Difference between revisions of "PlayStation 3"

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[[File:Cwcps3 by nevermonkey-d4jrnny.jpg|thumb|A life upgrade.]]
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[[File:Cwcps3 by nevermonkey-d4jrnny.jpg|thumb|A life upgrade.]]
The [[Sony]] '''PlayStation 3''', or '''PS Triple''' in troll parlance (purchased 17 March [[2007]]<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref> - [[The MovingFoward videos|28 August 2010]]), is a video game console released in 2006 as the third generation in Sony's PlayStation line of consoles. It introduced features such as the ability to play Blu-ray discs, further social and online features, and the PlayStation Network. However, the console had a rocky start due to a high price tag ($599 for a 60GB model, and $499 for a 20GB model, equivalent to $896.82 and $747.10 respectively considering inflation as of 2023), among other problems; still, during its 11-year lifespan, it sold 87.4 million units, which while nothing compared to the PlayStation 2's numbers (where it is still the highest-selling console of all time) is still quite respectable.


{{DeadLinks}}
The PS3 is notable for being [[Chris]]'s original "life upgrade". He desperately wanted to win one in a [[Pixelated PS3|contest]], to the point where he built one out of [[Pixelblocks]] and a slim PS2, and declared that he would "throw out the cure for [[autism]]" for one.<ref>[[Pixelated PS3]]</ref> Chris eventually went ahead and bought one with his [[monthly tugboat]]. In [[August 2010]], following [[#Molestations and other PS3 damage|repeated PS3 abuse]], he [[#Destruction|destroyed]] his life upgrade...only to purchase another shortly after.


The [[Sony]] '''PlayStation 3''' or '''PS Triple''' in troll parlance (purchased 17 March [[2007]]<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref> - [[The MovingFoward videos|28 August 2010]]) was [[Chris]]'s original "life upgrade". Chris desperately wanted to win one in a [[Pixelated PS3|contest]], to this end  he built one out of [[Pixelblocks]] and declared that he would "throw out the cure for [[autism]]" for one.<ref>[[Pixelated PS3]]</ref> Chris eventually went ahead and bought one with his [[monthly tugboat]]. In [[August 2010]], following [[#Molestations and other PS3 damage|repeated PS3 abuse]], he [[#Destruction|destroyed]] his life upgrade only to purchase another shortly after.
The PS3 was supplanted by the [[PlayStation 4]] in 2013, and discontinued in [[2016]].


==PlayStation Network==
==PlayStation Network==
{{main|PlayStation Network}}


[[Image:Etc playstation.PNG|thumb|Confirmation e-mails, a testament to Chris's financial responsibility.]]
The PlayStation Network is the [[PS3]]'s main online service, allowing users to buy games, movies, TV shows, and other stuff, while also featuring elements like social media features, and music and movie streaming. Upon discovering the PSN on his PS3, Chris went into [[Chris and money|overdrive]], spending boatloads of money on things like DLC for games he didn't even own, and plenty of harem anime. From [[2007]] to [[2010]], Chris spent at least '''$6,127.64''' in American [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer dollars]], spending so much on the PSN that it contributed to most of his credit card debt at the time (roughly $3,500 circa early 2010).
 
Being as irresponsible with [[Chris and money|money]] as he is, Chris went into overdrive with this feature of the PS3's [[online]] capabilities. Chris has spent so much on the PSN, it has contributed most of his credit card debt (roughly $3,500 as of early 2010).
 
You might ask yourself how he could spend that much and what he could spend it on. Chris seemingly buys everything possible, from game content to movies to several episodes of terrible harem [[anime]]. A list of Chris's PSN purchases reveals that he frequently buys DLC for games he doesn't even own.
 
Chris has spent at least '''$6,127.64 ''' in American [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer dollars]].
 
=== Spending history ===
The following table chronicles Chris's deposits into his PlayStation Network "wallet" between April 2007 and February 2010, the period for which detailed records of his transactions are available (thanks to the work of expert hackers).
 
Some interesting patterns can be spotted in his spending habits. He was relatively thrifty for most of 2007 and into early 2008, when he still had a few other outlets for entertaining himself outside his home. There's a sharp spike around the time of his first ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]], though (and he might also have been binging to get over his "breakup" with Megan Schroeder, which happened that same spring). Likewise, it's probably not a coincidence that after Chris was permanently booted from The PLACe in the summer of 2008, he began spending a good deal more money on the PSN.
 
In light of the second wave of the [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010|Vivian Gee e-mails]], Chris's spending in early 2010 is impressive. Despite being supposedly put on a strict budget by his father at the time (in order to pay down debts created by his earlier PSN spending), he still managed to spend around $100 or more a month.
 
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
! '''Month
! '''Amount
|-
| February 2010
| '''$130.00
| July 2009
| '''$80.00
| December 2008
| '''$150.00
| May 2008
| '''$90.00
| October 2007
| '''$55.00
|-
| January 2010
| '''$90.00
| June 2009
| '''$170.00
| November 2008
| '''$110.00
| April 2008
| '''$16.02
| September 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| December 2009
| '''$234.29
| May 2009
| '''$135.00
| October 2008
| '''$90.07
| March 2008
| '''$20.00
| August 2007
| '''$65.00
|-
| November 2009
| '''$215.00
| April 2009
| '''$225.00
| September 2008
| '''$90.00
| February 2008
| '''$20.00
| July 2007
| '''$25.00
|-
| October 2009
| '''$268.41
| March 2009
| '''$210.00
| August 2008
| '''$85.00
| January 2008
| '''$75.00
| June 2007
| '''$10.00
|-
| September 2009
| '''$132.36
| February 2009
| '''$125.00
| July 2008
| '''$120.00
| December 2007
| '''$25.00
| May 2007
| '''$35.00
|-
| August 2009
| '''$50.00
| January 2009
| '''$90.00
| June 2008
| '''$30.00
| November 2007
| '''$30.00
| April 2007
| '''$25.00
|}
[[File:Cwc spending.png|150px|thumb|right|A graph of his spending between April 07 and Feb 08]]
 
=== Trophies ===
According to the [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu PSN profile for Sonichu], as of 31 [[March 2014]], Chris has 3,587 trophies. ''Note: Availability of Sonichu's trophy information is dependent on the proper functioning of the PlayStation Network. Information is not updated in real time.''
 
Games with over 50% progress include:
 
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Game
!align="left"|Trophies
!align="left"|Progress
!align="left"|Comments
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Fighters|Sonic the Fighters]]''
|12
|100%
| A fairly short game fighting game that generally be beaten in under 12 minutes.
|-
| ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''
| 70
| 100%
| And he still can't coordinate his jumps, or design a good level.
|-
| ''[[ModNation Racers]]''
|[[Chris and Sex|69]]
|100%
|A driving game that Chris is terrible at. The levels that he has made so far are simply bad, and he racks up a fairly consistent .200 winning average.
|-
| ''[[LittleBigPlanet|LittleBigPlanet 2]]''
|65
|100%
|The game that made his [[Autism Tutorial]] possible.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Back to the Future: The Game|Back to the Future: The Game]]''
|60
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:InFamous|inFamous]]''
| 50
| 100%
| A man dressed in yellow that shoots electricity? [[Sonichu (character)|Hmmmmm...]]
|-
| ''Sonic Generations''
| 50
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[Kacey Call 8|Hannah Montana: The Movie]]''
|43
|100%
|[[Homos|No comment]].
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Skylanders:_Spyro's_Adventure|Skylanders Spyro's Adventure]]''
|38
|100%
|
|-
| ''Blue Toad Murder Files: The Mysteries of Little Riddle''
|37
|100%
|
|-
| ''[[God of War]] III''
|36
|100%
| All that blood and gore couldn't stop Chris from grabbing all the trophies and deity boobies.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sly Cooper#The Sly Collection|Sly 1]]''
|36
|100%
| Furries galore.
|-
| ''Sly 2''
|36
|100%
|
|-
| ''Sly 3''
|36
|100%
|
|-
| ''God of War II''
|35
|100%
| From the ''God of War Collection''.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection|Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection]]''
| 35
| 100%
| Another case of redundancy for most of the included games, especially the ''Sonic'' ones.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Cuboid (video game)|Cuboid]]''
| 24
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Stacking (video game)|Stacking]]''
| 21
| 100%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Costume Quest|Costume Quest]]''
| 17
| 100%
| Made by the same people who made [[wikipedia:Brütal Legend|Brütal Legend]].
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Linger In Shadows|Linger In Shadows]]''
| 16
| 100%
| A demoscene production. Not remarkable. Most people already had 1,000 gamerscore in ''[[wikipedia:Second Reality|Second Reality]]''. In 1993.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]''
| 15
| 100%
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 4: Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective''
| 15
| 100%
|
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 3: Baddest of the Bands''
| 15
| 100%
|
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 2: Strong Badia the Free''
| 15
| 100%
|
|-
| ''Sackboy's Prehistoric Moves''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People|SBCG4AP Episode 5: 8-Bit Is Enough]]''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''SBCG4AP Episode 1: Homestar Ruiner''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Flower_(video_game)|Flower]]''
| 14
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sam_%26_Max:_The_Devil%27s_Playhouse|Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse]] - Episode 1: The Penal Zone''
| 13
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Wheel_of_Fortune_(video_game)|Wheel of Fortune]]''
| 13
| 100%
| Truly, the apex of hi-def gaming.
|-
| ''Back to the Future - Episode 1: It's About Time''
| 12
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Gunstar_Heroes|Gunstar Heroes]]''
| 12
| 100%
| Chris may have gotten 100% in ''Gunstar Heroes'', but IRL he's a total zero.
|-
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 2: The Tomb of Sammun Mak''
| 12
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I|Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I]]''
| 12
| 100%
| Not unexpected.
|-
| ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]] 2''
| 12
| 100%
| [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|"...Christian's father says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game and then...''move onto another!''"]]
|-
| ''Sonic the Hedgehog''
| 12
| 100%
| Of course.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Buzz!|Buzz!]] Junior: Monsters''
| 11
| 100%
| "Junior" says it all.
|-
| ''Buzz! Junior: RoboJam''
| 11
| 100%
|
| -
|''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 4: Beyond the Alley of the Dolls''
| 11
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:.detuned|.detuned]]''
| 10
| 100%
| Another demoscene production. Again, we'd allege that Chris wouldn't get too far in Farbrausch's more famous interactive entertainment prod ''.kkrieger'' - not to even mention the largely .famous ''.the .product'', dammit!
|-
| ''Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse - Episode 3: They Stole Max's Brain!''
| 10
| 100%
|
|-
| [[PS Vita|''Welcome Park'']]
| 13
| 100%
| A Vita tutorial.
|-
| ''Sly Minigames''
| 8
| 100%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Mainichi Issho|Mainichi Issho]]''
| 7
| 100%
| A Japan-only release. Apparently, just like ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', only more boring and even bigger of a grindfest.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Frogger_Returns|Frogger Returns]]''
| 4
| 100%
| ''100!!!''...oh, it's 4 trophies for 4 levels.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Burnout_Paradise|Burnout Paradise]]''
| 93
| 91%
| It has cars. They can be driven. Granted, it's an acclaimed title, but Chris thinks this game is up there among greatest games ever made, with the likes of ''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time''.<ref>''[[Brutal Legend Plus]]''</ref>
|-
| ''Sonic CD''
| 11
| 90%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Braid_(video_game)|Braid]]''
| 11
| 89%
| A game about a man who alters [[Time Void|time]] to rescue his [[sweetheart]]. Note that the end of the game reveals the main character to be [[Christian Weston Chandler|a stalker]]. It is, however, worth noting that ''Braid'' is a puzzle game, and not a simple one to play either, yet he still fully completed the game. This is perhaps the most definite proof that Chris isn't mentally retarded (or, at least, he knows how to use GameFAQs).
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Tetris|Tetris]]''
|9
|85%
|
|-
| ''God of War''
| 33
| 82%
| Most of the trophies are simply earned by progressing through the game normally. The trophies he lacks are the ones that require you to complete actual challenges or completing the game in under five hours.
|-
| ''God of War: Chains of Olympus''
| 32
| 80%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Heavy_rain|Heavy Rain]]''
| 53
| 80%
|-
| ''[[Wikipedia:Table Top Tanks|Table Top Tanks]]
| 5
| 80%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Band Hero|Band Hero]]''
| 35
| 77%
| A pop music version of ''Guitar Hero''.
|-
| ''The Price is Right''
| 11
| 76%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic_unleashed|Sonic Unleashed]]''
| 37
| 75%
| Due to the trophy data not visible to the public and people reporting hearsay as fact, a lot of people were under assumption that Chris had 100% of the trophies in ''Sonic 2006'' (which doesn't even have trophies). Now, we're equally perplexed by the fact that Chris has ''only'' 75% of trophies in a bona-fide 3D ''Sonic'' title.
|-
| ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]''
| 46
| 74%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Splatterhouse_(2010_video_game)|Splatterhouse]]''
| 43
| 72%
|
|-
| ''God of War: Ghost of Sparta''
| 31
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Penny_Arcade_Adventures|Penny Arcade Adventures]]: OtRSPoD, Episode One''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''Penny Arcade Adventures: OtRSPoD, Episode Two''
| 11
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Numblast|NUMBLAST]]''
| 10
| 71%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Noby_Noby_Boy|Noby Noby Boy]]''
| 9
| 71%
|
|-
|''[[wikipedia:Space Ace|Space Ace]]''
| 7
| 71%
|
|-
|''[[LEGO]] Batman 2: DC Super Heroes''
| 27
| 71%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing|Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing]]''
| 36
| 62%
| ''Sonic Kart'' couldn't hold his interest long enough for a platinum trophy. No Sonichu? Back to ''ModNation''.
|-
| ''Buzz!: Quiz TV''
| 16
| 61%
| The first of the ''Buzz!'' games to appear on PS3. See also Chris's [[Quizzes]] for his MyBUZZ! stuff.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:UDraw_GameTablet#uDraw_Studio_Instant_Artist|uDraw Studio]] - Instant Artist''
| 28
| 61%
|
|-
| ''[[Wikipedia:Uncharted: Golden Abyss|Uncharted: Golden Abyss]]''
| 38
| 60%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Spelunker HD|Spelunker HD]]''
| 31
| 58%
|
|-
| ''[[Emily_Date_Conversation_Transcript#Meet_the_Pickle_.2801:21:44_-_01:25:29.29|Watchmen: The End is Nigh]]''
| 8
| 57%
| "Meeting with Chris-chan left [[Semen|bad taste]] in mouth. He is [[Tugboat|pampered]] and [[Tomgirl|decadent]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|betraying]] even his shallow, liberal affections. Possibly [[homos]]exual? Must remember to [[Kick the Autistic|investigate further]]."
|-
| ''[[Transformers|Transformers: War for Cybertron]]''
| 34
| 55%
|
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Pure Chess|Pure Chess]]''
| 10
| 52%
| 10 of 13 trophies? Oh wait, only three trophies require any real skill.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uno_(video_game)|Uno]]''
| 10
| 52%
| Chris probably bought it in hopes that it was like the [[HEXBox|Xbox Live Arcade]] version. Forgotten about when he realized that was not the case.
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Uncharted: Drake's Fortune|Uncharted: Drake's Fortune]]''
| 26
| 50%
|-
| ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II|Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II]]''
| 8
| 50%
|
|}
 
Comparing to the [[List of Chris's games|list of games he owns]], there was a bunch of them that he hadn't even booted up a single time. There are some games he had touched maybe once and then left to the wayside; for example, all of his ''BioShock'' trophies are from the beginning of the game, and he received all of them on October 23, 2008, over a couple of hours. (The logical conclusion is that the second level of ''BioShock'' will ''blow your mind.'') In public, he also prominently featured games he never really played; the [[PS3 History Level]] shows many games that he touched only a few times (''Mirror's Edge'' and ''BioShock'', for example, currently sit at 11% and 9% respectively), and in [[PS3 Tutorial for my fans|the PS3 tutorial]], Chris says he thinks ''PAIN'' is a "fun" game, yet he let it sit at 0%.
 
=== Hacking ===
As a result of his online notoriety, his poor choice of passwords, and his innate gullibility, Chris’s PlayStation Network account was hacked or otherwise wrested from his control on multiple occasions. [[BlueSpike]], in his guise as Chris’s sweetheart [[Julie]], was able to convince Chris to break the first fundamental rule of cybersecurity and "share" his password in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|February 2009]], which was later used as a wedge to control and torment Chris. That summer, [[Jack Thaddeus]] seized the account, resulting in the infamous [[Chris humps his PS3|eight minutes of console sex]] and detailed revelations concerning Chris’s insane online spending habits.
 
Chris managed to keep control of his accounts for a surprisingly long time after his run-in with Thaddeus, but his luck ran out on 24 [[February 2010]], thanks to [[Surfshack Tito|a certain Hawaiʻian]].


==Fanboyism==
==Fanboyism==
Line 516: Line 19:
{{quote|And yet, at the beginning, during the "Console War", I feel that I have chosen Truly Wise. Sony has truly helped this soul better his life, and many others as well. And with every new update, the PS3 and PSP grow more and more better alongside me. Playstaion isn't just a Station to Play, it's the station to Play and Truly Enrich Yourself. Higher Definition equals Better Points of View. Talking over the Internet from a sancturious comfort is truly an enriching luxury. Now I have put behind me my regrets of Life without Playstation. And with Priceless Experiences, an honest sense of satisfaction. And a more mature winning attitude. Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call...My Digital HOME. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever|Chris, fellating the faceless angel of overpriced electronics in [[PS3 History Level]] speech bubbles.}}
{{quote|And yet, at the beginning, during the "Console War", I feel that I have chosen Truly Wise. Sony has truly helped this soul better his life, and many others as well. And with every new update, the PS3 and PSP grow more and more better alongside me. Playstaion isn't just a Station to Play, it's the station to Play and Truly Enrich Yourself. Higher Definition equals Better Points of View. Talking over the Internet from a sancturious comfort is truly an enriching luxury. Now I have put behind me my regrets of Life without Playstation. And with Priceless Experiences, an honest sense of satisfaction. And a more mature winning attitude. Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call...My Digital HOME. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever|Chris, fellating the faceless angel of overpriced electronics in [[PS3 History Level]] speech bubbles.}}


Chris pops giant boners for PS3. He makes trolls on /v/ look like mild enthusiasts with his hatred of the [[HEXBox]].
Chris popped giant boners for PS3, so much that the [[Spanish|Hispanic]] [[Chris_and_race#Hispanics|community]] would call him a "Sonyer". He made trolls on /v/ look like mild enthusiasts with his hatred of the [[HEXBox]].


==Molestations and other PS3 damage==
==Molestations and other PS3 damage==
Line 523: Line 26:
On 24 [[July 2009]], a video of [[Chris humps his PS3|Chris humping his PS3]] was leaked. It is generally believed that physically molesting electronics may often shorten their lifespan; hard drives and optical drives are particularly prone to breaking under such physical [[stress]].
On 24 [[July 2009]], a video of [[Chris humps his PS3|Chris humping his PS3]] was leaked. It is generally believed that physically molesting electronics may often shorten their lifespan; hard drives and optical drives are particularly prone to breaking under such physical [[stress]].


On 5 [[May 2010]], Chris [[I Pimp My Ride|posted a video]] in which he bragged about removing a "bug" from his PS3, thanks to a [[white knight]] who tipped him off. While Chris did apparently understand that the component was actually the system's wireless networking antenna, he removed it anyway. It seems to have had no effect on his ability to connect his PS3 to the Internet, indicating that he either uses a wired Ethernet connection or he realized how fucked he was and put it back in place. In any case, he voided his console's warranty...just as planned.
On 5 [[May 2010]], Chris [[I Pimp My Ride|posted a video]] in which he bragged about removing a "bug" from his PS3, thanks to [[PandaHalo]] who tipped him off. While Chris did apparently understand that the component was actually the system's wireless networking antenna, he removed it anyway. It seems to have had no effect on his ability to connect his PS3 to the Internet, indicating that he either uses a wired Ethernet connection or he realized how fucked he was and put it back in place. In any case, he voided his console's warranty...just as planned.


On 27 [[August 2010]], Chris [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|posted a solemn video]] where he explains how he inadvertently formatted his own PS3, erasing over three years of his life. Through repeated abuse (see above), Chris's PS3 was misbehaving, prompting him to contact [[Sony]] tech support. They apparently guided him through an attempt to fix corrupted files on the PS3's hard drive, but he did not succeed and Chris was given a choice to reformat his drive, which he accepted.
On 27 [[August 2010]], Chris [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|posted a solemn video]] where he explains how he inadvertently formatted his own PS3, erasing over three years of his life. Through repeated abuse (see above), Chris's PS3 was misbehaving, prompting him to contact [[Sony]] tech support. They apparently guided him through an attempt to fix corrupted files on the PS3's hard drive, but he did not succeed and Chris was given a choice to reformat his drive, which he accepted.


In the video, Chris blamed a "misunderstanding" between him and the support representative as the reason why he ended up formatting his drive. His PSN account activity seemed to confirm he had indeed deleted everything.
In the video, Chris blamed a "misunderstanding" between him and the support representative as the reason why he ended up formatting his drive; perhaps he didn't realize or know what formatting was. His PSN account activity seemed to confirm he had indeed deleted everything.


==Destruction==
==Destruction==
[[File:Cameragroup004.jpg|thumb|Trivia: Chris still keeps VHS tapes in the clutter of his [[room]].]]
[[File:Cameragroup004.jpg|thumb|Trivia: Chris still keeps VHS tapes in the clutter of his [[room]].]]
On 29 [[August 2010]], trolls obtained the [[The MovingFoward videos|MovingForward videos]], where Chris finally put the nail in his life upgrade's coffin by beating it up with an edging stone and then running it over with [[Son-Chu]]. In the third video, Chris claimed to have tested his PS3 and confirmed it no longer started up but still "went into standby mode." He then used some scissors to repeatedly stab the console's remains. Trolls also obtained [[The_MovingFoward_videos#Destruction_Gallery|photographs of the console]] in various states of destruction.
{{Main|The MovingFoward videos}}
 
On 29 [[August 2010]], trolls obtained the [[The MovingFoward videos|MovingForward videos]], where Chris finally put the nail in his life upgrades coffin by beating it up with an edging stone and then running it over with [[Son-Chu]]. In the third video, Chris claimed to have tested his PS3 and confirmed it no longer started up but still "went into standby mode." He then used some scissors to repeatedly stab the console's remains. Trolls also obtained [[The_MovingFoward_videos#Destruction_Gallery|photographs of the console]] in various states of destruction.


The next day, [[ItIsFinished.MOV|another video]] appeared wherein Chris took the crushed, stabbed, and disassembled parts of his PS3, laid them out in his driveway, and ran them over with his car again for good measure.
The next day, [[ItIsFinished.MOV|another video]] appeared wherein Chris took the crushed, stabbed, and disassembled parts of his PS3, laid them out in his driveway, and ran them over with his car again for good measure.
Line 537: Line 42:
Leaked [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] later revealed that Chris's motivations were twofold. Chris destroyed his beloved life upgrade in an attempt to cash in on a [[Trollin Train|troll-proffered]] reward of $9,001, as well as in hopes of satisfying his sweetheart of the moment, [[Jackie]]. However, to the surprise of none, he didn't think through this idea very clearly. He destroyed nearly $5,000 in his greed, never received the reward that he'd hoped for, and never got to first base with Jackie, either.
Leaked [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] later revealed that Chris's motivations were twofold. Chris destroyed his beloved life upgrade in an attempt to cash in on a [[Trollin Train|troll-proffered]] reward of $9,001, as well as in hopes of satisfying his sweetheart of the moment, [[Jackie]]. However, to the surprise of none, he didn't think through this idea very clearly. He destroyed nearly $5,000 in his greed, never received the reward that he'd hoped for, and never got to first base with Jackie, either.


== The rebirth ==
==The rebirth==
[[File:PStriple.png|thumb|And on the seventh day, it rose again.]]
[[File:PStriple.png|thumb|And on the seventh day, it rose again.]]
By 6 [[September 2010]], only ''days'' after killing his life upgrade, it was resurrected, [[monthly tugboat|with your help]]. Chris had claimed in his exchanges with Tito and Clyde that he would never buy another PS3, probably an attempt to convince the two. Chris told [[Jackie]] that he experienced something similar to drug withdrawal after a few days without his beloved PSTriple: "Post-Destruction, two days later, I started feeling impulsive and tense from its absence."<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]</ref>


Interestingly, Chris's new PS3 still uses the original case design, even though the larger PS3s had been discontinued in favor of the newer "slim" model in late 2009. This suggests that the replacement is a second-hand or refurbished model, and may have been chosen so that he could put the custom cover he made for his old PS3 onto it.
By 6 [[September 2010]], only ''days'' after killing his life upgrade, it was resurrected, [[monthly tugboat|with your help]]. Chris had claimed in his exchanges with Tito and Clyde that he would never buy another PS3, probably an attempt to convince the two. Chris told [[Jackie]] that he experienced something similar to drug withdrawal after a few days without his beloved PSTriple: "Post-Destruction, two days later, I started feeling impulsive and tense from its absence."<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]</ref>


== The PS Move of Fail ==
Interestingly, Chris's new PS3 still had the original case design, even though the larger PS3s had been discontinued in favor of the newer "slim" model in late 2009. This suggests that the replacement was a second-hand or refurbished model, and may have been chosen so that he could put the custom cover he made for his old PS3 onto it.
 
==The PS Move of Fail==
[[Image:ChrisWithPSMove.png|thumb|Chris's PS Move in all its fail.]][[Image:PSN TOMGIRL1-1.jpg|thumb|Tomgirl socializing online.]]
[[Image:ChrisWithPSMove.png|thumb|Chris's PS Move in all its fail.]][[Image:PSN TOMGIRL1-1.jpg|thumb|Tomgirl socializing online.]]
It seems that when Chris purchased his new PS3, he also purchased a [[Wikipedia:Playstation Move|PS Move]]. The PS Move is a derivative by [[Sony]] of [[Nintendo|Nintendo's]] [[Wii Remote of Fail|Wii Remote]]. Chris, being the lover of all things [[Things Chris has ripped off|TRUE and ORIGINAL]] we've come to know, just had to have one.


Chris seems to have painted the two controllers of his PS Move in typical [[Sonichu]] coloration; the motion controller was painted yellow, while the navigation controller was apparently painted light blue.
It seems that when Chris purchased his new PS3, he also purchased a [[Wikipedia:Playstation Move|PlayStation Move]]. The PS Move is a derivative by [[Sony]] of [[Nintendo]]'s [[Wii Remote of Fail|Wii Remote]]. Chris, being the lover of all things [[Things Chris has ripped off|TRUE and ORIGINAL]] we've come to know, just had to have one. After buying it, he painted the two controllers of his PS Move in typical [[Sonichu]] coloration; the motion controller was painted yellow, while the navigation controller was apparently painted light blue.


The PS Move has made two video appearances so far, in the [[ECV_00001|Cherokee video]] and the [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|wizard video]].
The PS Move has made two video appearances so far, in the [[ECV_00001|Cherokee video]] and the [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|wizard video]].
Line 553: Line 58:
Chris later blew forty dollars on the PlayStation Move SharpShooter<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/12/09/new-playstation-move-sharp-shooter-attachment/]</ref>, as seen in the infamous [[Tomgirl pictures]].
Chris later blew forty dollars on the PlayStation Move SharpShooter<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/12/09/new-playstation-move-sharp-shooter-attachment/]</ref>, as seen in the infamous [[Tomgirl pictures]].


== PlayStation Plus ==
==PlayStation Plus==
Sony started a [[Hex Bawx|subscription-based program]] that offers members discounts, free content (until membership expires), and exclusives. Chris, already owning everything there is on PSN, unsurprisingly decided to plunge another $50 into debt for a Plus membership. For $50 per year, Chris can now play free rentals of Sonic the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog 2, games that he has bought many times over.
On 29 [[June 2010]], Sony started PlayStation Plus, a [[Hex Bawx|subscription-based program]] that offers members discounts, free content (until membership expires), and exclusives. Chris, already owning everything there is on PSN, unsurprisingly decided to plunge another $50 into debt for a Plus membership. For $50 per year, Chris can now play "free" rentals of ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' and ''Sonic the Hedgehog 2'', games that he has already bought many times over.


==Other oddities==
==Other oddities==
Chris appears to keep his PS3 on most of the time. In many of the videos, he's left the console idling on the main menu or in-game menus. In Skype logs, [[Julie]] complained to Chris that he is logged on PSN when he's not actually around, which was fairly confusing.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 8|BlueSpike Skype Logs #8]]</ref>
Chris often had his PS3 turned on most of the time. In many of the videos, he's left the console idling on the main menu or in-game menus. In Skype logs, [[Julie]] complained to Chris that he is logged on PSN when he's not actually around, which was fairly confusing.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 8|BlueSpike Skype Logs #8]]</ref>


Chris appears to have put at least some of the games he has bought in blue Blu-Ray cases instead of keeping them in original retail cases.<ref>Seen, for example, in ''[[Brutal Legend]]''.</ref> He even does so in the ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' advertisement. This peculiar practice is explained in Chris's [[PS3 History Level]]: Chris buys Blu-Ray game cases from eBay and switches them over because "It's THINNER than the Clear Original PS3 Disc Cases; MORE SHELF SPACE for MORE GAMES."
Chris appears to have put at least some of the games he has bought in blue Blu-ray cases instead of keeping them in original retail cases.<ref>Seen, for example, in ''[[Brutal Legend]]''.</ref> He even does so in the ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' advertisement. This peculiar practice is explained in Chris's [[PS3 History Level]]: Chris buys Blu-ray game cases from eBay and switches them over because "It's THINNER than the Clear Original PS3 Disc Cases; MORE SHELF SPACE for MORE GAMES."
 
He held his PS3 controller in many of his videos to turn his PSEye on and off, such as in [[I Got A Fish]].
 
When Chris's house [[2014 house fire|burned down]] in [[2014]], it appeared that his PS3 may have survived, as he was observed being online on the PlayStation Network, and managed to salvage his PSEye for a [[I Love You, Catherine|handful of]] [[To Mr. Smith|videos]]. Despite purchasing a PS4 later on, he would continue to play games on his PS3 every now and then. It is unknown if said PS3 is still at [[14 Branchland Court]], sold off, or in Chris's possession following his [[Jail Saga|arrest]] for [[Affair With Mother|incest]], and his PSN profile confusingly states he played ''Hatsune Miku: Project DIVA- f'' in [[2023]].


==See also==
==See also==
* [[PlayStation 4]] - The life upgrade... upgraded.
* [[Chris-chan Discusses...]] - A video interview with Chris conducted over the PS3's video chat service.
* [[Chris-chan Discusses...]] - A video interview with Chris conducted over the PS3's video chat service.
* [[List of Chris's games]] - Detailing his entire game collection.
* [[List of Chris's games]] - Detailing his entire game collection.
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<references/>
<references/>


==External links==
==External Links ==  
* <s>[http://us.playstation.com/publictrophy/index.htm?onlinename=Sonichu Chris' PSN, filled with useless trophies.]</s> Dead link as of May 2015
* [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu Publicly viewable detailed profile]
* [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu Publicly viewable detailed profile]
* <s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3WQ3QiJMWU Boyfriend-Free PS3]</s> Dead link as of May 2015
{{PS3Saga}}
 
{{Template:Relics of Fail}}
{{Lists}}
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]
[[Category:PS3]]

Latest revision as of 18:06, 3 May 2024

Tugboat.jpg YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK!
The contents of this page have been bought with taxpayer money!
Social Security Administration seal.png


A life upgrade.

The Sony PlayStation 3, or PS Triple in troll parlance (purchased 17 March 2007[1] - 28 August 2010), is a video game console released in 2006 as the third generation in Sony's PlayStation line of consoles. It introduced features such as the ability to play Blu-ray discs, further social and online features, and the PlayStation Network. However, the console had a rocky start due to a high price tag ($599 for a 60GB model, and $499 for a 20GB model, equivalent to $896.82 and $747.10 respectively considering inflation as of 2023), among other problems; still, during its 11-year lifespan, it sold 87.4 million units, which while nothing compared to the PlayStation 2's numbers (where it is still the highest-selling console of all time) is still quite respectable.

The PS3 is notable for being Chris's original "life upgrade". He desperately wanted to win one in a contest, to the point where he built one out of Pixelblocks and a slim PS2, and declared that he would "throw out the cure for autism" for one.[2] Chris eventually went ahead and bought one with his monthly tugboat. In August 2010, following repeated PS3 abuse, he destroyed his life upgrade...only to purchase another shortly after.

The PS3 was supplanted by the PlayStation 4 in 2013, and discontinued in 2016.

PlayStation Network

Main article: PlayStation Network

The PlayStation Network is the PS3's main online service, allowing users to buy games, movies, TV shows, and other stuff, while also featuring elements like social media features, and music and movie streaming. Upon discovering the PSN on his PS3, Chris went into overdrive, spending boatloads of money on things like DLC for games he didn't even own, and plenty of harem anime. From 2007 to 2010, Chris spent at least $6,127.64 in American taxpayer dollars, spending so much on the PSN that it contributed to most of his credit card debt at the time (roughly $3,500 circa early 2010).

Fanboyism

So...good reason to get a PlayStation 3 system… of at least 60 GB or higher! 'Cause, uh, y'know, they have four USB ports, the memory card slots, and able to access the Internet wirelessly. While 40 GB and lower: two USB ports, no memory card slots, and requires an Ethernet cable to connect to the Internet. And...LittleBigPlanet! And as you all know from my sponsorship video, ev— most of the videos I put up on YouTube were spon— were sponsored by Sony, and their PlayStation Eye, and their PlayStation 3.
Chris failing to tell us what the "good reason" is.
And yet, at the beginning, during the "Console War", I feel that I have chosen Truly Wise. Sony has truly helped this soul better his life, and many others as well. And with every new update, the PS3 and PSP grow more and more better alongside me. Playstaion isn't just a Station to Play, it's the station to Play and Truly Enrich Yourself. Higher Definition equals Better Points of View. Talking over the Internet from a sancturious comfort is truly an enriching luxury. Now I have put behind me my regrets of Life without Playstation. And with Priceless Experiences, an honest sense of satisfaction. And a more mature winning attitude. Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call...My Digital HOME. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever
Chris, fellating the faceless angel of overpriced electronics in PS3 History Level speech bubbles.

Chris popped giant boners for PS3, so much that the Hispanic community would call him a "Sonyer". He made trolls on /v/ look like mild enthusiasts with his hatred of the HEXBox.

Molestations and other PS3 damage

Son-Chu camped outside a Playstation Cave

On 24 July 2009, a video of Chris humping his PS3 was leaked. It is generally believed that physically molesting electronics may often shorten their lifespan; hard drives and optical drives are particularly prone to breaking under such physical stress.

On 5 May 2010, Chris posted a video in which he bragged about removing a "bug" from his PS3, thanks to PandaHalo who tipped him off. While Chris did apparently understand that the component was actually the system's wireless networking antenna, he removed it anyway. It seems to have had no effect on his ability to connect his PS3 to the Internet, indicating that he either uses a wired Ethernet connection or he realized how fucked he was and put it back in place. In any case, he voided his console's warranty...just as planned.

On 27 August 2010, Chris posted a solemn video where he explains how he inadvertently formatted his own PS3, erasing over three years of his life. Through repeated abuse (see above), Chris's PS3 was misbehaving, prompting him to contact Sony tech support. They apparently guided him through an attempt to fix corrupted files on the PS3's hard drive, but he did not succeed and Chris was given a choice to reformat his drive, which he accepted.

In the video, Chris blamed a "misunderstanding" between him and the support representative as the reason why he ended up formatting his drive; perhaps he didn't realize or know what formatting was. His PSN account activity seemed to confirm he had indeed deleted everything.

Destruction

Trivia: Chris still keeps VHS tapes in the clutter of his room.
Main article: The MovingFoward videos

On 29 August 2010, trolls obtained the MovingForward videos, where Chris finally put the nail in his life upgrades coffin by beating it up with an edging stone and then running it over with Son-Chu. In the third video, Chris claimed to have tested his PS3 and confirmed it no longer started up but still "went into standby mode." He then used some scissors to repeatedly stab the console's remains. Trolls also obtained photographs of the console in various states of destruction.

The next day, another video appeared wherein Chris took the crushed, stabbed, and disassembled parts of his PS3, laid them out in his driveway, and ran them over with his car again for good measure.

Leaked e-mails later revealed that Chris's motivations were twofold. Chris destroyed his beloved life upgrade in an attempt to cash in on a troll-proffered reward of $9,001, as well as in hopes of satisfying his sweetheart of the moment, Jackie. However, to the surprise of none, he didn't think through this idea very clearly. He destroyed nearly $5,000 in his greed, never received the reward that he'd hoped for, and never got to first base with Jackie, either.

The rebirth

And on the seventh day, it rose again.

By 6 September 2010, only days after killing his life upgrade, it was resurrected, with your help. Chris had claimed in his exchanges with Tito and Clyde that he would never buy another PS3, probably an attempt to convince the two. Chris told Jackie that he experienced something similar to drug withdrawal after a few days without his beloved PSTriple: "Post-Destruction, two days later, I started feeling impulsive and tense from its absence."[3]

Interestingly, Chris's new PS3 still had the original case design, even though the larger PS3s had been discontinued in favor of the newer "slim" model in late 2009. This suggests that the replacement was a second-hand or refurbished model, and may have been chosen so that he could put the custom cover he made for his old PS3 onto it.

The PS Move of Fail

Chris's PS Move in all its fail.
Tomgirl socializing online.

It seems that when Chris purchased his new PS3, he also purchased a PlayStation Move. The PS Move is a derivative by Sony of Nintendo's Wii Remote. Chris, being the lover of all things TRUE and ORIGINAL we've come to know, just had to have one. After buying it, he painted the two controllers of his PS Move in typical Sonichu coloration; the motion controller was painted yellow, while the navigation controller was apparently painted light blue.

The PS Move has made two video appearances so far, in the Cherokee video and the wizard video.

Chris later blew forty dollars on the PlayStation Move SharpShooter[4], as seen in the infamous Tomgirl pictures.

PlayStation Plus

On 29 June 2010, Sony started PlayStation Plus, a subscription-based program that offers members discounts, free content (until membership expires), and exclusives. Chris, already owning everything there is on PSN, unsurprisingly decided to plunge another $50 into debt for a Plus membership. For $50 per year, Chris can now play "free" rentals of Sonic the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog 2, games that he has already bought many times over.

Other oddities

Chris often had his PS3 turned on most of the time. In many of the videos, he's left the console idling on the main menu or in-game menus. In Skype logs, Julie complained to Chris that he is logged on PSN when he's not actually around, which was fairly confusing.[5]

Chris appears to have put at least some of the games he has bought in blue Blu-ray cases instead of keeping them in original retail cases.[6] He even does so in the Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles advertisement. This peculiar practice is explained in Chris's PS3 History Level: Chris buys Blu-ray game cases from eBay and switches them over because "It's THINNER than the Clear Original PS3 Disc Cases; MORE SHELF SPACE for MORE GAMES."

He held his PS3 controller in many of his videos to turn his PSEye on and off, such as in I Got A Fish.

When Chris's house burned down in 2014, it appeared that his PS3 may have survived, as he was observed being online on the PlayStation Network, and managed to salvage his PSEye for a handful of videos. Despite purchasing a PS4 later on, he would continue to play games on his PS3 every now and then. It is unknown if said PS3 is still at 14 Branchland Court, sold off, or in Chris's possession following his arrest for incest, and his PSN profile confusingly states he played Hatsune Miku: Project DIVA- f in 2023.

See also

References

External Links

PS3Test.png PS3 Hacking Saga PS3Test.png
The Players

People: Chris (JenkinsJinkiesBill Riley) • Clyde CashJack ThaddeusSurfshack TitoBlueSpikeSamantha ThaddeusKatie BayLiquid ChrisPandaHalo


E-mails and Chats:
Jack Thaddeus (123) • SamanthaKatie Bay (123456) • Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails
The Games: The Prizes:
Coinciding Sagas: Clyde Cash, Julie, Tito, First Exile, Jackie,