All Star
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"All Star" is a 1999 song by Smash Mouth. Widely known as the opening theme of the animated film Shrek, the song has since entered internet meme culture in the last decade thanks to Millennials. During the "Cryzel Torture" chat of 21 April 2018, Chris uploaded two covers of "All Star" to the Idea Guys via Discord.
Having gained Chris' consent to use his Discord account to aid in the conflict against the Idea Guys, Kiwi Farms owner Null leaked the SFW version on 13 July.[1] Later that year on 18 November 2018, a troll impersonating Magi-Chan leaked the second, TRUE and HONEST rendition with Chris mass debating to Chris' Twitter. The tweet was deleted minutes later, but the video was quickly preserved by Christorians.[2] More parts of video would be leaked by the Teen Troon Squad onto /cow/ on 31 December 2018[3].
Notably, Chris sings in the same growling voice that he used to indicate he was singing under duress way back in It's UGH! (2009).
Singing All Star Part 1
| Chris chan sings All Star | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 21 April 2018 |
| Subject Matter |  Music
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| Performance Style |  Tragedy,  Crazy
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| Saga |  Idea Guys
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| Other |  Leaked
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| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous Message to Dio Brando, Plus I Need a New Phone! |
next All Star Part 2 |
Transcript
[Chris makes a constipated grunt and the camera briefly gains a green tint. He begins reading the lyrics from his phone in a similar constipated low growl, with heavy tone variation, and gesticulating wildly.] Some-BODY once told me,
the WORLD is gonna ROLL ME!
I ain't the sharpest [voice drops to croaking voice] torl in the sheeeed!
She was looking [Chris gives up on following the melody] kinda dumb
[Mimes along with the next two lines] With her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an L, on her foreheeead!
[Remembers the melody again] Well... the years start comin'
And they don't starp comin'
Feh to the rules and they hit the ground runnin'
It dudn't make sense not to live for fun
[High growl, slurred] Y'brain gets smart [Low growl] but yer head gets dumb
So much to do, so much to see,
So what's wrong with takin' the backstre'
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't GLOW
Hey know, you're an all star
Get your game on, go bleh
Hurr nurr, yer a ruckstar
Get the show on, get beh
[Shakes his phone] And all that glitters is gooold
Only shootin' STUURS break the mooold?
It's a col' place, and they say i'gets col'er
Yer bun'led up now until y'ge' ol'er
The me'eor men beg t'differ
Judgin' by the hole in their satellite picture
The ice ge' thay, [gibberish as he loses his place] w'er w'er w'er... [small groan]
[Picks up the tempo] W'er's ge'in warm so ya might as well swim!
My world's on fire, how 'bout yours?
That's the way I like it, I'll never get bore'
Hey now, you're an all star
Getcher game on, go blay
Hey now, you're a rockstar
Get the show on, get beh
[Begins continuously shaking phone] An' all that gli'ers is gooold!
Only shootin' staaars breeeak the mooold!
[Almost 20 seconds of growling, warbling and Hulk Hogan-like arm shaking]
Hey now, you're an all star
Getcher game on, go blay
Hey now, you're a rockstar
Get yer show on, get bleh
[Poses with arms out and head low] An' ALL that gli'ers is GOOOL'
[Another brief growl solo]
Only shootin' staaaaaaars...
Somebody once-- [Unintelligible]
Spare some change for gas, I need to get away from
Self away from this place
[Growls]
I sai', "Yup... WHA' CONCE'!
I could use lotta fuel myself!
An' we could all use a little [Leaning towards the camera] chaaange!"
Well, the years start comin'
And they don't stop comin'
I feh to the rules an' I hit the ground ruh
Di'n' make sense not to live for fun
Yer brain gets smart but yer head gets dumb
So much to do, so much t'see
So what's wrong with takin' the backstre'
Ya never know if you don't go. [Lurches towards the camera] GUH-OOH!
Ya never knuh if ya don't [Lurches again, but less intensely] glow
Hey now, you're an ahrl star
Get the game on, go blay
Hey now, you're a wock star
Get the show on, get pay
An' all that gli'ers is goool'!
[Growls]
Only shootin' stars break the mol'?
An' all that gli'ers is gold
Only shoo'in' stars, break the frickin' moooold!
[Chris makes an extended constipated grunt, picks up the camera, spins around and punches it to the ground.]
Singing All Star Part 2
| For Shrek's Eyes Only | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 21 April 2018 |
| Subject Matter | Music  Sex
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| Performance Style | Tragedy, Crazy
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| Saga | Idea Guys
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| Other | Leaked
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| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous All Star Part 1 |
next I’m Sorry for Ruining so many Fandoms |
The uncensored version can be found here, if you really need to see it.
Description
| This is how chris pays tribute to his lovers
- The guy in the "bluegras state" You lose farms! |
Transcript
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This media needs a transcript. Help CWCki by transcribing the content. If the media is too long, transcribe select portions which are funny or informative. |
[Chris is kneeling on his bed in the nude, pounding on his bent duck while writhing in discomfort. The shitty camera quality and blue pillow somewhat obscure his bits, but it's otherwise completely obvious what he's doing.]
--your head gets dumb
So much to do, so much to see
...what's wrong with TAKING the backstreet?!
Uh, no, fairy snow
Never shine if you don't know!
Hey now, you're an all star
Get show on, get paid
Hey now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get PAID
And all that glitters is GOOOOLLLD
...shooting stars break the MOOOOLD
And all [mumbling] is gooooold
Only shootin' stars break the MOOOOOOOLLLLDDD!!!!!
[music ends and all that's left is the unholy sound of Chris fapping]
| Videos for trolls |
|
Clyde Cash: Plea to Clyde | Chris Comes Out of the Closet | Vibrator destruction video | The proof | BACK THE FUCK OFF | Secret Weapon | Take that Page DOWN NOW! | YouTube Finale | A CWC Audition | Chris Calls Clyde Out | Sign destruction video | Clyde Cash the kid video | Challenge for Clyde | Challenge for Clyde II | Chris loses it | War paint video | Response to Gregg | To Clyde Gregg | ClydeGoingOnGregg1 | Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!! | Clyde is Weaker than Water | Getting Foam Ed | I AM STRONG | Twin Falling Towers | It will never end | Apology for doing WTC | No More Jokes | To Clyde and Jack | Don't Mess With Me | I am Clyde Cash | Chris has no creativity | Chris "executes" Clyde Other trolls: We're Being Watched | Naïve YouTubers | A near public apology | Rollin' and Trollin' | CWC Trollin More | It's UGH! | Chris humps his PS3 | THAT IS MY HOUSE | Forgiveness Blessings | Curse the Trolls | Ultimatum for Vivian | Chris dispels videogame rumors | To Clyde and Jack | Multiple challenge | Asperchu fury | Surfshack Tito | A message to the Trolls | Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots! | Chris Drops the N-Bomb | I Pimp My Ride | Chris tells the trolls | Sonichu copyrights | Stardate, August 27, 2010 | ItIsFinished | Anti Troll Movement Video1 | Don't make the Grimace sad | I am Alec Benson Leary | Calling Out videos | Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada Lady Managers: Doxing Jeff/Francine | Thank You, Jeff, and I accept your apology. | Update 1/17/2016 | Jeff is Beyond Denounced. Idea Guys: Freestyle Dance With Me, For Our World! | Cherokean Chant | Smashing | Get Out, You D*** Nazis! | Tour of Chris's House III | Chris apologizes to Gwen | Chris slaps himself | Dick Licker; that is I. | One-Hundred! | Chris pleads to stop Cryzel Torture | All Star | Chris lost Crystal | I’m Sorry for Ruining so many Fandoms
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| ⇐ Message to Dio Brando, Plus I Need a New Phone! | Chris's videos | I’m Sorry for Ruining so many Fandoms ⇒ |
See also
References
- ↑ https://kiwifarms.net/threads/cryzel-torture.45450/
- ↑ https://kiwifarms.net/threads/11-18-chriss-twitter-posts-a-video-of-him-jacking-off.50093/
- ↑ Videos were leaked at https://8ch.net/cow/res/687691.html#689605 and a Teen Troon Squad member posted at https://8ch.net/cow/res/687691.html#689633