Mailbag 12

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Mailbag 12 was uploaded on 8 December 2009 and scheduled to be answered on the same day. Instead Chris answered Mailbag 11 on the 8th (a day late), and has yet to answer this one. He'll probably get to it when he's less stressed.

Despite Christian's pleas, the emails concerning Asperger's and Homosexuality continue to stream in. If anything this mailbag has the highest aspie and homo ratio yet. Other highlights include Grrrlpowaanow and the 2d love dude striking back with a vengeance and Chris receiving his first villain fan OC: an evil gay sadist clown electric hedgehog pokémon.

Awaiting Answers

From: jimmychina@virginia.usa.com

Hey Chris,

In my lifetime (of 27 years) I have amassed a large collection of video games and toys, many of which I don't play with very often. Unfortunately, in the same lifetime I have also collected a large credit card debt, and it seems the only way to pay it off is to sell most of my collection because I've done little with my life and own nothing else of value. Naturally, I don't want to do this.

What should I do?

Jimmy China


From: Brad Newman <peoplepeople91@hotmail.com>

In response to my fanmail message:

"That, my friend, is False Love, and NO True Love and Compassion will ever come out of that. You have my pity. Go out and find yourself a Real Woman and you'll be able to love her more than some static clone."

I am greatly offend by this. I feel REAL HONESTLY TRUE LOVE with my 2D wife, Kafuka Fuura. She makes me feel happier than any real women has ever been able to make me.

I thought you understood love, CWC, but I guess not. It's all just sex and physical contact to you.

P.S.

Xbox Live only requires the $50 a year membership to play games online. You can download as much stuff as you want with the silver membership.


A wild, gay, S&M, clown sonichu appears!
From: Sonichu Super Fan 1 <mayorteroh@hotmail.com>

Thanks for your honest answer, CWC, in return im sending you this character for you to use as you see fit, it a sonichu that has parted of the straight path, and his goal is to do the same with every sonichu, with his whip he can induce bad thoughts upon his enemies, you can name him.


From: Boyd Raymond <boydindahood48@yahoo.com>

I noticed that a lot of the characters in your comic are Methodist, like you, so I was wondering, as mayor of CWCville, is it required by law that you have to be a Methodist, or are there people in CWCville who have other religions (and, if so, who are they and what are their religions)?


From: Besarion Jughashvili <besarionjughashvili@rocketmail.com>

You are an inspiration to everybody with a family member on the autism spectrum.

Last week our son, Joseph, was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism. A family member told us about you, and we were amazed at how far you came. We just KNOW that Joseph can become as great as you.

So, do you have any advice for us?

How did your parents raise you?

What kind of therapies did they put you in?

What kind of tv shows were you raised with?

Do you support Neurodiversity and Autism rights? Do you support curing autism?

And last of all, what you think the cause of autism is? Do you think it is genetic or from environmental factors?

Very thanks,

Besarion and Ketevan


From: John McTavish <apittanceoftime@gmail.com>

How, exactly, was Harry Potter ever competing with Pokemon? That makes no sense. They're two completely different franchises intended for entirely different demographics. Never mind that Harry Potter (although having movies and games made from the license) is known primarily as a series of books.

Please don't tell me you just read some offhand statement in Nintendo Power and passed it off as fact.

Rejected Mailbag

Chris is not suitable for children

From: Nate Hughes <quickzta68@yahoo.com>

Dear sir,

It has come to my attention that my sister has sent an e-mail to you without my permission. She called it a "CWC mailbag" when I confronted her about it. Now, she's 12 years old, so I did some reading on you, and I DO NOT APPRECIATE that my little sister's hero is 27 years old and lives with his parents, craps his pants on a regular basis and acts like an all around retard. This one video really gets to me. "I Got A Fish, Would you like to make a wish"????? That's like something a fucking two year old would make up. And I NEVER went shopping for "How to talk to girls", Jessie made that up too, just so you know. Grow up, and stop targeting children, you creep!!!!

Sincerely,

Nathan Patrick Hughes, Esq.

You have offended me, sir.

Autism Mailbag

Chris "misspoke"

From: Johnny Marcus <johnny2day67@yahoo.com>

Hello again Chris, I noticed that you recently responded to someone's question regarding autism and Asperger's syndrome, and you explained that it only occurs later in life. I was diagnosed with Asperger's at the age of 3, and it is something that I have been coping with for all my life. There are also many, many children out there who have Asperger's and have all the symptoms associated with it. How can you explain this?

Cheers, Johnny

I misspoke, but my opinion stays the same.

Chris the thankful

From: Brad Newman <peoplepeople91@hotmail.com>

Hello again, Mr. Chandler.

I noticed your ongoing debate on Asperger's and felt the need to contribute.

It's not a matter of opinion. Asperger Syndrome's definition is a FACT and it's not something that is exclusively diagnosed later on in life. I personally know a couple people who were diagnosed with it when they were in preschool. Just because you decide to shut your mind off from stuff you don't agree with doesn't make it any less true. Accept it and relieve yourself of this ignorance.

I have read your input, thank you for it.

In which Chris gets offended by something he's said to loads of people

From: Levi Johnston <hockey90@alaska.usa.com>

Dude, WTF?

My son has Downs Syndrome! Kids with Downs Syndrome (or any kind of Autism) are over 350% more likely to become homos than normal people.

He needs a strong male influence in his life, otherwise he may reject males as friends and see them as lovers instead! Gross, man!

Also, I am extremely offended that you think I need a job. You don't have a job; does that make you less of a person? Does not having a job make you less worthy of True and Honest Love?

Dude, you really need to stop offending your fans, okay?

Laters, Levi

You, sir, have offended me with your badmouthing.

Let me get back to you on that

Homophobia VS greed

From: Demetrius Delicioso <malebuttfinder@live.com>

Dear Mr. Chandler, I am so pleased to see the success and views your CWCipedia gets regularly. I am also so proud to see that you have accepted advertising for Gay Rights. That's why I want you to be an advertising Partner of mine! I would like you to be another kind of Partner as well! ;)

I would like to propose that you sign a contract with my new gay dating agency based in Charlottesville. MaleButtFinder would love to pay you $1000 each month for ads on the CWCipedia!

Thanks, Demetrius Delicioso

Grrlpowaanow's last stand

From: grrrlpowaanow@aol.com

This will be my last email.

In response to me "letting myself go" in my messages to you, I have not. I am upset and hurt by the things you have said to me, yes, because you are saying disturbing, rude, hurtful, non-Christian things with no regard for anyone but yourself. However, I have never threatened you nor have I attacked you. I can't say the same for you: you typically have let anger get the best of you, and have threatened to kill Clyde Cash and that impostor (even drew a comic where you shot him with a gun!) many, many times. I've seen the videos and so has my Bible group. Jesus and the Bible taught us that wrath is a deadly sin, Chris, and I am saddened that They could not teach you the same as evidenced by you stomping around on camera like a spoiled toddler and threatening to break people dead. Shame on you.

I would say, once again, that even though sex is a "natural" act, it is not an act that should be done before an audience. God intended sex to be between one man and one woman and no more, not two pornographic actors and an audience, nor is it meant to be done for reasons other that procreation.

However, there is no point in discussing the Bible with you when it is clear that you have never read the whole Bible and will not listen to those who have when it criticizes how you live (remember what you said about criticism? well you're a naive hypocrite for not being able to swallow you own medicine, which is shocking, since I hear you're able to swallow much harsher, saltier stuff). In one video, you say Family Guy taught you about Leviticus. You're, what, 25 years old, and you had never read Leviticus until some sinful cartoon show that takes the Lord's name in vain taught you about it? It's hard to believe you're that naive and I pity you.

I ask only that you do not pray for me. I do not wish to be dragged into Hell with you (and that's where you go for breaking God's law, the Holy Bible). You have lost a fan in me, you have lost fans in my church, but saddest of all, you have lost a fan in God and Jesus. I pray for you.

Well, it's not the rejected section...

From: Crystal Chondlar <crystalchondlar@gmail.com>

This has to stop, Chris. You're calling people with Aspergers retarded when it is a much higher functioning mental handicap than you have. You're telling people to get a job when you sit around and do absolutely nothing every day. You're telling people to take criticism like a man when you make that fucking annoying stress sigh and ignore any you get. LOOK IN THE FUCKING MIRROR, DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU ARE DOING?

Putting me in the rejected section (again) will prove what a spineless fuckup you are, I look forward to seeing this there.


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For Truth and Honesty, see the archived CWCipedia page on Mailbag 12