Red String of Fate

“	I’ve had my worst trip to the Mall. I was working with my Heart on a Red String of Fate, when from out the blue,a JERK COP shatter my Heart and ripped up the Red String!	”
CWC's Diary

The Artifact of Fail itself.

Would you like to make a wish?

The red string, as shown in Excel Saga. Notice the Chris look-a-like next to the man with the string, and the lack of any references to "fishing".

The Red String of Fate was a plot Chris came up with in 2004 to attract a boyfriend-free girl. He probably got it from Excel Saga or some other anime, as the red string is allegedly an important metaphor in Asian courting rituals, similar to the concept of having a soulmate (emphasis on metaphor). Chris's subtle expression of courtship failed to be appreciated as he took too many artistic liberties with the concept.

According to Lucas and Mimms, Chris would attach a paper heart to a red string and throw it at women, then pull the string like he was "reeling" them in. The small red heart had text around the outside reading "PICK ME UP AND BRING ME TO MY OWNER", an ingenious strategy to reel in da ladies.

In his diary entry for 1 August 2004 he writes, I have a NEW idea "that I am sure will REEL in a girlfriend on a FATEFUL RED STRING." Four days later, a mall security guard took Chris's red string off him. Chris never picked the idea back up.

There is a certain irony, given how much Chris whines about them, that this method of fishing is known as trolling.