Rejected Mailbag

The Rejected Mailbag is where emails Chris considers offensive go to die. It is unclear why Chris keeps them--it is assumed he would just take every slanderous email and blast it to the moon--but given that everything Chris does in public is centered around his need for constant pity and sympathy, it is possible he keeps them around to show his fanbase what he has to put up with in his inbox every day.

It should be understood that Chris does not actually place all the e-mails he deletes in the rejected mailbox. As of this writing, many of the messages Chris has deleted have not been recorded on this page..

Rejected emails

Added 21 November

From: Howard Winslow <hwinslow3@gmail.com> A friend of mine wrote some excellent fan stories I thought you'd like: http://cwccyoa.110mb.com/stories.htm Sincerely, Howard Winslow

From: Bernard Stephens <bernard.stephens@mail.mcgill.ca> OMG!!!111 Love the comic!! Me and my boyfriend Mark listen to the audiobooks all the time! LUVS IT BABE!! Have a safe day, and STAY STRAIG- er, I mean, STAY FABULOUS!!! Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo Bernard and everyone else here at Gay4Sonichu http://gay4sonichu.yuku.com/ love it!!!!!

From: Steven Clark <ignotus@live.co.uk> I love your brown shirt and guitar skills you are so dreamy. keep up the good work! sonichu is the best DONT LET THAT IAN BRANDON ANDERSON GET YOU DOWN

From: xanatosvanbadass@aim.com Good to see you making the comics again! I hope you make to to keep them out of the hands of that naive fat bastard Ian Brandon Anderson so he won't slander your good name! P.S. I hope you and Kacey are living happily married lives.

From: Thorgnzorrg Jenkins <thorgnzorrg@hotmail.com> I love Sonichu but as a gay, black atheist, I'm in somewhat of a minority. All of the black characters in Sonichu are either goofy or antagonistic, gay characters aren't shown in a good light, and as far as I can tell everyone in CWCville is a devout Christian. I love your comics and audiobooks, but they loose their appeal when I can't relate to any of the characters. Please consider including a gay, black, or atheist character in your comic. Thank you.

Added 25 November

From: statxfan89@aim.com Dear Chris-chan, I just discovered Sonichu a few days ago, and I've got to say, I'm a little disappointed to see you've completely ripped off Static the Pikachu (found at http://statx015.deviantart.com/gallery/#Static-the-Pikachu). ; Sonichu is a poor man's Static, too. The comic, quite frankly, looks like it's drawn by a retard using Crayola markers, and the writing is no better. Sonichu, unlike Static, has no personality. He's just the same as all the other characters, and has a personality as deep as kiddie pool. And now I read you've gone and lied to the government, claiming you've invented Sonichu? What a load. It's bigshots like you who steal from the little guy and screw him over by defrauding the government, abusing the laws for their own gain (like people who collect welfare when they could just go get a job and serve a function to the society outside being a leech) who really get to me. I suppose you can just ignore this letter, delete this comments, but ignoring it and ignoring me won't make me or my ideas just disappear. We'll reveal you for the fake you are, "Christian" (that's not even your God given name! Your real name was Christopher until you stole Christian from the Conductor Bear!). You're a phony! Your a big fat phony! Sincerely, Mark, from Missouri

Added 26 November

From: David Crass <crasscrab@gmail.com> Dear Chris Why is Rosechu so useless? It's like she's some sort of classical feminine trope. The only time she has ever actually done anything was when she sexually assaulted Jason Kendrick Howell. I don't know how you see it, but as far as I can tell, Rosechu is little more than a sex object. I mean, all she seems to do through most of the comic is hang on Sonichu, take nude pictures of herself, and get kidnapped. Care to explain how exactly it is that you preach women's rights while at the same time falling back on classic female caricatures? Sincerly, David Crass PS: Your plots seem to be getting more and more convoluted and unnessarily complicated, with nothing ever tying together and a myriad of new characters being introduced and retconned, only to play no real role within the overall plot.

She is not useless, sure she has gotten captured, but she is quite excellent in the offense and defense too. Plus, look at Amy Rose; she is not useless, yet she gets captured sometimes too. She is not just a sex object; she is an individual with her own feelings, aspirations and opinions. More of her character will show in later pages. Maybe they are not the main character at the time, but they do serve their purpose overall. --ChrisChanSonichu 05:36, 5 December 2009 (CET)

From: almighty truth <zenthetruth@gmail.com> Dear Christian Weston Chandler, My name is Zechariah Edwardo Nillson, I am a HUGE fan of sonichu. I am also a sufferer of Aspergers, I like you comics because I find your struggles in life similar to mine and can relate to them. So I was wondering why does it "grind your gears" to have high functioning autism and aspergers compared? They are infat very similar, if you go to the following site, http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/high-functioning-autism they directly cmpare the two and state that they are very similar. To qoute the page: "High-functioning autism is at one end of the ASD spectrum. Signs and symptoms are less severe than with other forms of autism. In fact, a person with high-functioning autism usually has average or above average intelligence. The differences from other forms of autism have led many psychiatrists to consider high-functioning autism as similar to or the same as Asperger's syndrome. Whether it's labeled high-functioning autism or Asperger's syndrome, coping with this condition presents daily challenges -- for those who have it and for their family and friends." Im very glad that you are making comics so regularly and I hope that youl please rethink your stance on Aspergers syndrome. Peace.

From: Thorgnzorrg Jenkins <thorgnzorrg@hotmail.com> Yes Christian, you are ignoring the questions and comments in your "Rejected Mailbag". By not responding to them, you're ignoring them. It doesn't matter whether or not you would "care to respond to them". For someone who loves to dish out homophobia, racism, and religious bigotry you seem to have a hard time taking the heat when somone questions it. Do you know what that makes you? A coward. You're nothing but a naive, arrogant, selfish coward, and you wonder why you have such bad luck with women? Cowardice isn't a respectable trait, women don't find it attractive. People like you make me sick. I can't believe I spent so much time reading your comics when they were nothing more than venues to express your hatred and bigotry. Good day, coward.

From: Mark Reynolds <marsaray@gmail.com> Is there any way you would let anyone help you not to be a pathetic loser? I want to help you out. If you ever finally decide to actually live life and not be stuck as you are let me know.

Added November 27th

From: Sexy Joe Stalin <sexy.joe.stalin@live.com> Chris, What happened to the Sonichu I used to love? Fame has changed you, man. Sincerely, Sexy Joe Stalin (a fan of the REAL Sonichu)

From: Gourmet Pickle <gourmetpickle@yahoo.com> Hello Chris. How's the creation of the Sonichu universe going? I have two questions that have been bothering me recently. 1. What's so bad about pickles? Personally, I love them. 2. This one is very serious. Is it really possible to catch gayness from a homo? I ask because my brother is a gay. We're really close and hang out a lot. I am a straight male such as your self, and I was hoping to get some insight on whether or not it's safe to hang out with my bro anymore. Have a great day and please respond.

They taste terrible, and they look like dicks; even more disgusting. Do not follow those characteristic examples from your brother. --ChrisChanSonichu 04:36, 28 November 2009 (CET)

From: grrrlpowaanow@aol.com i love your comic, chris. i am a 14 year old christian girl (raised devout baptist), and let me tell you, there is not enough christian literature out there, so i am glad you are making your comics. i do have some questions about them. 1. i really really LOVE your mailbag feature. do you plan to keep it up for a while? please say you will! 2. when will the sonichu game be released? i thought it was supposed to be out by now. i asked santa to get it for me for christmas but my dad said they didn't make that game 3. i noticed all the chaotic combo have parents. wild has a mom and a dad. bubbles had just a mom (or was swampert her dad?). punchy just had a dad. magi-chan just had a dad. angelica, however, has two mommies (two female nuns). as a christian woman, i am offended that angelica was raised in such an immoral household. a lot of chauvinistic pigs think lesbians are hot as in pretty, but god thinks they're hot as in theyre going to hell (as well as anyone who enjoys lesbian pornography or any pornography for that matter). i thought this was supposed to be a good christian comic! so why are there lesbians in it? and when will you remove these heathens from this comic? 4. the relationship between zapina and simonla seems unnatural. simonla acts as a bad, unchristian rolemodel in sonichu 9, where she basically encourages the (UNDERAGE) zapina to have pre-marital sex. pre-marital sex is wrong with the bible and wrong with god, chris. when will you fix this error? 5. whether theyre married or not, it is wrong for sonichu and rosechu to be having sex in the comics (or in any picture or photograph). the bible is very clear that intercourse is meant to be between a man and a woman, not a man, a woman, and an entire audience of readers, especially when those readers are potentially underage. ive even seen pictures of them where rosechu was a man and sonichu was a man and it is definitely against the bible for man and man to lay together. when will you remove these pornographies from the face of the internet? pornography is a SIN. god sends people to hell for it. your christian readership deserves nothing less than sonichu and rosechu to have a perfect spotlessly clean presence on the internet, and yet theyre being sullied by pictures drawn by you in your style of them engaging in sex. 6. the scene where rosechu press her bikini area against the mans face in the 4cent garbage building comic was disgusting, revolting, and a complete mockery to all women everywhere. i almost stopped reading the comic after that issue. when will you correct the ending to reflect a more christian, pro-female rights message? thank you for reading my questions. sorry if there were a lot but i look forward to answers

Yes, I will continue to answer the fanmail in the mailbag often. Unfortunately it does not exist yet, but I am in talks with the videogame companies to get it started. Neither Nun were lesbian; they are just like most Nuns, withdrawn from sex and married to God. Rosechu was wearing a strap-on in that drawing, of which I was blackmailed into doing a few months ago, and HOW do YOU think you were created to be born; Your Mom and Dad Had Sex to create you. Sex, regardless of positions or accessories, between man and woman is okay and natural. Rosechu temporarily turned into a wild beast, and she would not have been thinking when she did that. --ChrisChanSonichu 04:44, 28 November 2009 (CET)

From: Gabe Newell <gaben1962@hotmail.co.uk> Hello Christian, this is Gabe. Some friends of mine showed me your 'Sonichu' creation during my second lunch break at work yesterday, and I felt it necesarry to inform you that despite what you may think, Sonichu is not an original character. First, Sonichu is an amalgamation of Sonic the Hedgehog and Pikachu, and nothing more. He is not original, nor can you copyright his image. Nor will you ever be able to sell 'official' Sonichu merchandise- to do that would land you in a lawsuit for copyright infringement. Second, SEGA and Nintendo will never, ever make a Sonichu game with, or for you. No matter how many 'fans' you may have, this will never change. You have been made aware of this fact many times before, yet you refuse to acknowledge it. And finally, for someone who is searching for a 'boyfriend-free girl', as you say, you are going the wrong way about it. Girls aren't interested in guys in their late twenties who live with their parents and live off of taxpayer's money. They aren't interested in guys who spend most of their time playing video games, drawing comics, and playing with transformer toys, especially when their bedroom is full of said toys and smells strange. And, they aren't interested in your Sonichu necklace. You aren't going to find anyone if you continue iving as you are now. And, if you intend to care for a wife and daughter, as you do, you must get a real job. Drawing Sonichu comics is not a real job. Doing chores is not a real job. Neither is stacking shelves in a supermarket. If you want to change, you must put away Sonichu, and find a source of income instead of waiting for the welfare check to arrive every month. Then, I suggest finding a new place to live; you can't live with mom and dad forever. Do yourself a favour, and take the advice given. -Gabe

Added November 28th

From: Darren Heimbach <sonichufan80@yahoo.com> Ive been a true fan of Sonichu for a while. When a lot of people gave up on Sonichu after seeing you disrespect your real fans by posting videos of you drinking semen and fucking blowup dolls, I stuck by you. Now I really wonder why. Why cant you answer the mailbag daily, and why do you only answer letters with short, two sentence replies? Its not like you have a job or anything, and its really disrepectful toward your fans. You could spend more time DAILY to answer your FAN MAIL. Please show more respect to your true fans and answer the mailbag daily, and with more than just a couple words. We deserve it.

From: mr.suchi suchisuchi <suchisuchisuchi12@gmail.com> its mr suchi again i just realized i was wrong. you are not retarded but only somewhat autistic. this changes everything. you should improve your drawing its not good enough. honestly. i'm telling you as a friend. and stop harrassing women. because thats what your doing. they say you are racist. tell me, what do you think of the jews? because i'm a jew. do you hate me for being a jew? bye

Your comment were NOT CALLED FOR; I do not harass women, so you are wrong there. And I am NOT racist, and I like Jews. --ChrisChanSonichu 02:54, 29 November 2009 (CET)

From: x_dprk_rulz_x@yahoo.com Hello Mister Chandler. I am speaking on behalf of America's biggest Asian American advocacy group. Some of the parents in here have let their children read the comics, and are very offended at your, character Punchy. Punchy seems like a racist stereotype to us, with his slanted eyes and martial arts skills. Some of us have boycotted your comics. I know you mean, Mister Chandler, but please explain yourself. PS: My father is looking into politics. My grandfather was a popular politician here, and he wants to follow in his footsteps, but some say he is short, fat and opressive. Do you, as Mayor of CWCville, have any advice for him?

Punchy is NOT of Asian origin, and I apologize for offending you. I can only say he should do what he can.

From: John Gacy <johngacy138@live.com> Hi, Chris! Great comics! I especially like the recent one where the guy magically pooed his pants. So funny! But I digress: I've been following your advice on trying to stay straight and it's working pretty well so far. I used to have such a problem being attracted to hot teenage boys and young men, but not anymore! I actually live in Charlottesville and noticed there's a sex store called Ultimate Bliss. Have you been? If so, what was your experience? Can you recommend any straight-oriented sex toys? I live with my mom right now and she might get weirded out if I order anything by mail, so I'd prefer to shop at a sex toy store in real life. Thanks, and great comics again! John G

I have been there; I recommend WOMAN-Shaped Blow-Up Dolls, the masturbation tubes with the Vaginal-Designed Openings, and ALL their Videos that feature Woman-and-Man or Woman-and-Woman or one-man-and-multiple-women sexual acts.

From: Crystal Chondlar <crystalchondlar@gmail.com> I couldn't help but notice you told somebody in the mailbag to take criticism like a man and learn from it. You have never done that. Once. Ever. You cry like a little bitch and run away, or you just completely ignore it. That inability to change is exactly why you are the failure that you are. Now go throw this in the rejected section, you fucking hypocrite.

Added December 2nd

ZÀ̶L̡̕G̸Ò ͜͠WA̴̶I̡͜T̀̕͟S

help me <aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa@mail2Alcoholic.com> oh god help me

Autism Mailbag

A new, cuddlier spin-off of the Rejected Mailbag was launched on December 2nd 2009, to address dismiss autism spectrum-related e-mails 'because the topic is not cannon to the Sonichu and Rosechu topics.' Accessible here, it is where Chris will respond to the informed messages of myriad doctors, psychologists and the like who contact him to enlighten him regarding his opinions on 'slapdash so-called counterpart aspergers'.

Added 2 December

From: Douglas Cramer <autisticspectrumwarrior@gmail.com> Einstein was not autistic. He had Aspergers Syndrome, which actually is similar to Autism except involves a very high IQ. In fact, people with Aspergers are higher functioning than even you or me. Quoting Wikipedia: "Ioan James, Michael Fitzgerald, and Simon Baron-Cohen believe that Albert Einstein and Isaac Newton had personalities consistent with Asperger syndrome" In fact, I find it upsetting how you openly mock Aspergers, despite not even knowing what it is. Do you have any friends with Aspergers? You should meet one in person. They're hard to tell apart from normal people due to their level of functioning. In fact, aside from social skills, they can even make normal people look retarded in comparison. "Aspergers is MORE classified to those who come down with it LATER in life during their ADULT years." This is incorrect. You are thinking of Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's is a disorder that effects people when they become old, and ruins their memory. Aspergers is the exact opposite. Aspergers happens at a very young age and causes people to have photographic memories. Their minds can memorize and learn things like a computer. One of my best friends has Aspergers (a math genius who works for NASA) and he is only 13! According to Wikipedia, "Children with AS may have an unusually sophisticated vocabulary at a young age and have been colloquially called "little professors" Little professors! I mean come on. That's far from the idea you have of them being slow or dim-witted. I understand you get upset when people say that you have Aspergers. That's understandable. I too get upset when people think I have something other than autism. But going as far as telling a doctor to go shove it? Do you realize that's going a bit too far? Can't you just admit for once that you're wrong, and that you didn't know what Aspergers is? Sincerely, Douglas C

For your information, I have read about aspergers, and I still do not care much about it at all anyway. --ChrisChanSonichu 03:20, 3 December 2009 (CET)

Added 3 December

From: April Conway <april@scientist.com> Hello, I am the one who originally wrote the Wikipedia article on Aspergers. It seems you misread our findings on this subject. Allow me to clarify. In the article it says: "It differs from other autism spectrum disorders by its relative preservation of linguistic and cognitive development." Note that it says preservation. Meaning that they preserve the linguistic and cognitive skills that other Autism sufferers lose to due their condition. According to research, Aspergers is a milder from of Autism. It's when people have partial Autism, but not the full blunt of it. Though it's rare, it's still possible for them to have some of the clumsiness associated with Autism, though not from the onset. Though it's frequently reported, it's actually not very common. Which is what we meant by clumsiness not being required for a diagnosis. Nowhere does it say that it's worse than Autism. I don't understand what made you come to that conclusion. That's not even possible due to it being a milder form of Autism. While they may develop some autistic characteristics as they grow older, the effects aren't as severe as actual Autism. I think that's where you probably got confused. This isn't an easy subject to understand but hopefully this clears up any misunderstanding. If you have any questions, be sure to let me know. Sincerely, April

See also

For Truth and Honesty, see the archived CWCipedia page on Rejected Mailbag

• Chris E-Mails
• Censorship

For Truth and Honesty, see the archived CWCipedia page on Rejected Mailbag