Chris and fashion
Christian Weston Chandler has a somewhat peculiar taste in fashion. Although he is willing to spend thousands of dollars on video games, action figures, My Little Ponys and sex dolls, Chris is very stingy when it comes to shopping for his clothes, which are exclusively purchased secondhand at thrift stores like Salvation Army and Goodwill. Therefore, the only clothes he owns are colorful collared shirts and undersized rugby shirts that have been marinating in his bodily stench and fluids for the past decade. Since most of them are decorated with horizontal stripes, they only make him look fatter.
Mailbag 42 revealed that at least one (the "Advice Dog" shirt) and possibly all of his shirts were purchased by his cruel, cruel mother so people will notice the fact that he's "special" and treat him with sympathy. Alternatively, it could be that the Chandlers just aren't exactly what you'd call "fashion savvy".
Although his mother doesn't directly dress him anymore, Chris still chooses to wear these shirts, possibly out of a strong aversion to change, a common trait of autistic people. Some trolls have proposed that Chris would probably look somewhat-almost normal if he only wore a fucking t-shirt every now and then (sans video game/cartoon characters).
Childhood
In his youth, Chris set the general tone for years to come with many striped polo and tee shirts and khaki pants. The only difference compared to today is that he sometimes even dared to wear single-colored tee shirts or shirts with his favorite game and television characters on them. The only article of clothing he currently owns that doesn't follow the "long-sleeved, colorful clown suit" theme is the Pokémon T-shirt that he has owned since he was 19. Being yellow, it does not look good on him.
Trademark clothing
Chris's typical outfit consists of:
- His favorite shirt, a striped/weirdly patterned rugby shirt, which is so tight that it accentuates his voluptuous, masculine bosoms. This is the shirt that Chris almost invariably draws himself wearing in the comics.
- His medallions (sporadically) / his High School Ring
- A pair of Pedo-Glasses attached to the Glasses Chain of Fail.
- Jeans or khaki slacks. Chris's jeans typically define his rear end to a disturbing level — he may be wearing women's jeans, or he may simply still wear pants his gut long ago outgrew.
- Belt Buckle of Fail
- Alternatively, a green terrycloth bathrobe with a mismatched (of course) black belt.
- On occasion, a dark suit jacket, perhaps for the many funerals that plague his existence.
- Recently, a sports bra to keep previously mentioned bosoms in check.
The newest addition to his wardrobe is the I Enjoy Vagina shirt.
The "IBA" outfit
In mid-June 2009, roughly around the time he made friends, Chris temporarily decided that his current look was old hat. He got rid of many of the striped shirts (mostly because he couldn't fit into them anymore) and grew a terrible goatee.
The reformed Chris's wardrobe consisted of:
- Sunglasses over normal glasses (Glasses Chain of Fail remains)
- T-shirt over long sleeved shirt.
- Goatee.
- Tattoo sleeves
- A black vest that is too small for his girth.
- DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS
Unconfirmed reports state that he was seen walking around downtown Charlottesville blasting Guns 'n' Roses from a pocket radio and trying to pick up women.
His new attire was first properly presented to the world in the Rollin' and Trollin' video.
Soon afterward, however, he went back to sporting his traditional clownshirts, and claimed that he was pressured into making the Rollin' and Trollin' video.
The "Gay Trucker" outfit
After he made a promise to leave the internet in the spring of 2010, Chris threw away his clown shirts, ditched the medallion, and picked up a new wardrobe in an attempt to look like a normal person. The result is a modified version of the IBA outfit. It has been observed that Chris tries to look like a bad boy, but he ends up looking like a gay trucker, hence the trolls' term for his new wardrobe.
The only way he could make it look gayer is by combining it with his muscle bra. Which, unfortunately, he has. And in public. At this point, going back to the Sonichu Medallion would actually improve his chances of picking up girls.
With the arrival of the gay trucker outfit also came an interest in T-shirts that boldly express Chris's desire for sex, often in exceedingly tasteless ways. The first clear look at one of these shirts was in a profoundly disturbing video leaked in late April 2010 which featured Chris wearing a parody shirt that read "Mount and do me". That said, the video was made for a potential sweetheart that Chris desperately wanted to fuck, leaving open the possibility that Chris didn't intend to dress like that outside his bedroom.
Chris destroyed any hope of that being the case on 18 June 2010 when he wore a shirt that said "Enjoy Vagina" to a public, family-oriented concert. He then topped himself later, by pulling that shirt over his head, and standing around in his muscle bra, which he had written "WANT WOMAN!" on. The common belief is that these tasteless, sexually themed shirts are the next evolution of the attraction sign, a way for him to inform potential mates that he is both straight and available without ever having to talk to people.
Theory of fashion
The clothes that Christian chooses seem almost like a costume for him, especially his infamous striped shirt. Given that he is autistic, observers often speculate that he may have difficulty with identifying things visually, including himself. In Sonichu 7, he alluded to having to take time to study his appearance in a mirror, possibly wearing the shirt in question. Either way, Christian seems to regard his shirt as an integral part of his identity in the same way that trolls do.
His fashion sense has shown itself to be evolving in the last year, but moving in cycles. In 2010 he seemed to have ditched the Sonichu Medallion and moved into what could be described as a more edgy, hip, aggressive look. His success at being so is on par for course with the rest of his attempts at things.
Of note, during his conversation with Kacey while posing as Liquid Chris he claimed to also own a striped shirt like the "impostor". He expressed much joy at the fact that it was red, white, and blue, implying a patriotic view of the colors.
Wardrobe
Below is a gallery of most of Chris's wardrobe, along with links to the videos they appeared in:
"The Impostor"
1 2 3
"The Horizontal Horror"
1
"The Star Fleet Captain"
1
"The Captain Falcon"
1
"The Swamp Monster"
1
"The Manchild"
1
"The Rugby of Shame"
1
"The Muscle Bra"
1
"The Muscle Bra 2"
1
"The Mount and Do Me"
1
"The Burgundy Nightmare"
1
"The Rainbow Flag"
1
"The Bordeaux Butcher"
1
"The Ivory Poacher"
1
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This article is in need of original illustrations. Help the CWCki and the Artist Commune project by drawing some original illustrations and inserting them into the article. |
Wrist warmer
Ever wonder what that thing is behind Chris's neck?
| “ | Yes, it is a part of my necklace; it's a "Wilson" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there. | ” |
| Chris[1] | ||
Chris most likely wears it as a counter to sensory defensiveness, a condition common among autistics, in which a normally harmless sensation directly triggers a fight-or-flight reaction.
Cosplaying Chris
Chris appeared in his Ash Ketchum costume from around 2000 to 2004. It was originally created as a Halloween costume in either 1998 or 1999.[2] He proudly wore it to The GAMe PLACe every week[3] and to the 2004 Anime Mid-Atlantic convention. With it, he won a costume contest against 5 kids dressed up as Team Rocket. The prize was a t-shirt.[4] For a while, he resurrected this look for his profile picture on The Hook Cafe and eventually evolved into the Gay Trucker.
The Ketchum-style trainer outfit consists of:
- Faux-denim vest
- Cut up gardening gloves
- Pokémon League ballcap
- Fanny-pack (Also known as a 'belly-bag' and a 'bum-bag' to Britfags)
The ensemble is usually accompanied by a yellow Pokémon tee-shirt, or white Sonic Heroes tee-shirt underneath (see gallery below).
Chris can no longer wear this costume due to his obscene girth.
HOT ROD 138, I c-ch-choose you~!
This is the most depressing thing ever seen by man kind.
- 501-100 0534 begin of the skype highlighting 501-100 0534 end of the skype highlighting.JPG
A sketch of the costume. It's so brilliant, its voluptuous lines and shading caresses your eyes like a sensual piece of chocolate dipped velvet...
Dat hat is a-pretty-a-goddamn dirty
Sauce
- ↑ Email from Chris posted in old PVCC thread 162
- ↑ A Week With Christian Chandler, page 2
- ↑ Mimms post on PVCC
- ↑ A Week With Christian Chandler, page 2
| Chris and... |
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