Difference between revisions of "Jail Letter Gifts"
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Over the months, Chris has sent '''various holy items''' to the senders of the respectful letters he receives from | Over the months, Chris has sent '''various holy items''' to the senders of the respectful letters he receives from jail, all of which are made from trash he can get his hands on. | ||
==Types of Gifts== | ==Types of Gifts== |
Revision as of 17:07, 16 December 2021
Over the months, Chris has sent various holy items to the senders of the respectful letters he receives from jail, all of which are made from trash he can get his hands on.
Types of Gifts
Holy Labels
Holy Labels are bottle wrappers featuring illustrations made by Chris that he thinks will bless the drinker and purify the liquid being consumed. Chris believes that, by photocopying his scribbles, laminating them, and placing them around beverages, you will get his blessing. Chris sends these labels to his adoring fans and expects them to actually do as he commands.
All of the Holy Labels that have been sent thus far are written like this:
All labels have a drawing of a Sonichu cross, meant to resemble a human uterus, in the center.
On the left are the words:
“ | The Joy of Gods, Goddesses, the Heavens, and the recombined new Earth! | ” |
And on the right are the words:
“ | Lord, Messiah & Savior, Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart. | ” |
In a letter sent to Kengle Chris quotes how to "properly" use his labels, "laminate it, or cover it with shipping tape, attach it to a bottle (mainly for water and NON-ALCOHOLIC Beverages) to enjoy thy liquid consumptions [sic] with my Blessings, safely, from that bottle".
Given that Chris's hygiene is most likely abysmal in jail, these bottle wrappers can be deemed utterly useless, and probably not advisable to use for one's own health.
NSC Tokens
NSC Tokens are hand-made coins Chris has created out of the bottoms of styrofoam cups. The exact purpose of these are yet to be revealed by Chris.
List of Gifts Mailed
Front | Back | Gift Type | Product | Date Sent | Sent To |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
Holy Label | Coca Cola | 30 October 2021 | Kenneth Englehardt | ||
Holy Label | Grape Fanta | 8 November 2021 | Stories from the Penitentiary | ||
Holy Label | Coca Cola | 30 November 2021 | Celestia | ||
NSC Token | Styrofoam Cup | 9 December 2021 | Celestia |
See Also
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