Jackie E-mails 6

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Origin of Chris's transvestite urges. Chris on shoving things up his ass, Bluespike, trannies look more attractive when in drag, how he needs a girlfriend/mother to move out, how it's his parent's fault for being old, how he wants to commit fraud and collect the most money for the least amount of effort (while believing he has any say on how many hours he'll work if he somehow got a job), and lying to his parents about yet another credit card on another freefall back into debt.

Emails

July 28, 2010 - 2:12pm

Oh, you saw Pink Flamingos! I really like how all the characters were just such terrible people, Babs was fighting a war to be the worst person in the world, it was great. John Waters can go sooo out there when he wants to, he's so quirky. Here's a cool picture I found of Divine and John Waters together, that's Divine without his makeup. Doesn't he look totally different? My uncle actually looks a little bit like him, he's got that kind of roly-poly charm to him. I'm glad that you're opening up to homosexual artists like that, it's so good that you're seeking to open your mind and expand your horizons. There's a lot of really cool movies, music, literature, and artwork out there by some very talented people. Also, since you liked that I have another movie you might get into: It's called Cannibal Holocaust, it was directed by a guy named Ruggero Deodato, it's kind of an over-the-top satire in the same way Pink Flamingos is. I think you'd like it.

I'm not sure that I want to post under your name, I don't think it would be wise to have two people writing under the same name, even though I could post under your name they would probably notice the change in IP and get suspicious, so I think you should do most of the writing. But I might log in to your account just so I can look around and keep an eye on things, that way I can observe directly. But I probably won't do anything with it.

That's really cool that you could tell me your fantasy like that! When I mentioned anal sex I was thinking of, you know, being the receptive partner, I've never thought about wearing a strap-on or anything like that, but I could definitely keep my mind open. What do you think about the other way around, though?

Hey, do you have an AIM name? I'm not on all the time but it might be cool if we could talk on instant messenger. I seem to usually be around during the evenings these days, most of my driving is in the morning. My username is my email, <>. Let me know!

XOXOXO

Jackie

July 28, 2010 - 3:40pm

Firstly, let me inform you that I've got Junior's ball(s) rolling on the forum, http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=579#579. I understand the IP address scenario, but anything you can find that I may have missed on there, I would appreciate being informed about. I have found nothing on the current Credit Fraud plan yet. Plus, I'm feeling a bit tired; I'll be taking a rest in a bit.

Of course I would give you the Anal Pleasure myself, and I am glad you liked my idea of the strap-on for you too. A couple of other items I've recalled that I'd like to try include bondage and/or punishment, and in the tub or shower.

I get shocked at cannibalism, and it's not my thing, but I will check out "Cannibal Holocaust" anyway. Also, there was no picture attached to the e-mail, nor a link to one.

And I am not on the internet that much to IM, so let's just leave it to e-mail for now, unless you've got a monthly cell-phone plan upgrade from the pay-as-you-go plan, then we can talk over the phone. :)

Other current topics of my interest, the ModNation people upgraded the XP distribution for More Points given, so the final Two Trophies of "250,000 Create XP Points" and "XP Level 30", followed by the Platinum Trophy are closer in my grasp.

And I've gone through my DVD collection and sorted out about 20 of them earlier to sell; I went to a few local Pawn Shops, but they're not accepting DVDs nowadays. They have too many, and considering them obsolete. :( Fortunately, I later remembered Plan 9, and they took 3/4 of my DVD bunch, giving me about $23 in cash. It's a start in the right direction for me anyway. :)

I'll TTYL. Stay Safe and Sweet.
Thinking of you. XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.

July 28 2010 - 3:53pm

Whoops! Sorry, I forgot to attach the picture of John Waters and Divine. Here they both are. Doesn't Divine have just the cutest cheeks?

I'll keep bumming around the forum when I'm able, I'm kind of tired right now so I might not do anything before tonight at the earliest anyway. Let me know if you find anything.

There's not really a whole lot of actual cannibalism in Cannibal Holocaust, there's a lot more to it, the name is kind of misleading. I think you'll like it!

I'm curious, what got you interested into anal sex? I think when the guy receives it with a strap-on it's called "pegging". Most guys aren't into that sort of thing, what attracts you to the idea? And what do you mean about the strap-on not being "penis-shaped", a strap-on would kind of have to be shaped like a penis by definition, wouldn't it? I've never seen one that isn't.

So you're selling your DVDs? That's cool, I used to have a bunch of DVDs but I never watched them so I got rid of them a few years ago, got a few bucks for them. Are you trying to save up your money for something?

XOXO

Jackie

July 29, 2010 - 6:52pm

Actually, there are some strap-on dildos that are Not penis-shaped. I offer an example from adameve.com, http://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/strap-on-sex-toys/sp-lucid-dream-harness-dong-35822.aspx. They even offer Strapless Strap-Ons, http://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/strap-on-sex-toys/sp-gal-pal-strapless-strap-on-dildo-35824.aspx. You can view further into their list of available Strap-Ons, and dildos, for more non penis-shaped dildos/strap-ons.

As for what turned me onto the idea was watching women doing it for themselves in some of the porn I watched. I tried it myself with just my fingers, and it felt alright to me, especially recently. Over a year ago, I had tried it with the "famed" white dildo I later video-recorded breaking apart (the seal keeping the two pieces of plastic together was really though, but I managed to cut through the glue and unscrew the two pieces. Even removed and kept undamaged the motor inside that shaft). And a little later, I did receive ONE set of anal beads for free from a past order from adameve.com; I shoved them up my ass. I did not really get the idea behind them then, so that was a waste of time then. Recently, I learned that anal beads, or ben-wa balls, are to be left up the ass (and/or vagina for women), and the stimulation would be felt upon walking movement (found the info on Wikipedia). And a last straw that broke me from anal stimulation for months was the Blackmail from one of the major trolls; wanted me to shove my 2nd hand-crafted medal up my ass. And the later video showed, I cut it up into pieces and shoved each piece one at a time up my ass. I later expelled them into the toilet. There were a number of rough portions from the cut edges that made it quite uncomfortable for me during the time the pieces were up in there. But I have recovered from that ordeal, and I am good to go for anal play from my lady friend, you. :)

I was selling the DVDs in a trial at the Otakon, and with the at-the-door fee being $75, and my family being against me going there ("Walking into the Trolls' Lair" paranoia), it was not meant to be for me to be there this year. But at least I tried, and on the good hand, I cleared up some shelf space, and got some green from it.

Thanks for the photo of "Divine" and John; IMHO, "Divine" looked a LOT better with the makeup and wig. The face was weird for me when I saw it. But after a moment of composure, I took another look; you are right, his cheeks are okay.

Currently, I'm contemplating on Junior's first "Chris Chan" expose on the Fourm, or a topic to get them to talk of their plan. I would like your opinion of what "Junior" should do next on there, please.

Also, and this is Confidential; keep it OFF of the internet, but you recall me applying for a job at the new Wal-Mart I've told you about previously. Well, the building was open for people to "Apply Within" for Hiring, so I went there earlier today to check on the status of my online application. It is on file, it is good until April 14, and the head people there will call me next week for an interview on my home phone. So, while it is looking good, a prayer for my getting a job there would be appreciated. I will be planning to work 28 hours a week; having previously figured that I can earn up to $980 a month and keep my S.S.I. (monthly tugboat).

In any case, I should still be able to spend the day with you when we meet in August and afford to treat you then. If any schedule change comes up from Wal-Mart, I will let you know.

Again, the planned meeting location will be at the Starbucks by the China King Buffet, across from Fashion Square Mall. And I still await for the date of your return arrival.

I'll TTYL.
Stay Safe and Sweet.
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.

July 29, 2010 - 7:56pm

Yeah, I remember I read about the video where you shoved that medallion up your ass, didn't they give you the option of burning it instead? It just seems like it would have been safer if you had burned it, you could have injured yourself. Oh well, no harm done now, I suppose. So you've tried using a dildo and anal beads? Wow, you're pretty experienced with it. I was wondering, what exactly do you use to keep... clean, you know? And what kind of lubricant do you use? I know anal play can be dangerous if you don't properly lubricate.

I really don't get why you think going to Otakon would be "walking into the trolls' lair". I mean, I know there will probably be trolls there, but really, you should just man up and go and accept the risk of being called out or something. I mean, what's the worst that could happen, some stupid troll shouts an insult at you? This is a great opportunity for you to have a new and fun experience, and you'll have a lot more fun if you go there than if you just stay home. I'd really love for you to go to Otakon and be able to tell me all about what happened and what a great time you have.

I mean, if you REALLY wanted to go, couldn't you just get in your car and drive there? Or take a greyhound bus or something if you're worried about driving your car long distances? What exactly would your parents do if you did? You're not a little kid, they can't punish you. But it kind of sounds like you didn't really want to go though anyway. I wish you wanted to do something more exciting for once, but I guess it's up to you. In fact, I was thinking of trying to stop over in Baltimore to see if I could meet up with you; I was going through that area eventually anyway, but if you just don't feel like going, I guess I won't change my pre-planned schedule.

But I digress. Good luck with the Wal-Mart job! I'll keep quiet about it. I'll be praying for you to get it. But if you get a job, why would you still need your social security? I mean, that money is really for people who aren't able to work, so it kind of defeats the purpose for you to keep it if you're working. Hey I'm curious, why do you call it a "tugboat"?

As for the troll forum, I haven't had much time today to look at it, so I haven't seen much. I would recommend you just make some innoccuous posts first, just get yourself involved in the community. You say "Junior" is across the street from your house, right? I found this thread: http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=67&sid=4f8dcb2b6c216aa8b7d44b522a5fd9ba. It's about that girl you were friends with named <wallflower first name>, the guy who started it is writing stuff about her, maybe you could sneak in and unbalance it a little since you knew <wallflower first name>? Also, I saw one guy on the forum suggested you get some info on Chris or maybe some pictures since you're so close, like Junior could pretend to become your friend or something. You could try going with that, just an idea. I'll think more later when I have time.

XOXO

Jackie

July 30, 2010 - 10:40am

I do not think I'm as experienced with anal-play as you think; I don't do that as often as I masturbate. I would wash anything that goes up my ass with soap, water and a washcloth; keeping in mind that I would use only solid items, nothing gel or jelly-like, in that sense (easier to clean). KY Jelly is my choice lubricant, although I mostly use it to lube up my penis for masturbation sometimes.

The paranoia of the trolls at the Otakon is really of my parents. And I just can not afford the trip, financially, at this time. And mom and dad threatened to call the Police on me, cut off the food money they give me daily and change all of the locks on the house doors, if I drove myself out there or whatever. They literally called the police on me when I drove to Cleveland (as a Missing Person report then).

IMHO, having Seinor Citizens for Parents throughout your whole life is no picnic; they are WORSE Overprotective. I mean, my father was well over 50 when I was born, and my mom was just over 40. I wish my parents were younger by about 20 years, then maybe they would have been more helpful, social, understanding and cool. I appreciate for everything they have done for me throughout my life, yet now as an adult, I get a bunch of tough, raw deals. One reason why I need a girlfriend is so I can hang out with her and get away from my parents for an extended time without worry.

I have contemplated the idea of Junior and me being buds, but I still have to think further in how that would work. I will, however, take your good idea of harmless posts for the time being. Thank you for your valued input.

Between having the SSI and the money from the job, I would make well over 1500 a month together; I do not think anyone at Wal-Mart (below Manager-like positions) would make that much a month, so it works for the better. And I use the term, "Tugboat", in reference to the expression, "Our ship has come in", which is in reference to a HUGE amount of money coming your way. The "ship" is defined normally as a Luxury Cruise Ship, yet it can either come in without trouble, or more likely Sink and Fail. A Tugboat is More Reliable, and it comes in at a scheduled time per trip. A tugboat is less likely to sink, because it is built more durably than a cruise ship. And that is why I call my monthly SSI income my monthly Tugboat.

Which makes me feel blessed to have you back, giving me a second chance for us together in our relationship and romance. It would be a terrible shock and major hurt for me if I lost you again.

I need to recover for now, but I'll TTYL.

Stay Safe and Sweet. I care deeply about you.
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Love and Peace,
Christian.

July 30, 2010 - 6:25pm

Hey Chris!

You know, there's a few things that make me feel a little sad about what you write here. You say that your parents would call the police on you if you went to Otakon? I understand if they did that before if they didn't know where you were when you went to Ohio, they were probably very worried if you just disappeared when they didn't expect you would do something like that. But there is no reason why they could call the police on you if you just told them you were going beforehand. Then they wouldn't have a reason to call the police because they'd know where you are. I understand how annoying it can be when parents are overprotective but if you want to be an adult you need to take on the responsibilities of an adult, and part of that means that you stand up for yourself and don't just be a pushover when your family gives you a hard time.

And you really didn't answer my question about why you would still need your social security. You say that if you were making $1500 a month, that would be doing better than all the other employees at your level, but isn't that just more of a reason why you DON'T need the social security? Just because it would be nice to have doesn't mean you need it, Chris. It would be nice if I got free money but I don't need to have it, and I'd feel bad about making people give it to me. And if you are already making like $800 a month on social security, why do you need your parents to give you food money? Isn't it YOUR money? And you could just move out if you didn't want to be under their yoke.

And what makes me really saddest of all is that you say you need a girlfriend to help you get away from your parents. But if your parents won't let you go to Otakon, what if they don't let you have a girlfriend? What if when we meet they decide they don't like me or something? Are you just going to let me go because your dad threatens to take away your allowance? You have a LOT of video games you could have sold, Chris. I bet you've got quite a few that are still in demand that stores would pay good money for. But even if you had no games to sell, if you get $800 a month, and your parents give you free food and you don't have to pay rent, how could you not afford a little $75 ticket? And haven't you been planning to go to Otakon for months? I don't get what the challenge is supposed to have been. I think you really, really dropped the ball here Chris.

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, I don't mean to be. I am glad we're talking again too, I want to try to make it work. I just don't understand so much that's going on here, is all. I'd write more but I need to get going now so I'll write later. Well, tell me what you post on the troll forum. Have you had any more ideas for how to get information out of them? Let me know :)

XOXO

Jackie

July 31, 2010 - 10:52am

Firstly, you misunderstood what I had stated in my last e-mail.
First, I stated that I can make a maximum of $980 a month from a job, And Keep my S.S.I. of the current $820 a month. I did not state that I was going to make 1500 on the Job Alone. I stated that BETWEEN Both the Job And the S.S.I. Together, I would make over 1500. In this case, it would be 980 + 820 = up to 1800 in all. Without the S.S.I., the money from the job alone would be Well Less than 1500 a month. And consider I pay my father 480 a month, Plus 100 for paying him back for settling my Credit Card debts before. That would still leave me with between 200 and 300 from my S.S.I. On the job alone, after paying my father the monthly room/board + etc., it would be a Little More, but I could still do a lot better for Saving and such.

So, I'll put it upon you to consider, Jackie. Would you rather I kill my S.S.I. and make only a little over 1000 per month from the job alone? Or would you rather I Combine the Job And the S.S.I. and make Almost 2000, which is nearly double of the job alone? Less monthly expenses to be applied, of course.

Also, I would like to let you know that I was more capable of putting my answer to the question this time, because Last Time, it was AFTER I had informed you of the Cwcki and my Trolls, and I felt a LOT of Worry over losing you and our relationship from the Lucricities of what the Trolls were saying about me. And with the worry on my head weighing me down heavily, I felt soo blank in the mind, the financial question and such, as well as the misunderstandings, only made me feel Heavier Confusion, and I felt need a Lot of time to recover from that. Add all of the feelings I had for you then, I felt total mental chaos and chose the wrong way to approach it and get away.

I have felt a lot of regret from that mistake I made of leaving you, and I am really, really sorry about what I did then.

But now that you have blessed me with your return and the new chance at our relationship, I feel a whole lot better and more mentally stable. I thank you with my heart for this, Jackie. :)

Now, for the first paragraph topic of your e-mail, my mother and father HAD known about the Otakon for like a month beforehand. During that time they were cool about it, and I did have a plan laid out. But in early July here, I got a bit carried away with my impulsiveness, and not only spent the money planned to be set aside, but went into heavy overdraft. I thought my mom and dad would take it more calm, because I came to them honestly and openly, but no, they were angry and disappointed in me. They helped me out, and we got it all sorted out with the Overdraft fees Refunded.

As for the Otakon, I offered to my parents that I would earn the money back for the trip by looking for work, pawning or such. But they were soo against me from disappointment, that they then threatened Calling the Police without bailing me out of jail, Changing the locks on the house doors, and taking my car and my money away from me. I mean, even AFTER offering to earn the money back myself, they shot me down... I was disappointed in myself heavily too. All of this was cleared up about on the 12th of July, I got a refund of my pre-registration fee from the Otakon, less a couple of dollars, and things have settled down since then.

Before you contacted me again to renew our relationship, I was aiming towards selling myself out as a Male Escort to earn money. I tried applying with C-Ville's "Naughty & Nice" Escort Service; they did not take me. And I printed and discreetly passed out cards, along with posting an ad on escorts.com, under the new alias of "Carlos Chantor"(DO NOT Tell anyone else of my new alias). Nothing came from that; noone called me. And then I read your e-mails and talked to you again; I put that Last Resort of mine behind me and forgot about it. Because of you, I went back to bettering myself for you. I still remain untouched and unkissed.

Third Paragraph Topic: Firstly, my mom and dad Positively, Truly encourage me to have a Girlfriend, so that should not be a concern. I am positive my parents will like you, and I am Not going to let you go again, Ever. I do have a number of games, but I still have my attachments with them for now. Selling the DVDs recently was a First Step for me in that direction, so selling a number of the games will likely follow soon; just not right now. Monetarily-Wise, I have explained that in the upper paragraph: I DO pay my father a monthly wage, 580 a month currently, plus Confidentially, I got a new credit card that mom and dad do not know about that I'm paying 50 a month on, then there's Netflix and GameFly, and I was impulsive with my gaming addiction I'm working to get over early this month. *sigh* The Challenges for me here are practicing more self-control, being less impulsive... yada, yada, yada. It's all my own mental problems, putting the Damned Autism aside.

There are a number of things for me to understand as well here.

But all things aside, with my heart, I Want you and me, our relationship, to work too. You and I, we had a lot of match-ups between us on OKCupid. :) I am happy we're talking again too, and I am looking forward to our meet at the planned Starbucks next month. Jacklyn, Please come to me, show me your good feelings towards me, offer me a helping hand, and importantly, Please be mine and let me be yours. <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 XOXOXOXOXO

Stay Safe and Sweet,
Christian.