Mailbag 57

Mailbag 57 was uploaded to the CWCipedia on 17 February 2010. It was answered by Evan on 19 March 2010.

On 11 March, after uploading several Mailbags without any response from Chris, CWCipedia's Sysop consolidated several questions from Mailbags 59 and 60 down into 57 and 58, and also deleted some messages entirely. The revised version is presented below under a separate heading. Please note that all these comments are just parodies made during the CWCipedia vandalism.

This Mailbag remained unanswered before the death of the CWCipedia in May 2010.

The original Mailbag 57

From: Ma Ti <suckmybigheart@gmail.com> Have you tried contacting any comic companies to publish Sonichu, and if yes, what was their response?

From: Harry Partridge In mailbag 52 you said that you planned on spending time with your girlfriend on Valentine's day. How was it? I would love to see a picture of you and her together, or some evidence of your relationship. After all, that'd sure shut up all the trolls calling you things like a "bra wearing manbaby who'll never get any". Those guys are assholes. Love Harry

From: Evang7 <evang7@gmail.com> Your reply to my letter has been read fully, and your thoughts have been inputed and accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts.

From: Fyodor Dostoyevski <fyodord2@gmail.com> Dear Chris. American Psychiatric Association has recently decided to list Asperger's under the Autism spectrum. How do you feel about this? [1] And before you give this mail a neutral response, keep in mind that it is both about you (since it's about views you have expressed and a disorder you have) and Cwcpedia (since your views on Asperger's were expressed there) both of which merit a response from you according to your captain's log.

From: jerrybaby@usa.com I am an aspiring comic artist like you, and I am thoroughly impressed by how much your art has improved over the transition between Sonichu and Sonichu Revolution. Before, the artwork looked so babyish, like something you'd see on the fridge that a three year old did. I mean, seriously, Crayola markers? What were you thinking? It looked so hideous! To be honest, I didn't really like the comic at all before because I thought it looked like shit. But now, the comic is really sleek and stylish. It looks so professionally done. The attention to little details is especially great. For example, I like how you drew yourself on the first page of Sonichu Revolution. With your stomach sticking out of your shirt, your receding, your mantits, and those dorky grandma glasses, you drew more realistically than you ever did before. Looks almost like you traced a photo of yourself! Good job. All in all, I'm really happy for the changes you've made in Sonichu Revolution. Keep up the good work!

The revised Mailbag 57

PROTIP: Chris never wrote any of these replies. Take them with a grain of salt!

From: Ma Ti <suckmybigheart@gmail.com> Have you tried contacting any comic companies to publish Sonichu, and if yes, what was their response?

Yes, I contacted several companies, but unfortunately each one has told me that Sonichu is a Copyright Infringement, is Poorly Written and Drawn, and has No Chance of making me money. It's clear that they have No Taste, not to see the brilliance of my work! I just ignored them mostly.

From: Fyodor Dostoyevski <fyodord2@gmail.com> Dear Chris. American Psychiatric Association has recently decided to list Asperger's under the Autism spectrum. How do you feel about this? [2] And before you give this mail a neutral response, keep in mind that it is both about you (since it's about views you have expressed and a disorder you have) and Cwcpedia (since your views on Asperger's were expressed there) both of which merit a response from you according to your captain's log.

I feel that is NOT ACCEPTABLE. I DO NOT WANT THOSE DAMN ASPERGER'S PEOPLE TO POLLUTE THE AUTISTIC GROUP. Any Asperger's sufferers reading: GO COMMIT SUICIDE RIGHT NOW. I DO NOT WANT YOU TO BE AUTISTIC EVER!!!

From: Reimu Hakurei <diochromatic.butterfly@gmail.com> Dear Chris, I recently lost my job and I barely have any money to pay rent. It's hard to even find a decent job especially in this economy. My local newspaper didn't even have anything in their Classified section, that's just sad!. I'm not on welfare because I don't like the idea of using other people's money. I considered becoming a stripper because I make as much as people throw money my way but I don't like the idea of men leering at me with their eyes. What should I do?

Being a Stripper would be a Good Career Option, men always need someone to mass debate to! But have you ever considered becoming a Prostitute? Men would pay you lots and all you have to do is have Sex with them! If you take my advice, please stop by my house; I'm sure giving you this idea earned me a Free Session ;)

ORIGINAL DIGIMON (DO NOT STEAL!)

From: Takato Matsuda <goggleheadtakato@gmail.com> Hi! My name is Takato Matsuda and I am 11 yrs. old and live in Japan. You said that you believe that anything anyone draws becomes real and exists in a different universe. I think that is really cool! I really hope it is true! I drew a digimon. I named him Guilmon! I hope he becomes real and comes find me so we can be friends. Here is a picture of him! The writing on the side says Guilmon because that is his name. I think it is pretty good, but you are an artist so you probably know better. What do you think? It is hand drawn and hand colored so I think you would definitely approve of that. I drew it at school and did not have all my markers and pencils with me so it is only in 2 colors. I hope you do not think it is bad because of that. Bye! http://i45.tinypic.com/25qat95.jpg

Sorry, but your drawing is terrible. You're probably Retarded, maybe even with Asperger's. You should just kill yourself now.

From: majickwithouttears@disciples.com I noticed that your birthday is coming up! Happy birthday! My church taught me that one's birthday is the most important holiday of all. Would you agree with this? And what do you have planned for your birthday? Are you going to have a big party or just a small celebration? What's on your wishlist?

I already had my birthday, it was Good, but my Stupid Father didn't get me the prostitute I asked for. What kind of man doesn't buy his Virgin Son a hooker?! I hope he dies.

From: thecozumel@usa.com Hey, when will Sailor Megtune return to the comic? She was my favorite character and I hate that she hasn't been in the comic since forever.

I removed her when Megan moved away, but I recently decided that it doesn't matter what she thinks. Expect her, Sarah Hammer, Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, Ivy O'Neil, Blanca Weiss, Hanna, and an ALL-NEW GAL-PAL to appear in a later issue, in which they will all have an Orgy with me.

From: Super Greg <super_greg_ownsya_mom@hotmail.com> Hey Chris-Chan. Big fan! I love all the content you've been putting out lately, but I was wondering about something. How come you stopped making videos displaying your grand amounts of strength? I found them very inspiring and I wish there were more. Maybe make some with you doing sit ups or jumping jacks or any other various exercises. Thanks.

My current plan is to beat a man up to prove I AM STRONG AND I CAN FIGHT. I'll bring my video camera into Charlottesville and fight the first Nigger I see! Look forward to it!

From: Kaiser Wilhelm <worldwarfun@gmail.com> Why did you say Moon-Pals isn't any good because it's a parody? Sonichu is a parody of Sonic and Pokemon.

Sonichu is original. Moon-Pals is a ripoff. It's incredibly obvious and you must be Slow-In-The-Mind for not seeing it.

From: jupiterjump@myself.com I see you're still not updating your comic daily. Whatever. I'm going back to Asperchu. They update daily

Well, in that case, I don't even want you as a fan. You can Kill Yourself for all I care.

From: twosesames@mail.com You used to be against drinking alcohol until you tried it. Now, you are no longer against drinking alcohol. Have you given smoking cigarettes the same chance? You might actually enjoy it.

I recently took up smoking, and love it! I currently go through Two Packs a Day, and feel great! The only problem is a Cold I must have caught recently; I keep Uncontrollably Coughing. But the cigarettes make me feel Much Better!

From: random_radish@hotmail.com Chris, I believe to be a well rounded and cultured person it's necessary to travel to and experience foreign countries and cultures. I'm twenty years old and recently stayed in Japan for two months. In my lifetime I've been to over twenty five countries and I've funded all my trips since I was sixteen. My question is Chris, where in the world have you visited and what have you learned from the experiences? How many times have you left the US? Your fan, Gaye Barr.

I don't see myself leaving this Country, let alone my House, in the near future. Too much work.

From: Jon Crayon <joncrayon@gmail.com> Yo Chris, loving this epic battle between Collosal Chris-Chan and Slaweel! That Female Dog is finally getting her comeuppance! I drew this fan-art to commemorate the event. P.S. I hope you take up the bet to draw a beautiful picture in a realistic non-childlike style. I'm sure you got it in you! http://i48.tinypic.com/in5puv.jpg

I love seeing that Female Dog get eviscerated! If only it were real!

From: Evang7 <evang7@gmail.com> I was reading your Sonichu comics again. There's a lot of characters! I was wondering if you had any backstories developed for these characters: -Florance Fisher (Girl from the dating education class) -Sammy (the time you temporarily became stupid and gained weight) -Trisha Rosechu -Mypoe -That old dude who was sitting in the Destiny Cave for a long time Will we ever see any of them again? I'm still waiting for you to need Sammy for a future Skitch like you said you would.

EVAN CHRISTOPHER GEORGE IS DEAD. HE WAS EXECUTED AND HAD HIS DUCK DRILLED OUT IN CWCVILLE. THIS MUST BE AN IMPOSTOR, DO NOT LISTEN TO HIM.

From: Evang7 <evang7@gmail.com> Do you use a Mac? Considering your loathing of Microsoft, it would only make sense. How do you like your Mac? Would you recommend it?

EVAN IS DEAD. IGNORE THIS IMPOSTOR.

From: Jon Crayon <joncrayon@gmail.com> Hey Chris. I'm sad to see you retire Chris-Chan Sonichu from the comic at the end of this issue, but that's progress. Good luck with the reboot! P.S. You should try growing a beard again ;) http://i50.tinypic.com/2wpnl8k.jpg

I like that image! I may grow a beard just like that in the Future!

From: Seka <AkatsukaSeka@live.com> Hi Chris! In the coming months I am attempting to compile a website detailing the kitchens and pantries of various American writers, artists, TV personalities, and other celebrities. If you wish to contribute please take photographs of the inside of your fridge, freezer, and various cabinets and such around your kitchen. It would be very much appreciated. It doesn't matter if it's a little messy or not organized. Thank you in advance, Seka

Currently my Fridge is rather empty, as I've been eating a grand amount of food and my Lazy Father won't go buy groceries. I hate him so much!

For Truth and Honesty, see the archived CWCipedia page on Mailbag 57