Sonichu 0 Official Videobook

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On 10 and 11 September 2009, Chris uploaded the first of his official videobooks to counter Vivian Gee.

Episode 1

Transcript

'Ello, you should know me by now, this is Christian Weston Chandler here.

[Shows High School Ring, grabs Scrapbook]

And I'm sitin' here-behind the camera start up my own regime of audiobooks, the OFFICIAL audiobooks. [opens Scrapbook of Fail ] Vivian is a hack when it comes to these; so I'm gonna show you how it's really done. But- you know, just to make it clear, any names, persons illustrated in the comic books, except for me macysears [??], anyone, real or fictitious... are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic.

Anyway, lets begin [Holds up cover of Sonichu 0 ] The cover for Number Zero, the hand drawn premiere issue. 'Go Sonichu, go out and zap to the es-extreme' [Nasal Voice] 'I will! Thank you Father!'

[Puts down cover, turns page, jump cut] So, were just gonna keep on going with the page flipping at this point, so moving on.

[Narrates the first page]

DER-DER-DERRR-DDEERRR [Sings the Sonichu Theme]

[Chris proceeds to 'narrate' episode 1, failing to understand narration does not mean singing poorly and miming action noises. Despite the very verbose style of writing present, Chris glosses over most of the comic, describing only the text sections regarding himself or the final details of Sonichu and Rosechu's creation. Amusingly, his chooses to act out the characters, resulting in several very gay falsettos.]

Stay tuned for more zapping adventures of Sonichu!

Episode 2

Transcript

Episode 3

...AND FOR THE RECORD, HE LOVES VAGINAS! HE'S STRAIGHT

Transcript

Episode 3: The first battle encounter! Sonichu versus Naitsirhc! EEEHRGHHEEH, I'm from Team Rocket! And I'm... Naitsirhc, son of Giovanni! Team Rocket, Brighter than light! Surrender now, or prepare to fight! Release Rosey, now! Than we will fight! Zapdos, Go! I can't believe this, even after what happened... Earlier, when Kel ha- had to run some errands at cwcville mall, she allowed me to borrow -she allowed rosey to borrow her credit card..I had to make sure rosey didn't spend over 100 dollars- HEHAHAHEHAHA-- (cut) At first it was easy, due to her willpower, but then with all the sales and coupons-- (with a high pitched voice) HNM! 20 dollars for this lovely bracelet? Wait! 75% off? AWWRIGHT! Heh, well, I'm not superman- HEHAHAHAHAhaha- Ahh...thankfully we, thanky, thankfully Kel gave me cash for luuunch, but how was I know that the cheeseburger had pickles on it. Eh. Ueaah, that was that was great! What's wrong, sweetbolt? I-I HATE PICKLES! (with his Donald duck impression) THE BUM IS IN THE MIND HUHUHUHUHU- Pshhhhhiiiiu-- ugh! A Zapdos snatched my love! (Rosechu voice) HEEELP Which brings us up to date. Please excuse me while I save my sweetheart! SKY UPPERCUT! drill peck. MEGAA-KICK wing attack. DOUBLE TEAM! Oh-oh, I'm confused! HEHAHAHAHEHEha- Here comes the final blow! [awkward silence] PSHIU! AAAaaah! Oh! [spitting in the microphone and other random noises] Ey! I wouldn't miss out on this action! Return to me! Enjoy your victory now, hedgehog. But we will meet again! And when we do, I will capture you for my father and Team Rocket! Let's go, Raikou!

EEEEEEEY! Oh, sweetbolt, you are my hero! Thank you! I was astounded with how battled, Sonichu! You rock! Yes, Thank you, Sonichu! As mayor of the city of Cwcville, I congraduate you on your victory, and I thank you for saving the day. Good job, Sonichu. Thanks!

A little bit later, after the fight. Hnm. Well, Sonichu, I feel this comic is my best work yet! I think so too, pop! But wow, all this fantastic creative, and you are still a girlfriend-free? Eh, bothers me too. But I will never give up. I will find my sweetheart yet. Well, I gotta go back- I gotta go back to Charlottesville's mall to try again! Good luck! [Car noises] There he goes...with a grin on his face. In the end, he'll keep on saying one girlfriend, please. Because probably again, it will probably fail again, (unintelligible) to dang sine of the haze or whatever...But, he's so brave, I'm proud of him anyway. And for the record, HE LOVES VAGINAS! HE IS STRAIGHT! GET USED TO IT.

Sub Episode 1

Transcript

Differences between original comic and videobooks

  • 0:11-0:12: Chris calls his "Love Quest" a sweetheart search.
  • 0:25-0:53: Chris expands upon his hatred of his opponents - "Men. ARGH! Every last one of them! Taking all the women, leaving me with none to choose from! They're all jerks! I HATE ALL (mumbles) THIS TIME. Arrrgh. Back in the year 2005- I have a lighter opinion now at this current time when I upload this video... (meow?) Anyway. And those evil jerkops won't leave me alone either. I'm just a lonely, frustrated virgin looking for true love and honest trust with a good sw- woman to be my sweetheart, ALL RIGHT! Jeez, is that so much to ask?"
  • 2:24-2:29: Expands on the mecha-suited jerkop's attack - "Light missile! Missile coming out of my BUTT! Huhuhuhuhuh."
  • 2:30-2:32: Changes double team to "Double team, so it goes right through me!"
  • 4:15-4:27: Adds on an extra scene - "Stay tuned for more audio books! ...From the original creator and master! ...As they are official and true. And never buy the fakes. Peace out."