Darkbind Sonichu

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Sonichu character
081-Darkbind.jpg
Darkbind Sonichu
Date of birth 16 May 1985 (in universe)
Gender Male
Length 5'4" (163 cm)
Weight 120 lbs (54 kg)
Species Sonichu (Electric Hedgehog Pokémon)
Type Dark (?)
Evolves from Sonee

Darkbind (born 16 May 1985[1]) is a Sonichu. Darkbind is yet another purple recolor (as if we hadn't had one purple recolor as it is) who's gay. The gayness of this recolor is even more justified by his faggy cape and especially his Sword of Fail.

His humble origins are of complete mystery. He was probably created by the same rainbow that all of Chris's stupid recolors spewed out of. However, that raises the question of why his girlfriend is a princess. Who the hell would find a random furfag that got shat out of a rainbow and proclaim it princess of anything?

In Sonichu #10, it is revealed that Zelina and Darkbind are both part of the British Monarchy. The most inbred branch, obviously.

According to the Sonichu Chronology, Zelina was put under the spell at age twelve and Darkbind at age thirteen. Considering that Darkbind was planning on proposing to her that night, either this was a childish declaration of love, or RuleCWC retains antiquated ideas on marriage.

When Darkbind isn't wasting time helping his creator fend off mall security, he's on a quest to find the seven Sonichu Balls so he can awaken his girlfriend. More so than most of the characters in the comic, he is apt to blurt out statements about balls. Given the sheer faggotry of his character design, is it really that surprising?

Things Darkbind rips off

Darkbind cannot be deprived of his balls.
  • Sonic
  • Pikachu
  • Magi-Chan (See second sentence in the first paragraph of this article.)
  • Darkwing Duck (The typeface for "Darkbind" is taken from the Darkwing Duck logo). His name is also two letters off from being Darkwing)
  • Link from The Legend of Zelda series (The sword as well as "Bind" possibly being used as another word for "Link". Darkbind even refers to himself as "the Link that will save Princess Zelina Rosechu").

However, it can be argued that Darkbind Sonichu is simply a complete ripoff of the purple-haired, sword-wielding Future Trunks from Dragon Ball Z.

Sources

  1. CWCipedia article on Sonichu (Yes, Sonichu, as not even Chris could be bothered to create an entire article for such a useless character.)

See Also

Template:Not Jerks