MySpace

File:ComicMyspace.jpg

Chris's accurate depiction of his MySpace - his only friend is Sonichu

Chris created a MySpace account to attract boyfriend-free girls during his 2003–2004 battle against Mary Lee Walsh. He seems to have created an account in early 2004. Chris had two accounts, presumably because he forgot the password to one of them. His first account was "sonichu," where his name was Chris. It was last accessed in October 2005. His new account was "sonichucwc," where his name was Chris Chan. This account got hacked by the Man in the Pickle Suit in the events of 11 September 2008 (NEVER FORGET). Chris abandoned MySpace altogether around this time.

Three archived snapshots of Chris's pages have been preserved. The first is of his "sonichu" account as it was frozen on 17 October 2005. It is reproduced below. It is brief, optimistic, and—for Chris—relatively inoffensive.

The second snapshot is of his "sonichucwc" account; Chris had last accessed it on 4 July 2008. We see that Chris treated his MySpace page the same way he treated his Sonichu website, adding more and more material over time until it became cluttered and bloated. This page is also reproduced below. It shows Chris in the immediate aftermath of rejection by Megan Schroeder, and the page is full of self-pity and desperation.

The third snapshot is of his "sonichucwc" account when it had been last accessed two months later, on 4 September 2008. This page is not reproduced in its entirety, but the few changes he had made since July are noted. In particular, Megan was no longer a "favorite gal-pal," but his mood was improved, and a lot of self-pitying language had been expunged. Also in evidence is his futile war with Encyclopedia Dramatica and the growing awareness of trolls to his existence.

Chris has not been back on the site ever since late 2009. In addition, almost all user-generated content was permanently deleted after a site redesign in 2013, leaving both of Chris's profiles practically blank, and a server migration in 2019 caused the remaining user generated content from before 2016 to be lost as well, leaving them completely blank. Then again, could one blame Chris for not wanting to go on something that was rapidly becoming an outdated corpse of its former self?

Some additional information is available, thanks to early research and hacks.

Because we have four versions of his sweetheart requirements, these have been grouped together to illustrate his changing mood over time. Chris was forever tweaking this, looking for the magic formula which would unlock a Boyfriend-Free Girl.

Chris, 17 October 2005

Basic Information

• 

"Zap to the Extreme!"

Male

26 years old

Ruckersville, Virginia

United States

Last Login: 10/17/2005

Chris's Interests

General: I enjoy drawing, listening to music, playing video games and TCG. I also like anime, legos, and I love my parents. I also enjoy web design. I have a Commodore 64 computer, NES, Game Boy, GB Color, GBA, GBA SP, SNES, Genesis/Sega CD/32-X, Game Gear, Sega Saturn, Sega Dreamcast, Nintendo 64, Nintendo Gamecube and a Nintendo DS. Gotta catch 'em all!

Music: I like all kinds of music, too many to list here...but I do like Daft Punk and music from the 90's.

Movies: I like a lot of different movies, but my all time favorite is Mary Poppins.

Television: Family Guy, old cartoons, old-time TV shows like I Love Lucy

Books: I used to read a lot of R.L. Stine's Goosebumps and Fear Street books.

Heroes: My mom, because she's so caring and such a great role model. Also, this little guy here: [image, presumably Sonichu]

Groups: Cities Of The Dead

Chris's Details

Status: Single

Here for: Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends

Orientation: Straight

Hometown: Richmond, VA

Body type: 5' 10" / Average

Ethnicity: White / Caucasian

Zodiac Sign: Pisces

Smoke / Drink: No / No

Children: Someday

Education: In college

Occupation: Student/Cartoonist

Chris's Schools

Piedmont Virginia Community College

Charlottesville, Virginia

Graduated: N/A

2001 to Present

Chris's Blurbs

About Me: I'm young at heart. I'm currently writing a comic book, and I've written quite a few issues so far. I am a bit shy, but I would enjoy the company of a beautiful girl who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I can, and I don't really like to be alone.

I graduated from high school on the Honor Roll, and I am doing very well at PVCC. A lot of men make false promises to their girlfriends, but I am totally different. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love. I think that (most) girls deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I haven't had the best of luck with girlfriends in my past. There was a lot of lying and backstabbing done to me, and I'm looking for someone who is honest and will love me for me.

Chris's Friends Comments

LiNnAy

Aug 26 2005 2:34 AM

Hey! Hows it goin? Nice stuff on here... havn't seen u around in awhile, hope everythings goin ok

--- Mara

Aug 25 2005 11:08 PM

Hey, thanks for the add! Does your Commodore 64 still work? My brother and I loved ours but it finally gave out some time while we were in high school. I think the neighbor's son broke it, but he never confessed! Hmm...

Chris Chan, 4 July 2008

Basic Information

"Serious, Honest Relationship with a Woman is desperately required for me."

[By 4 September 2008 this had been changed to: "If you think I'm handsome, and you see me in Charlottesville, VA, please let me know at that moment."]

Male

26 years old

RUCKERSVILLE, Virginia, United States

Last Login: 7/4/2008

Mood: blank

[4 September 2008: "Mood: calm"]

Chris Chan's Interests

General

I enjoy drawing, listening to music, playing video games and Pokemon or Yu-Gi-Oh card games. I also like anime, creating with Lego pieces, My Little Pony, Transformers, and I love my parents. And sometimes, I work on my website at http:sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm. As for my video game systems, I have a Commodore 64 computer, NES, Game Boy, GB Color, GBA, GBA SP, SNES, Genesis/Sega CD/32-X, Game Gear, Sega Saturn, Sega Dreamcast, Nintendo 64, PS2, PSP, Nintendo Gamecube and a Nintendo DS.

I would feel a lot better when a woman who is interested in me is the one who does the "Date Asking." In short, I feel that I really need a "Sadie Hawkins" situation.

[Image] My two favorite Ponies; Waterfire and Star Catcher. :)

[By 4 September 2008, he had deleted all images of ponies and indicated that most of his time nowadays was taken up playing Guitar Hero.]

Music

All types of music, as long as it has a good tune. :) But I Really Like Britney Spears (no matter what they all say)! My favorite song from "Air Britney" would be E-Mail My Heart. And, in comparison to my 3-year old situation; wishing, hoping and praying that a Boyfriend-Free Girl would Personally Approach My Heart. I have my own set of songs that I sing too. So, I, Christian Chandler, am Number 2 on my Top Favorite Singers List. 8-) I also like: Backstreet Boys, Puffy AmiYumi, Excel Girls, The Steel Angels, N*Sync, C&C Music Factory, Daft Punk, Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, Louis Armstrong, M2M, Hillary Duff, Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Christopher Cross, Vanessa Carlton, Monica, Mariah Carry, And Others.

Here's one of the songs I sang, Yellow is a Mellow Color

[link]

Please allow a few minutes for the song to load.

Download for free by going to my Sonichu Site, and right-clicking the link among the news links on the front page.

• Lyrics + Title copyrighted by Christian W. Chandler, August 20, 2003.

The music came from Sama de Amigo, Sega Dreamcast.

[By September he had deleted the link to this song.]

Movies

Favorite Movie, Mary Poppins.

Television

Sonic the Hedgehog, Sailor Moon, My Little Pony, Excel Saga, Transformers, Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, Red Skelton, Steel Angel Kurumi, Pretty Cure (Anime), Powerpuff Girls (Original Cartoon and "PPGZ Anime), Ren and Stimpy, Home Movies, Space Ghost Coast to Coast, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Robot Chicken, Fat Albert, Spongebob, Rugrats/All Grown Up, My Life As A Teenage Robot, Danger Mouse, Inuyasha, NOIR, Family Guy, American Dad, I Love Lucy, All In the Family, Sanford and Son, Bob Newhart, Mary Tyler Moore and others.

My Favorite Toons list goes back to the early 1980s.

Books

I used to read R.L. Stien's "Goosebumps," and "Fear Street." I sometimes still do.

Heroes

Sonic the Hedgehog, and my Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon, Sonichu. Check out my Sonichu Site at [address].

I would also like to mention The Sonichu Group is open for suggestions and comments.

But my mother is a real hero, because she cares for me a lot. And she is a great role model.

Groups

Nickelodeon and Nicktoons fans, ~Mary Poppins~, Official Single & Looking Group, My-Nintendo, pokemon Master, pokemon rules, Yugioh-King of Games, Yugioh Group

Chris Chan's Details

Status: Single

Here for: Serious Relationships

Orientation: Straight

Hometown: Ruckersville, Virginia

Body type: 5' 10" / Average

Ethnicity: White / Caucasian

Religion: Christian - other

Zodiac Sign: Pisces

Smoke / Drink: No / No

Children: Someday

Education: College graduate

Occupation: PVCC Graduate

Income: Less than $30,000

Chris Chan's Schools

University Of Virginia-Main Campus 2007 to Present

Charlottesville, VA

Graduated: N/A

Degree: None

Major: Waiting to be FOUND by a Boyfriend-Free Girl, who is willing to grow into a Sweeheart.

Clubs: The Sonichu Club, The Lonely Male Virgin.

[Chris accidentally posted the above school twice. By September 2008 he had deleted this self-pitying entry.]

Piedmont Virginia Community College 2000 to 2006

Charlottesville,Virginia

Graduated: 2006

Student status: Alumni

Degree: Bachelor's Degree

Major: Computer Aided Drafting and Design (CADD)

Clubs: none

Manchester High 1997 to 2000

Midlothian,Virginia

Graduated: 2000

Student status: Alumni

Degree: High School Diploma

Chris Chan's Companies

[Chris deleted this entire section by September 2008.]

The Game Place

Charlottesville, VA US

Volunteer Player/Pokemon Event Host.

On Temporary Hiatus

Artsy Gamer

Ruckersville, VA US

Game Player (Sometimes Online With DS, PSP or PS3)

Mi Casa

Current

Chris Chan's Blurbs

[By 4 September 2008, there was a new bold statement at the top of the page: "Chris Chan is destoyer of slanderous LULZ; take that, Encyclopedia Dramatica".]

About Me:

*Please be sure to read ALL of the "Who I'd Like to Meet" section.*

Heeeerrrreeee's...

Christian

Weston

Chandler

PLEASE NOTE, IF you, the single woman, are Honestly, Seriously Interested in starting a Sweetheart Relationship with me, ..Look Me Up In Person..; I do not feel comfortable with starting a relationship over-the-internet, period. As long as you live in or within 25 miles of Ruckersville, VA, that is the distance I feel most comfortable traveling to meet up with you.

I am young at heart, because I enjoy the seemingly child-like things I do like playing with Sonic the Hedgehog, Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon, Legos, My Little Pony, and drawing cartoonishly. I am also creator of my Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon, Sonichu. I have been drawing and writing comic books, and I've drawn/written quite a few issues so far. I have graduated from Manchester High School on the Honor Roll, and I have graduated from PVCC with two Computer Aided Drafting & Design Degrees May, 2006. I am shy, but I would really enjoy the company of a pretty girl who likes some of the things I do, with a few opposite traits (excluding smokers and drunks). I also like to have fun when I can, and I don't like to be alone. I would prefer Person-to-person encounters/chats instead of over the internet, but please feel free to send me a message or comments.

I would also like to mention The Sonichu Group is open for suggestions and comments. Thank You.

I would also like to take this moment to mention The DVD of my life: Christian Weston Chandler... Yep, I'm On T.V. :) You may learn more about it in my About The Author Section on my Sonichu Site.

Not to brag, but I took two seperate [sic] HTML classes, and then learned more around the net. I highly reccomend learning HTML. Although HTML word processors and Generators spells out the details of a page in a nutshell, it really helps to know the language so you can jazz it up more your way later (in the Notepad or in the Profile/Group Editor). Learning to Know is Past Cool!

I SO Need a Cute Girl to make into a Sweetheart-Soulmate from the ground-up, because I DO NOT WANT TO BE ALONE AND SAD in the Long-Run.

Also, did you know that male/female couples live longer than a single person; I heard it on the John Tesh Radio Show.

And I HAVE A DREAM... I dream that I will become a Good Father for my future, daughter, who I will lovingly name *Crystal*, alongside my future Sweetheart/Soulmate (my future wife/her mother). :)

[The three short paragraphs above had been deleted by September 2008.]

I would feel better when a woman who is interested in me is the one who does the "Date Asking." In short, I feel that I need a "Sadie Hawkins" situation. When getting my attention, please approach me and say Hi. Do NOT flirt from a distance; I will not be able to notice a long-distance flirt due to a thing called "Tunnel-Vision" (and High-Functional Autism). [Note: Chris set these last four words in a very small font size. By September he had deleted these last two sentences altogether.]

A lot of men make false promises to their girlfriends, but I am NOT among those JERKS. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love to my Sweetheart. I Feel that Girls/Women deserve the best of our world, and I would do my best to give what I can of it to my Sweetheart/Soulmate.

I have not had the best of luck with my search for a Sweetheart-Soulmate in my past. There was a lot of lying and backstabbing done to me, and I'm looking for someone who is honest, caring and will love me for who I am.

• 
• 

These are my attemtps so far for custom ponies. They both are the same, but they were each made differently. The one on the left was made first, sculpted from Crayola Model Magic, then I glued some of my own hair for its mane and tail. Then after learning some newer tricks from CustomPony.com, I did a better job with the newer Cheroki-Chan (shown on the right). For rooting new hair in the mane, and pushing the trimmed roots inward, I highly reccomend getting a rehairing/rerooting tool, like the custom one sold by plat_drgn on eBay (I got one, and I was very satisfied). As for Paint, I reccomend acrylic paint (over enamle) which you can get at your local Wal-Mart, as well as small-tipped brushes.

Also, check out my new group designed for the people who make their own Custom Ponies and those who like to look at them.

And on that note, I would like to give props to Adult Swim's Seth Green for his Custom Ponies of different emotional colors; good job.

[Embedded Adult Swim video]

[By September 2008, all this pony nonsense had been deleted, probably because he associated it with Megan too closely.]

I can be reached through the Playstation Network through the Playstation 3 game system. My PSN ID is ..Sonichu..; I am open for friend requests over the PSN, as well as possible live chat with Playstation Eye, or headset.

[In September he added: "**Also, I play Guitar Hero, if you get lucky in an online search in GHIII, GHAerosmith, or upcoming GHWT, you may be challenged my well-self-taught Guitar Skills.**

"My stats are linked to my profile on [address].

"(I am More often reachable through the Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable)"]

Also, if you have a Nintendo DS, and the right game, I'm Wi-Fi capable. Here's my info for: Animal Crossing Wild World

You have to regester my Friend Code for this game in order for you to come visit Cwcville, Virginia.

Name: Chris

Town: Cwcville

Friend Code: 0558-9666-5003

I've punched in a few already, but I'm open for more (female) players. Also, if anyone read the "Crossing Guardian" in Nintendo Power Volume 179 (May, 2004 issue), I was responsible for the "Cwcville" documentary that took up majority of that page. 8)

[Chris then provided contact information for playing Mario Kart, Tetris, Star Fox Command, and Mario VS. Donkey Kong with him.]

Please Message me if you have added me to your Friends List. Thank You.

[Image]

This is just Sonichu, Rosechu and me.

Favorite Gal-Pals :)

Chris's top friend on MySpace was "Chris's Future Sweetheart." Yes, he created a placeholder account for his top friend. He actually used this image.

• Pending Sweetheart/Soulmate

• Megan Schroeder - **No MySpace Profile**

• Anna McLerran

• Linnea

*My future Sweetheart/Soulmate's Profile will occupy the "Pending" Spot.

[By September 2008, Megan was gone. The four gal-pals were now "Pending Sweetheart/Soulmate," "Anna McLerran," "Linnea," and "open space."]

Comments

The following are the non-spam comments which have been archived. Much of this was the result of Chris hitting on local women. When browsing through this list, it's instructive to know that Chris was discovered by 4chan and SomethingAwful around 26-31 October 2007. The trolls swoop in quickly.

LiNnAy

Jul 1 2005 2:21 PM

hey christian! I just wanted to say hi! How are you ? Thanks for the cool soda thing it was neat!

---

Ella Jade

Jul 2 2005 8:50 PM

Christian, Hi, how are you doing? Thanks for the add! I hope that you have a good rest of the night:)

*Ella*

---

LiNnAy

Jul 13 2005 8:05 PM

hey! Whats goin on?? I just wanted to say hi, and thank you again for the nice birthday present! See you around.. Linnea

---

JaMee

Jul 30 2005 8:55 PM

Hey hows it going?

---

Samantha

Aug 3 2005 8:27 PM

Thanks for the add!! Looking forward to chatting sometime :)

---

Jeremy

Aug 26 2005 10:59 AM

what's up dude?? how's is going?

ay....macarena!!!!

jeremy

---

Escaping Ellsworth

Aug 31 2005 7:26 PM

hey hey!! What's up dude?! I read your profile and I just wanted you to know that Sonic is probably one of my favorite video games series ever. You seem like a cool guy. Listen to the music and let me know what you think. Later!!

Thompson Escaping Ellsworth

---

Lindsay Kaye

Sep 4 2005 8:27 PM

Good Luck on Tuesday Christian! I hope all goes well! Just keep in mind Good always conquers over evil! ;)

---

Rachel{Rayray Princess!}

Jan 2 2006 7:28 PM

ty 4 the add

---

Danielle

Feb 14 2006 2:58 PM

Happy Valentines Day!

Love,

-Danielle.

---

Sonic2 the Hedgehog

Feb 19 2006 6:50 PM

i wasent making fun of u. shadow is darth vader. sonic is obi juan. tails is luke. amy is the princess. knuckles is that black guy with the purple lightsaver. and if ur sonichu was there that would be awesome!

---

JesseBackwards

Feb 24 2006 1:54 PM

Happy Birthday!!! Have fun be safe and most of all eat alot of cake!

-Jessebackwards

---

Luis Zena

Aug 20 2006 10:47 PM

Thanks for the add now lets duel!

---

Charismatic ™

Aug 23 2006 11:04 AM

Hey there! I haven't seen you in a while. I hope all is well with you. I must apologize, I don't think I know any boyfriend-free, 18-24-year old, caring, smoke-free, non-alcholic, white girls around the Cville area. If I find any, I will send them your way!! :-)

---

GorillazAddict

Oct 4 2006 6:25 PM

Do you have a link to "Yellow Is A Mellow Color?" I like the song!

---

Leah

Nov 9 2006 1:14 PM

i'm a kid at heart as well!... is that you singing on your site??!

new music and website coming soon! appreciate the support...

smiles,leah

---

MARTHA

Nov 27 2006 6:12 PM

thanks for the add !! have a nice day:)

---

soup or salad? i eat children

Jul 21 2007 7:48 PM

If jesus was a serial killer you would be first

---

Helena Hell-Anna

Jul 22 2007 7:18 PM

I voted for your video! Good luck!

---

Raymunk

Oct 30 2007 11:23 AM

Hey chris how are you?

---

Parappa

Oct 31 2007 10:17 PM

Hi Chris! What's up? Are you still believing?! Cause I am! One day, you will get a girl like I got Sunny! You just gotta believe!

So I hear some jerks cheated you out of a contest? What's up with that, man : (?

---

Parappa

Nov 1 2007 5:05 PM

So what's your favorite boyfriend free actor?

---

(ﾟДﾟ)INTERNET SUPERSTAR

Nov 1 2007 7:42 PM

O DANG CHRIS I MYSELF ALSO WONDER WHY YOU DONT HAVE WIMMINZ!!

UR JUST LIKE ME BUT W/O TOURRETESS!!!

yah...someday me and you will get a sweetheart of our own...

---

Shelbumblebee

Jan 9 2008 7:11 PM

Hi Chris! How are you doing? :)

---

Brett

Jan 10 2008 2:07 PM

CHRIS CHAN! Thanks for the ADD!

Comment Back.

Zap to the extreme!

---

En Taro Adun, Tassadar!

Feb 25 2008 12:46 PM

Y halo thar

---

vanessa

Feb 26 2008 3:46 PM

Why you so Lonely ?? Its ok you can tell me

---

Psychoplasm

May 22 2008 4:53 PM

Thanks for the add, Chris.

---

jessi

Aug 10 2008 3:15 PM

hey chris, thanks for the add! i wish you the best of luck on your search for love! :D

---

Candystriped

Aug 11 2008 10:15 AM

Thanks for the add Chris!

---

Kino.

Aug 12 2008 8:05 AM

Good luck in your quest for a boyfriend free girlfriend Chris!

---

deathrape3000

Aug 13 2008 10:50 PM

I am certain you will find your sweetheart someday, Chris-Chan ^.^

---

Anna

Aug 14 2008 12:33 AM

Hi um... thank you so much for adding me! I'd be really happy if you messaged me... I'd like to chat!

Bye bye =^_^=

---

courtney coffin

Aug 15 2008 11:27 PM

thanks for the add. maybe i'll see you around in cville sometime

---

$$$HANNAH DOGG***

Aug 17 2008 3:12 AM

I put on my robe and wizard hat

---

Shock!

Aug 21 2008 9:45 PM

In defense to you and a tribute to your demolishing ED!!!

---

Candystriped

Aug 28 2008 10:13 PM

Hiya Chris, just saying hi. Nice work on the new issue of Sonichu!

---

Shock!

Aug 29 2008 2:16 AM

so Chris, do you allow friends and fans of the comic contribute ideas. I like your comic, and have some ideas of my own.

Hollar! I'm sure you would like these.

---

Kyonko Fanclub~

Aug 30 2008 1:43 AM

ur my hero chirs chan

---

Нико loves Magill ΩBoss CopΩ ON PROBATION BITCHES

Aug 30 2008 7:16 AM

It's an honour to be your buddeh, mon petit. <3

---

Coyote

Aug 31 2008 1:07 AM

Nevermind, guess I found it after all ^_^

And I made your ponysona, hes an Earth pony, Hope you like him xD

Who I'd like to meet

[This section went through several iterations, not surprising since Chris has never been satisfied with his list of sweetheart requirements for the entirety of his Love Quest. Here are four variants, ordered chronologically.]

October 2005

Someone with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, very pretty, 18-23-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, smoke-free, non-alcholoic, white and does not already have a Boyfriend.

I'll treat you to a soda and a chat!

October 2007

“Here's the list of the Characteristics of the girl/woman I would like (remember, I AM Flexable on most characteristics, and these ARE NOT REQUIREMENTS. But ONLY if it is Bold, then that is required).

-18-24-Years Old

-Boyfriend-Free

-White

-Within 20 Miles of Zip Code 22968

-Under 230 Pounds

-Smoke-Free

-Non-Alcoholic ("Socially Drinks" is also Acceptable)

-Caring

-Pretty

-Cute

-Default Language = English

-(Hopefully) a Virgin

(Fooly Cooly knowledge optional (I'm not talking about the Anime))

-Under or equal to 5' 10"

-Open-Minded

-Young at Heart

-Employment Optional

-Graduated from at least High School (College Attendant is Cool)

-Fun-Lovin'

-Sweet

-Charming

And that about covers that. Please also check the "I Wouldn't Feel Comfortable Around" Blog as well for the SOLID Turn-Offs.”

July 2008

In a Nutshell...

I have been searching for a Girl with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, pretty, 18-25-years old, BOYFRIEND-FREE lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, smoke-free, non-alcholoic and white, whom I can make into a Sweetheart/Soulmate from the ground-up, for the past enduringly greater than FOUR-LONG-YEARS

**You do not have to meet ALL the listed Characteristics; they ARE NOT REQUIREMENTS, and I am Flexable.

**And Please be sure to check my blog, "I wouldn't feel comfortable around..." for the qualities that would Turn Me Off.**

I am Very Easy to find in public; I usually wear my Sonichu Medallion.

I will treat you to a soda and a pleasant conversation. That is, if you will allow me the pleasure.

I would feel better when a woman who is interested in me is the one who does the "Date Asking." In short, I feel that I need a "Sadie Hawkins" situation.

Not all the twists and turns of my Autistic worked in my favor, but I don't let it get me down. I will keep on waitin' hopin' and prayin' till I find my Sweetheart.

September 2008

Someone with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, very pretty, 18-23-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, smoke-free, non-alcholoic, white and does not already have a Boyfriend.

I'll treat you to a soda and a chat!

Blog posts

The Hanna story

The exact date of this post is unknown, but it was sometime between 30 March and 2 April 2005.

One day in March, 2005, I now go to Fashion Square, on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, with my Nintendo DS, GBAVideos, GBAJukebox, my Sonichu Scrapbook, and I've brought up some courage to start saying "Hello" to the girls I find very pretty, and possibly Boyfriend-Free. Earlier this week, a girl, who shall remain nameless in this story, finally noticed and approached me. I was hoping for a moment like this. And she asked me to have a beverage with her and talk about things. I was very ESTATIC, and my SHATTERED Heart had a speedy recovery back to 100%; We had a nice "Mini-Date," I maintained Eye-Contact, I was very attentive, and I took notes about her. I thought she was very pretty, I enjoyed her charming wit, and I found her to be a very nice and lovely girl. But, later on, as I was figuring out steps for future dates, I learned from a couple of Gal-Pals, that I have previously made at the Shopping Center, that my new girlfriend was not serious; she was setting me up for a prank. I could not believe it at first, so I found and asked her myself. Unfortunately it was true. I was shocked, and my heart was re-shattered down to being 15% intact.

Lousy, Stupid, Jerkops!

21 July 2005 Current mood: rejected To those who are reading this, today, I was at the new Target store, across from Forest Lakes, just hanging around, not bothering anyone. And, from out of the blue, these two Manajerks asked me to leave, because they said that I was loitering; I was NOT! I was there hoping to find an 18-23-year old, Boyfriend-Free girl, like I usually do. Then, from out of the blue, after I told them off, they came back with two Jerkops! I was slightly intimidated, but mostly annoyed and ready to strike back on them. They asked me to leave, and never return. I did not want to leave. I would have left peacefully, in fact, I was ready to go, but I had one thing to say to them. And, during the middle of my speech, they chased me, pulled my pants, and pinned me to the floor. As I struggled, they handcuffed my wrists and legs, and they hog-tied me! Not only did I felt humilated from being the victim, but I was angry at them! Not only for handcuffing me, but once again thwarting my efforts in trying to find a Boyfriend-Free Girl. They drove me to the county jail, but fortunately, they did not keep me there; I was released to my family. But now I'll have to go to court in the future. So now, I feel very miseable, sad, lonely and rejected. One more thing... OUCH!”

I wouldn't feel comfortable around...

5 September 2006 Current mood: thoughtful **Note: While I truly appreciate the attention from the women who live out of state (Virginia) and those who show-off in front of an EyeToy... I'm sorry, but if we could not personally meet within 20 miles of 22968, it's a big no-go. It has come to my attentive mind that a few women who may be attracted to me are those of whom I would not feel comfortable around. So to avoid later confusion, here's a list of characteristics I would REALLY not feel comfortable around... -SMOKERS -REAL DRUNK ALCOHOLICS (Gone to "Moe's" often?) -Current/Previous Mothers (I support them fully, but I would not feel comfortable walking into a previously-made family; I would feel more comfortable starting fresh and having my own child(ren)). -Real Ugly Women. -Currently Over 230 pounds. -The low-functionally mentally-handicapped. -The seriously physically-deformed. -Autistic (high-functionally or otherwise)... Although I, myself, am High-Functionally Autistic, but that's beside the point. -Medium or Dark-Chocolate. -Police-Women. I apologize if I have touched any nerves that may cause sadness; I'm just being honest. But don't fret, if you fit under any of these conditions, you can still help me by spreading a good word about me among the 18-24-year old, Boyfriend-Free set. Thank you for your consideration. Have a nice day.

I like the African Americans as equals.

The exact date of this entry is unknown, but it was sometime between July and September 2008.

Current mood: calm I do not feel black people as "intolerable"; on the contrary I've had a few black friends growing up (mostly female). I like black people as equals among the worldwide population. I, myself, am part Cherokee, so I am likely to have a black ancestor among the tribe (it is uncertain in mine, and my father's (as he is the Cherokee parent of mine) knowledge, but I accept the theory). In short, I have no problems with black people. As for the worldwide MALE (all nations and colors) Population, I can tolerate male acquaintances, but due to the proven fact that ALL MEN have taken ALL the WOMEN, leaving me none visibly to choose from, I am not particularly fond of 99.999999999999996% of the fully Male population (with the margin of exceptions of the few male acquaintances I have, my father, the current US President, and the few respectable males. It is also proven that Majority of the Male Population are arrogant, ignorant of others' feelings and emotions, rarely give full thought to their actions before executing them, testosterone driven, more for danger than Peace. A lot of women will likely have the same feelings against the Males they encounter. Yet among all the women, they find the FEW among the males who are the opposite of the traits I have just listed, and they accept them for not only their potential husbands, but their True Emotional supporters and providers. I have grown up with MOSTLY Close Female Friends, so I understand the negatives, and I, as one of the few accepted among the women, reference one, Anna McLerran, who currently resides in Salt Lake City, Utah, she and I, we were very close, she accepted me, she feels comfortable around me, she is confident with me, she shares her emotions openly with me, and above all else, she emotionally supports me and loves me as a friend. Check among the females in the Manchester High School (Chesterfield County, Virginia) Class of 2000 roster; most of them remember me as an honest, good-hearted person. But in my current search for my Sweetheart, my God-and-Lord-Commanded Dream calls for a pure, pretty daughter, and she did [sic] appear unto me black. So to keep within the Godly rules of my dream, and I've been raised old-fashioned by my father, my Sweetheart has to be white. So, I reiterate, I am not prejudiced, I am only acting on the word of God my Lord, and I would feel terrible if I acted against that word.

The Sonichu Group

On 21 September 2006, Chris founded a MySpace group, "The Sonichu Group." He announced its opening on his Sonichu site with great fanfare, saying "ALL Sonichu Fans are Welcome to Join for FREE." He added, "Members of the Local Sonichu Fan Club of Charlottesville, Virginia are encouraged to join and post any suggestions for the group or CWC's Sonichu Site and whatever else, in this new MySpace Group."

The group homepage stated that "Sonichu Rocks!" Chris wrote, "This is IT, the Group dedicated to my electric-hedgehog Pokemon, Sonichu. You may post any and all nice comments about him, and empower his popularity." He issued the "First Offical Sonichu Group Bulliten" a day after its inauguration. He linked to his comics, and also took the opportunity to plug his dumb DVD. As with all of his other internet sites, he used the group to rage at Adam Stackhouse in August 2007.

Chris also opened a forum, starting with a "Suggestions" topic. As one might expect, the forum was moribund until suddenly it wasn't. By September 2008, familiar names like kawaiikitsune, PandaHalo, and Julie could be found among its members. The actual forum discussions appear to be lost, and Chris shortly moved on to other venues for hustling his hedgehogs.

Chandler's List

On 19 May 2009, Clyde Cash discovered three text files on Chris's site. One file is a list of Chris's MySpace friends, whom he classified as JERKS (males), smokers, drunks, "more to love" (fatties), etc. The other two files are correspondences with young ladies on MySpace who lived near Chris in 2005. The list is presented verbatim with added links and minor adjustments for formatting.

SonichuCWC's MySpace Friends (Mostly Female, unless noted as "JERK;" MEN, other than myself are JERKS) Currently 70 Friends ("()" around profile description means "Marked as Favorite(s)")

Chris's MySpace after the hacking

Name	Location	Age	Note
asa	Arlington, Alabama	25	JERK
\/\/hitney	Quinque, Virginia	18
Howard	Charlottesville, Virginia	31	JERK
TheBestKeptSecretYouHad	Louisa Co., Virginia	19	Taken
~*Tracy*~	Columbus, Ohio	25
Kristen	Charlottesville, Virginia	22
Mac	Charlottesville, Virginia	19
Sarah	Richmond, Virginia	20	Taken
...Them chickens is ash and I'm lotion (Akalei <3)	Charlottesville, Virginia	21	Taken
Kim	Charlottesville, Virginia	24
Lauren...SING U 2 SLEEP	Chesapeake, Virginia	21	"More to Love"
_Da/\/ieL	Roswell, New Mexico	17	JERK
Samantha	Orange, Virginia	19
UVA nurse (Hayley)	Raleigh, North Carolina	22
Escaping Ellsworth	South Chicago Suburbia, Illinois	??	JERK Band
Shelly	McGaheysville, Virginia	18
Heather	Burbank & New Orleans, California	35	Taken
*~KISS~*	Charlottesville, Virginia	21
Jessie Jo	Charlottesville, Virginia	24	Smoker
I lOVe yOu <3 iS thAt okAy	Charlottesville, Virginia	18
Nasty G	Richboro, Pennsylvania	??	JERK Band
Kristie	Charlottesville, Virginia	19
(**LiNnEa**	Charlottesville, Virginia	19	Taken)
Ashley	Charlottesville, virginia	19
Amanda	Orange, Virginia	20
Erika	Charlottesville, Virginia	21
(Lindsay	Charlottesville, Virginia	20)
sasa	Short Pump, Virginia	21	Smoker
(Jelena	Charlottesville, Virginia	20	No Interest)
Jade	Tampa, Florida	17
Leah	Los Angeles, California	??
Brooke	Crozet, Vriginia	19	Taken
Cate	Charlottesville, Virginia	22	Lesbian
(Ella	Charlottesville, Virginia	19	No Interest)
Randi	Charlottesville, Virginia	17	Mormon
Chad	Charlottesville, Virginia	23	JERK
Rachel	Charlottesville, Virginia	20
JaMee	Floyds Knobs, Indiana	18	Taken
(Green Day=Orgy (Anna)	Salt Lake City, Utah	20	Mormon)
Beth	Charlottesville, Virginia	19
(Timothy James	Salt Lake City, Utah	17	JERK)
*JUDY* aka the girlie	Charlottesville, Virginia	21	Taken
Courtney Jaye	Atlanta, Georgia	2?
Jessica	Charlottesville, Virginia	19
Maureen	Radford, Virginia	21
JesseBacKwards	Tri-Valley, California	??	JERK Band
lori	Charlottesville, Virginia	21
Aimee	Ruckersville, Virginia	25	Smoking Parent
(~*FreeStyle*~	Charlottesville, Virginia	21	JERK)
Jessika	Charlottesville, Virginia	19	No Intrest
Nora-Chan (*MIZZ NORA*)	Fort Wayne, Indiana	21	Taken
Mary	Barboursville, Alabama	16
sandy	Northern Cambria, Pennsylvania	24
I <3 ROCKSTARS (Becca)	Crozet, Virginia	18
Liz	Charlottesville, Virginia	24
Wild	Spokane, Alabama	24
(Britney Spears	Beverly Hills, California	23	Taken)
organized C h A o S	Charlottesville, Virginia	20
Sara	Oshkosh, Wisconsin	19
love...lost...heart (Melanie)	Ruckersville, Virginia	19
zack	Warren, Michigan	16	JERK
Pimpasaurus Sex	Yavin IV, Alabama	22	JERK
JustJen	Palm Springs, California	23	Taken
veronica	Baltimore, Maryland	19	Smoker
Ashley of Course	Charlottesville, Virginia	18
Jeremy	Waynerboro, Virginia	26	JERK
(Chris	Ruckersville, Virginia	23	Self)
adam	Albany, New York	18	JERK
Crystal	???, Nevada	18
Karen	New York, New York	24

Chris's MySpace Friends: (Mostly Female, unless noted as "JERK;" MEN, other than myself are JERKS)
**cwcson@gmail.com gmail.com pass: sonichu myspace.com pass: sonichu3
Currently 54 Friends [Note: the reason Chris adds "8" to some listings is unknown]

Name	Location	Age	Note
Julia	San Diego, California	26	Taken
asa	Arlington, Alabama	25	JERK	8
Emma Rocks!	Charlottesville, Virginia	23	Smoker
Howard	Charlottesville, Virginia	31	JERK
Meredith	Charlottesville, Virginia	21	Smoker
*New Addiction*	Charlottesville, Virginia	20
Simpleng Tao (Howie)	Charlottesville, Virginia	21	"More to Love"
~*Tracy*~	Columbus, Ohio	25	8
Kristen	Charlottesville, Virginia	22	8
*Molly	Charlottesville, Virginia	16	8
katie	Charlottesville, Virginia	20
Kim	Charlottesville, Virginia	24	8
Lauren...SING U 2 SLEEP	Chesapeake, Virginia	21	"More to Love"	8
_Da/\/ieL	Roswell, New Mexico	17	JERK	8
Escaping Ellsworth	South Chicago Suburbia, Illinois	??	JERK Band	8
Heather	Burbank & New Orleans, California	35	Taken	8
*~KISS~*	Charlottesville, Virginia	21	8
Jessie Jo	Charlottesville, Virginia	24	Smoker	8
Nasty G	Richboro, Pennsylvania	??	JERK Band	8
**LiNnEa**	Charlottesville, Virginia	19	Taken
Ashleigh	Charlottesville, Virginia	21
Amanda	Orange, Virginia	20	8
Erika	Charlottesville, Virginia	21	8
Lindsay	Charlottesville, Virginia	20	8
Jennifer	Charlottesville, Virginia	24
sasa	Short Pump, Virginia	21	Smoker	8
Jade	Tampa, Florida	17	8
Leah	Los Angeles, California	??	8
Cate	Charlottesville, Virginia	22	Lesbian	8
Laura	Charlottesville, Virginia	22
sarah p.	Charlottesville, Virginia	22
Randi	Charlottesville, Virginia	17	Mormon	8
Chad	Charlottesville, Virginia	23	JERK	8
Green Day=Orgy (Anna)	Salt Lake City, Utah	20
Maureen	Radford, Virginia	21	8
JesseBacKwards	Tri-Valley, California	??	JERK Band	8
lori	Charlottesville, Virginia	21	8
Aimee	Ruckersville, Virginia	25	Smoking Parent	8
Mary	Barboursville, Alabama	16	8
I <3 ROCKSTARS (Becca)	Crozet, Virginia	18
Liz	Charlottesville, Virginia	24	8
SonichuCWC	Ruckersville, Virginia	23	Self
organized C h A o S	Charlottesville, Virginia	20
Sara	Oshkosh, Wisconsin	19	8
zack	Warren, Michigan	16	JERK	8
anglhallz (Holly)	Charlottesville, Virginia	20
Pimpasaurus Sex	Yavin IV, Alabama	22	JERK	8
JustJen	Palm Springs, California	23	Taken	8
AMY	Houston, Texas	??	Taken
Ashley of Course	Charlottesville, Virginia	18	8
Jeremy	Waynerboro, Virginia	26	JERK
adam	Albany, New York	18	JERK	8
Crystal	???, Nevada	18	8
Karen	New York, New York	24	8

Gallery

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See also

• MySpace messages
• Dating profiles

External links

• Chris-chan's myspace of fail
• The Sonichu Group homepage