Mailbag 58

Mailbag 58 was uploaded to the CWCipedia on 20 February 2010.

Awaiting Answers

From: Reimu Hakurei <diochromatic.butterfly@gmail.com> Dear Chris, I recently lost my job and I barely have any money to pay rent. It's hard to even find a decent job especially in this economy. My local newspaper didn't even have anything in their Classified section, that's just sad!. I'm not on welfare because I don't like the idea of using other people's money. I considered becoming a stripper because I make as much as people throw money my way but I don't like the idea of men leering at me with their eyes. What should I do?

From: Takato Matsuda <goggleheadtakato@gmail.com> Hi! My name is Takato Matsuda and I am 11 yrs. old and live in Japan. You said that you believe that anything anyone draws becomes real and exists in a different universe. I think that is really cool! I really hope it is true! I drew a digimon. I named him Guilmon! I hope he becomes real and comes find me so we can be friends. Here is a picture of him! The writing on the side says Guilmon because that is his name. I think it is pretty good, but you are an artist so you probably know better. What do you think? It is hand drawn and hand colored so I think you would definitely approve of that. I drew it at school and did not have all my markers and pencils with me so it is only in 2 colors. I hope you do not think it is bad because of that. Bye! http://i45.tinypic.com/25qat95.jpg

From: Sam Beckett <quantumleap85@rocketmail.com> Sonichu and Rosechu both call you father. That makes them brother and sister. Incest is wrong, Chris. It's sick, your comic is sick, and you're sick.

From: majickwithouttears@disciples.com I noticed that your birthday is coming up! Happy birthday! My church taught me that one's birthday is the most important holiday of all. Would you agree with this? And what do you have planned for your birthday? Are you going to have a big party or just a small celebration? What's on your wishlist?

From: Billy Bob <tehpwnzorbob@googlemail.com> Hey Chris, I just saw Kel's team on the CWCipedia and realised that it had some obvious weaknesses to fighting, rock and ground, some of the most common attacking types. Naturally, seeing as you have spent so long playing Pokemon and are so skilled, your team must be far superior, without these amateurish weaknesses. Would you mind telling me what your team is (if you have one), and if you're good, do you want to battle some time? We can do it over Shoddy Battle or something. Thanks!

From: Jamie A. <hightechlowlife@hotmail.com> As much as I enjoy your comic and youtube updates, I (and a few fellow fans I've chatted with) have been kind of disappointed at the neglect you've been showing your Juggalo fanbase. Juggalos are a family and we support you, but it would be nice to get a shout out from you every now and again too. Any plans to introduce a Juggalo Sonichu or at least break out the face paint again in the future? Thanks! -Jamie

From: thecozumel@usa.com Hey, when will Sailor Megtune return to the comic? She was my favorite character and I hate that she hasn't been in the comic since forever.

From: crossbluegrey@writeme.com My grandfather recently had to be put on adult diapers. What adult diapers do you use and recommend?

From: socalledgelett@bikerider.com You once said that you aren't interested in dating people with mental handicaps. Is this still true? If so, don't you think that makes you a hypocrite? After all, you have one.

From: pagan666@atheist.com My friends at the Church of Satan and I love Sonichu. Our favorite thing about it is all the black majick you practice. We love the Curse-Ye-Hame-Ha. Can you teach us how to perform this curse in a future video? We would really appreciate that. Also, how did you manage to bring your dead dog back to life? We've tried everything from sacrificing goats to virgin blood, but nothing will bring my Poochie back. What's the trick? Hail Satan!

From: Peter Joseph Arthur Wellington <pjawellington@hotmail.co.uk> Greetings Mr Christian Weston Chandler. I want to reassure you first of all that I am a big fan of yours and that I really appreciate your comics. I want to draw your attention to a pretty serious matter though. You claim to be a descendent to Anne Boleyn, but Anne Boleyn only had one child - Elizabeth Tudor, also known as Queen Elizabeth I of England. Her Majesty quite famously remained a virgin her entire life, something that we British people are very proud of. In fact we are so proud of her virginity that we named a part of America after it in honour of it: Virginia. The state in which you live in is proof enough that you cannot be related to Queen Elizabeth I or Anne Boleyn. If you continue to say that you are, you will be tarnishing the good name of our most popular historic ruler. You are upsetting a lot of English people and causing them a great deal of stress and offence, and so I advise you to drop this foolish claim that any English person knows cannot be true. I do not wish to cause you stress or offence Mr Chandler, but you need to be warned that you are causing the millions of British people worldwide undue amounts of mental trauma and disrespect.

From: Super Greg <super_greg_ownsya_mom@hotmail.com> Hey Chris-Chan. Big fan! I love all the content you've been putting out lately, but I was wondering about something. How come you stopped making videos displaying your grand amounts of strength? I found them very inspiring and I wish there were more. Maybe make some with you doing sit ups or jumping jacks or any other various exercises. Thanks.

From: Sean Watley <seanawatley@gmail.com> Chris, I actually haven't smoked pot for years and years. It's kind of silly that you assume I'm some kind of huge drug addict just because of my comic strip's subject matter. It would be like me assuming that you're actually a mayor of a city full of Pokemon and Transformers because that's what you write about in your comic. Now that I think about it, do YOU smoke pot? It would explain the laziness, your weight, why you sit around playing video games all day, and your idea about cartoons being real in another dimension. Not that I have anything against pot, I just think people shouldn't blow their welfare money on drugs (video games, too). Also, I'm finishing the Sonichu Christmas story. Mine is a lot more "true and original" than anything you've written. In mine, Sonichu and Rosechu live in a cheap motel and sell their bodies for crystal meth. I'm doing it now because real artists complete seasonal things months in advance, instead of waiting until mid-December to start working on Christmas stuff. Oh, and in your Christmas story nothing interesting or important happens, so there's no reason to read it. Your fans will enjoy my version much, much more. The opening pages are available on the Asperpedia, along with other comics that don't suck. Sean

From: Kaiser Wilhelm <worldwarfun@gmail.com> Why did you say Moon-Pals isn't any good because it's a parody? Sonichu is a parody of Sonic and Pokemon.

For Truth and Honesty, see the archived CWCipedia page on Mailbag 58