Jail Letter Gifts

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Over the months, Chris has sent various gifts to the senders of letters he receives from jai.

Types of Gifts

Holy Labels

Holy Labels are bottle wrappers featuring illustrations made by Chris that he thinks will bless the drinker and purify the liquid being consumed. Chris believes that, by photocopying his scribbles, laminating them, and placing them around beverages, you will get his blessing. Chris sends these labels to his adoring fans and expects them to actually do as he commands.

All of the Holy Labels that have been sent thus far are written like this:

Scrawled on the back of a plastic bottle wrapper:
The Joy of Gods, Goddesses, the Heavens, and the recombined new Earth! JailLetter2NewCWCCross.jpeg Lord, Messiah & Savior, Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart.

All labels have a drawing of a Sonichu cross, meant to resemble a human uterus, in the center.

On the left are the words:

“ The Joy of Gods, Goddesses, the Heavens, and the recombined new Earth! ”

And on the right are the words:

“ Lord, Messiah & Savior, Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart. ”

In a letter sent to Kengle Chris quotes how to "properly" use his labels, "laminate it, or cover it with shipping tape, attach it to a bottle (mainly for water and NON-ALCOHOLIC Beverages) to enjoy thy liquid consumptions [sic] with my Blessings, safely, from that bottle".

Given that Chris's hygiene is most likely abysmal in jail, these bottle wrappers can be deemed utterly useless, and probably not advisable to use for one's own health.

NSC Tokens

NSC Tokens are hand-made coins Chris has created out of the bottoms of styrofoam cups. The exact purpose of these are yet to be revealed by Chris.

List of Gifts Mailed

Front Back Product Date Sent Sent To
KengleCocaColaFront.jpg KengleCocaColaBack.jpg Coca Cola 30 October 2021 Kenneth Englehardt
11.8.21MailFantafront.jpeg 11.8.21MailFantaback.jpeg Grape Fanta 8 November 2021 Stories from the Penitentiary
Jail Letter - 30 November 2021 - part 3.jpg Coca Cola 30 November 2021 Celestia
Styrofoam Cup 9 December 2021 Celestia

See Also

v • d • e  
Relics of Fail
Identity
Love Quest
Transgender
Toys
Art
Rage
Fashion
Other
Shrines of Fail
The Holy Fails


v • d • e  
Jail Communications (2021–22)
Letters
All Letters
1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9 • 10 • 11 • 12 • 13 • 14 • 15 • 16 • 17 • 18 • 19 • 20 • 21 • 22 • 23 • 24 • 25 • 26 • 27 • 28 • 29 • 30 • 31 • 32 • 33 • 34 • 35 • 36 • 37 • 38 • 39 • 40 • 41 • 42 • 43 • 44 • 45 • 46
By recipient
Miscellaneous
1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8
Bizarre Bazaar
1 • 2
Celestia
1 • 2
Eels / Helena
1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9 • 10 • 11
Kenneth Engelhardt
1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9 • 10 • 11 • 12 • 13 • 14 • 15 • 16 • 17 • 18 • 19 • 20
Spamton
1 • 2 • 3
Calls
1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6
See Also
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