Lovely Weather
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"Just hear those sleigh bells jingling, |
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| Sleigh Ride[1] | ||
Lovely Weather is Chris's future wife, whom Chris traveled through the Time Void to rape, Revenge of the Nerds-style. Although many of Chris's real-life sweethearts have also made appearances in his comics, Lovely is as yet an entirely fictional creation, making Chris all the more pathetic.
Chris likes to sing "Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with Lovely Weather..." over and over. He thinks this is clever because "Lovely Weather" could be someone's name! Now it is. For the godless heathens among us who have never heard Christmas music before, the song is "Sleigh Ride", a holiday staple since the early 1950's.[2]
Overview
Lovely Weather can be seen in the comic in her present-day form, where she looks like a man in drag. Since Lovely Weather is a relatively new character in the Sonichu comic, with a first appearance in Sonichu #10, we can expect more "shenanigans" involving her in the future.
She stands as a bold statement of Christian's unrealistic expectations, as she has enormous jugs, wears a thong, enjoys very casual sex, and thinks even the most bland sentence is hilarious. In other words, his perfect woman appears to be a whore who's almost as retarded as he is.
Some speculate that her masculine proportions are a reference to Chris's desire for a sweetheart merely of the opposite gender. ("Gender" is a psychological phenomenon, which leaves the field wide open for MTF transsexuals.) As such, she could very well be a trans-woman. Others speculate that she has man shoulders because Chris can't draw.
Lovely and Chris are supposedly married by 2015. Considering the way things are going, it's doubtful he'll get married, or even laid, by then. We all know that the man is going to die a bachelor and a virgin with rage.
In his CWCipedia page devoted to her, Chris denies that Lovely Weather is not The Wallflower as a pseudonym. Given his past record of honesty, the claim is doubtful at best.
Chris and time travel
Chris is a hormone-addled goofball, so it's not likely that he has put any serious thought into the mechanics of time travel, its effects on causality, the wisdom of living one's life out of order, the morality of manipulating the progress of other people's lives, and so on. He simply sees the meeting with Lovely as a chance for his fictional avatar to get his rocks off. The implications that he has ignored are significant.
For instance, the comic book Chris now has direct knowledge of his personal future that will affect the decisions he makes as he progresses towards it - in fact, he takes time to set their "fated first date" before attacking 4-cent. Knowing that he will eventually marry Lovely might, paradoxically, incline him to decisions or result in events that will change the course of his life that produced that outcome. (Unless, of course, one subscribes to the belief that Chris's marriage with Lovely was foreordained, and his time travel jaunt was already one piece of the puzzle that lead to it.)
Likewise, he has interfered with the future lives of both Lovely and himself. The future Chris may have been aware of his past-self's encounter with his wife, but he may also have some explaining to do if Lovely ever works out that he wasn't the one she happened to sleep with that time.
There's also the fact that having sex with someone under false pretenses is, if not outright rape, then something pretty unpleasant at the very least. Whatever it might say about Chris's understanding of causality, his encounter with Lovely speaks volumes about his understanding of sex and relationships. He's perfectly happy to screw first, then meet and get to know her later.
Listen closely, and you can hear H.G. Wells and William Hartnell spinning in their graves.
Statutory rape?
Chris meets with Lovely Weather when he travels to the future. Although (according to Chris) he marries Lovely Weather in the future, when Chris meets her she believes that he is the Chris of his time and has sex with him. Chris at no point explains the situation or seems uncomfortable having sex with a person he's both never met and who believes he is someone else. In the mailbags, Chris explains that since she technically initiated the sex, despite being tricked about who it was, it both wasn't rape and was morally right and just.
Meg Griffin affair
In Sonichu #10, only pages after traveling to the future and raping Lovely Weather, Chris meets up with Meg Griffin of Family Guy fame. Chris asks her if Seth has permitted her to turn eighteen yet, but doesn't even wait for her to answer before making out[3] with her (with more presumably happening off-screen). Once again, Chris cheats on his significant others, even completely fictional ones.
She later reveals herself to be Silvana in disguise, which doesn't at all change the part of this that readers are latching on to.