Difference between revisions of "Dating education"

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[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|right|thumb|250px|The original prologue from Sonichu #8, where dating education was first mentioned]]
{{quote|Those who are unable to, teach.|Chris|[[Mumble 4]]}}
{{quote|Those who can, do; those who can't, teach|[[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]]}}
{{quote|Those who teach, can't.|Chris, [[Mumble 4]]}}


'''Dating education''' is [[Chris]]'s term for the formal instruction he believes should be available to [[Autism|instruct people on how to date]].  The concept is intended to be analogous to [[Wikipedia:sex education|sex education]]; Chris's premise is that it is pointless to teach young people how to interact sexually if they don't even know how to interact socially (because, you know, everybody needs lessons on that). As with "sex ed," Chris abbreviates dating education to "'''date ed'''," and is [[Autism|overly fascinated]] with the (alleged) joke that the idea of "date ed" sounds "dated."
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|Date Ed, but not Dated... get it!?]]


Judging from a [[Mailbag]] reply he posted, Chris considers the Dating Education Class to be one of his most noteworthy "[[inventions]]," alongside [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and some [[Lego]] contraption for carrying [[Pokémon]] cards. But what exactly does this show us about Chris? Chris [[Chris and Hypocrisy|believes]] that he should give people advice about something he knows absolutely NOTHING about. Not as if this is new, after all of the leaked chats he's had with his [[trolls|girlfriends]], talking about his expert [[honor roll|knowledge]] about how to make sex enjoyable.
'''Dating Education''' is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s term for the formal instruction he believes should be provided to instruct people on how to date.  As with "Sex Ed," Chris abbreviates dating education to "'''Date Ed'''," and frequently makes use of the ([[Random-access humor|alleged]]) joke that the idea of "Date Ed" sounds "Dated." The lack of Dating Education classes is something Chris has frequently complained about, with him seemingly being unaware of (or just ignoring) the fact that [[Chris and mental healthcare|an appropriately qualified therapist]] can teach him the social skills he desires.


==Origins==
Reading the [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Dating education comic]] and its related material released by Chris is an illuminating experience as it is a rather disturbing illustration of how Chris believes dating works. As such, it unintentionally serves as a rather thorough explanation as to why Chris behaves towards women the way he does, thus making it a must read for anyone wanting to learn about [[Chris and...|Chris and his mindset]].
Consistent with his [[autism]] and his particular refusal to accept [[Chris and reality|reality]], Chris tries to seek out clear, direct steps in social interactions where his natural gut instincts and social skills (or lack thereof) [[fail]] him. While modern psychology offers such people social skills groups which address the root issues by introducing basic social skills, Chris instead prefers his own notion of dating education and would rather sit around waiting for the public school system to implement it. In fact, his school apparently did have a "Coping Skills" class, mostly likely part of a [[Wikipedia:Special education|special education curriculum]], which he was required to attend. But he says that he'd either read ''[[R.L. Stine|Goosebumps]]'' or [[Biological clock|sleep]] through class.  So really, it's entirely his fault that he has no idea how to [[Megan|act around]] [[Kacey|a lady]].


==Intended goals==
__TOC__
In his own words, Chris describes why he feels the need for sex ed:


{{quote|
==In Real Life==
As I have proposed the idea in my adult life within my Sonichu Comic Books, and a bit before then, High Schools SHOULD have Dating Education Classes along with the Sexual Education Classes. In my humble opinion, Sex ED is fine for AFTER 3 or so DATES, but HOW DO WE EVEN GET TO THE FIRST DATE?!!! If I had the Dating Education back then, I wouldn't have to had suffered being a frustrated virgin for soo many years.
{{quote|As I have proposed the idea in my adult life within my Sonichu Comic Books, and a bit before then, High Schools SHOULD have Dating Education Classes along with the Sexual Education Classes. In my humble opinion, Sex ED is fine for AFTER 3 or so DATES, but HOW DO WE EVEN GET TO THE FIRST DATE?!!! If I had the Dating Education back then, I wouldn't have to had suffered being a frustrated virgin for soo many years.|Chris's Wikipedia page.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Dating education|Wikipedia autobiography]]</ref>}}
|[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Dating education|Wikipedia autobiography]]
 
}}
Had Chris not been sleeping or reading ''[[R.L. Stine|Goosebumps]]'', he might have noticed that real Sex Ed courses don't provide a step-by-step description of how to [[China|pound tom-toms]], but rather a source of reference for responsible sexual behaviors and the biology of the reproductive system. Chris seems to assume that the course provided the same educational experience he believes that he has acquired from pornography, as opposed to a run-down on sexually transmitted diseases and contraception. Chris even suggested that [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] could use a refresher, hinting that it would make her feel better about being [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|violated in vivid Crayola color]]:
 
{{quote|The point is allowing yourself more exposure to sex acts to make yourself feel more comfortable with that fact of life.|Chris, talking to [[Megan Schroeder]].<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008]]</ref>}}
 
His proposed class depends on a concept that has no worldly counterpart. In short, Chris is an idiot and has no idea how anything works.
 
Consistent with both his [[autism]] and his own unique resistance to learning, Chris tries to seek out clear, direct steps in social interactions where his natural instincts and social skills (or lack thereof) fail him. In fact, his schools most assuredly did have "Coping Skills" instruction in their [[Wikipedia:Special education|special education curriculum]], which he was required to attend. Sadly, though he has been exposed to:
 
*Special Education
*[[Rocky Shoemaker|Pastoral Counseling]]
*Psychology and Psychiatry
*[[GodJesus|God]] AND the [[Bear]]
 
...none of them can offer him the checklist of winning moves that he believes exists (but that has been kept from him). So really, it's entirely his fault that he has no idea how to act around other humans, much less eligible women. For the record, Chris considers Date Ed to be one of his top three [[inventions]]<ref>[[Mailbag 1#Chris the inventor]]</ref> – right behind the ''Sonichu'' Universe and a [[Lego]] contraption for carrying [[Pokémon]] cards.
 
==Chris Chan’s Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future==
Chris's most fully-realized rationale for his pedagogical plan can be found in an essay he wrote on 11 May 2009 and later posted on the [[CWCipedia]]. Entitled "Chris Chan’s Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future. The Solution: Dating Education," it was "originally written for a recent 2009 Community Support Contest sponsored by C-Ville's Battlefield Ford." Chris added, "too bad I did not win, but I'm not giving up on teaching our future generations the basics of Dating alongside Sexual Educaiton." The fact that Chris believes that his utterly ridiculous idea that all high schools in the [[United States]], possibly the whole world, should teach their students how to talk to one another (something most shy people can work on with a [[Rocky Shoemaker|counsellor]] or a [[Chris and psychology|psychologist]]), and should be graded on how they talk to [[Kimmi|dolls]], how well they study [[How to Talk to Girls|a book written by a nine-year old]] and how well they score on an extremely awkward paper test, as well as the fact that these schools should go directly against American anti-discrimination laws and not let [[homos]] into a required subject, with Chris saying that "it will stop people from becoming gay, [[Tomgirl Saga|since gay people usually turn when]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|they're lonely and in their 20's]]" speaks volumes on how Chris views dating, education and homosexuality. Here is the complete essay in all its glory:
{{quoteboxred|
I am one of a minority of people in the worldwide population; I am a Shy, Straight Caucasian Male who still struggles as an Adult Virgin. And I have dreams of sharing a family life with my Female Sweetheart, and to have and share between me and her our daughter named, Crystal Weston Chandler.


He genuinely believes the reason why he doesn't have a sweetheart is not due to the fact he's [[Chris and health|lazy]], [[fat]], ugly, [[niggos|racist]], [[homos|homophobic]], a [[List of Chris's lies|liar]], and an overall [[Fail|failure]] but that he merely doesn't know ''how'' to date and has no experience. In his mind, most people are single because they don't know how to go about on a date, not due to personal defect.
My shyness has belabored my dream from seeing birth. But mine is a mutual dream shared with every shy male in the world. Mine and their dreams could have been made individual realities sooner with a simple, great idea, '''DATING EDUCATION CLASSES'''.


Here it may be important to differentiate [[Chris and Reality|real life]] Sexual Education from Chris's warped notion. Had Chris not been sleeping or reading ''Goosebumps'', he may have noticed these courses provide not a step-by-step description of how to pound [[china]], but provide a source of reference on responsible sexual behaviors. Instead of a run-down of myriad STDs and preventative methods, Chris assumes the course provided the same educational experience he's gotten from countless Pornos. His proposed class depends on a conceit that has no worldly counterpart. In short, Chris is an idiot and has no idea how anything works.
We currently enforce, and have made required, Sexual Education classes in High Schools most everywhere. That is good for AFTER Date #3 or so, but the question remains, ''“How do we find, attract and talk to a single member of our individually respective Opposite Gender to even have a First Date Ever With?”''


==Analysis==
I would like to see Dating Education Classes required along with, before or shortly after, Sexual Education. I envision the teacher starting with the social basics, such as the simple greeting of “Hey, there. It’s a good day.”  :) Even quoting the Alec Grevin and his little red book, ''“How to Talk to Girls”''. Also, later in the semester, teaching empathetic social skills that can benefit both of the straight partners in each couple. I also envision classroom distribution/loaning of female Barbie Dolls for MEN to practice socializing on, and 8” GI-Joe Figures for WOMEN to practice socializing on as well. The Classmates could also be paired up, Male-for-Female/Female-for-Male, in Class Workshop(s). If there were any unpaired people of one gender in the class, volunteers of the opposite gender from within the school’s student roster can be brought in for them. There would be '''NO SAME-GENDER PAIRINGS, PERIOD'''.
In principle Chris believes dating education should be taught in high school as a companion course with sex ed; however since the primary audience for this class is himself he has depicted it as being available at a collegiate level as well. To persuade the world to introduce date ed Chris devoted [[Episode 19]] of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' to demonstrating his vision. However, the paradox of dating education is that it is supposed to teach Chris things he ''doesn't'' know, while his depiction of it is necessarily limited to teaching only what he ''does'' know, which is limited to the children's book ''[[How to Talk to Girls]]''. As a result, dating education ends up being a semester of being sequestered away from potential mates while chatting with them anonymously over the internet, until love arbitrarily happens. Presumably, under Chris's understanding of love, his characters will be trolled relentlessly in the meantime.


Also, Chris's schooling in the past has helped him little. Despite taking sex ed classes, he believes he can recycle his [[semen]] by swallowing it; despite taking art classes, he still cannot hold a pen correctly; and despite taking a marketing course at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], he still takes [[Axe]] commercials as gospel. Even if Date Ed did exist, Chris would most likely learn nothing from it.
It is a fact that individuals who were unable to find their opposite-gender Sweetheart or crushes and get lucky before adulthood are likely tempted to turn homo… A dismal future NO God-Loving Individual, including myself; I swear on my Holy Bible as I type this essay with every keystroke I make with my keyboard resting on my Bible, would ever want to see occur. :( The Dating Education Classes can best enforce the Natural Man-and-Woman Pairings/Couples; the homosexual count would be reduced.


In short, Chris believes he is capable of teaching something he is demanding that be taught to him and others on a grand scale.
If my essay is selected, I would give the money to our local High Schools to begin the Long-Necessary and Required Dating Education Class Trend within these United States, and then Worldwide, for a Better, Bright Future for All.


==Course Syllabus==
Thank You.}}
'''Required text''': ''[[How to Talk to Girls]]''


'''Core concepts''':
==In ''Sonichu''==
*''"Remain calm and to keel all [[Chris and anger|flustered emotions]] off your minds when first approaching your [[China|person of emotional interest]]"''  
:''Main Article: [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19|Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)]]''


*[[Sweetheart from the ground up|Be friends first]] and ''"let the romantic emotions grow between you two over [[Third date|a reasonable amount of time]]. A few weeks to even a few months will multiple meetings and dates with your friend are reccomended [sic]."''
Depending on how charitable your mood is, you might argue that Chris's idea for Date Ed is ''stupid'' but not ''insane.'' That is to say that it makes sense for Chris to want some guidance, and to extrapolate that to mean that other people want the same.  However, any such notions will be destroyed in short order should you peruse ''Sonichu 9'', specifically the episode containing DAT 303. DAT 303 is a thinly veiled matchmaking service, with a side order of Sex Ed and a heaping helping of complete lunacy. It boggles the mind to picture what DAT 101 or 404 might look like. Consider the following:


*A gentlemen ''"[[Emily|should ask before kissing her]] (or you), as a gesture of respect and kindness"''
*Everyone who took this class did so in hope of being paired up with a potential mate - in this class.
*The class was split perfectly: 50% male, 50% female.
*All of the students were attracted to the opposite sex.
*On the off chance that there were a spare student, the professor expressly states that she herself wouldn't be paired up with anybody, because it would conflict with both regulations AND her current relationship. This puts a bullet in any remaining pretence of this class being simply to work on social skills.
*The students are given dolls of the opposite sex, to practice their communication skills. Their names are [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]].
*Everybody hooks up with a date, except for "[[Clyde Cash|Clyde Cwash]]", who only got a 65% in the class.
* DAT 303. DAT3 03. [[Third date|DATE 03]].


'''Methodology:'''  
==DAT 303==
*Boys are given [[Barbara]] dolls and girls are given [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] dolls to better understand the "opposite gender."
===Course Syllabus===
'''Rationale''':
{{quote|Dating Education Classes can best enforce the Natural Man-and-Woman Pairings/Couples; the homosexual count would be reduced.|Chris, who would later identify as a [[bisexual]] [[Transgender|transwoman]].<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20161007173839/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia archive]</ref>}}


*[[Chris and Reality|Students are paired up by the teacher over the internet anonymously and then eventually reveal themselves and fall in love in person]].
'''Required Text''': ''[[How to Talk to Girls]]'' by Alec Greven


*Students will be required to regularly do short transcripts of imaginary conversations with GI Joes for the women and Barbies with the men.
'''Materials Provided:''' Robert and Barbara [[Officer Nasty|Dolls]]; iDate Software


*[[Darkies]] are rejected by [[Reginald Sneasel|mutant, anthropomorphic Pokémon]] because Chris hates them.
'''Core concepts''':
*Staying [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|cool under pressure]]
*Being [[Friend zone|friends first]] and letting the relationship grow organically
*The etiquette of romance: asking before [[Megan Schroeder|touching]] or [[Emily|kissing]]


==Final Exam==
'''Methodology:'''
[[Image:SchuComic10P30.jpg|thumb|right|Final Exam as written by Chris in episode 19.]]
*Students are paired up by the teacher over the Internet anonymously and then eventually reveal themselves and fall in love in person.  
The final exam consists of 10 questions, the last being an essay question. [[Fail|No calculators]]. Black or blue ink only. You have one hour to complete. Send all answers to Chris himself so they may be <s>used to improve his own personal dating method</s> graded.
*Students will be required to regularly do short transcripts of imaginary conversations with their dolls.


{{quotebox|
===Final Exam===
Take the test [https://forms.gle/3b5M8hgwr7ohTi61A here]
{{collapsible|Final Exam|
Name_________________ Date__________
Name_________________ Date__________


Line 64: Line 89:
<br>A. Upfront B. Middle of Converstation [sic] C. End of Enjoyable Conversation
<br>A. Upfront B. Middle of Converstation [sic] C. End of Enjoyable Conversation


<br>4. Boys can be like magnets, and girls the metal, when the boy is confident, honest, and smart.
<br>4. Boys can be like magnets, and girls the metal, when the boy is confident, [[Honest Content|honest]], and [[Honor roll|smart]].
<br>A. True B. False
<br>A. True B. False


Line 89: Line 114:
YOU MAY TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELF AND IF YOU DO, FEEL FREE TO COPY THIS IMAGE, PRINT IT OUT, AND TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELVES. THEN E-MAIL ME YOUR ANSWERS, VERBATIM, ESPECIALLY THE ESSAY QUESTION AND I WILL GRADE IT HONESTLY.
YOU MAY TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELF AND IF YOU DO, FEEL FREE TO COPY THIS IMAGE, PRINT IT OUT, AND TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELVES. THEN E-MAIL ME YOUR ANSWERS, VERBATIM, ESPECIALLY THE ESSAY QUESTION AND I WILL GRADE IT HONESTLY.
}}
}}
In 3 November 2009, possibly not particularly enjoying grading the homework that people emailed him, Chris changed the final paragraph to read:
{{quotebox|YOU MAY TAKE THIS EXAM YOURSELF, AND YOU MAY GRADE IT YOURSELF WITH THE ANSWER KEY IN THE BACK OF THIS BOOK.
AND FOR THE ESSAY QUESTION, WRITE YOUR HONEST ANSWERS BEFORE COMPARING THEM TO THE BEST EXAMPLE OF AN ANSWER ALONGSIDE THE ANSWER KEY.}}


===Answer Key===
===Answer Key===
On 01 [[August 2009]], Chris uploaded an answer key to the test as it appears on the test, including a suggested essay question answer.
{{collapsible|Answer Key|
 
<center>Multiple Choice</center>
# C
# C
# D
# D
Line 108: Line 127:
# B
# B
# D
# D
<center>Free Response</center>


{{quotebox|1=<nowiki>**</nowiki>This was an Open Question with Multiple Answer Variation depending on person writing the essay.<br/>
&#42;&#42;This was an Open Question with Multiple Answer Variation depending on person writing the essay.<br />
<nowiki>**</nowiki>Here is what I feel is the BEST EXAMPLE of an answer from Chi-Chian of the [[PSN]]; Congratuations! =D<br/>
&#42;&#42;Here is what I feel is the BEST EXAMPLE of an answer from Chi-Chian of the PSN; Congratuations! &#61;D


1. Aprroach the boy<br/>
1. Aprroach the boy<br />
- "Hi, what's up!"
- "Hi, what's up!"


2. Get the name<br/>
2. Get the name<br />
- "I'm Alex, what are you called?"
- "I'm Alex, what are you called?"


3. Find out more, get his interest<br/>
3. Find out more, get his interest<br />
- "So what are you into? What music do you like? Seen any good movies lately?"
- "So what are you into? What music do you like? Seen any good movies lately?"


4. Give feedback, get opportunities for him to ask questions and get interested<br/>
4. Give feedback, get opportunities for him to ask questions and get interested<br />
- "I'm into anime (my favorite is Puni Puni Poemy, by the way - Kobayashi Poemi is so funny!!). I’ve seen that movie too! I like that actor."
- "I'm into anime (my favorite is Puni Puni Poemy, by the way - Kobayashi Poemi is so funny!!). I’ve seen that movie too! I like that actor."


5. Give interest/compliments back<br/>
5. Give interest/compliments back<br />
- "I love your haircut ([[Chris and fashion|t-shirt]], [[Belt Buckle of Fail|belt]]. etc)! What's that [[AXE|cologne]]?"
- "I love your haircut (t-shirt, belt. etc)! What's that cologne?"


6. Get more [[Honest Content|intimate details]]<br/>
6. Get more intimate details<br />
- "So how old are you? Come here often? You from around here?"
- "So how old are you? Come here often? You from around here?"


7. Food is a conversation foundation<br/>
7. Food is a conversation foundation<br />
- "Can we go get lunch/dinner? Can you buy me something to drink?<br/>
- "Can we go get lunch/dinner? Can you buy me something to drink?
(I think a gentleman should buy the lady a drink. although I don't drink alcohol or smoke)."
(I think a gentleman should buy the lady a drink. although I don't drink alcohol or smoke)."


Line 138: Line 158:
shy or stumped.
shy or stumped.


9. A walk to [[Chris and health|help with digestion]]. Usually there's a couple of shops around
9. A walk to help with digestion. Usually there's a couple of shops around
in crowded places, so you can always visit a couple together. Not necesserily
in crowded places, so you can always visit a couple together. Not necesserily
buying anything, just browsing. A bookshop or a music/video store
buying anything, just browsing. A bookshop or a music/video store
is always a good choice.
is always a good choice.


10. Alter the walk it‘s time to go, but this is where the telephone trade-offshould start.<br/>
10. Alter the walk it‘s time to go, but this is where the telephone trade-offshould start.<br />
- "It"s been really cool talking and walking with you and I'd like to do it again sometime."
- "It"s been really cool talking and walking with you and I'd like to do it again sometime."


<nowiki>**</nowiki>Chi-Chian wrote and submitted her answers via e-mail, April 13, 2009.<br/>
&#42;&#42;Chi-Chian wrote and submitted her answers via e-mail, April 13, 2009.<br />
<nowiki>**</nowiki>CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER WROTE THIS EXAM ON APRIL 11, 2009}}
&#42;&#42;CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER WROTE THIS EXAM ON APRIL 11, 2009}}
 


==Gallery==
<gallery>
<gallery>
Image:SchuComic9P65.jpg|Answers to the multiple choice.
Image:SchuComic9P30.jpg|Final Exam as written by Chris in episode 19.
Image:SchuComic9P66.jpg|Answers to the essay question.
Image:SchuComic9P105.jpg|Answers to the multiple choice questions.
Image:SchuComic9P106.jpg|Answers to the essay question.
</gallery>
</gallery>


==On the CWCipedia==
==References==
 
<references />
Surprise, surprise, Chris made a terrible article about his shitty idea. Interestingly, the article was copy-pasted from an essay he wrote.
 
''Originally written for a recent 2009 Community Support Contest sponsored by C-Ville's Battlefield Ford; too bad I did not win, but I'm not giving up on teaching our future generations the basics of Dating alongside Sexual Educaiton [sic].''
 
[[BILLY MAYS|BUT WAIT! THERE'S ''MORE''!]]
 
{{quote | Dating Education Classes can best enforce the Natural Man-and-Woman Pairings/Couples; the homosexual count would be reduced. | Chris, on Dating Education Death Camps, because [[Homos|men are only gay because they can't find a woman to fuck]]}}
 
Of course, it makes perfect sense to teach future generations dating education, because the overpopulation could sure use a boost now! Why would "future generations" need to learn dating education if they don't seem to be having trouble with it? Chris doesn't understand that for a grassroots movement, you need more than one person to support and promote it.


==External Links==
==See Also==
*[http://www.mybuzzquiz.com/en_US/actions/PlayQuiz.do?fileID=310722 Abridged MyBuzz Quiz version of the exam]
*[[Dating|Dating]]
*[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]


 
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{CWCipedia|chris=Dating Education}}
{{Love quest}}
{{CWC-isms}}
{{CWC-isms}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Latest revision as of 12:19, 14 September 2024

“ Those who are unable to, teach. ”
Chris, Mumble 4
Date Ed, but not Dated... get it!?

Dating Education is Chris's term for the formal instruction he believes should be provided to instruct people on how to date. As with "Sex Ed," Chris abbreviates dating education to "Date Ed," and frequently makes use of the (alleged) joke that the idea of "Date Ed" sounds "Dated." The lack of Dating Education classes is something Chris has frequently complained about, with him seemingly being unaware of (or just ignoring) the fact that an appropriately qualified therapist can teach him the social skills he desires.

Reading the Dating education comic and its related material released by Chris is an illuminating experience as it is a rather disturbing illustration of how Chris believes dating works. As such, it unintentionally serves as a rather thorough explanation as to why Chris behaves towards women the way he does, thus making it a must read for anyone wanting to learn about Chris and his mindset.

In Real Life

“ As I have proposed the idea in my adult life within my Sonichu Comic Books, and a bit before then, High Schools SHOULD have Dating Education Classes along with the Sexual Education Classes. In my humble opinion, Sex ED is fine for AFTER 3 or so DATES, but HOW DO WE EVEN GET TO THE FIRST DATE?!!! If I had the Dating Education back then, I wouldn't have to had suffered being a frustrated virgin for soo many years. ”
Chris's Wikipedia page.[1]

Had Chris not been sleeping or reading Goosebumps, he might have noticed that real Sex Ed courses don't provide a step-by-step description of how to pound tom-toms, but rather a source of reference for responsible sexual behaviors and the biology of the reproductive system. Chris seems to assume that the course provided the same educational experience he believes that he has acquired from pornography, as opposed to a run-down on sexually transmitted diseases and contraception. Chris even suggested that Megan could use a refresher, hinting that it would make her feel better about being violated in vivid Crayola color:

“ The point is allowing yourself more exposure to sex acts to make yourself feel more comfortable with that fact of life. ”
Chris, talking to Megan Schroeder.[2]

His proposed class depends on a concept that has no worldly counterpart. In short, Chris is an idiot and has no idea how anything works.

Consistent with both his autism and his own unique resistance to learning, Chris tries to seek out clear, direct steps in social interactions where his natural instincts and social skills (or lack thereof) fail him. In fact, his schools most assuredly did have "Coping Skills" instruction in their special education curriculum, which he was required to attend. Sadly, though he has been exposed to:

...none of them can offer him the checklist of winning moves that he believes exists (but that has been kept from him). So really, it's entirely his fault that he has no idea how to act around other humans, much less eligible women. For the record, Chris considers Date Ed to be one of his top three inventions[3] – right behind the Sonichu Universe and a Lego contraption for carrying Pokémon cards.

Chris Chan’s Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future

Chris's most fully-realized rationale for his pedagogical plan can be found in an essay he wrote on 11 May 2009 and later posted on the CWCipedia. Entitled "Chris Chan’s Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future. The Solution: Dating Education," it was "originally written for a recent 2009 Community Support Contest sponsored by C-Ville's Battlefield Ford." Chris added, "too bad I did not win, but I'm not giving up on teaching our future generations the basics of Dating alongside Sexual Educaiton." The fact that Chris believes that his utterly ridiculous idea that all high schools in the United States, possibly the whole world, should teach their students how to talk to one another (something most shy people can work on with a counsellor or a psychologist), and should be graded on how they talk to dolls, how well they study a book written by a nine-year old and how well they score on an extremely awkward paper test, as well as the fact that these schools should go directly against American anti-discrimination laws and not let homos into a required subject, with Chris saying that "it will stop people from becoming gay, since gay people usually turn when they're lonely and in their 20's" speaks volumes on how Chris views dating, education and homosexuality. Here is the complete essay in all its glory:

I am one of a minority of people in the worldwide population; I am a Shy, Straight Caucasian Male who still struggles as an Adult Virgin. And I have dreams of sharing a family life with my Female Sweetheart, and to have and share between me and her our daughter named, Crystal Weston Chandler.

My shyness has belabored my dream from seeing birth. But mine is a mutual dream shared with every shy male in the world. Mine and their dreams could have been made individual realities sooner with a simple, great idea, DATING EDUCATION CLASSES.

We currently enforce, and have made required, Sexual Education classes in High Schools most everywhere. That is good for AFTER Date #3 or so, but the question remains, “How do we find, attract and talk to a single member of our individually respective Opposite Gender to even have a First Date Ever With?”

I would like to see Dating Education Classes required along with, before or shortly after, Sexual Education. I envision the teacher starting with the social basics, such as the simple greeting of “Hey, there. It’s a good day.”  :) Even quoting the Alec Grevin and his little red book, “How to Talk to Girls”. Also, later in the semester, teaching empathetic social skills that can benefit both of the straight partners in each couple. I also envision classroom distribution/loaning of female Barbie Dolls for MEN to practice socializing on, and 8” GI-Joe Figures for WOMEN to practice socializing on as well. The Classmates could also be paired up, Male-for-Female/Female-for-Male, in Class Workshop(s). If there were any unpaired people of one gender in the class, volunteers of the opposite gender from within the school’s student roster can be brought in for them. There would be NO SAME-GENDER PAIRINGS, PERIOD.

It is a fact that individuals who were unable to find their opposite-gender Sweetheart or crushes and get lucky before adulthood are likely tempted to turn homo… A dismal future NO God-Loving Individual, including myself; I swear on my Holy Bible as I type this essay with every keystroke I make with my keyboard resting on my Bible, would ever want to see occur.  :( The Dating Education Classes can best enforce the Natural Man-and-Woman Pairings/Couples; the homosexual count would be reduced.

If my essay is selected, I would give the money to our local High Schools to begin the Long-Necessary and Required Dating Education Class Trend within these United States, and then Worldwide, for a Better, Bright Future for All.

Thank You.

In Sonichu

Main Article: Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)

Depending on how charitable your mood is, you might argue that Chris's idea for Date Ed is stupid but not insane. That is to say that it makes sense for Chris to want some guidance, and to extrapolate that to mean that other people want the same. However, any such notions will be destroyed in short order should you peruse Sonichu 9, specifically the episode containing DAT 303. DAT 303 is a thinly veiled matchmaking service, with a side order of Sex Ed and a heaping helping of complete lunacy. It boggles the mind to picture what DAT 101 or 404 might look like. Consider the following:

  • Everyone who took this class did so in hope of being paired up with a potential mate - in this class.
  • The class was split perfectly: 50% male, 50% female.
  • All of the students were attracted to the opposite sex.
  • On the off chance that there were a spare student, the professor expressly states that she herself wouldn't be paired up with anybody, because it would conflict with both regulations AND her current relationship. This puts a bullet in any remaining pretence of this class being simply to work on social skills.
  • The students are given dolls of the opposite sex, to practice their communication skills. Their names are Robert and Barbara.
  • Everybody hooks up with a date, except for "Clyde Cwash", who only got a 65% in the class.
  • DAT 303. DAT3 03. DATE 03.

DAT 303

Course Syllabus

Rationale:

“ Dating Education Classes can best enforce the Natural Man-and-Woman Pairings/Couples; the homosexual count would be reduced. ”
Chris, who would later identify as a bisexual transwoman.[4]

Required Text: How to Talk to Girls by Alec Greven

Materials Provided: Robert and Barbara Dolls; iDate Software

Core concepts:

Methodology:

  • Students are paired up by the teacher over the Internet anonymously and then eventually reveal themselves and fall in love in person.
  • Students will be required to regularly do short transcripts of imaginary conversations with their dolls.

Final Exam

Take the test here

Final Exam

Name_________________ Date__________


1. About _% of regular girls ditch boys, and _% of pretty girls ditch boys
A. 10/100 B. 50/50 C. 73/98 D. 75/13


2. Which of the follow characteristics attract your opposite gender best?
A. Class Clown B. Full Show-Off C. Silent - Types D. None of the Above


3. When is an appropriate time to ask for a phone number?
A. Upfront B. Middle of Converstation [sic] C. End of Enjoyable Conversation


4. Boys can be like magnets, and girls the metal, when the boy is confident, honest, and smart.
A. True B. False


5. When there should be a girl for every boy, all people of your opposite gender is already taken by some other dude or gal.
A. True B. False


6. If the relationship or crush doesn't work out, you...
A. Worry B. Move On C. Cry and Pout D. None of the above


7. How should you approach the person of your opposite gender if you are really shy?
A. As a Friend First B. Run Away C. With Hankey in Mind D. Send Someone Else


8. If she/he gives you a wrong number, try harder on that person.
A. True B. False


9. To keep your girl/guy liking you, you should...
A. Keep Clean B. Act Normal C. Show off A skill D. All of the Above


10 Essay Question.
From Approach to the end of the conversaion [sic], list a 10-step approach in walking to and talking to people of your opposite gender.

**FOR ALL Sonichu & Rosechu Site VISITORS AND COMIC READERS**

YOU MAY TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELF AND IF YOU DO, FEEL FREE TO COPY THIS IMAGE, PRINT IT OUT, AND TAKE THIS EXAM FOR YOURSELVES. THEN E-MAIL ME YOUR ANSWERS, VERBATIM, ESPECIALLY THE ESSAY QUESTION AND I WILL GRADE IT HONESTLY.

Answer Key

Answer Key
Multiple Choice
  1. C
  2. D
  3. C
  4. A
  5. B
  6. B
  7. A
  8. B
  9. D
Free Response

**This was an Open Question with Multiple Answer Variation depending on person writing the essay.
**Here is what I feel is the BEST EXAMPLE of an answer from Chi-Chian of the PSN; Congratuations! =D

1. Aprroach the boy
- "Hi, what's up!"

2. Get the name
- "I'm Alex, what are you called?"

3. Find out more, get his interest
- "So what are you into? What music do you like? Seen any good movies lately?"

4. Give feedback, get opportunities for him to ask questions and get interested
- "I'm into anime (my favorite is Puni Puni Poemy, by the way - Kobayashi Poemi is so funny!!). I’ve seen that movie too! I like that actor."

5. Give interest/compliments back
- "I love your haircut (t-shirt, belt. etc)! What's that cologne?"

6. Get more intimate details
- "So how old are you? Come here often? You from around here?"

7. Food is a conversation foundation
- "Can we go get lunch/dinner? Can you buy me something to drink? (I think a gentleman should buy the lady a drink. although I don't drink alcohol or smoke)."

8. At the food place you can expand on the themes previously discussed, such as art, music or cinema. but allow the boy to talk as well, support him if he gets shy or stumped.

9. A walk to help with digestion. Usually there's a couple of shops around in crowded places, so you can always visit a couple together. Not necesserily buying anything, just browsing. A bookshop or a music/video store is always a good choice.

10. Alter the walk it‘s time to go, but this is where the telephone trade-offshould start.
- "It"s been really cool talking and walking with you and I'd like to do it again sometime."

**Chi-Chian wrote and submitted her answers via e-mail, April 13, 2009.
**CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER WROTE THIS EXAM ON APRIL 11, 2009

Gallery

  • Final Exam as written by Chris in episode 19.

  • Answers to the multiple choice questions.

  • Answers to the essay question.

References

  1. ↑ Wikipedia autobiography
  2. ↑ Megan Emails, 2008
  3. ↑ Mailbag 1#Chris the inventor
  4. ↑ CWCipedia archive

See Also

v • d • e  
Chris's Love Quest
Candidates (List)
Sarah Hammer ♥ Tiffany Robinson ♥ Natasha Turner ♥ Laura Dorazio ♥ Kellie Andes ♥ Tiffany Gowen ♥ Molly Quarles ♥ Anna McLerran ♥ Hanna "Fandana" ♥ Jelena ♥ Lindsay Kaye ♥ Megan Schroeder ♥ Lori Lopez ♥ Blanca Weiss ♥ Sarah Jackson ♥ Jessie Ruddy ♥ Chloe ♥ PandaHalo ♥ Caitlin ♥ Sarah May ♥ Julie Milvana ♥ Emily Schifflet ♥ Ivy O'Neil ♥ Vanessa Hudgens ♥ Christina Katherine Trevillian ♥ Faeryn "Hambeast" ♥ Kacey Devoria ♥ Regina Novakova ♥ The Wallflower ♥ Jacklyn Romy ♥ Mia Hamm ♥ Catherine Sorrentino ♥ DoopieDoOver ♥ Jessica Quinn ♥ Bryan Shickley ♥ Various OCs (Magi-Chan Sonichu ♥ Cryzel Rosechu ♥ Mewtwo ♥ Sylvana Rosechu ♥ Pickchu) ♥ Tings Tingz ♥ Jacob Sockness ♥ MKRNightVee ♥ Annie Ikenberry ♥ Isabella Janke ♥ Fiona ♥ Barbara Chandler ♥ Flutter
 Heart-Torch-Comic.jpg
Purpose
Obstacles
Writings
Resources
See also
The CWC-tionary

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See also: Chris and English | List of phrases Chris copied from media

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