Mailbag 17
Mailbag 17 was uploaded on 10 December 2009. On 13 December, Chris answered some of these questions, rejected some others, and filed the others in his various not-quite-rejected-but-fuck-you-anyways folders, yet still had time to write a paragraph or two of A Soncihu and Rosechu Christmas Story.
Awaiting Answers
Fun with editing
| From: Jorge Rodriguez <r.jorge72@yahoo.com>
Chris, Much like you, I am a straight male, but everybody thinks I am a homosexual. They told me the only way to prove I am straight is to make a video of myself making out with a Woman Yours in the bear, Jorge Rodriguez P.S. You mentioned that when you see a dick, you get disgusted and look away, but what will you do if you're changing your son's diaper? How can you change his diaper while not looking at him? |
Chris added the italicized words and strikethroughs. At this point he might as well just write his own damn fanmail. Template:Emailreply
Chris's receding hairline disagrees
| From: jromans73@aol.com
What kind of hair products have you tried? I noticed in some of your newer videos that your hair is thinning and you are going bald so I was wondering what products you tried so far. Have you tried Rogaine? - Joe Romans |
| Firstly, I am NOT going bald, and second, I use AXE brand Freeze Anti-Dandruff Shampoo & Conditioner. As portrayed in ALL their comercials, AXE is for the Straight Man to help them Get and Keep Their Woman. Now on the Playstation Network for Free, Download the NEW Smooth Jarvis Theme where it further proves that AXE is for the everyday Straight Man. And go Pits-To-Chest with the AXE brand Deoderants as well, availble in most retail stores. --ChrisChanSonichu 04:56, 14 December 2009 (CET) |
Too bad it will never happen
| From: Bret Kinney <bretkinney@gmail.com>
What would you do if you DID get married? |
| Live the everday American life as a Happily Married man and Father. |
Hamsty tackles the hard issues
| From: Hamsty the Hamster <hamstythehamster@gmail.com>
How do you feel about Barack Obama's stance on health care? Do you feel the stimulus has done its part to strengthen America or has it worsened the economy? Why or why not? Do you believe Joe Biden is doing a good enough job? Why? Do you believe in global warming? Why? |
| It is fair, but America is NOT ready for Obama's plan yet, because we can not afford it yet. The yearly stimulus helps well; it's more money in our pockets to spend as we wish. Joe is doing what he can. I am against global warming, because it would be terrible for the Earth. |
Chris has thought about this way too much
| From: jpopstar666@aol.com
If you woke up one morning to find you were a female, what would you do? |
| Actually, I had imagined that situation before and thought about it, in the scenario where I had a mind/body-swap with a woman. Firstly, I would be surprised, but I would maintain my cool. I would contact my cell or home number, talk to the other person in my body, and get the news of her daily routine, and I would tell her mine, and we'd go along as such until we switched back. --ChrisChanSonichu 04:56, 14 December 2009 (CET) |
| From: John <jpala821@mail.com>
"Autism is Not Genetic; it comes from a shot the doctor's optionally give to the child after birth. --ChrisChanSonichu 05:48, 10 December 2009 (CET)" - You said you got your "Autism" from your babysitter, and now you're saying doctors give Autism shots!? Are you lying to your true and honest fans like you have lied to Megan, Kacey, and a whole bunch of other people in your life let alone serious about this statement!? I am insulted by this, as it made my decision to not only abandon supporting your comic, but also give you the cash you need to get rid of those ads, Mr. Chandler. Congratulations on isolating another Sonichu fan. |
| From: Chris Hutchinson <menchib@gmail.com>
Hello again Chris! You just proclaimed in your latest comic that you went to the future and had awesome sex with your future wife! Congratulations! Now my question is, do we get to find out who your future wife is soon? We're all dying to find out! And secondly will your future wife ever find out that a past version of her husband came to the future to rape her? Thanks again Chris, keeps those awesome comics coming! |
| From: Sacha <lordbeluga@gmail.com>
Salutations Christian, Consider this hypothetical scenario; say that your Adult Chronicles game idea were to be instead adapted into a Live-Action movie (like Dragon Ball Zs recent Transition to the Big Screen) and by some strange, Twist of Fate, you weren't able to star in the movie as yourself, who would you choose to Fill Your Role? Which actor do you think possesses your Likeness the most? Who would play Sonichu and Rosechu? Who would you get to direct? Much Regards, Sacha |
Rejected mailbag
Chris did not move the first three emails to the Rejected Mailbag, instead choosing to delete them entirely. For someone obsessed with the idea that his creations are parody, he is apparently incapable of dealing with the genuine article. This marks the first time since Mailbag 2 that Chris has failed to save rejected emails.
Chris cannot handle parody
| From: Alec Benson Leary
Christian, First of all, I wish to say how sorry I am. I have nothing but the greatist respect for you and your artistic talent, I only meant to show you how awesome I think Sonichu is. I NEVER meant to suggest that Sonichu was a despicable HOMOGAY. I only wanted to show ASPERCHU and his brother Sonichu having good, godly, STRAIGHT fun together as friends and brothers. So to make up for my previous error, I have created a completely NEW image to show how they are both manly men enjoying the joys of brotherhood. Your friend and protege, Alec Benson Leary |
Chris still cannot handle parody
| From: Sean Watley <seanawatley@gmail.com>
Chris, http://sonichuisgay.thecomicseries.com I absolutely will not "stop the presses." This isn't CWCville where you can tell everyone what to do. Furthermore, you gave the go-ahead to this in your November 25th blog. Part of obtaining a copyright for a product or idea is that you retain creative control over what merchandise gets produced. Now you've relinquished that control to anyone who wants to create their own Sonichu merchandise or comics. Since Sonichu is a comic with a large homosexual following, I'm simply catering to consumer demand by having your male characters engage in explicit gay sex at every opportunity. Also I couldn't help but notice you didn't comment on "Sonichu is Dead," where all your characters are killed off one by one. Are you implying that death is preferable to being gay? Maybe I'm reading too much into this. Have a nice day, Sean August Watley (P.S. When the Gay Sonichu sex toys roll off the assembly line sometime in 2010, I'll be sure you get free samples.) |
It will probably be several weeks before Chris figures out how to unsubscribe from this
| From: Gay & Lesbian Leadership SmartBrief <lgbt@smartbrief.com>
As lead editor, I'd like to thank you for subscribing to Gay & Lesbian Leadership SmartBrief, a summary of the most important industry news delivered to your inbox 2x/week. You'll receive your first newsletter shortly. In the meantime, please visit (and bookmark!) our Web site for breaking industry news and an archive of past issues: http://www.smartbrief.com/news/lgbt To ensure smooth delivery of Gay & Lesbian Leadership SmartBrief, be sure to add lgbt@smartbrief.com to your address book. If needed, please whitelist the following domains: smartbrief.com and dailylead.com Also, be sure to share the newsletter with your colleagues via our Tell-a-Friend system: http://www.smartbrief.com/news/lgbt/passiton.jsp I am so pleased to welcome you to our community and look forward to having you as a subscriber. If you have any questions or comments, don't hesitate to contact me at lgbt@smartbrief.com. Best, Robert DiGiacomo Lead Editor |
The cure for morons
| From: Johnny Winter <winterjohnny@ymail.com>
Hi Chris! I recently read your spoilers regarding your return from the time void and it left me with one question: 1) When you briefly visited the future and recieved the shot of the straight gene to cure you, why didn't you think to ask them for the cure for being slow in the mind as well? Thanks and I can't wait for issue number 10! |
Strike City
| From: gay_luvr_1979@homosexual.net
|
Once again, the strikethroughs were added by Chris for some unknowable reason.
Imitable acts
| From: jdavs5000@aol.com
My son was recently suspended from his school for a day for "kicking [another student] in the genitalia." When I asked him where he learned that shit, he told me "from Sonichu." Having no clue about this Pokeman shit (I'm not a ten year old kid), I looked it up as well as your Sonichu drawings. While I support people standing up for themselves, what kind of pussy resorts to dirty fighting and hitting a man in the balls? Not a real man, I'll tell you that. What are you, Chris? 12 years old? I'd think so, judging by how you "fight" and all those fucking toys and your baby ass drawings. Take my advice: grow up, grow a pair, get a fucking job, and move out of your mom's house. You're a burden on your goddamn parents, and not because you're handicap, but just because you're a fucking lazy slob who never grew up. |
Autism Mailbag
In which Chris fails to man up to what he said about autism shots
| From: John <jpala821@mail.com>
"Autism is Not Genetic; it comes from a shot the doctor's optionally give to the child after birth. --ChrisChanSonichu 05:48, 10 December 2009 (CET)" - You said you got your "Autism" from your babysitter, and now you're saying doctors give Autism shots!? Are you lying to your true and honest fans like you have lied to Megan, Kacey, and a whole bunch of other people in your life let alone serious about this statement!? I am insulted by this, as it made my decision to not only abandon supporting your comic, but also give you the cash you need to get rid of those ads, Mr. Chandler. Congratulations on isolating another Sonichu fan. |
Let me get back to you on that
In which Chris ignores a bunch of perfectly reasonable questions
| From: Super Woyzeck <superwoyzeck@hotmail.co.uk>
Dear Christain I have some issues I would like clarification upon: 1. This may seem like an odd question, but how in Sonichu canon do you expect Sonichu and Rosechu to die? Feel free to not answer the question if it is relevent to a future plot point, but if not, it would be interesting to know what the life expectancy of the Sonichus is. 2. Do Rosechus go through the menopause? 3. Are Sonichus and Rosechus different species? If not, what is the collective term for the species? 4. Do Sonichus and Rosechus base physical attraction on colour? There appears to be little or no physical difference between Sonichus other than their colour which is confusing enough, but they all have identical beliefs and similar personalities. Are all Sonichus and Rosechus sexually attracted to one another? If not, how do they pair up? 5. What do Sonichus eat? Do they hunt animals or do they eat grass? 6. Do all Sonichus have the same "job" - protecting CWCville - or are some of them in other industries? I imagine one Sonichu could probably power the whole of CWCville constantly. Is it possible for Sonichus to "tap into" their powers to use their natural electicity as a source of cheap power? 7. If Sonichus create electricity, does that mean that they have to eat more frequently than Sonic? Do they give off heat or any other natural by-product of power production? How eco-friendly is a Sonichu? 8. When a Sonichu's penis is flaccid and retracted into their abdomen, are they identical to Rosechus? Surely all they must have visible on the outside is a little slit. Do Sonichus ever mistake each other for Rosechus? By the way, I liked the ending of Sonichu 9. It was very moving. From Woyzeck (a big fucking fan). |
Chris censored the word "fucking" to "f***ing". Apparently he hates swear words now.
Seriously your house is a giant fucking mess
| From: rschneider@socialworker.net
Hello Chris My name is Robert Schneider and I'm a social worker. I am writing to you to express my deep concern as regards to your family's well-being and more importantly the living conditions you live in. Having seen the tour of your house on youtube and knowing of your parents age I have to ask why have you not cleaned the property? As a 28 year old seemingly healthy individual, the responsibility to clean up that household really does rest on your shoulders as most social care professionals would deem your mother and father incapable of doing it themselves due to their age and health. As a friendly piece of advice Christian, I would clean that place out quickly or your parents could well face being put in a care home for the sake of their own good health. Not only this but given your Autism you could well be force to live in an environment more suited to your needs, depending on reassessment. Please get back to me as this is a serious matter. Rob. |
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