Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails
In the late summer of 2010, Clyde Cash and other trolls offered a series of bounties for various achievements in trolling Chris. One of the rewards: US$9,001 (GB£5,846 / €7,022 / Can$9,481 / ¥755,402 / MXN$116,320 / 2,000,000 strubls) for the destruction via blunt force trauma of Chris's PS3.
Chris discovered the announcement and apparently decided that he himself could pick up a piece of the action. The following communications reveal that it wasn't actually that simple. They also provide valuable background and context to the MovingFoward videos and Chris's filmed visit to Charlottesville Fashion Square on 31 August.
The e-mails reveal that Chris is once again claiming to have a girlfriend.
The E-mails
Chris's communications are on a blue background, while Clyde and Surfshack Tito's are on a red background.
| Hello, Clyde Sat, Aug 28, 2010 at 2:28 PM Let's Talk Business. As you are aware, I, myself am aware of the (REDACTED), and recently, I have mistakenly formatted my PS3 Hard Drive. I do have a Girlfriend now; I will not disclose her name, and she is aware of these factors as well. She has encouraged me to work for your Reward Offer. So, with the full intention of moving forward in life, I have destroyed my PS3 personally and video recorded it. I am not going to put it onto YouTube, Yet. I will be sending you the link to the video file I will be uploading to a Mega Upload site right after I finish typing this message. At the moment, even if you upload the video yourself, it can be considered YOUR Word Alone, possible Movie Editing and Actors, and NOT Fact. However, I am most willing and able to upload the video onto my own YouTube account personally. All I ask for me to actually Upload the Video onto my YouTube is the Full Reward, as posted on (REDACTED), of $9001 in Cash; NO check, NO Digital Transfer; Send me ALL of the Cash in a big, bubble-wrapped envelope via Snail-Mail. You have my good word that I will upload this same video onto my own YouTube right after I get the Cash. Also, should you upload the video before I get the money, I can and will create a Retractionary Statement to the video, AND blow things out of proportion. Considering the previous trusted conversation between me and Sarah was provided with your full authorization, I will thank you for that Peace of Mind event by Trusting You in Like. I would like to see the cash in my mailbox, followed by in my hands, within' this week, before September 4, 2010. Attached are three photos of the same PS3, Post-Damage for your preview. You, Sarah and Penny all have a good and safe day. Sincerely, |
| Another thing Sat, Aug 28, 2010 at 6:17 PM Later on, I've realized I could take it a step up, even though the Forum said "With a Brick", and I have finished the job with the rear tire of my car. You send me the Cash of $9001, and I will upload that video with the first one. One Week from Today. Christian W. Chandler. |
| I don't care if this goes up on YouTube or not, these videos are proof to me that you actually are redeemable. I'm surprised, but I'm still skeptical that it's finally destroyed. PS3s are surprisingly tough unlike the fragile POS PS2 and you aren't the strongest fish in the sea.
Once I can clearly see the innards of the PS3 being wrecked or it's in pieces, then we'll talk. Penny just said hi. Adorable. Let's pretend that was for you, alright? - Clyde |
| Fair Enough Sat, Aug 28, 2010 at 8:57 PM I have another video of its Final Destruction as well, but I will give you a preview with the attached Photos. Price of Admission for the Videos: the Reward of $9001 in Cash via Snail-Mail, as I have previously described. Note even the Slightest Bent Creases. Cheers, |
| I'm skeptical of you now. Why do you seem so willing to destroy your PS3? It used to mean everything to you. I have a strong feeling you're just trying to make me look like a fool. I don't believe any of this. I bet you just found a broken PS3 and passed it off as yours.
- Clyde |
| Sun, Aug 29, 2010 at 2:00 AM
I understand your skepticism, but I assure you, I destroyed my ONE 500GB, PS2 Backwards, Memory Card Slotted, 4 USB, Wi-Fied Playstation 3 I bought back on March 17, 2007. I have also made further sacrifices beforehand; I SOLD ALL of my Super Nintendo Games, and the Console, the Super Scope 6, the SNES Mouse, and Most of my NES Games to Snooky's Pawn Shop Earlier this month; call them up and ask for yourself. And I gave my NES back to my father for his enjoyment of Zelda 2, Castlequest and the few remaining NES games. I've traded in a NUMBER of my current console games as well. I cancelled my GameFly Account. I also sold a BUNCH of my CDs, DVDs and Blu-Ray videos. Also, I have Very Few Friends locally; I have NEVER dug through any dumpster or Garbage Can; and I could not and did not buy another PS3 anywhere. With the $9001 I have earned with my deed of Cleansing, I swear on the graves of my Aunt Corina Weston Inge, my dog, Patti, all of my relatives and past friends, ceased and living, hand on My Holy New International Version Bible right now, and on my own life, that I will absolve my debts with my father with half of it, and all of the rest will be used for the Bright Future ahead between me and my Sweetheart. And I swear, Hand still on the Bible, everything I have done yesterday, as I have told you are ALL True, and That PS3 which is Destroyed now was The One that was Mine Alone and no one else. I have the Video Footage, and I have given you the Samplings from the Deed; I need not prove myself further. The Destruction was as real as the tiresome humping with the tainted machine in that old video I was blackmailed into doing and record. I have endured the Pains of Loss, and the Healing of Cleansing; FREE of the Lonely and Anguished Soul that went into that machine the past three years from destroying that vessel. You have One Week to send the Legal, Unmarked $9001 Cash. And I do not think you want to be labeled a Man of No Word after the money you sent to the girl on the Forum. And I KNOW you want the Video Footage. You NEED the Video Footage. Peace, Christian W. Chandler. |
| Chris, it sounds to me you're lying with all this idiotic justification. Either you send me these so-called videos or you're a bullshit liar and this is over. You've lied way too many goddamn times in the past.
- Clyde |
| Fine! Sun, Aug 29, 2010 at 10:02 AM But I'd better see that Legal, Unmark, Non-consecutive $9001 CASH Within This Week, or the curse will still be on your head. NO Further Questions or Concerns! The files in one Zip Folder are being uploaded now, and you will receive the link shortly. Christian W. Chandler. |
| Alright, talk to my main-man Tito at (REDACTED). He deals with all the money transactions since that dealing with that crap is far beneath me. Have fun with your new life!
- Clyde |
| ALOHA LITTLE CUZ!
It's been like what, a few months after that whole Heather Incident? I knew you blocked me so I had to create this new email to talk about the $9,001 reward.
If you go to my thread and look really close, brudda, you would have noticed that there were some qualifications for being eligible for the reward. Since you're probably too busy with other things, I will recite the fine print. this little tiny line right under here was the qualification, and you missed it thinking it looked like my "--------" breaks You are only qualified for the reward if you have signed a contract agreement for Clyde Cash before entering the Trolling establishment. Reward qualifies for you to Pay tribute to Tito for Security Protection, along with forfeiting your white women for the black man in the pickle suit. You will not be qualified for the reward if you are Chris Chan.
And another thing little cuz, the reward money is for people who TROLL you. You can't troll yourself, so how can you collect the money?
Now if you were that cool trolling guy jenkinsjinkies The money would've been his seeing that he was closer to you. The Reward Was For Trolling You Did the Autobots ever give the Decepticons reward money because the decepticons stole their own energon? I think not, little cuz. Did you know that you destroyed the only ps3 with backwards compatibility? You smashed a $700 dollar console you fucking NAIVE IDIOT! That is the only console you could've got all of your money back & probably even more $$$. no other version of the console can do that.
As the Ancient Hawaiians Used to say: Just Because you can afford the modern long board, doesn't you can mean honor the moving water |
| Sun, Aug 29, 2010 at 7:12 PM
Look, I did the deed of Destroying my "PSTriple", WITH a Brick and then some; I Provided the Video and Photographic Footage; You did not specify Troll or Not in your Topic. And your Break Lines are ONLY Break Lines between each Topic of "Wanted" and "Rewards". And Your Superior, Clyde Cash himself, has given You Orders to Pay Me the Reward. It should not matter of the witness of Junior Jenkins. And Confidentially, I actually Met him in person, and we have a mutual understanding of each other. And as an individual in your game, I respect him as a person with a bright future in front of him. I have forgiven HIM for being a Troll. And I will also confide in you that I have made a Promise to God that after I have the Legal $9001 Cash in my hands, I swore to Forgive ALL of the Trolls, including You And Clyde; NO MORE CURSES or BEING CURSED. So just continue with carrying out your orders to send me the Full Cash Reward, and we can all move forward with our lives in peace. Thank you. |
| Ok fatty, Clyde really likes your video. He wants me to bend the rules.
Let's pick a dropoff point for the money. Meet me at: 243 Ridge McIntire Road at 2:00 PM tomorrow. An agent in a pickle suit will meet you there with $9001 in twenty dollar denominations. If you're not there at 2:00 pm I'm spending the money on hookers and blow. I don't care what Clyde says, I don't feel like giving a welfare sapping fat shit like you a bunch of money
Don't Be late. Your Troll |
| Sun, Aug 29, 2010 at 10:16 PM
I got it. I will be there. |
| Sun, Aug 29, 2010 at 10:46 PM
I will meet you there in front of the Staples of 243 Ridge McIntire Road, and NOT the store next door or anywhere else. I will be waiting in my car in a parking space in front of the Staples. No Negotiations. |
| Haha. Who do you think you are calling the shots?
Look, we're paying people to troll you. You can't troll yourself. I'm only even giving you this money because Clyde seems to think that killing your PS3 was improvement on your life. Don't test me, you are in no position to dictate terms to me fatty. Do you understand that? You are relying on my generosity fatso, do NOT test me. Ok, fine fatty, meet me in Fashion Square mall. In front of Chick-fil-A. 2:00 PM tomorrow. If you do not show up, I am taking this money to the nearest Hawaiian Brothel. Capiche? |
| Mon, Aug 30, 2010 at 12:41 AM
Chick-Fil-A at Fashion Square; 2:00 PM. I will be there. |
| Wait wait wait, hold the fucking phone.
I just had one of Clyde's asian technicians look at the video. They spotted an intact hard drive in the corner of one of the frames. You greasy fat weasel. You're saving the hard drive. No, you're not getting your money until we get video of you smashing the three hard drives you have. Forget using a Brick, it's clear that even the asian girl that smashed the ps3 had more strength than you. I'm sure that you were in so much distress when you destroyed your ps3, it must've felt like what a mother feels when she drowns a baby in a sink. You hold that much feeling for an object it makes me repulsed. I don't care how it gets destroyed, Bricked, Car, & knifed. Hell I would suggest you would do All 3 for this shit. And Clyde was going to give you this money because he thought you were improving. I don't even want to show him the evidence of you being a sneaky fat rat, little cuz. You owe him that much Listen here, I am the Hawaiian Joe Pesci to Clyde's Robert De Niro from Casino. I make sure what Clyde wants, Clyde Gets, and a naive Robotnik look-a-like such as yourself is going to get money from the boss. & don't even try to think you have any upper hand in the negotiations. May I remind that you weren't even eligible for the reward in the first place. you are in no position to dictate terms to me. I could be an total asshole and make you fulfill Jack Thadeus' deal to sing Okay 2 b gay correctly. Remember Jack's "black mail" that you so call it. Even at that time you thought you had any bargaining privileges. But I'm not going to unless if you goof up again But Right Now i'm feeling generous to give you 1 last chance. There was an Ancient Hawaiian saying: Fuck you, Tito Get me that video or you get nothing. P.S: Why the fuck are you apologizing to Sony Computer Entertainment of America? You treat a fucking corporation like it's god damned human being. Some CEO Big shot from Sony is probably viewing your video from his mansion viewing your antics like a boy views ants |
| Mon, Aug 30, 2010 at 6:20 AM
Enjoy the Destruction More. Chick-Fil-A at Fashion Square; 2:00 PM; TODAY. I will be waiting for the Cash for me and my Sweetheart's Future. Christian. |
| Mon, Aug 30, 2010 at 6:29 AM
to answer your question, there were a LOT of people who worked hard with the machines to construct the pieces, put them together, program and distribute the machine before I bought it. I am a man who Cares and Respects good people, and I did not want to dis them, so I made the statement. |
| What an awful, awful person you are. You're more concerned with the feelings of a faceless corporation that exists to squeeze money out of you than: your parents, your friends or the taxpayers who work hard to support your fat ass. And I'm sure this will all be pointless because you're going to get another PS3. |
| just talked to Junior, he said he never would've made any agreement with a welfare sapping naive retarded bastard such as yourself.
what are trying to pull to fatty? |
Chris attached all the Tito e-mails to a message to Clyde, and added this:
Mon, Aug 30, 2010 at 1:44 PM
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Mon, Aug 30, 2010 at 1:52 PM
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To Tito:
| Mon, Aug 30, 2010 at 1:58 PM
For your information, I would Not get another PS3, and I was at the Mall waiting for the cash from 1:30 to 2:10 PM. And after I read your e-mail, I went over and talked to Junior; he has NOT received any communication from you. AND even though he still has his anger against me, he and I still have a mutual understanding and agreements between each other. He told me that while he will continue to support your cause to bad-mouth me, he is cool with me getting my money, even though some of it came from his own tax dollars. Quit your damn Bitching and Redeem yourself by Giving me the $9001 Cash for my Console's Destruction. Christian W. Chandler. |
| Heh fatty, I just read that email that you sent to Clyde earlier. Clyde informed me to relay that he doesn't appreciate a shit stirring faggot like yourself trying to cause drama. Clyde left me in charge of disseminating this money to you. I control his finances. He empowered me to tell you to fuck off if you do anything funny.
You have to deal with me. Since we have a few picklemen working at Fashion Square, we can have one of them pay you. Meet our agent at the Starbucks at 2:00 PM. We'll be there, our agent should have a briefcase with the cash. Don't try to dictate terms to us. You either meet on our terms, or you don't get your money. Makes no difference to me. Actually, it'd be cool if you got cocky and gave me reason to tell you to fuck off. Then I'd take your money to a whorehouse. You may be a bigshot over at 14 branchland court but your tugboat don't float in our waters, little cuz. Your troll, |
| Mon, Aug 30, 2010 at 9:14 PM
I had the theory of tardiness, and I was uncertain. But I will give you one more chance. Today, Tuesday the 31st, as you said at the Fashion Square's Starbucks at 2:00 PM. I will be there. Please inform me how I will recognize your agent. Christian. |
| Look Buddy, you're giving ME one more chance, lard ass?
Tell me how many other people are lining up to give you $9,001. (there aren't). Giving you 1 dollar of that is a bad idea enough. You will recognize the agent that will give you the money, She'll have a pickle Tattoo right on her nice rack that is about as big as your man boobs, little cuz. |
| Mon, Aug 30, 2010 at 9:47 PM
I apologize for offending you with the comment. I will keep my eyes open for the female agent then; pickle tattoo on her breast. |
| Tue, Aug 31, 2010 at 3:44 PM
I was at the Starbucks in Fashion Square for over an hour, and come 2:00 PM and later; No Pickle-Breasted Woman showed up. I do not care for Wild Goose Chases, and my patience is wearing thin. Let's agree to have one of your Agents come to my house tomorrow afternoon to deliver the $9001 Cash at 2:00 PM; all she has to do is ring the doorbell, and I will answer. Sincerely, |
| You want more money? We gave you your money. We first went to the Starbucks inside the mall and we didn't see you. We saw some fat guy with big juggly hooters but no Christian Weston Chandler.
We thought you got mixed up and went to the wrong Starbucks, so we tried the other one and we found you. You had your medallion and your sapphire high school ring, so we knew it was the true and honest Chris-Chan. You looked like you lost some weight, congrats. Your Troll, |
| Tue, Aug 31, 2010 at 4:30 PM
Liar; you did not see me at all. Don't cheat your way out of this. |
| No, you fat shit, you're trying to rip us off. We saw you in your brown striped shirt with your sapphire high school ring. I talked to your wife with the big boobs. I know it was you because of the retarded voice, the sapphire ring and the medallion. |
Clyde sent this:
| You're going to have to beg, bitch.
You say you have some girlfriend. Prove it. What's her name? |
| Wed, Sep 1, 2010 at 9:53 AM
With due respect, I am NOT going to reveal her name, because I do not want you bastards pestering the hell out of her; she does not need it. And I am tired of your game of Goose-Chase; I KNOW you AND Tito are NOT going to give me even a half a Penny of any money, even after I've broken my one PS3 I paid 400 dollars for in 2007. You both want me to even Beg, you can go point at your own damn snouts and Oink like Eric Cartman, and then Rape yourselves with your own Damn Darth Maul Dual LightSabre. Fuck Off and Die, BOTH of you. |
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