Difference between revisions of "Chris humps his PS3"
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{{Quote|I humped it for eight [[Obesity|sweating]] minutes, and I just gave you the song and dance [...] If I am NOT satisfied with FULL Return of my Accounts AFTER I WENT THROUGH ALL THAT MOTHERFUCKIN' [[Stress|TORMENT AND TORTURE]], it will be ON your head and In your [[Dreams|nightmares]].|Chris to [[Jack]]<ref>[[Jack Thaddeus E-mails Part 3]]</ref>}} | {{Quote|I humped it for eight [[Obesity|sweating]] minutes, and I just gave you the song and dance [...] If I am NOT satisfied with FULL Return of my Accounts AFTER I WENT THROUGH ALL THAT MOTHERFUCKIN' [[Stress|TORMENT AND TORTURE]], it will be ON your head and In your [[Dreams|nightmares]].|Chris to [[Jack]]<ref>[[Jack Thaddeus E-mails Part 3]]</ref>}} | ||
On 24 [[July 2009]], a video of [[Chris]] '''humping his beloved [[PS3]]''' was leaked onto [[4-cent garbage]]'s /v/. In it, Chris makes love to his "Life Upgrade" for eight minutes, although he can only stay standing for the first minute. What might at first seem to be just an impressive display of fanboyism is actually a desperate plea for the return of his international [[PlayStation Network]] accounts, seemingly being held to ransom by the irrational expert hacker [[Jack Thaddeus]]. | On 24 [[July 2009]], a video of [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] '''humping his beloved [[PS3]]''' was leaked onto [[4-cent garbage]]'s /v/. In it, Chris makes love to his "Life Upgrade" for eight minutes, although he can only stay standing for the first minute. What might at first seem to be just an impressive display of fanboyism is actually a desperate plea for the return of his international [[PlayStation Network]] accounts, seemingly being held to ransom by the irrational expert hacker [[Jack Thaddeus]]. | ||
Chris himself sat in on an [[IRC (23 July 2009)|IRC chat]] where a coterie of [[trolls]] planned the making of the video, where he believed that he had effectively hidden his identity. Bits of Chris's monologue are simply repetitions of what he heard during the chat. | Chris himself sat in on an [[IRC (23 July 2009)|IRC chat]] where a coterie of [[trolls]] planned the making of the video, where he believed that he had effectively hidden his identity. Bits of Chris's monologue are simply repetitions of what he heard during the chat. | ||
In his wisdom, Thaddeus never returned the PSN accounts to this day. | In his wisdom, Thaddeus never returned the PSN accounts to this day. | ||
<br clear="right" /> | <br clear="right" /> | ||
==Video== | ==Video== | ||
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| Subject Matter = {{Power|text}}, {{Sex|text}}, {{Video games|text}} | | Subject Matter = {{Power|text}}, {{Sex|text}}, {{Video games|text}} | ||
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]] | | Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]] | ||
| Performance Style = {{ | | Performance Style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Crazy|text}} | ||
| Saga = {{PS3_Hacking|text}} | |||
| Shirt = [[Image:BlueTshirt.png]] Blue T-Shirt | | Shirt = [[Image:BlueTshirt.png]] Blue T-Shirt | ||
| Other = {{Leaked|text}} | | Other = {{Leaked|text}} | ||
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| label3 = Give (X) Count | data3 = 23 | | label3 = Give (X) Count | data3 = 23 | ||
| label4 = Jack Thaddeus Count | data4 = 17 | | label4 = Jack Thaddeus Count | data4 = 17 | ||
| label5 = Number of Humps | | | label5 = Playstation Count | data5 = 14 | ||
| | | label6 = Number of Humps | data6 = 1173 | ||
| label7 = Avg. Humps Per Second | data7 = 2.23 | |||
}} | }} | ||
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[''He moves to his side again.''] I don't know if I could do this any better. But I'm giving this thing a damn, damn, damn motherfucking hump! [''[[sigh]]s twice, before sitting down and continuing to hump''] Heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, mother...fucking heavy...motherfucking heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy...like a woman, with...heavyweight body type and damn...G...cup...breasts. It's a torture. It's a...pain, making me have to do this for 8 damn minutes. [''stands up again''] So, damn. [''sits down again''] Damn, damn, damn, emdamn, damn, damn, UGH damn. Jack Thaddeus! Jack Thaddeus! Jack Thaddeus! Jack motherfucking Thaddeus! Give me back my PlayStation Network accounts and [''grabs the [[PSEye]] and moves it lower''] hold up your end of the bargain like you promised and leave me the motherfucking alone. Go bother somebody else you damn...[''panting and sighing''] | [''He moves to his side again.''] I don't know if I could do this any better. But I'm giving this thing a damn, damn, damn motherfucking hump! [''[[sigh]]s twice, before sitting down and continuing to hump''] Heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, mother...fucking heavy...motherfucking heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy...like a woman, with...heavyweight body type and damn...G...cup...breasts. It's a torture. It's a...pain, making me have to do this for 8 damn minutes. [''stands up again''] So, damn. [''sits down again''] Damn, damn, damn, emdamn, damn, damn, UGH damn. Jack Thaddeus! Jack Thaddeus! Jack Thaddeus! Jack motherfucking Thaddeus! Give me back my PlayStation Network accounts and [''grabs the [[PSEye]] and moves it lower''] hold up your end of the bargain like you promised and leave me the motherfucking alone. Go bother somebody else you damn...[''panting and sighing''] | ||
Jack Thaddeus! Jack Thaddeus! Jack Thaddeus! Give me back my PlayStation Networks account, you expert hacker! You, you ir—rational expert! Motherfucking...burning-in-hell...hacker! I don't even know how you even got the damn information about those 5 in the motherfucking first place! Jack Thaddeus, ['' | Jack Thaddeus! Jack Thaddeus! Jack Thaddeus! Give me back my PlayStation Networks account, you expert hacker! You, you ir—rational expert! Motherfucking...burning-in-hell...hacker! I don't even know how you even got the damn information about those 5 in the motherfucking first place! Jack Thaddeus, [''whining, with his voice cracking right at the end''] GIVE ME BACK MY PLAYSTATION NETWORK ACC-''HOUNTS!'' | ||
This hurts! OH, this hurts! OH, this mother...fucking...hurts...uh...mother...uh...uh...uh...motherfucking hurts. Give me back my PlayStation...Network...'counts. [''moves the camera closer''] Oh, and some...motherfucking...master...of obvious social inquiries with DAMN drug deals, DAMN cocaine, GOT A family somewhere, someway or another...Alex being one of your damn relatives somehow, no idea, but give me back my...PlayStation Network accounts, yi motherfucking idiots. This really is a paaaain! It hurts, it hurts, because...the dang, dang 'ing is...so motherfucking heavy. I love PlayStation! I love PlayStation! [[The_MovingForward_videos|Kill the Xbox!]] New reason why they call it the motherfucking 360. You look at it makes you turn around--[[IRC_(23_July_2009)| makes you do a 360 and walk away]]. Very appropriately called is a damn 120, 130 whatever, [[Chris and mathematics|whatever the half of 360]] is. [''stops, then continues''] | This hurts! OH, this hurts! OH, this mother...fucking...hurts...uh...mother...uh...uh...uh...motherfucking hurts. Give me back my PlayStation...Network...'counts. [''moves the camera closer''] Oh, and some...motherfucking...master...of obvious social inquiries with DAMN drug deals, DAMN cocaine, GOT A family somewhere, someway or another...Alex being one of your damn relatives somehow, no idea, but give me back my...PlayStation Network accounts, yi motherfucking idiots. This really is a paaaain! It hurts, it hurts, because...the dang, dang 'ing is...so motherfucking heavy. I love PlayStation! I love PlayStation! [[The_MovingForward_videos|Kill the Xbox!]] New reason why they call it the motherfucking 360. You look at it makes you turn around--[[IRC_(23_July_2009)| makes you do a 360 and walk away]]. Very appropriately called is a damn 120, 130 whatever, [[Chris and mathematics|whatever the half of 360]] is. [''stops, then continues''] | ||
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* [[Mass debating]] | * [[Mass debating]] | ||
* [[HEXBox]] | * [[HEXBox]] | ||
{{References}} | |||
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Cwc dare]]|nextlink=[[CWC "Boyfriend"]]|}} | {{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Cwc dare]]|nextlink=[[CWC "Boyfriend"]]|}} | ||
{{Articleofthenow}} | |||
{{PS3Saga}} | |||
{{Power videos}} | {{Power videos}} | ||
{{Troll Videos}} | {{Troll Videos}} | ||
{{LeakedVideos}} | {{LeakedVideos}} | ||
[[Category:Sony]] | [[Category:Sony]] | ||
[[Category:PS3]] | [[Category:PS3]] | ||
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, July 2009| 2009-07-24]] | [[Category: Chris-chan videos, July 2009| 2009-07-24]] | ||
Latest revision as of 19:16, 22 July 2024
| Manipulation Disclosure: The views Chris expresses may or may not be his own. Many of Chris's videos were orchestrated behind the scenes by trolls putting ideas in his head or goading him to act out; the majority of these interactions was never released to the public. |
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This article is rated M for Honest Content
It may contain content deemed not safe for work. Reader discretion is advised.
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| “ | I humped it for eight sweating minutes, and I just gave you the song and dance [...] If I am NOT satisfied with FULL Return of my Accounts AFTER I WENT THROUGH ALL THAT MOTHERFUCKIN' TORMENT AND TORTURE, it will be ON your head and In your nightmares. | ” |
| Chris to Jack[1] | ||
On 24 July 2009, a video of Chris humping his beloved PS3 was leaked onto 4-cent garbage's /v/. In it, Chris makes love to his "Life Upgrade" for eight minutes, although he can only stay standing for the first minute. What might at first seem to be just an impressive display of fanboyism is actually a desperate plea for the return of his international PlayStation Network accounts, seemingly being held to ransom by the irrational expert hacker Jack Thaddeus.
Chris himself sat in on an IRC chat where a coterie of trolls planned the making of the video, where he believed that he had effectively hidden his identity. Bits of Chris's monologue are simply repetitions of what he heard during the chat.
In his wisdom, Thaddeus never returned the PSN accounts to this day.
Video
| Chris humps his PS3 | |
| Stardate | 24 July 2009 |
| Subject Matter |  Power,  Sex,  Video Games
|
| Performance Style |  Rage,  Crazy
|
| Saga |  PS3 Hacking
|
| Shirt |  Blue T-Shirt
|
| Other |  Leaked
|
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous Cwc dare |
next CWC "Boyfriend" |
| “ | Sony will reign in the console wars. | ” |
| A man humping his PS3 | ||
Transcript
| Statistics | |
|---|---|
| |
| Damn Count | 42 |
| Fuck Count | 21 |
| Give (X) Count | 23 |
| Jack Thaddeus Count | 17 |
| Playstation Count | 14 |
| Number of Humps | 1173 |
| Avg. Humps Per Second | 2.23 |
[Chris moves the camera, holding his PS3, then begins humping it while standing to his side.] Oh, ...damn you Sack Thaddic—Jack Thaddeus, give me back my PlayStation Network accounts. I'm. So. Damn. Stu. Pid. I've. Got. A. God. Damn. Mother. Fuckin'. 6. Inch. Cock. With. 4. Inch. Di. Am. Ih. Ter. BAAAAAWWWWWWLS. I hope you—-uh...gimme back. My. Play. Station. Network. Accounts. [He moves to the center.] Givem back to me, begging you...humping...nearly...on...mother...fuckin'...knees. You are...so...damn...this...is...the...worst...of...black...mail. Give me back my Play...Station...Ne--Network accounts. All...5...of those out-of-country a--ccounts.
[He moves to his side again.] I don't know if I could do this any better. But I'm giving this thing a damn, damn, damn motherfucking hump! [sighs twice, before sitting down and continuing to hump] Heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy, mother...fucking heavy...motherfucking heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy...like a woman, with...heavyweight body type and damn...G...cup...breasts. It's a torture. It's a...pain, making me have to do this for 8 damn minutes. [stands up again] So, damn. [sits down again] Damn, damn, damn, emdamn, damn, damn, UGH damn. Jack Thaddeus! Jack Thaddeus! Jack Thaddeus! Jack motherfucking Thaddeus! Give me back my PlayStation Network accounts and [grabs the PSEye and moves it lower] hold up your end of the bargain like you promised and leave me the motherfucking alone. Go bother somebody else you damn...[panting and sighing]
Jack Thaddeus! Jack Thaddeus! Jack Thaddeus! Give me back my PlayStation Networks account, you expert hacker! You, you ir—rational expert! Motherfucking...burning-in-hell...hacker! I don't even know how you even got the damn information about those 5 in the motherfucking first place! Jack Thaddeus, [whining, with his voice cracking right at the end] GIVE ME BACK MY PLAYSTATION NETWORK ACC-HOUNTS!
This hurts! OH, this hurts! OH, this mother...fucking...hurts...uh...mother...uh...uh...uh...motherfucking hurts. Give me back my PlayStation...Network...'counts. [moves the camera closer] Oh, and some...motherfucking...master...of obvious social inquiries with DAMN drug deals, DAMN cocaine, GOT A family somewhere, someway or another...Alex being one of your damn relatives somehow, no idea, but give me back my...PlayStation Network accounts, yi motherfucking idiots. This really is a paaaain! It hurts, it hurts, because...the dang, dang 'ing is...so motherfucking heavy. I love PlayStation! I love PlayStation! Kill the Xbox! New reason why they call it the motherfucking 360. You look at it makes you turn around-- makes you do a 360 and walk away. Very appropriately called is a damn 120, 130 whatever, whatever the half of 360 is. [stops, then continues]
Ugh, damn, damn, damn, [stands up] damn, damn! Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn! Jack Thaddeus! Give me back my PlayStation Network accounts I love PlayStation Sony reigns, Sony will reign in the console wars. No matter who argues. Fuck the 3 fits—360 fanatics. Fuck them all to hell. Shot to hell. Damn them all. What the fuck. They're all motherfucking idiots. What the fuck. Damn, damn, damn, damn. Jack Thaddeus! Jack Thaddeus! Give me back my PlayStation Network accounts. All 5 of those...out of...United States of America accounts.
Give 'em...all back. Give 'em all back. Give 'em. Give 'em all back. Ugh. [sits down again] Give 'em. Give 'em. Give 'em. GIVE 'EM. GIVE 'EM. GIVE 'EM. Give 'em back. Jack Thaddeus, motherfuckin' bastard. Think you're so, oh yeah, you so tough. You think you man. Some day you're gonna fall. You're gonna fall...and...God help you when you fall. You'll be down to hell, but I guess you don't care 'bout that, you're just a...motherfucking prince of hacking and torturing. Give me back my PlayStation Network accounts, you Jack Thaddeus. Ugh. Ugh. Oh, Jack Thaddeus. Jack Thaddeus! Give me back my motherfucking...PlayStation Network accounts.
Hey hey, yeah yeah, I don't like your boyfriend. No way, no way. Girl, I think you need a new one. Hey hey, yeah yeah, girl, woman, I could be your boyfriend. 'Cause...I am damn straight. Uh, damn rumors on the Internet from damn trolls make a mockery outta me and everything I do. That's...drawn me down to...quit drawing 'cause I lost motherfucking inspiration. Uh, damn, Jack Thaddeus give me back my PlayStation Network accounts.
Fan videos
| Idolchu | |
| Stardate | 24 December 2017 |
| Made By | Craig Smith |
| Subject Matter | Why The iDOLM@STER abandoned the HEXBOX... |
| TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos | |
See also
References
| ⇐ Cwc dare | Chris's videos | CWC "Boyfriend" ⇒ |
 PS3 Hacking Saga
| ||
People: Chris (JenkinsJinkies • Bill Riley) • Clyde Cash • Jack Thaddeus • Surfshack Tito • BlueSpike • Samantha Thaddeus • Katie Bay • Liquid Chris • PandaHalo | ||
| The Games: | The Prizes: | |
|---|---|---|
| Coinciding Sagas: Clyde Cash, Julie, Tito, First Exile, Jackie, | ||