List of restaurants

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Chris's dream restaurant. At least he's honest about how fat that crap will make you.

Chris isn't much of a cook, nor is anyone else currently living at 14 Branchland Court. When he's not eating reheated frozen dinners, he's usually chowing down at a variety of local restaurants. Keeping with the theme of commercial consumerism, all of Chris's favorite restaurants are chains.

Applebee's

Applebee's is a popular chain of sit-down restaurants. Chris has occasionally eaten here, but it's generally too dear for his budget. His most notable visit was his date with Catherine and her cousin Al on 31 October 2014, where he horrified staff and patrons alike. During the father call, he mentions taking Kacey there and leaving a 15% tip on a bill of (somehow) ten dollars – a whole $1.50.

Arby's

Arby's is a large quick-service sandwich chain known for having the meats. In one IRC chat Chris considered Arby's as one of the possible restaurants to which he will take his first date.

Baja Bean

Baja Bean is a small chain serving Mexican food. A look at their website suggests they have only two restaurants, one of which is in Richmond. Interestingly, their location in Richmond is located only blocks from where Barb raised Cole Smithey. They also had a location in Charlottesville that Chris is known to have visited, but this has since closed down.

Appearances

• Chris tried to set up a meeting with Regina at that restaurant.
• On 25 October 2010 Chris mentioned that he once went to Baja Bean at Charlottesville but does not go there much anymore.

Burger King

Main article: Burger King

Known as Hungry Jack's in Australia, Chris favors McDonald's, whereas Bob preferred its rival, Burger King. Thus, Chris usually ate here when he was out with his father.

Chick-fil-A

Admittedly, the store might've been a literary influence.

Chick-fil-A is a fast-food restaurant chain originating in the American South that Chris frequents, famous for its chicken sandwiches and lemonade and for always being closed on Sundays (due to their founder's Christian "seventh day of rest" beliefs). Chick-fil-A is generally considered to be one of the healthier fast food options in the United States. However, Chris has mentioned it much less often than its artery-clogging big brother, McDonald's. The reason for this is unknown; possibilities include its lack of marketing campaigns aimed at children or an absence of foolish sweepstakes or "reward programs". As such, Chris has never been banned from a Chick-fil-A in an epic showdown battling jerkops. Even when the company came under fire for its founder's anti-homosexuality views and its involvements in "family values" movements, both of which would likely endear it to Chris, it did not seem to curry any favor with him.

Appearances

• Chris met up with Emily in front of the Chick-fil-A at Charlottesville Fashion Square. Or at least tried to by calling out to the patrons (who were undoubtedly amused and perplexed).

• The Fashion Square Chick-fil-A was the site of one of the missed meetings between Chris and Surfshack Tito's agents during the drama over destroying Chris's PS3.

• The CWCville Shopping Center includes a lone Chick-fil-A on the second floor.

Country Cookin

Simonla calls for Country Cookin.

Country Cookin was Christian's not-quite-fast-food restaurant of choice. It was a Virginia-based chain of rustic steak house/buffet and grill restaurants, akin to Golden Corral, Roadhouse Grill or Ponderosa/Bonanza Steakhouse in the US, and Harvester, Beefeater or Brewer's Fayre in the United Kingdom.

Chris had mentioned it on several occasions and even had taken his troll friend Joshua Martinez there.

The company closed all of its locations in October 2020 as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic.

References by Chris

• In an e-mail conversation with Anna McLerran from 2007, Chris mentioned his regular trips to the restaurant with Joshua.
• In Mumble 2, Chris mentioned Country Cookin as one of his favorite restaurants.
• A Country Cookin branch is located in the CWCville Shopping Center.
• In Sonichu #11, a newly-resurrected Simonla recommends going for some Country Cookin food.

El Agave

A Mexican restaurant chain where Chris and his parents have occasionally eaten.

References by Chris

• In Jackie Chat 8, Chris mentions going to El Agave with his parents using his tugboat money.
• In September 2013, Chris scraped a woman's car while backing up in the El Agave parking lot.

Golden Corral

Golden Corral is an all-you-can-eat buffet chain, well-known in the American South and Midwest as the place to go for a maximum ratio of calories consumed to cash expended. Just don't think too much about where it all came from. During Chris's date with Emily, Bob mentions that he had a heart attack there while paying for the family's meal, but was caught by Barb before he fell to the floor. Despite this, it was one of Chris's favorite places to eat, probably since he could stuff his face with fatty, low-quality food at a low price. However, the Charlottesville branch went out of business in 2010 and became a Chinese buffet.

References by Chris

• Caitlin, a waitress Chris had a crush on for a day or so, worked at Golden Corral.
• In Mumble 2, he mentioned that it's one of his favorite places to eat.
• Describing his ideal date spots in an IRC chat, Chris proposed Golden Corral as a second-date destination.
• Chris's visits to the Corral with his family seem to be tightly scheduled. In a MySpace conversation from 4 September 2005, he noted that they'd be there from 3:30 to 4:45 the next day.
• Perhaps because of that precise schedule, or perhaps because he was simply overwhelmed by stress, during his final Skype conversation with BlueSpike Chris unexpectedly abandoned the conversation to take off for the Corral.
• Chris listed it as his favorite restaurant in his profile at The HooK Cafe.
• In a May 2014 Facebook post, responding to news that a fire had destroyed the Chinese restaurant where the Golden Corral once stood, he angrily demanded that his favorite restaurant be rebuilt on the site.

IHOP

A restaurant chain best known for its pancakes and other breakfast foods. Chris's parents would go there for dinner every week during the classic Chris era to take advantage of the senior discount. Chris was usually not brought along (ostensibly because it would disqualify them from the discount), but his parents would get takeout and bring it home to him afterwards. Chris was fond of their grilled chicken sandwiches.

References by Chris

• In Jackie Chat 8 Chris claims that he sometimes treated his parents to dinner there using his tugboat money.
• In the Rebeckah Bentley E-mails Chris mentions going to IHOP on his 32nd birthday for the free ice cream dinner.

McDonald's

Main article: McDonald's

Chris's cheap-and-easy fast food of choice. When he wanted to cut down on his Big Mac and McNugget intake, he stopped eating there... more than twice a week or so.

Sheetz

Sheetz is a hybrid gas station/mini-mart chain based in Pennsylvania, with stores in five other states (including Virginia) in the United States. Among the chain's selling points is an array of fast food options.

References by Chris

• Chris ended Mumble 5 by saying he needed to duck out to Sheetz to get his mother a sandwich.
• In the e-mail revealing the muscle bra, Chris mentioned that he'd sought a job application at Sheetz.
• While chatting with Sarah May in February 2009, Chris noted a trip to Sheetz for gasoline.
• Attempting to defend his dietary choices in one of the Kacey phone calls, Chris claimed that he enjoyed fruit smoothies from Sheetz (which can easily crack 600 calories apiece).
  

  Note he ordered no pickles
• On 4 June 2011, Chris told Jackie that recently he was at Sheetz with his mother, where a man approached Chris and asked him if he were a homosexual. Chris replied that he was a Tomgirl.
• On 2 September 2013, Chris wrote on Facebook that a couple of weeks earlier (presumably at August) he met Michael Snyder in Ruckersville at Sheetz and at McDonald's in the same morning. During the Sheetz encounter Snyder gave Chris the finger, while at the McDonald's encounter Snyder told Chris that he won't hurt him.
• On 15 June 2014, Chris gave Sheetz a five-star review on Facebook.
• On 29 July 2018, Chris, driving his mother's Dodge Caravan back home from BronyCon, found that the car had broken down while at a Sheetz gas station in Bealeton, VA. He recorded Waiting for the tow truck.

Sonic

Sonic Drive-In is a fast food drive-in chain which coincidentally has the same name as our autistic hero's favorite video game franchise. It has no locations in Chris's area, so he is not a regular patron. During his Ohio trip, however, Chris visited a Sonic location in Streetsboro, Ohio, perhaps intrigued by the restaurant's name. He ordered a hamburger with mayonnaise and no pickles and a lemonberry slushie "made from real fruit."

Subway

Subway is the world's largest fast-food chain, selling cheap and mediocre submarine sandwiches. Chris mentioned a nearby Subway in the DayOut videos, and said that he likes Subway in a call from jail. "Foglechu", named for former Subway mascot and convicted pedofork Jared Fogle, was one of The 69 Destined Sonichus and Rosechus.

TGI Fridays

TGI Fridays is a casual dining chain where Chris used to hang out with his friend Joshua Martinez. Chris usually paid for both of their meals. On one occasion Chris had no money for food, so Josh paid for his own meal and ate while Chris looked on in envy.

As of 2013 Chris was still in the habit of going there, even though he and Josh had long ceased to be friends. He claimed that it was the only bar-like establishment which he still patronized, although he did not make it clear whether he came there to drink or merely to dine.

The chain's Charlottesville location, probably the one which Chris frequented, has since closed.