2 hard, so ill just save myself for you...
a gal can dream... :) |
"Crystlrosechu" replied:
| virginity is a specil thing, u cant just pop the cork for just any occasion. likewise im a virgin, i wanna save it 4 som1 special ^^ maybe chris? |
Chris's response was noncommittal and ambiguous, a foreshadowing of the chaos to come:
Elated Stud (January 2, 2009)
| Y'all are soo sweet. And Crystal is correct; my virginity is special, just like everyone else's, and I would want my first time to be special. I do not mean to start a conflict among all of y'all angels, but IMHO, if I were to choose one among y'all, I'd give it to either Cassie or Sarah. Cassie led me to the forum, and Sarah put it together in the first place. But to be fair, I am open to any of y'all who are capable of coming to meet me IRL; you all each, in your own way on here, have already Wowed and Won me over honestly and openly. :) XOXOXO
In due time, upon your own individual capabilities, I would Love very much to personally meet and hang with each and all of you, sweet ladies. If y'all aren't careful, you could turn me from a frustrated virgin to a stud. :D LOL I feel soo elated and blessed. |
There was additional concern about Chris's availability when a Sonichu Girl uncovered disturbing evidence on the forum Gay4Sonichu that Chris might be a homo. She started a topic titled "CHRIS IS STRAIGHT! THAT MEANS NONE OF YOU CREEPY GAYS CAN HAVE HIM!! >:(." Chris offered reassurance.
Take out the "G" word (January 1, 2009)
| No worries. I am straight! That's my Fact, and I am sticking to it. :) Just ignore those Homos who smite me with their lies.
Keep a happy thought. Also, if someone can, please take the "G" word out of this topic's title. Peace, Christian C.[1] |
Rosechu replied:
| As you wish, Chris-chan! Is this better? Sorry if it's a little over-the-top, but I got a little angry as I was thinking of a name..[2] |
To which Chris had to say:
Great Director Chandler approves (January 1, 2009)
| It's okay. thank you for caring. :) |
Quickly, the Sonichu Girls gave Chris his very own subforum, "Chris Says," allowing him to pronounce upon the pressing issues of the age. The first message concerned the breaking news that, thanks to fan input, Nintendo was about to adapt Sonichu for their game Animal Crossing.
Thank You.:) (January 2, 2009)
| My only current thought is about my recent learning of Sonichu and Rosechu in Animal Crossing City Folk. It Is Legit, and I have officially approved it. I will copy and paste the e-mail I have received, confirming this.
Hello, I am Takashi Tezuka, the general producer of Animal Crossing: City Folk. While working at Nintendo, I have heard about your original character, Sonichu, from many of my co-workers who read emails sent from your fans who were asking for a Sonichu game. I eventually received a message from Shigeru Miyamoto that we at Nintendo should take the first step into creating a Sonichu game. That is why I am programming in two new characters into Animal Crossing: City Folk: Sonichu and Rosechu. Once they are released, we will find out how popular Sonichu and Rosechu are with the Nintendo community. If a large number of players enjoy Sonichu and Rosechu, we will create a Sonichu game with the help of Sega. We have already contacted them about our plan, and are anxious to see the results of our little test. We are almost finished with the Sonichu villager, and are almost ready to start on Rosechu. I have attached a few photos of our prototype Sonichu neighbor, and we would like your feeback on it. Currently it is only in its beta phase, and we should be able to release it on February twenty-fourth. We did run into a slight problem due to a little b it of error, though. In our testing town, WiiConnect24 was left on, and our latest Sonichu beta villager moved out of our town. Luckily, we were able to create a backup of the electric hedgehog villager, so nothing was lost! The only problem is that a handful of players may have recieved a Sonichu villager early. I hope to get your input from our current project, so please email me back with your feelings on our Sonichu/Rosechu project at this address: animalcrossingnintendo@usa.com Kindest regards, Takashi Tezuka, General producer of Animal Crossing and leader of the Sonichu-Alpha project.
And with this, I declare another step forward in the Sonichu Game project, and the downfall of that Impostor, Jimmy Hill. I have also informed them of Sarah Mitchel's message of Sega of Japan leaning to pay the impostor, but Takashi will most certainly step in and avert the mistake from being made. Then hopefully, with their help, I'll be able to claim the copyrights in the UK that should have been mine in the first place. I already had them from the Virginia Library of Congress. Anyway, when I have new thoughts, I will be sure to add them to this topic. Love and Peace to y'all. <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 Christian C. |
Over the next few days, Chris became especially enamored of one PandaHalo, upsetting many of his female fans. "Rosechu" attempted to keep the piece by providing a quotation from Chris (original source unknown):
| "Pandahalo is not a troll. I know, because I have chatted and talked with her on Skype; her voice is lovely. Anyway, she was entrusted with vital information that enables her to be webmaster of the Sonichu Fan Site page, which is a Subdomain of Sonichu.net. If Pandahalo was a troll, she would have messed up Sonichu.net for an evil, but as you can plainly see, Sonichu.net is still Sonichu.net; unaltered from its originality. Again, Pandahalo is NOT A TROLL, and should be treated and respected as a Sonichu Girl Fan. -Chris-chan"
I understand many of you have concerns, but we should listen to Chris and be happy for him. Thank you. :) |
Pokeboy
| If you all will recall, I had mentioned the idea of creating a one-time magazine of pictures of the Rosechus (minus Zapina, since she's underage) being sexy in underwear or naked, as a protest of mine against the ED jerks who drew dicks on my female characters and women in general; the heinous, slanderous act still infuriates me. But I withold my rage. A Sonichu Girl asked me when I was going to draw the comic of the Rosechus stripping in protest, so I felt I should put it to a popular vote.
Would you all like to see the multiple pages of the Rosechus being sexy in underwear or naked in the protest against those jerks in the Playboy parodied magazine, or do you all feel I would be crossing a line doing so? If the popular vote is good, I will draw up the magazine either before or after drawing and coloring my #9 Comic Book, depending on how I feel. I'll make my decision based on the popular responses after a week to a month's time. Thank you all again for understanding my true meaning behind the stripping protest. :) Love and Peace. |
Chris's Hair
Cassie, co-founder of Sonichu Girls, asked Chris for locks of his hair so all the Sonichu Girls can have them as souvenirs. Because Chris can't say no to a pretty lady (or a dude pretending to be one), he went to the trouble of cutting his hair and placing the locks into small baggies with a certificate of authenticity signed by The Big C himself. Due to the Mexican postal service [insert derogatory joke about Mexicans here], it took several months for the hair to reach Cassie. When it finally did, it was a shock.
Cassie described the hair as being "greasy" and having an odd odor. While Chris promised 200 locks of hair, only 23 packets were made. Chris included a letter to Cassie, in English and Chris's butchered version of Spanish, with each side having a Sonichu drawing, where the Spanish side has Sonichu in a sombrero (you know, BECAUSE ALL MEXICANS WEAR OVERSIZED SOMBREROS).
The Letter in English
| Dear Cassie,
I hope you and your family are well. I apologize for not writing in a while, and I hope my spanish in this letter is good. :) Good. I Like a Love and Peace, |
The Letter in Spanish
| Hola, Cassie,
Yo espero que estar bien, y tú familia están bien tambien. Yo lo siento que Bien, yo piensé qué yo debo enviar mí "samples" de pelo yo dividí para tu y su amigas de Sonichu Girls, incluia Sarah May. En esta "envelope", hay viente y tres tarjetas con mí pelo. Yo siento un pequito mal que no puedo dividir dos cien tarjetas durante el tiempo. Tenía veces mal mucho y veces bien tambien. Yo pienso bien que tu comprendes bien, y yo tengo muchas gracias para ti para comprender. :) Como un amigo bueno, yo te amo. |
The Spanish Letter, translated into actual Spanish
|
Hola, Cassie Espero que estés bien, y tu familia también. Siento no haberte escrito durante tanto tiempo, y espero que mi español en esta carta sea correcto :). Bueno, pensé que debía enviarte unas muestras del pelo que pude dividir para tí y tus amigas de Sonichu Girls, incluyendo a Sarah May. En este sobre hay veintitrés mechones de mi pelo. Me sabe mal no haber podido hacer 200 tarjetas en este tiempo. Últimamente he pasado muchos malos ratos y ninguno bueno. Sé que lo comprenderás, y te lo agradezco de corazón :). Te quiero como un amigo sincero, Cassie Amor y Paz, Christian W. Chandler. |
The Spanish Letter, translated into English
| Hello, Cassie
I hope that to be well, and you family are good too. I regret it that it was not I wrote to you during so time much. And this I hope my Spanish here is well. Good, I thought what I should send me "samples" of hair I divided for your and its Sonichu girl friends, includes Sarah May. In this envelope, there are 23 cards with me hair. I feel a little bad that I can't divide two a hundred cards during the time. I had bad times many and well times also. I think well that you understand well, and I have many thanks for you in order to understand. As a friend good, I love you. Love and peace, Christian W. Chandler. |
Gallery of Hair
Now future generations of trolls will be able to clone Chris so they can have their own manchild to troll.
The entire packets of hair, ready for distribution to loyal Sonichu Girls (read: trolls and especially homos from rival Gay 4 Sonichu)
Chris went to the trouble of making a certificate of authenticity for each lock packet. You know, to keep people from cutting their own hair and claiming it to be Chris's.
Letter accompanying the hair.
Spanish translation of the letter.
All the packets.
And the actual hair.
Sonichu Girls revealed
On 23 February 2009 (the day before Chris's birthday), the Sonichu Girls forum was revealed to be nothing more than a fake fanbase created by Clyde Cash. The board itself then morphed into a message board to possibly be used by The Miscreants. In his post, Clyde made it very clear that Sonichu Girls was an attempt to troll Chris.[3]
References
External links