Difference between revisions of "Boyfriend-free girl"

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[[Image:Boyfriend-free girls.jpg|thumb|right|140px|Boyfriend free-girls surrounding Chris.<br><br>Note: this never happened.]]
'''Boyfriend-free girl''' is a [[CWC-isms|peculiar turn of phrase]] that [[Chris]] uses. Obviously, it refers to a girl who is single.  


A girl who is single. This is what [[Chris]] calls single women. He wants one to make into a "[[sweetheart]] from the ground-up."
==Etymology==
This is what Chris calls single white women. He wants one to make into a "[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]".


Chris emphasizes the "boyfriend free" part as nearly every girl he asks out has a boyfriend for some bizarre reason (most usually a lie just to get the fuck away from the giant freak when he wasn't willing to take a "no" for answer).
Chris emphasizes the "boyfriend-free" part as nearly every girl he asks out has a boyfriend for some bizarre reason. One possible explanation is that a [[gal pal]], hoping to kindly but firmly deter Chris from hitting on her, would claim she has a boyfriend, even if she doesn't. It seems that the very presence of Chris can cause a woman to spontaneously grow a boyfriend, or [[JERKS|jerk]]. Also, the fact that "boy" is the first part of what he seeks may be perpetually thwarting his attempts to [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|stay straight]].


He also fears "gals" that have boyfriends, which he calls [[Noiophobia]].  
Chris also fears "gals" that have boyfriends, a condition he calls [[noviophobia]]. Whether he excludes "boyfriend-free girls" who are boyfriend-free for a [[homos|reason]] from the usage is up to debate, however, it is likely that he either forgets that not all women are straight, or he [[Chris and his ego|believes]] that his [[obesity|manly]] [[women's rights|charm]] can instantly turn women straight.


==Qualifications to become a Girlfriend of Chris==
In late [[October 2009]], Chris's standards took a step down yet again. Chris became [[Rape|infatuated]] with [[Liquid Chris]]'s girlfriend [[Kacey]], going so far as to say he [[I Love You Kacey|loved her]] in a grainy [[YouTube]] video, where he did not sound the least bit desperate at all. Days later, Chris [[For Kacey II|asked her out]] via YouTube, which is a totally mature and appropriate way for a 27-year-old man to ask a woman out on a date.


* MUST be boyfriend-free. ''(can't emphasise that enough!)''
Although Chris has done [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|disturbing things]] in the name of [[Megan Schroeder|unrequited love]] before, and has previously been infatuated with a [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|woman]] in a committed relationship, this was his first serious attempt to break up a couple for his own personal gain. To this end, he also [[For Chris|created yet another video]] where he described himself as a [[True and Loyal Fanbase|popular]], [[nudes|attractive]], [[Chris and anger|even-tempered]] individual who [[Chris and the Law|makes good choices]] and [[Twin Falling Towers|has a strong moral compass]].
* MUST be 18 - (Chris' current age).
* MUST be white.
* MUST have a [[car]].
* MUST have a mid to high salary.
* MUST live within 30 miles of the [[Ruckersville]] area.
* MUST NOT be a [[Jerkop|cop]].
* MUST NOT have [[Autism]].
* MUST NOT be a man.


If you fit all of the criteria and are into overweight freakish, perverse man-children, then God help you!
TL;DR: Chris actually believes he can steal people's girlfriends by making crappy YouTube videos full of lies and sexual innuendo.


==This Chris sounds like a stud. Where do I sign up?==
[[Sweetheart|Click here]] if you wish to pursue becoming a girlfriend of Christian. You can also [[April 2018 social media posts#Will provide house tour and suck dicks for money|pay him for sex]], too.
{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Latest revision as of 17:27, 22 October 2023

Boyfriend-free girl is a peculiar turn of phrase that Chris uses. Obviously, it refers to a girl who is single.

Etymology

This is what Chris calls single white women. He wants one to make into a "Sweetheart from the Ground-Up".

Chris emphasizes the "boyfriend-free" part as nearly every girl he asks out has a boyfriend for some bizarre reason. One possible explanation is that a gal pal, hoping to kindly but firmly deter Chris from hitting on her, would claim she has a boyfriend, even if she doesn't. It seems that the very presence of Chris can cause a woman to spontaneously grow a boyfriend, or jerk. Also, the fact that "boy" is the first part of what he seeks may be perpetually thwarting his attempts to stay straight.

Chris also fears "gals" that have boyfriends, a condition he calls noviophobia. Whether he excludes "boyfriend-free girls" who are boyfriend-free for a reason from the usage is up to debate, however, it is likely that he either forgets that not all women are straight, or he believes that his manly charm can instantly turn women straight.

In late October 2009, Chris's standards took a step down yet again. Chris became infatuated with Liquid Chris's girlfriend Kacey, going so far as to say he loved her in a grainy YouTube video, where he did not sound the least bit desperate at all. Days later, Chris asked her out via YouTube, which is a totally mature and appropriate way for a 27-year-old man to ask a woman out on a date.

Although Chris has done disturbing things in the name of unrequited love before, and has previously been infatuated with a woman in a committed relationship, this was his first serious attempt to break up a couple for his own personal gain. To this end, he also created yet another video where he described himself as a popular, attractive, even-tempered individual who makes good choices and has a strong moral compass.

TL;DR: Chris actually believes he can steal people's girlfriends by making crappy YouTube videos full of lies and sexual innuendo.

This Chris sounds like a stud. Where do I sign up?

Click here if you wish to pursue becoming a girlfriend of Christian. You can also pay him for sex, too.

The CWC-tionary

Relationships: Attraction Location | Boyfriend-free girl | Darling | Dating education | Friend Zone | Gal-pal | Heart Level | Homos | Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor | Love Quest | Noviophobia | SLGBTQ | Sweetheart | Sweetheart from the Ground-Up

Sex: China | Comeuppance | Duck | JULAY | Mass debating | Negligent | Pedofork | Pickle | Recycling | Soul Bonding | Virgin with rage | Virginia is for Virgins | Women's rights

Himself: Biological clock | Butt garments | Captain's Log | Christian Love Day | DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS | Fuzzy-Wuzzies & Prickly-Wicklies | Honest Content | I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD | Monthly tugboat | Muscle bra | Random-access humor | Saga | Scale of Respect | Tomgirl |

Stressors: 4-cent_garbage | GOPony | HEXBox | JERKS | Jerkops | Kick the Autistic | Manajerks | Naïve | Niggos | Pmurt | Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens | Slow-in-the-minds | Tobacky

Fantasies: Curse-ye-ha-me-ha | Dimension | Fangs | Godjesus | Iron Curtain | OC | Un-clit

Comics: Anchuent Prophecy | Da Update | Electric Hedgehog Pokemon | Nombie-zazis | Parody | Rosechu | Sonichu | Sub-Episodes | Sweetbolt


See also: Chris and English | List of phrases Chris copied from media