Difference between revisions of "Surfshack Tito E-mails"

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<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
{{Honest}}
In [[March 2010]], the troll [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] exchanged a series of e-mails with [[Chris]]. These were leaked on 18 March 2010, to the amusement of all and sundry. They are reproduced below, with Tito's messages on a red background and Chris's replies on a blue background.


There's not a great deal of genuinely revealing information in the e-mails, although Tito's mockery is good for a chuckle regardless. We do learn, however, that Chris was aware of [[the Wallflower]]'s obsession with gay fan-fiction, and it apparently didn't bother him (or it didn't bother him enough to deter him from his quest to get laid, anyway).


==The e-mails==
{{Email|
Subject: I HAVE INFORMATION ON [WALLFLOWER], MY FAT LITTLE CUZZIN


HEY THERE LITTLE CUZ! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FELL FOR MY LITTLE SPY! WELL YOU ARE PRETTY DUMB. ANYWAY, NOW THAT I TRICKED YOU I THREW HER INFORMATION TO THE TROLLS. AHAHA! IN DEMAIL YOU SHOULD SEE A PIC OF ME AT THE RIGHT AND YOU'RE BOYFRIEND AT THE LEFT!


AS THE ANCIENT HAWAIIANS USED TO SAY.


"The coconut is always sweeter on the palm tree you can't reach!"


You're friend
Tito!}}


An image accompanied the above e-mail, a picture of [[the Wallflower]] with some big guy who looked Polynesian enough to pass as an IRL Tito.


{{EmailReply|
Subject: You are NOT even my Acquaintance, Period


Fuck Off, you God Damn Troll!!!}}


{{Email|Sorry little cuz, it wasn't my fault. You leaked her pen name in your Little Big Planet level. I just had to google it and got all her nasty gay porn writings. Have you even read her writings? They're all about men having sex with men. Like the one she wrote about the guys from ghost hunters having sex. It's pretty gay stuff.


I'll quote one of her fictions in my next emails.


So long, Brudda.


As the Ancient Hawaiians Said: "He who carves himself in stone, has rocks in his head."}}


<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
{{EmailReply|
Subject: Re: I See


I am fully aware of her Fan Fictions, and I do not judge her by that. I, Christian Weston Chandler, LIKE LESBIANS AND THEIR SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS; that does not make me queer or weird.


Aside from the Googling, you surely have had a hand in the creation of that page on the CWCki and the mockery that was typed on said page. [SHE] IS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!!!}}


{{Email|YOU SOUND AWFULLY INSECURE LITTLE CUZZES! THE DUDES FROM GHOST HUNTERS BONING EACH OTHER IN THE BUTTHOLES AIN'T LESBIAN, SORRY TO BREAK IT TO YOU. : (


Uhh i think lesbians are pretty hot myself but a three some of Jaden Yuiki, Yugi Mutou, and Maximillion Pegasus AREN'T quite the hot lesbians your thinking of!


AND YOU'RE RIGHT THAT STEVEN KING LADY THING IS BEAUTIFUL!


"NIGGA YOU GAY!"}}


{{EmailReply|
Subject: ENOUGH!


You still have not answered my firm fact that you have created that page on the CWCki.}}


[[File:1291076619823.jpg|thumb|left|True words to live by.]]
[[File:Chrischanpantsu.jpg|thumb|right|We apologize for making you see this again. It was necessary.]]


{{Email|
Subject: SMOOTH MOVE LADDIE!


<nowiki>:I</nowiki> forgot to mention little cuzin, I have tasted the flesh that was [Wallflower], and it was quite Delicious. She got so moist over my Ancient Hawaiian Saying. "It's time for a dicking."


P.S: Nice Undies: http://img682.imageshack.us/img682/4083/undies.png


(If you wear something underneath your kilt, it counts as a skirt, dumbass)


<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
AS THE ANCIENT HAWAIIANS USED TO SAY: "Smooth Move Bonehead."}}


[[File:FuckYouTito.jpg|thumb|leftt|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFoEKcf01qs After the break I'm gonna soak my arm in kerosene, light it, then fistfuck a goat.]]]


{{EmailReply|
Subject: [[Random-access humor|You are the Bonehead, Crapboardin' Airhead!]]


Watch your back; I WILL FIND YOU! [[Chris and his Ego|I have connections]]. And after the Meet and Greet, I will kick your sorry ass and punch your bulbous gut so far up, it shoots out your head right through your skull.


I WILL FIND YOU!}}


{{EmailReply|
Subject: >:(


Sit, Spin and Shut the Fuck Up, [[Niggos|NIGGER!!!]] And I WILL call you That RIGHT IN YOUR FACE!!!}}


{{EmailReply|
Subject: None


Dude, YOU are NOT her Boyfriend; Back the Fuck Off, You God Damn Trollin' Stupid Nigger.}}
{{Email|I am sorry it took me so long to reply cause I couldn't stop laughing at this whole "I will kick your sorry ass and punch your bulbous gut" noise.


A manchild who claims to have so much strength yet gets tired after humping a console for 1 minute ya lazy sap. You're so lazy you don't even fight your own fights. How am I suppose to be scared of that? All you seem to do is punch cameras & throw Yosemite Sam kinds of tantrums. The only thing that I'm afraid of is being anywhere near the walking Health Hazard that is you. Seriously I don't think you even bathe. I've seen Guys in fucking Burger Joints with Better Complexion than you, and their head first in the grease. Do you even have Hair? I'm glad you embraced your inner homo with that skirt of yours. It's almost as gay as that bra/panty pic you took awhile back that I'm still washing my eyes out with bleach.


P,S: cut the child out of Manchild an leave [Wallflower] alone. I'm surprised she hasn't filed a restraining order on your naive ass at this point.


AS THE ANCIENT HAWAIIANS USED TO SAY: "The seagull that flies a crooked path, has a rough time returning Home."}}


{{EmailReply|
Subject: [[Cole Smithey|DO NOT CONTACT ME EVER AGAIN!]]


I know [Wallflower] is NOT doing anything with you, and she does NOT even KNOW you. You can just go shoot yourself in the head and die, [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|you damned, trolling stupid, pickle-suited NIGGER.]]}}


<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
==See also==


*[[The Wallflower]]
*[[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]]


{{TitoSaga}}
{{Emails}}


 
[[Category:Trolling]]
 
[[Category:E-mails]]
 
[[Category: Surfshack Tito Saga]]
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Latest revision as of 21:09, 31 August 2023

HonestContent.jpg
This article is rated M for Honest Content
It may contain content deemed not safe for work. Reader discretion is advised.

In March 2010, the troll Surfshack Tito exchanged a series of e-mails with Chris. These were leaked on 18 March 2010, to the amusement of all and sundry. They are reproduced below, with Tito's messages on a red background and Chris's replies on a blue background.

There's not a great deal of genuinely revealing information in the e-mails, although Tito's mockery is good for a chuckle regardless. We do learn, however, that Chris was aware of the Wallflower's obsession with gay fan-fiction, and it apparently didn't bother him (or it didn't bother him enough to deter him from his quest to get laid, anyway).

The e-mails

Subject: I HAVE INFORMATION ON [WALLFLOWER], MY FAT LITTLE CUZZIN

HEY THERE LITTLE CUZ! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FELL FOR MY LITTLE SPY! WELL YOU ARE PRETTY DUMB. ANYWAY, NOW THAT I TRICKED YOU I THREW HER INFORMATION TO THE TROLLS. AHAHA! IN DEMAIL YOU SHOULD SEE A PIC OF ME AT THE RIGHT AND YOU'RE BOYFRIEND AT THE LEFT!

AS THE ANCIENT HAWAIIANS USED TO SAY.

"The coconut is always sweeter on the palm tree you can't reach!"

You're friend Tito!

An image accompanied the above e-mail, a picture of the Wallflower with some big guy who looked Polynesian enough to pass as an IRL Tito.

Subject: You are NOT even my Acquaintance, Period

Fuck Off, you God Damn Troll!!!

Sorry little cuz, it wasn't my fault. You leaked her pen name in your Little Big Planet level. I just had to google it and got all her nasty gay porn writings. Have you even read her writings? They're all about men having sex with men. Like the one she wrote about the guys from ghost hunters having sex. It's pretty gay stuff.

I'll quote one of her fictions in my next emails.

So long, Brudda.

As the Ancient Hawaiians Said: "He who carves himself in stone, has rocks in his head."

Subject: Re: I See

I am fully aware of her Fan Fictions, and I do not judge her by that. I, Christian Weston Chandler, LIKE LESBIANS AND THEIR SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS; that does not make me queer or weird.

Aside from the Googling, you surely have had a hand in the creation of that page on the CWCki and the mockery that was typed on said page. [SHE] IS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!!!

YOU SOUND AWFULLY INSECURE LITTLE CUZZES! THE DUDES FROM GHOST HUNTERS BONING EACH OTHER IN THE BUTTHOLES AIN'T LESBIAN, SORRY TO BREAK IT TO YOU. : (

Uhh i think lesbians are pretty hot myself but a three some of Jaden Yuiki, Yugi Mutou, and Maximillion Pegasus AREN'T quite the hot lesbians your thinking of!

AND YOU'RE RIGHT THAT STEVEN KING LADY THING IS BEAUTIFUL!

"NIGGA YOU GAY!"

Subject: ENOUGH!

You still have not answered my firm fact that you have created that page on the CWCki.

True words to live by.
We apologize for making you see this again. It was necessary.

Subject: SMOOTH MOVE LADDIE!

:I forgot to mention little cuzin, I have tasted the flesh that was [Wallflower], and it was quite Delicious. She got so moist over my Ancient Hawaiian Saying. "It's time for a dicking."

P.S: Nice Undies: http://img682.imageshack.us/img682/4083/undies.png

(If you wear something underneath your kilt, it counts as a skirt, dumbass)

AS THE ANCIENT HAWAIIANS USED TO SAY: "Smooth Move Bonehead."

After the break I'm gonna soak my arm in kerosene, light it, then fistfuck a goat.

Subject: You are the Bonehead, Crapboardin' Airhead!

Watch your back; I WILL FIND YOU! I have connections. And after the Meet and Greet, I will kick your sorry ass and punch your bulbous gut so far up, it shoots out your head right through your skull.

I WILL FIND YOU!

Subject: >:(

Sit, Spin and Shut the Fuck Up, NIGGER!!! And I WILL call you That RIGHT IN YOUR FACE!!!

Subject: None

Dude, YOU are NOT her Boyfriend; Back the Fuck Off, You God Damn Trollin' Stupid Nigger.

I am sorry it took me so long to reply cause I couldn't stop laughing at this whole "I will kick your sorry ass and punch your bulbous gut" noise.

A manchild who claims to have so much strength yet gets tired after humping a console for 1 minute ya lazy sap. You're so lazy you don't even fight your own fights. How am I suppose to be scared of that? All you seem to do is punch cameras & throw Yosemite Sam kinds of tantrums. The only thing that I'm afraid of is being anywhere near the walking Health Hazard that is you. Seriously I don't think you even bathe. I've seen Guys in fucking Burger Joints with Better Complexion than you, and their head first in the grease. Do you even have Hair? I'm glad you embraced your inner homo with that skirt of yours. It's almost as gay as that bra/panty pic you took awhile back that I'm still washing my eyes out with bleach.

P,S: cut the child out of Manchild an leave [Wallflower] alone. I'm surprised she hasn't filed a restraining order on your naive ass at this point.

AS THE ANCIENT HAWAIIANS USED TO SAY: "The seagull that flies a crooked path, has a rough time returning Home."

Subject: DO NOT CONTACT ME EVER AGAIN!

I know [Wallflower] is NOT doing anything with you, and she does NOT even KNOW you. You can just go shoot yourself in the head and die, you damned, trolling stupid, pickle-suited NIGGER.

See also

Surfshacktito saga.png Tito Saga Surfshacktito saga.png
The Players: The Games: The Prizes:
Coinciding Sagas: Clyde Cash, PSN Hacking, First Exile, Calling Out

v • d • e  
Emails
Misc. early emails
Megan Schroeder
Vivian Gee
Blanca Weiss
Aug • Sept • Oct 2008 • Letter
Clyde Cash
PSN Hacking
Jack Thaddeus (1 • 2 • 3) • Samantha Thaddeus • Katie Bay (1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6) • Regina e-mails • Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails
CWCipedia Mailbag
1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9 • 10 • 11 • 12 • 13 • 14 • 15 • 16 • 17 • 18 • 19 • 20 • 21 • 22 • 23 • 24 • 25 • 26 • 27 • 28 • 29 • 30 • 31 • 32 • 33 • 34 • 35 • 36 • 37 • 38 • 39 • 40 • 41 • 42 • 43 • 44 • 45 • 46 • 47 • 48 • 49 • 50 • 51 • 52 • 53 • 54 • 55 • 56 • 57• 58 • 59 • 60 • 61 • 62 • Common Questions
The Wallflower/Tito
Jackie Romy
1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9 • 10 • 11 • 12 • 13 • 14 • 15 • 16 • 17 • 18 • 19 • 20 • 21 • 22 • 23 • 24 • 25 • 26 • 27 • 28 • 29 • 30 • 31
Catherine
Thetan
LoveYouLongTime
Other
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