Sandy Rosechu
| “ | Yay! This soft sand is fun! Thank you, daddy! | ” |
| Sandy, Sonichu 10 | ||
Sandy Rosechu is the daughter of Simonla Rosechu, with many of the same design elements, making her yet another kludge of a certain Chu. For whatever reason, she is able to harbor a desire for revenge and ninja-skills at a very young age, but she still has no discernible personality traits from the other Mary Sues (assuming that they have any).
Sonichu 10
In February 2010 Chris finally caved to pressure from Evan, and agreed to kill off Simonla. He fleshed out the original death page to reveal that Wild and Simonla had managed to shit out an egg together. It should be noted that Wild and Simonla were, as far as we know, never married, so Sandy is a bastard child. Moments later, Simonla is fatally wounded in a toilet explosion, and Wild sits on the egg ruminating about how much he and Simonla were looking forward to being parents, in an attempt to make readers care about the little blessing. Shortly after Simonla dies, the abomination hatches and asks where Mommy is. Ever sensitive and tactful, Magi-Chan promptly tells her that "Evan killed Mommy".
Sandy evolves into a rosechu in less than a week, and has the intelligence of a fourth-grader by the time Evan, Alec, Mao and Sean go to trial for killing Simonla. Naturally, all four are found guilty and are sentenced to be murdered in the most violent and bloody ways imaginable. Wild, responsible father that he is, encourages Sandy to brutally eviscerate Evan. Sandy does so, going as far as to mutilate Evan's genitals, right after displaying serial killer tendencies by taking Evan's glasses as a trophy. The duo round off this wholesome daddy/daughter bonding activity by delivering the killer blow together. If this wasn't fucked up enough, consider that Evan is technically Sandy's grandfather.
Prime taradox?
Magi-chan clearly states that Evan and his murderous kin will be tried and executed within the week. This accompanies a drawing of Sandy's obligatory rosey form, stating her age, bizarrely, as >1 years old. Plausible, if not logical. Then, Chris later depicts the evolved Sandy, at and age of <1 years old. Rationally, the executions would've been held months ago. Yet somehow, this evolved form is able to participate in the of the slaughter Asperpedia crew, leading to a few possibilities:
- The executions were postponed until Sandy was old enough to kill.
- There were several appeals made by Sean, probably regarding pot stickers.
- Chris is retarded.
Outside the comics
| “ | Sandy is pretty awesome, and not Simonla. | ” |
| Evan's response to Sandy, on his DeviantART account | ||
| “ | She kind of looks exactly like Simonla, but with like Lisa Simpson hair. | ” |
| Alec's response to Sandy, 9th Phonecall with Chris | ||
Sandy is basically a giant "Fuck you" to Evan, since she's little more than a smaller version of Simonla with a few cosmetic changes and an epic THIRST! FOR! BLOOD! Chris even goes into detail that Sandy is basically filling every single role Simonla did, becoming a construction worker, hanging out with Zapina and basically every single thing Simonla has ever been seen doing (which, fortunately, was very little).
Only time will tell if Sandy's existence leads to another lawsuit. Which is obviously going to happen, 110%.
Future
It remains to be seen if Sandy will be a recurring or regular character, or if she will never be heard from again, but if she becomes a recurrent character, Chris will find a way to pair her up with a sonee or a sonichu.
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This article, like Chris's pickle, is a bit small. You can help CWCki by expanding it. |