Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)

This article is about Chris's stupid imaginary twin sister. For Chris's stupid imaginary future daughter, see Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter).

For Chris's stupid imaginary twin brother, see Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc. For Chris's actual half-sister, see Carol Suzanne Chandler

Crystal in her human form.

Crystal Weston Chandler is the fictional twin sister of Christian Weston Chandler. Her role in his fantasy world stems from his long held desire to have a sister to play with, along with some narcissistic pleasure or even gender identity issue with seeing himself as an attractive female. Crystal represents one of the more embarrassing facets of Chris's mind. Since his notions of the perfect girlfriend, the perfect sister, and the perfect daughter so easily intersect, it is hard not to arrive at a conclusion involving incest.

Notice how the "girlfriend" in this pic looks like a crude version of Crystal, even down to the shirt. Freud would have a fucking field day with Chris.

He appears to have first created the character in 2004 as "Crystal the Female Twin" for his set of custom Yu-Gi-Oh! cards, although another of those cards depicts Crystal as "Girlfriend's Gift". In fiction, Crystal wears a Rosechu medallion correlating to Chris's Sonichu medallion and Reldnahc's Black Sonichu medallion; this is inconsistent (or is it?) with Chris's usual theme of Sonichu, Rosechu, and Blake representing the hero, lover, and villain. In real life, Chris created the Rosechu medallion for his future girlfriend, which begs the question of how he expected to adapt this into the comics when his sister was running around wearing the same bauble as his fiancée.

Crystal's origin is depicted in Sub-Episode 5, where she is made manifest by Chris employing his anchuent powers and Heart Torch of Fail to split into two (nearly) identical beings. Chris and Crystal wear the same outfits and even have the same super powers, although she lacks her brother's heterochromia. Throughout her appearances in the comics, characters are constantly noting how attractive she (and, by extension, Chris) is.

In 2007, Chris attempted to shock Encyclopedia Dramatica into submission by posting his own Rule 34 drawings, including one of himself fingerbanging a nude brunette woman. ED users immediately concluded this was Crystal, a charge which infuriated Chris and therefore became the conventional wisdom. By the time Chris successfully convinced anyone that it was really Megan Schroeder in the drawing, the notion that Chris wants to bang his imaginary twin sister had already stuck. Nonetheless, Megan stopped being friends with him because of the whole business, so Chris lost on both counts.

In the comic

Crystal's furfag form, Crystalina Rosechu. Also the only Sailor Soldier wearing sneakers.

She was first introduced to aid Chris during a battle with the W-M-Manajerk at the Mal-Wart Region. Chris was getting his ass kicked, and was nearly subdued, when he has a vision of his Cherokian ancestor. He reveals to Chris that his Heart Torch is able to summon his "dream sibling". Crystal has also helped Chris battle Bagget and the Change-Bot Crackder at the Get-Tar Region, as well as Mary Lee Walsh at the PVCC.

Being Chris's twin, her powers are very similar to his. She can transform into a Rosechu called Crystalina Rosechu. When she and Chris-Chan Sonichu are together, they are able to form Chris-Chan Pure, and are able to execute a powerful ultimate attack known as Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance.

Personality-wise, Crystal is a bland, stereotypical girl, who overindulges in girly stuff such as shopping and perfume. Her fashion sense is every bit as shitty as her twin brother, as she wears the same striped clown shirts and even has her own Rosechu medallion.

Crystal was trapped in Dark Mirror Hole by Mary Lee Walsh and Count Graduon in Sonichu 5. In an attempt to save Chris and Sailor Megtune from falling victim to the Mirror, she pushes them both out of the way, ending up becoming captive herself. She is currently still being held prisoner in the mirror, and has not yet been released. It is stated that gathering the seven Sonichu Balls would allow Crystal to escape the mirror. After her capture, a few token mentions have been made of her plight, but for the most part she has largely been forgotten, especially as Christian himself has been captured in the practically identical Time Void.

Sadly, with Chris ejecting everyone he created from his sweetheart search misadventures, the final fate of Crystal Weston Chandler will probably never be revealed.

External links

• CWC Sketch- Crystal