Gal pal

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My circle of gal-pals was the best asset and blessing anyone could ever ask for.
Chris, Autism Tutorial Part 3

Chris's gal pals at his 18th birthday party. From left to right: Sarah Hammer, Kellie Andes, Friend Brought Along, Miranda Joyce Mitchell, Sarah Bevel, Tiffany Gowen.

A gal pal or gal-pal is a CWC-ism for a female friend. Chris claims to have had a lot of these in high school. Since then, he has been lamenting over the lack of gal-pals for over a decade.

Chris and gal-pals

Chris said, "in my autism test it was found that I get along better with women, well over men."[1] He has always been hesitant towards making friends with males due to bad experiences with jerks. Perhaps because of this, he has adopted rather feminine traits and mannerisms (such as assuming the cowgirl sexual position in the sex tape, or having a collection of My Little Ponys), ignorant to the fact that what might be acceptable for girls would be considered taboo for guys.

In typical Chris style, he has managed to drive every single gal-pal away. He believes that due to all his gal-pals, he had his pick of which to turn into his sweetheart and that he missed out on this opportunity during high school, oblivious that they probably associated with him out of pity.

It is also interesting to note that he never refers to girls as "friends", only "gal-pals". Usually, this phrase is used by women when talking about their social clique. Only gay men ever refer to female friends as "gal-pals", and even then, they're usually joking. Men talking about female companions will just say "friend", or "a girl who happens to be my friend" as opposed to a "girlfriend", because in English colloquy, the latter is implying a romantic relationship. The fact that Chris never thinks of girls around him as "friends" and repeatedly calls them "gal-pals" (which he probably thinks is cute, him being "one of the girls") reasserts his sexism. He doesn't see the women in his life as equals and companions, he sees them as possible china.

Notable gal-pals

Other gal-pals

Tiffany Robinson

Tiffany Robinson was a friend of Chris in the days he lived in Richmond. She was Chris's first crush. In Chris's words, "we would hang out now and then during school hours and play. Then in the 4th Grade, she dumped me for some other boy. I do not know much of what she has been up to these days."

Natasha Turner

Natasha Turner was a friend Chris met at Providence Middle School, and who was slightly older than him. He felt very fond of her, and they were next-door neighbors for a while, often hanging out at the bus stop near their homes.

Sarah Anne Bevel

Sarah Anne Bevel (in green, on the right) and Miranda Joyce Mitchell (in black, next to her).

Sarah Anne Bevel was Chris's classmate at Manchester High. She had a sweetheart there named Brian Smart. Chris recalls hearing that they broke up some time in the 2000s.

In a Facebook post of 12 September 2013, Chris lamented how Sarah claimed to have no longer known him, despite apparently being one of his "Closest Friends".[2] On 19 November, Chris posted that it was Sarah who revealed the "hurtfullest truth" that his gal-pals were in fact "Hired Help."[3]

Molly Quarles

Molly Quarles was a cheerleader (the same year as Laura Beth Dorazio) during Chris's Freshman Year. She shared a few classes with Chris. Chris recalls being matched up in a "dating match-up thing" they had every Valentines Day at Manchester High. According to Chris it was "the ONLY match-up I felt was a good match-up at all back then."[4] In October 2013, Chris was reported while trying to get back in touch with her via Facebook to see if her friendship too was only out of pity.[5]

Miranda Joyce Mitchell

Miranda Joyce Mitchell was a girl with whom Chris shared a few classes. According to Chris, she was "a big brain of my Circle of Friends." Miranda, or "Maranda" as she was dubbed by Chris,[6] helped our hero out in his early website creating days by redesigning the CWC's PokéSite 2! logo.

Betrayal

On 30 October, 2013, Chris posted on Facebook about a recent discovery that all of his cherished gal-pals from Manchester High School had only put up with him out of pity for him.

I let Christian hang out with us mainly because we felt sorry for him. He sort of latched onto us, like he expected us to protect him. He was like a lost little boy. Sometimes I think he saw us as sort of mother figures, which seems a little creepy now, but Christian seemed harmless enough back then, and we didn't mind him hanging out with us. As far as socializing goes, we didn't really hang with him outside of school, except for the time we went to his 18th birthday party.
An e-mail from one of Chris's "friends"

Of course, this comes as a surprise to no one except Chris, as the vast majority of his gal-pals have indeed been white knights trying to protect him.

Gallery

Sources

The CWC-tionary

Relationships: Attraction Location | Boyfriend-free girl | Darling | Dating education | Friend Zone | Gal-pal | Heart Level | Homos | Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor | Love Quest | Noviophobia | SLGBTQ | Sweetheart | Sweetheart from the Ground-Up

Sex: China | Comeuppance | Duck | JULAY | Mass debating | Negligent | Pedofork | Pickle | Recycling | Soul Bonding | Virgin with rage | Virginia is for Virgins | Women's rights

Himself: Biological clock | Butt garments | Captain's Log | Christian Love Day | DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS | Fuzzy-Wuzzies & Prickly-Wicklies | Honest Content | I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD | Monthly tugboat | Muscle bra | Random-access humor | Saga | Scale of Respect | Tomgirl |

Stressors: 4-cent_garbage | GOPony | HEXBox | JERKS | Jerkops | Kick the Autistic | Manajerks | Naïve | Niggos | Pmurt | Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens | Slow-in-the-minds | Tobacky

Fantasies: Curse-ye-ha-me-ha | Dimension | Fangs | Godjesus | Iron Curtain | OC | Un-clit

Comics: Anchuent Prophecy | Da Update | Electric Hedgehog Pokemon | Nombie-zazis | Parody | Rosechu | Sonichu | Sub-Episodes | Sweetbolt


See also: Chris and English | List of phrases Chris copied from media