Catherine

Chris's drawing of himself and Catherine as two kneeling female angels, flirting their skirts.

A Lego depiction of Catie and her captor, from 17 August 2014. Notice Chris's skirt and heels, and the padlock around Catie's neck.

Catherine Sorrentino was, according to Chris in mid-2014, his latest sweetheart. Little is known about her personally, only that she wasn't real and admires trolls lonely, crazy men. She was almost certainly white, and younger than Chris, as his preferences preclude anything else. The two are believed to have met on OKcupid when Christian discovered that "Catie" was a 97% match (which guarantees she's destined to bear his child) and pursued her.

Unlike other women in his life, Chris decided to keep the identity of Catherine anonymous during July 2014, safeguarding her discovery by anybody else.

It was revealed late in the saga that Catherine normally went by Catie; Chris didn't call her by this name until he had "broken up" with her.

Background

Catherine--or rather, the troll masquerading as her--had multiple real-life experiences with Chris, which shed some light as to how Chris's behavior towards women has deteriorated even further over the years. As shown below, her account tells tales of Chris simply refusing to take "No!" for an answer, despite her telling him that their outings were not dates. The Catherine Saga consisted chiefly of Chris harassing Catie by sending her unwanted letters and photos of himself in drag, being verbally abusive to her and her friends, telling her he was "entitled to a relationship," and in one infamous moment molesting her when she told him to back off. Though Chris only hugged her against her will, this sort of attitude could lead to something a lot worse.

The relationship

In the summer of 2014, Chris revealed that he had found himself a new sweetheart. The first public signs of her appeared on 29 August, when a member of Kiwi Farms made a post about an autograph and a drawing sent to her by Chris. The drawing, signed 18 August 2014, contained a note in the back in which Chris claimed to have a girlfriend. On 31 August 2014 Chris claimed on Facebook to have had a date with his girlfriend on that day while wearing a Britney Spears perfume. On the same day he also changed his Facebook relationship status from "single" to "in a relationship". According to the status change the relationship began on 9 July 2014.

On 2 September 2014, Chris tried to guilt Catherine into committing to him by sending her his vows, showing that Chris wanted to be in a relationship with Catherine, how he was entitled to be in a valid relationship with a sweetheart and how depressed he was.

On 5 September 2014 Chris used Facebook to tell his eBay customers that the commissions they have ordered will be delayed due to Chris being busy with his girlfriend.

On 11 September, Chris posted this Facebook status:

I want to make something very clear. My Girlfriend and Sweetheart is Very Real; she is NOT a Hooker or Prostitute. And I certainly am Not spending money on Hookers or Prostitutes. Although I sincerely do feel sorry for them all and having to do what they do for a living. My Mother and I do have our own expenses, NOT DIGITALLY RELATED, that we are paying off, and the minimums are growing steep. And my mother still needs her dental work, and we do enjoy eating good food like most everyone, including You! Please Remember and Respect that about us, about most everyone, and about Yourself!

During the start of October 2014 Chris sent his master copy of the newest CD he'd made to his sweetheart Catherine, but a thief somehow acquired it and posted it on Kiwi Farms for the world to see. To the CD thief's surprise the CD had information pertaining to the anonymous sweetheart's name but tragically not her appearance. It also, much like one he once made for Cole Smithey, only contains music HE likes.

In early December, to little surprise, it was revealed on the Farms that Catherine really was (as many had suspected) just a troll. It is yet unknown whether or not Chris knows this.

The date

Main article: Catie Date Conversation Transcript

Main article: IRL Tour of 14 Branchland Court

Main article: Rental House Tour

Catherine went on two real-life outings with CWC, the first of which was considered a date by both parties. Her horrifying account is below:

I approached the first date with Chris like most people approach online dating, you just set up some lunch or coffee date or some shit and see if you can tolerate one another without the computer screen. Except that I knew I was going to have to hand-wave and tolerate an awful lot of crazy shit, most of the early Catie interactions online were a lot like any budding online friendship via a dating site. When I started out, it was entirely on my own with no involvement from Christorical figures and trolls. I didn't expect to get anywhere. Most would-be trolls don't. So there was no plan for an irl meeting since I'm too chicken to go it alone. When I got advice/help from other Christorians, that's when we put the idea together for a date. I think I did refer to it as a "lunch date" or something like that, but it was the same routine I've gone though from online dating before. I tried to keep the Catie interactions as normal as possible, as weird as that probably sounds. Chris wanted to spend an entire day together, go bra-shopping at Target with him, wanted me to spend the night and watch movies with him, even asked me what I like for breakfast so he could buy it. It would have been kind of nice behavior if it weren't the first time he was going to meet this woman. I told him a few times that I wasn't going to spend the night with him, but he persisted in believing I would. It took place the last weekend in August because it took a while to coordinate. By then, Chris had been chatting with "Catie" for about four weeks. My "Cousin Al" came with me so I wouldn't be alone with Chris at Applebee's. It was set for like 2pm or something but Chris told me he always likes to be half an hour early for dates (all two of the ones he's had in his life?), so WE had to be there early so we could get there first. This is a rundown of the date itself from right after: 12:45pm: Arrived in Charlottesville. We knew Chris would be early since he said he was "always early for dates" though he's had all of like three dates in his life including this one. Took a few mins to adjust before going in and getting a seat. Faced the door so wE could see him coming. 1.10pm: VISUAL CONTACT ESTABLISHED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Al spotted him first in the car park, said, "It's either Chris or an ugly old woman." He looked right at us and I waved, and he sorta waved back, but got seated separately because autism. He was two booths down. I bit the bullet and went over. He wanted me to use some shitty-ass stupid pickup line, "What's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?" But I just asked if he was Christian. He all but leaped up and squawked, "CATHERINE! YOU'RE HERE!" Then he side hugged me before I could employ evasive tactics and I led him to our table. The look on the waitress's face was priceless. She may need serious therapy after this. Chris was wearing a red T-shirt and grey undershirt, his "kilt" (really some old lady style plaid skirt to the calf) with turquoise tights, and grotty sneakers. I hoped he would wear high heels, since he said he likes wearing them. His hair looked like straw, probably from the bleach he used to use, and he had a silver hairband and green earrings. He had on blue eyeshadow and purple eyeliner and red lipstick that appear to have been applied by someone with advanced Parkinson's. He smelled very strongly of what we later found out was that Brittany Spears purfume. He shook Al's hand and used hand sanitizer. He seemed genuinely amazed I was even there. 1.30 - 3.30pm: The date went really well. Chris had some trouble with volume control when we talked about Jerkops and we asked a lot about his conspiracy theories. He thinks Snyder bribed the police to beat him up and ran into their car himself and there are still trolls making it impossible for him to get work. We pressed him for details on his corruption conspiracies because we wanted to see how depraved they were, under the pretense that he could sue for millions. But after he couldnt come up with good answers he stress sighed, and we changed the subject. We asked after Barb's teeth. She has really bad cavities apparently. The rental is secured through November, according to Chris. Chris expects Catie to move into 14BC with him and Barb. He had previously expressed willingness to move to [another town in Virginia] with Catie, but he's either changed his mind or forgotten or both. Chris thinks Barb could handle little kids in the house too, when Al asked how he would have a family living with his mother. Chris thinks Barb would be a great babysitter and caretaker, so I guess there goes Chris's plans to be a House Husband. He kept trying to hold my hand so I negotiated lunch like a t-Rex with strumpy little arms. Then he tried footsie under the table. And he stared at my tits a lot. I kept hoping Cousin Al would say something but he never did. In retrospect I should've called him out on it. Barb's family apparently also think Barb is a useless drunken whore too. (Note: a few days after the meeting, Chris told me that when Barb was young, she aggressively went after her sister's husband or fiance. I think it might have been Cousin Harriet's husband, Tom. Anyway, the family concluded that Barb is a shitty person and pretty much wrote her off, except Aunt Corina for some reason. Tom and Harriet still occasionally exchange pleasantries with Barb, but won't let her visit or even tell her their address.) Chris now tips 15%; I gave the waitress all my singles and wrote "I am so sorry you had to see that, you're a trooper!" on the check. 3.30pm: We were going to escape to the "mechanic" where Catie's car was, but Chrissy wanted to follow us. When he offered to show us 14BC, we took him upon it. We followed him even though Al knew where we were going. Chris seriously drives like my demented old grandma who doesn't have a license anymore because she kept going the wrong way up one way streets. Chris said, "This isn't how I imagined bringing a girl home!" The place is.... Bad. Much smaller than I thought it would be, too. Its overgrown and there is broken glass everywhere. Everywhere you look there's STUFF, all garbage. Bob's old workshop is full of rubbish. His greenhouse is doing slightly better but not much. There's an early 90s Cadillac in the yard covered in plant growth that hasn't been moved since the fire, they want to sell it and expect $2000 - $5000 for it. Al expressed interest in buying some of Bob's records and chris was pretty happy about that. More Lego money!! 4pm: We go to the rental. It is literally stacked to the ceiling with stuff in places, no exaggeration. Chris occupies both upstairs rooms, one is full of Lego (including melted, warped fire damaged Lego, a lot of it), and the other has his same grotty bedding from the old house. He keeps a pic of Catie on his nightstand and practices kisses on it. I should have told him that was creepy as hell but at the time I was just way too stunned that he even had it there. He introduced me to Bob via an old picture. He kept putting his arm around me and getting creepy too close so I kept moving around and fake sneezing. I thought it was because he's creepy, Al thinks it's his autism, but it's likely both. Funnily enough he mentioned earlier that his experiences with Megan taught him NOT to do that touchy creepy thing. He was bragging about it. We looked at his yearbooks. Physically handled them. He has two from his Seinor Year. They smell smoke damaged but aren't too bad. I never found out why he has two yearbooks, I think he said Barb gave him an order form and Bob also did. Nobody signed either, Chris seemed surprised at the suggestion that people sign yearbooks at all. Barb was actually very pleasant. But I know abusive people: the mask of normalcy is their cover. She said I was very pretty and we chatted about family history and Cole nearly dying of a sinus infection when he was nineteen. Barb thinks the insurance agent hates her because she is "too smart" for them and too shrewd, rather than being a cantankerous old harpy. The Chandler's pets pee and shit in the house on newspaper because they're too lazy to take them for walkies. The dogs are untrained, hate strangers, and are at least twenty pounds overweight. Their bellies all but drag on the floor. One nearly bit me when I offered to let it smell me. When we made our escape, Chris said, "You asked what a girl like me was doing in a place like this?" (No Chris!!) "Well I'm waiting for the sweetest most honest woman in my life!" And put his arm around me to kiss me so I sneezed again to get him to back off. I waved at him when we got into the car and he still thinks I blew him a kiss. He gave me a goodie bag of shit, mostly My Little Pony related. There were the two pictures he drew of me, and the CD. There was an MLP iPhone case because he also wanted to take me shopping for an iPhone to put on his plan so he could call me as much as he wanted. I turned him down but he said I could regift it. No clue what happened to it at this point.

The bowling outing

Catie's elective suffering didn't stop there. She treated herself to another outing with Chris, which she insisted was platonic. The outing didn't end well, with Chris refusing to be just friends. She has provided some description:

The dog's situation is really bad. I didn't know how bad until the second outing, and now months later I'm angry that I didn't do anything about it. There's just so much insanity in dealing with Chris that you sort of lose the ability to react any further. The second outing nearly didn't happen because of a bunch of personal, car, and logistics issues on everyone's part. Barb had to go deal with the insurance/rental people because the insurance wasn't going to pay anymore rent for them because, I guess, they expected the Chandler house to have been rebuilt by then. It was almost eleven months by that point, after all. So Barb was away from home and Chris called me saying he couldn't leave the house without his mom there. He suggested I come 'hang out' at the rental, but no way was that happening. When I asked why he couldn't leave, he explained the dogs couldn't be left alone. Why? Well, Barb and Chris have never, ever, EVER left then home alone. Ever. If errands need to be run, then someone has to stay home with the dogs or the dogs have to come with them and wait in the car. Chris claimed they would "destroy the house", tearing up furniture and chewing everything and peeing and crapping and basically all the bad things dogs are capable of doing. He said it like this was totally normal, that all dogs must do this since his dogs do it. I told him that that's what bored/frustrated/understimulated animals do, but he brushed it off. I was stunned, but also trying to salvage the meetup. Chris said he'd wait til Barb was home, but after he found out it could be a few hours until she got back, he came up with this stellar plan: he was going to load those dogs into his car and leave them there while we bowled and had dinner! Dey like da cawr, mmm! I desperately tried to dissuade him from this, and when Al and I stopped for gas, I got the Virginia SPCA phone number and resolved to call them and anonymously report if Chris had those poor animals in his car. (I'd slip away to the ladies', but for all I know Chris would have followed me since girls always go in pairs, teeheehee!) Barb turned up last minute and so we never got to see the SPCA Saga. Now I'm wishing it had happened. But when you deal with Chris, there's so much crazy going on that you basically run out of reactions. I wish I had done something.

Chris wanted to kiss me after the second outing (which I adamantly declared was not a date, several times, which Chris refused to accept), and I said no. That's weird, that's creepy, we aren't dating.... NO. He asked for a hug, instead, and I still said no because I said it felt uncomfortable since we weren't dating. So instead he "walked me to the car" and as I was getting in he just half climbed in after me and hugged me really awkwardly, bent in half since I was sitting down, face-down in my tits. His hair smells awful and his hairline is like half back on his head. It was one of many moments where I was so stunned I couldn't meaningfully react.

How Chris screwed up so soon

Main article: I Love You, Catherine

On 28 September, Catherine and Chris had recently had a dispute over Chris's abysmal financial situation. To make matters worse for our hero, Catherine visited New York for her friend's bachelorette party, leaving Chris lonesome, frustrated, and paranoid about her sleeping around. During this visit Catherine went on a sail boat ride with a man named Colin. Catherine viewed her relationship with Chris as an open one but Chris didn't view it that way, and confessedly insulted Colin about going on the boat ride with her, outraged at the romantic connotations. Catherine then received word about Chris's outburst in front of Colin and chewed Chris out for it. Chris, for the first time in a long time, caught a heartache, because he acted like a sleazebag towards Colin. On 4 October he proceeded to upload a video where he apologizes for how he acted. In the description he states he will "become a better Lesbian Transgender Sweetheart and Partner".

I Love You, Catherine
Click to load content
Search for video	YouTube, archive
Stardate	4 October 2014
Subject Matter	Galpals Love
Performance Style	Reason Reason, Tragedy Tragedy
Saga	Tomgirl Tomgirl, Catherine Catherine
Shirt	Manchester Sweatshirt
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
previous Hello, my sweety baby	next To Mr. Smith

Leaked Information

Catherine (and others) provided many leaked media from Christian during 2014.

“	Yes, we could be Gal Pals, but you Have to also realize that I still have the Ugly Growth that if we were in bed, you could enjoy this near seven incher damn cock!	”
This is verbatim what Chris e-mailed to Catherine.

Chris sent Catherine the following photos in an attempt to entice and seduce her:

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  Lesbians everywhere, hold your orgasms!

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Between 16 and 18 September, Christian assured Catherine he no longer has crushes on his gal pals, although past evidence suggests otherwise. He refers to Catherine as his "TomBi", presumably some sort of tomgirl/tomboy neologism.

Subject: Unknown Date: 16 - 18 September 2014 From: Christian To: Catherine Rebeckah forwarded your concerns to me. I assure and promise to you, Catherine: I did not have a crush on Tiffany at all during High School. The only time that would be considered contrary was at the Seinor Prom. No one had asked me to dance, and I went there with my mom. Tiffany asked me to dance with her; it was good. But with the learning of the set up arrangement last year, and upon recollection and reflection, that was probably a set up arrangement as well. My High School crush was Kellie Andes. But then I had heard a rumor near graduation about her going outwith some other dude. And I lost touch. I was moreover not over the Friendships of ALL of my High School Gal Pals: Tiffany [x], Kellie [x], Sarah [x], Molly [x] (who is still a friend, and on my Facebook Friends List), and Miranda [x] (who I still have never found anywhere online, so she is undecided). Aside from Kellie, I did not have the deeper feelings for any of my gal pals, but I still was close with them, I cared about them as my friends, and I definitely felt comfortable around them. Seriously, I was totally Naive on the subject of Dating throughout High School, even though I had a sexual education class. Which led me to my later idea of encouraging Dating Education Classes alongside Sexual Education in High School. Anyway, Kelly blocked me on Facebook a few years ago, and l have gotten over her well over a decade ago. And last August to October, while I was totally on getting the Class of 2000 Reunion going on the 15th year, since the ten year reunion did not work out. I also built the original Lego High School building, before the fire last January, which melted the top portion and about the back walls of the building. I still am glad I rebuilt it with renewed dedication to Manchester High. When I was contacting as many classmates as I could last year, I talked with Sarah Bevel, and eventually, She was the one in Mid-October who totally devastated my High School Memories by being the first to tell me that their friendships with me were a set up that occurred between my father and the principle. I became More VERY Upset and Sad! sigh And with the bullying from Sarah and Tiffany since then, I really wanted to know Why the hell they hate me for other than no reason. I was mostly over all of that before you found me on OKCupid. And then, just recently when I was messaged the link to Tiffany's Facebook. Yeah. So anyway, while I am feeling more crestfallen about that, I am more into the relationship between you and me, Catherine. You continue to care about and love me; as I still do for you too. That matters a lot more to me. You do not have anything to worry about here, my TomBi! Sent from my iPhone Stay Safe, Christian W. Chandler

Pictures of the "Relationship Vow" card by Chris were leaked, showing Chris's vow to Catherine for their Relationship as Sweethearts, Soul-Mates and Partners.

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Transcription

from Christian Weston Chandler 9/2/2014 to Catherine My Vows to Catherine for our Relationship as Sweethearts, Soul-Mates and Partners. I, Christian Weston Chandler, of sound mind and body, to Catherine With this (my Class) Ring, I take thee, Catherine, to be my Sweetheart, Lover and Girlfriend, in our relationship with mutual loyalty, devotion, trust and companionship. And I solemnly Vow... -to maintain respect for you as my partner. -to remain a good, loyal, honest and supportive partner to you. -to keep any and all information about you, sensitive and whatever else, secret and Strictly Confidential between the two of us alone, unless you specifically specify such a detail to be shared with another trusted person in our lives. -to fully maintain honesty and loylty (sic) to you at all times, now and forever. Even when and if I should feel need for a break, or to find fun with anyone else, -I vow to inform you of such times and with who, and all other details. of such. -to keep you topmost on my heart and soul (alongside my mother, who remains of my utmost loyalties, honesty and such that goes in the mother-child relationship, respectfully), and all relate priorities as well. -to remain (inserted: emotionally and mentally) open to you forever! -to be fully open for your emotions, feelings, concerns, ideas, opinions and most everything else therein. -to be supportive to and for you as best of my abilities as possible, as well as offering my own constructive thoughts, deeds and actions to honestly and hopefully turn out for the better for you. -to add more Vows to this list as we continue on with our relationship as they come about and when they come about.

On 17 December, more media were leaked: his recently-written apology letters he wrote to Fashion Square Mall, Wal-Mart and Mary Lee Walsh and a never-before-seen Christmas video in 2004 which was from the Director's Cut version of his Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) DVD.

The End

“	I am feeling sad. While she still wants to be friends, Catie just told me she does not want to be in a relationship with me; essentially dumping me.	”
Chris confirmed in an e-mail that he and "Catherine" are no longer together.

Despite having concluded their last outing together with blatant sexual harassment, Chris seemed cognisant in December of the fact that Catie was not interested in pursuing the relationship.

On 5 December 2014, it was revealed to the masses on a CWCki Forums thread that Catherine, like sweethearts past, was a female troll posing as a Boyfriend-free girl.

Five days later, Chris confirmed in an e-mail to Renee that they are no longer together. However, it still remains unknown whether Chris knows that Catherine doesn't exist at all.

Backlash

Main article: Trolls#Today

When it was revealed that Catherine wasn't real, many Kiwi Farmers were disappointed. After all, having female trolls assume a persona and "date" Chris is hardly new. Not only this, but many of them felt that Chris no longer deserved to have his life controlled by trolls, and that he'd suffered enough.

Poetically, however, later the same month Chris alienated his sympathizers after he assaulted an innocent person with mace and broke two other laws in the process. This deranged behavior had nothing to do with troll activity; Chris undertook these actions entirely on his own impetus. This suggests that Chris's insane antics will come to pass irrespective of what trolls may do.

Timeline

• Early July: Chris creates an OkCupid profile.
• July 9: First correspondence. Chris will later claim the relationship began on this date.
• August 15: Chris writes (and sends?) his three apology letters, saying that he and Catherine "Deeply love each other."
• August 18: Chris calls Catherine his "girlfriend," in note to CWCki Forums member.
• August 29: Chris's status as taken is publicly revealed on the forum.
• August 31: Applebee's date. Chris changes Facebook status to "in a relationship." Catherine receives two drawings and a CD of herself.
• September 2: Relationship vows sent.
• September 13: Chris goes to pride festival.
• September 16: Chris gets the un-clit.
• September 20 (approx.): Dildo washcloth email.
• September 28–29: Chris–Catherine–Colin love triangle.
• October 4: Chris makes an apology video for Catherine.
• October 8: Chris sends Barb's letter to Colin.
• October 10–12: Catherine tells Chris that she does not want a romantic relationship. Argument with Colin over voicemail and text.
• October 31: Chris visits gay bar.
• November 2: Chris gets rejected for sperm donation.
• November 20: Chris posts on VoyForums offering to donate sperm to lesbians.
• December 4: Chris re-pierces his taint.
• December 5: Catherine publicly revealed as troll.
• December 10: Catherine dumps Chris. Chris is "drifting back into sadness."
• December 12: Chris removes the unclit.
• December 12-14: Text argument between Chris and Catherine.

See also

• Catherine E-mails
• Open Relationship E-mails
• Three-Quarter Woman
• Colin Chats
• Rebeckah Bentley E-mails