Katie Bay E-mails

For a short period in July 2009, Chris, pretending to be Samantha Thaddeus, tried to work his magic on her friend Katie Bay. For a couple of days, they were honest friends until Chris forgot about her.

Emails

Saturday 18 July 2009

I forgot, which of Chrissy's accounts do you have again? I had IT and the password on paper, and I fuckin' lost it. I swear girl, if my head was not screwed on so well, I'd lose it at my mall or somewhere. Love ya, Sam

Sunday 19

Oh, I have like these two blank ones, this Chinese one, this English one or something, I believe Jack has the others. why you ask? -kate

Like I said, I had ALL the accounts hand-written, sign-on IDs, passwords and all, on paper for my reference to make sure we can milk this Troll Gig on Chris for as long as possible. I had it by my computer, but then the next minute it was gone. Then later on, I found shredded scraps by my dog's dish. :( Bad dog. So I gotta get the info back the hard way. I really appreciate the help, Kate. :) Love ya, Sam

I'll give them to ya when we meet up tonight for Mike's party. Dontcha worry bout it, k sam? I got it all here on this sticky note. -kate

Yo Sam, you weren't at the party and your cell ain't working. I just left cuz you weren't there. Is anything going on? You haven't replied... -kate

Sorry, Kate. My daddy wanted me to stay at home tonight. I had a LOONG day anyway. Maurice called me up; after a number of calls, I picked up and told him to fuck off and leave me alone. I can not believe I slept with that dumbass. Go ahead and e-mail me the info on your note; I'll hand-write it myself then. Love ya, Sam

Huh? You still listen to your dad? But he's all the way in Ohio! - kate

Yeah, I know. But he's still my dada, and I still care about him a bit. Sam

awwwww, what made you have such a change of heart? Well, since I couldn't contact you all day (you lost your cell again didn't you lol) I decided to take a trip to the mall to do some shopping. You shoulda been there, there was this awesome sale at Bath and Body Works. omg, but there was this creep at the mall though. He kept trying to hit on me but I just told him off. God, who does that? He was kinda cute tho, I'll give him that. Mike's party was no fun without you. I didn't know anyone at that party except for you but you didn't show. D: So, how was your day? -kate

He's always been there for me in my early years, and the sap still cares about me. My day was okay. I had heard Chris bombed out on daddy's challenge. I'll bet he could not get a woman to even approach him to save his own pathetic life. OMG When I had accessed his chinese account, I had noticed he spent 600 worthless yen on Um Jammer Lammy. I looked it up; even Imported, it still has the English Audio; what a dumbass. Still, the game looked fun from the screenshots, and I liked Lammy's outfit; so cute. But damn me losing my paper with all the passwords to Chrissy's accounts. Went with my cell and got fucking lost. I swear if my head was not so well-attached, I'd probably lose that too. I am sorry I missed the party; I can feel for you, I would not feel like it was fun without you either. I'll check ya later. Love ya, Sam

Yeah that Chris sure is a dumbass lol. Anyway, you seem pretty off today, anything the matter? Your day was just "okay"? Man, you must have done some crazy stuff. Tell me about it! -kate

Yeah, I did do one thing today. I had a couple of drinks, then I watched this show where this guy dumps his gal, then she tied dumbells on her feet, stood on her head and thrusted her legs up and down. I used 4 beer bottles, then I toppled over forwards and nearly poked an eye out with one of the bottles' mouth. That would have been great oral for my vision like my last guy did with my ass. :D I hurt a bit still, but at least I'm not dead yet.

Oh oh! I forgot to ask you the other day! Like when we watched the entire Pitchmen marathon on Discovery, which invention is your favorite? I need to know because Jane said she thought Impact Gel was the best and she's totally wrong, right? man, did you watch the billy mays tribute? holy shit sully made me cry so hard. -kate

Impact Gel? LOL, soo dumb. I loved the Breathing Artificial Plants; it's like bringing real life to the Art and Fake. Daddy just sent me the password for Chrissy's Japan (not China), ChrisLikesGiantBlackCocks; did not work for me. Did you change it?

wtf breathing artificial plants? That was never on the show lol. -kate

That's wierd [sic], I could swear I saw that in the marathon. It may have been in a past episode; my memory comes and goes, you know. LOL

well whatever, the Impact Gel guy was an asshole. I liked the Dual Saw guy though, he was so hot. omg, the chinese guy we met at the mall a week ago finally just messaged me back. I think I might want to go out with him. do you think he's hot? seriously let me know. -kate

oh, yes. I remember him. Hmm... Yeah, he's soo hawt; do it, girl. What's the password for that boy's Japan?

yeah yeah, I'll get that right after I call him. Oh man, I hope it isn't too late. Well, it's only 11:20, he sure is a pussy if he sleeps in early! Heh, I'm sounding like you... Wish me luck! -kate

THAT MOTHER FUCKER CHRIS GRRRR I'm so angry, I fucked up that call. God damn it! Okay, I call him right? And it just seems to go along fine right? He says something stupid and then he's like: "Whoops, it was like I had autism or aspergers or something!" And I couldn't stop laughing right? I kept thinking about Chris and shit and oh my god, I can't believe he somehow went into my head during this call. God damn it! I'm killing myself over this Sam. God damn...it... ugh, he thinks i'm an asshole or something -kate

Shoot. Oh well, you'll do better on the next guy. I'd say go cross-country and surprise Chrissy, but that pussy would not know the opportunity if she knocked Louder than Billy Mays. LOL I laughed a bit at that bad dub, but I don't like that he had thwarted dad's plans. He had planned to blackmail him into admitting Autism and something else. Now he plans to get him to dance to Avril LaVeign's ¨Girlfriend.¨LOL.

DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE A SHIT? GRRRRR, WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT TO SURPRISE CHRIS? WHAT ARE YOU ON?! WHAT BAD DUB WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOU AREN'T HELPING TONIGHT SAM

I'm sorry, Kate. I'm feeling kinda sleepy, and I think it caught up with my head. I'll talk to you later.

Monday 20

of course, you sure love dodging me when i have troubles huh

well i feel better now. Eh, it wasn't really your fault. That stupid Chris guy. Whatever. So, you feel like doing anything today Sam? I got nothin to do today. -kate

I gotta do some grocery shopping, Plus I'm having a few cramps, so I'm not feeling up to anything wild tonight. Also, I still would like the password to Chrissy's Japan stuff; please reply with it, as well as how your day's been. Stay fun, Kate. Love ya,

don't worry about the password stuff, I have it safe somewhere in my papers. My little bro has been messin' with stuff in my room. I took him out to lunch and we went to this one place that we've never been to. I forgot the name of the place, but the entire place is run by Taiwanese people. Like, they have broken english and it's so funny. They had some great Kung Pao chicken. I was gonna take him out to dinner too, but he's off at his friends house for a sleepover or something. So I'm just here cooking some dinner. Man, I haven't made mashed potatoes in forever. 5 more minutes til the boiling is done. -kate

Yum. :) I'll have to try that place. How did the pottoes come out; delicious as always. I hope your bro had a good time; if he shares, you'll have to me the details. I'm sure you'll come across the passwords soon enough. A few weeks ago, I had printed this awesome picture of Billly Mays, but I thought it got accidentally thrown away. I finally found it a couple of days ago. :) The sooner you find the it or remember it, the better. I'll check in again later. ;)

Tuesday 21

food was good, anyway You wanna hang out today? -kate

Wednesday 22

I'm sorry, Kate. I had a lot of chores around the pad yesterday, an I had not been able to get to my computer because of that. LOOONG day. How was your day yesterday? I'll check in again later. Love ya, Sam

ah, I picked up my little bro from the sleepover and he said it was cool. Well, you wanna hang out today? Evening maybe? I slept in today, i feel like so lazy lol but it's summer! -kate

well i figure you're still doing things around the house, but we can always do art tradeoffs again! YAY! Okay, i'm starting off with Mew from Pokemon! your turn! -kate

Thursday 23

sam...you there?

I am here, but I have to ask you, have you been in the full knowledge of the recent events with me, online, or were you an innocent bystander this whole time?

what are you talking about?

Friday 24

Photocopy... or photograph?

I will come clean then. I am really Christian; I have had control of this e-mail account since the 19th. In a confession of Sam posing as Jack Thadius (this whole time) that she e-mailed to me, Sam LET me me get into this e-mail account. It was like Sam gift-wrapped it and handed it to me for Christmas. Anyway, I wised up and tried to troll ¨Jack¨ back to get back my PSN accounts. I had learned more about her scheme in the IRC invite sent from ¨Jack¨. I know about her close associat at Sony, her brother at NBC29,Charlottesville, and the Hungry-For-CWC-Expose reporter at NBC29. As well as the rest of the dirt I hve learned on the side. As Sam pulled the plug and showed me her hand, I felt it was required to come clean with you, Kate. I am sorry. What game that started to Just get back my Japan and Spain PSN accounts (don't care for the other three cuntries; Hong Kong, Germany and France, since I have NO PSOne classic ties with any of those three). Vivian Gee took this news of Sam playing Jack wth shock, and sad, ¨She,s worse than Starscream.¨ I did not want to risk losing Sam's friendship ties with you, Kate, so I showed compassion as I normally would and tried my best to continue her caring friendship with you. With you, Katie, I meant no harm. Again, I am soo sorry if I hurt you. I hope you and I can be friends after all this. Please accept this drawing from my own hands; it's a photocopy of the Original drawing I framed and gave to my Cousin, Johnathan, and his bride, Britanney. You are the first individual, online, to get a .jpg of this, I promise. The only alternative to seeing it online is from within my --CWC Dare-- Video on Youtube. I will leave it up to you on what you wish to do with this .jpg; share it, mess it up or whatever, but I offer it to you first as an extension of goodwill and friendship. I liked your mew drawing. :) It was really cute. Take care and stay safe. Love and Peace, Christian W. Chandler.

I didn't know Sam did all this stuff. She told me about you and said that "he's some retard on the internet". I didn't know she did all this stuff. I have a lot to think about. -kate

I understand. If you need a friendly ear, I'm available at my ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com address.

I just want to know what Sam has been doing. -kate

I'll forward to you some of her messages I've received, including her confession. I've saved the e-mails, and they are mostly old, so direct forwarding on some may be undoable, but I will copy/paste the body, as well as the details for each message.