Jackie
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The Idea Guys were here.
Chris was brainwashed into believing that Jackie was from the Hyperdimension Neptunia universe and that she was real.[1]
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| “ | And you will be safe, as long as I do not talk about you at all online | ” |
| Every good show needs some foreshadowing | ||
| “ | Just accept that you won't be respected as an adult and that you won't be getting a girlfriend or sex... ever | ” |
| Jackie, telling it like it is | ||
| Jackie | |
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| Information | |
| Name | Jacklyn Romy |
| Date of Birth | 1987 (age 36-37) |
| Gender | Female |
| Nationality | American |
| Race | White |
| Occupation | Magazine editor |
Jacklyn "Jackie" Romy is a boyfriend-free girl troll whom Chris met on The HooK Café. She became his sweetheart from April-October 2010, and Chris made her many videos. According to one of Chris' leaked Facebook statuses in February 2012, he had resumed contact with her, before blocking her that April after several private videos Chris made for her were leaked onto the Internet. However, in May, he re-friended her on Facebook.
Jackie's Hook Cafe Profile (Username Luv2Jax)
Sexy sweetie looking for love
I'm a little shy about this, but here goes... I'm looking for a guy between about 26-30 (I like my guys a little older, just call me old fashioned I guess) who is tall, has an athletic build, straight teeth, and a good smile. I don't really care what you do so long as you're driven; I care more about a nice sense of style and outgoing personality. I want someone who doesn't need to be with someone but wants to because he knows how amazing it can be!
Things I like to do, let's see... I love to go biking, it'd be nice if you did too. I love to play golf as well. I like to go out afer work, go to dinner, cook dinner together (I LOVE to cook), spend the weekend at my family's cabin, travel, road trip and have sex. Lots and lots of sex. (not gonna lie!) Probably during some of the activities I just listed... I want that chemistry that is so strong, just a kiss can lead to wanting to have sex right then and there... I suppose you want to know a little about me, hm?
I'm 5'3", slender, I don't smoke (HATE it) but I drink once in a while. I graduated college last year and I work as an editor for a magazine. I love every day. I run in road races. Oh, and I shop. I shop a LOT. :) Most importantly, I want that special someone I can share my life with and start a family with.
If you're reading this and you feel like it describes you, I hope you'll email me back!
Characteristics
Gender: Woman
Current Status: Single
Looking for: Friends, Casual Dating, Long-term Relationship
Body Type: Slender, Petite, Curvy
Eyes: Hazel
Height: 5' 03"
Hair Type: Red
Age: 22
Seeks: Man for Dating, Man for Friendship
Profile
Education: College graduate
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Religion: Unitarian
Political Leanings: Independent, Kinky
Neighborhood: Charlottesville
City: Charlottesville
Occupation: Magazine Editor
Have Children: No
Want Children: Yes
Habits
Smoking: Never
Drinking: Sometimes
Drugs: Not interested
Personality
I get around town via: Car, Bycicle, Walk
My dietary preferences are: No red meat
I spend my free time: Reading, Sex, Creating, Working out, Watching movies, Shopping, Biking, Frisbee Golf
Funniest Thing: A monkey on roller skates
Deeper
If you could have a dinner party and invite any 4 people, dead or alive, who'd be coming? Wilt Chamberlain, Queen Elizabeth I, Leonardo Da Vinci and Liberace.
What's under your bed? My old Playstation... it's my guilty pleasure!
Two books that everybody should read are Of Mice and Men and the Great Gatsby.
Fill It
I'm an open-minded person, but bigotry is a deal-breaker.
Design your ideal mate: the brain of a Andy Warhol and the body of a Brad Pitt
People say my smile is my best feature.
The first section I turn to in the Hook is ... ask me...
The quickest way to my heart is good cooking The quickest way to my bed is strong, muscly arms' And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked basted
The last concert I attented was Crash Test Dummies
My favorite cartoon as a kid was Digimon
Dogwood is my favorite local festival.
I wouldn't sell my body for a billion dollars.
Christina Ricci is the celebrity I've been told I resemble.
P.F. Changs is my favorite restaurant.
In and Out
The Corner or Downtown Mall
Blockbuster or Sneak Reviews
Best Buy or Sidetracks
Wireless or Landline
Aristocrat or Grey Goose
Beatles or Stones
CD or MP3
Carmike or Vinegar Hill
Dogs or Cats
Summer or Winter
Kroger or Whole Food
PC or Mac
Wheel of Fortune or Grey's Anatomy
Steak or Salad
Steak or Sushi
Cavaliers or Redskins
Casket or Cremation
Fax or Email
Dyed or Natural
Pumps or Flats
Beach or Mountains
SUV or Sedan
First contact
- Main article: Jackie Emails
Jackie corresponded with Chris in a series of emails spanning from 5-21 April 2010. The exchange culminated in a rather disturbing video outlining Chris's knowledge of cunnilingus in lurid detail.
The relationship in full bloom
Main article: Jackie Chats
| “ | You and I have just reached the climax in our own intercourse, while these three dudes were jerkin' and watchin'. | ” |
| Chris, describing one of the scenes. | ||
By September 2010, Chris and Jackie had settled down into a friendly long-distance correspondence, as evidenced by their chats, which covered a range of topics featuring open and honest content. In September 2010, Jackie repeatedly asked Chris to draw very specific pictures of the two of them having sex. As Jackie had a gangbang fetish, she requested that Chris draw multiple men masturbating to the sight of Chris and Jackie having sex.[2] Chris repeatedly attempted to cop out of the deal by either drawing women or somehow concealing the male genitalia on their onlookers (at one point claiming that a puddle of semen counted as one man who had finished masturbating and left the scene). On May 6 2012, a fourth picture was released, this time showing the pair having sex in a pool as two pairs of feet look on. Jackie has an odd resemblance to Lois Griffin.
| The drawings, NSFW |
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A new dawn?
In early September 2010 his E-Mail exchange with Clyde and Tito suggests the possibility of a new sweetheart, but Chris refuses to reveal her name. Furthermore, he uploaded a ModNation character generically named 'Sweetheart', which was discussed to be another Chloe or Wallflower.
On 13 September 2010 Chris uploaded a video officially proclaiming his love to Jackie. Three days later, he produced a video capitalizing on Jackie's love for the Canadian band, Crash Test Dummies, while in blackface. Chris then spent October cosplaying as various characters from The Hamburglar to his own Chris-chan Sonichu thereby bringing the crazy to Ivy Saga levels (it must be the red hair).
Lars
Lars McNulty is Jackie's ex-boyfriend, whom Jackie left over his ridiculous obsession with model boats. He later distributed nudes of Jackie to a troll[3] and sent her a boat made of popsicle sticks, with a condom for a sail.[4] Egged on by Jackie, Chris developed an intense fixation on Lars and released a number of videos mocking and attacking his erstwhile rival.
Chris's first video addressing Lars appeared on 25 September, in which Chris proves who is the bigger and stronger man by smashing a model boat made of Lego. A second video appeared two days later, where Chris gloats over how Lars has lost Jackie, explains how he will fulfill her every desire, and warns Lars not to mess with her — or Chris will intervene. Three days after that, he continued to mock Lars's interest in boats and set to babbling about tape dispensers. (An extended version of this third video appeared on 2 October.)
Subsequent videos in the first two weeks of October addressed other subjects, but Chris returned his attention to Lars in a fourth video released in the wee hours of 15 October. There, a drunk Chris sported a do-rag and accused Lars of spreading the old rumor that he's a homo.
On 6 November, audio was released of a call between Lars and Chris.
Oops!... He Did It Again
| “ | We'll be very happy together. I know it. I will make you happy as much as possible. And when you're feeling down, I'll make you feel better. I love you. | ” |
| Chris, giving the Creepy Stare to his beloved. | ||
On 30 October 2010, an inebriated-looking Chris posted a video in which he pleads Jackie to stay with him. Since there had been no further Jackie-related videos and Chris had decided to quit the Internet again, it was assumed they had split up. The actual breakup happened a couple of days later when he stopped responding to Jackie's emails.
In November, new information about Jackie was released in the form of various chats and emails. These provided valuable context about Chris's activities online throughout the latter half of 2010. The email exchanges proved that yet again, Chris is unwilling to make any improvements to his life - even to get the china he so desperately craves.
Oops!... He Did It Yet Again
On 12 November 2011, the album SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD was leaked to the public; it was intriguing to many, because, while its main theme was Chris's Tomgirl lifestyle, adopted by him in early 2011, Jackie is also mentioned in various songs, and at the moment of its public release it was commonly thought that they weren't communicating with each other since November 2010. However, on 24 February 2012, TheCWCvilleLibrary released a number of videos from August 2011 that Chris made for Jackie. These included Cakefarts, Chris and Jackie's Date, Little Tomboy Blue, Who's Your Brony?, Forgot the Glitter, Teenage Dream and Cheerleader. While it was irrefutable proof that they were in contact back then, no correspondence between them was known to the public until 27 April 2013, when Chris's email from 5 August 2011 was posted on CWCki Forums, and 6 May 2013, when a whole set of emails was leaked there. Judging by them, Jackie resumed contact with him on 7 December 2010. The emails aren't later than 5 August 2011, however, leaked screencaps of his private Facebook posts from February 2012 reveal that he was still in some contact with her and hoping that they may get back together.
In the middle of April, Chris removed Jackie from his Friends on Facebook. The reason is unknown, though it has been speculated that it was the result of a flood of Tomgirl videos aimed at Jackie being leaked onto the Internet.
During May, however, Jackie got back on Chris' good side and was subsequently re-friended on the site, proving that Chris is terribly gullible when it comes to china. However, since then, she was never heard of again; this may be due to eventually finding out she was a troll.
Regret
Chris held onto Jackie's nudes several years after being trolled by her. In December 2017, he asked Idea Guy to analyze pictures of Jessica Quinn and Jackie to determine if they were legit or trolls, sending him lewds of the former and a nude of the latter. Idea Guy informed him that they were from the Hyperdimension Neptunia universe. Chris then regretted breaking up with Jackie, as this confirmed to him that she was real.
In the comic
When Chris resumed Sonichu in 2017, he decided to include events that had happened during the years-long hiatus which began in 2009. Jackie and a character she created in 2011 named Vulva Pie[5] are featured in Sonichu #12. In the story, Vulva has a fling with Robbie Sonichu in summer 2011, which is cut short when Jackie, her mother, dumps Chris and leaks the content she got from him, compelling them both to go "on the lam".
The Man in the Pickle Suit explained Vulva's name:
| We came up with the name "Vulva Pie" during Jackie and we didn't explain to Chris what it meant.[6]
He's too autistic to change it now. Her name is Vulva in his head, and while he's annoyed that trolls got him to name her that, it's too late now as far as he's concerned.[7] |
Sources
