Difference between revisions of "Chris and work"
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{{ | {{quote|[...] comments that are truly of Good Intentions of self-improvement and constructive criticism, versus the truly Bad Intentions of spamming actual hate speech (Get A Job).|Chris considers "get a job" to be hate speech and commentary from [[enablers]] kissing his ass to be constructive criticism.}} | ||
[[Image:Heavylifting.jpg|thumb|right|[[Chris]] doing anything that doesn't revolve around [[daydreams|daydream]]ing over his [[Messiah complex#Jesus Reborn|fantasies]].]] | |||
Chris is infamous for his laziness and his dependence on his [[Borb|elderly parents]], which inhibits him from wanting to '''work'''. He briefly held [[Wendy's|one]] job – [[Cutco|two]] if pushing it – in his early 20s, but was unsurprisingly fired from them fairly quickly. | |||
[[ | |||
Despite his crippling [[debt]], Chris has vehemently refused to even attempt to obtain any kind of employment whatsoever, due to wanting to perpetually [[Chris and nostalgia|live like a child]] – a stance that has become so potent that he believes that suggesting it to him should be deemed as "hate speech".<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1194090568898494464</ref> | |||
Chris' | ==Reasons for Chris's refusal to work== | ||
===External factors=== | |||
== | ====Criminal record==== | ||
Chris, like many of us, has had as least one run in with the [[jerkop|police]]. However, not only has Chris managed at least 6 [[Chris and the law|"run-ins"]] with law enforcement, but at least 2 wobbler felony charges (which got [[28 October 2011|downgraded to misdemeanor]] status or got dismissed due to [[Autism disorder deferred disposition|an alternative sentencing program]]), multiple misdemeanors, an EPO, and [[Jail Saga|a lengthy stay in jail]] for a charge of [[Affair with Mother|incest]]. | |||
====Parental influence==== | |||
Chris's parents, but more so [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], had encouraged him to not be employed, believing that his [[Monthly Tugboat|Social Security Disability Insurance]] (SSDI) is all he really needs to support himself - a belief that ultimately proved to be false with the advent of the [[Financhu Crisis]]. | |||
Chris claimed that "taking care" of his parents is a full-time job in its own right<ref>[[April 2017 Facebook posts#Chris explains why he won't get a job]]</ref>. Instead of getting a job to support his [[Barb|mother]], he slowly started to sell off toys he didn't play with anymore, or begged for donations online (often in the form of videos that Barb also appeared in). This was not a substantial income, and the money Chris did get was wasted in the blink of an eye. He claimed to need money for his mother's doctor's and dentist appointments, but he usually would post a few days later that he had gotten a new toy or a video game, implying that he either lied about how much the appointments cost, or that he used his mother's money just for his own selfish needs. | |||
====Negative experiences with workers and [[Manajerks|managers]]==== | |||
While Chris has not lived a particularly good life unemployed, he also has had some [[List of places that have banned Chris|bad experiences]] with the employees and managers of several of the places he frequented, which further shows some of Chris's views on what it means to be employed. The way he has treated such people provides insight into Chris's delusional ideas about the role of an employee. It is a manager's duty to take action in difficult situations, like if a customer is loitering or causing a disturbance, two things that Chris has done many times in the past. Chris however, unaware of how he should act in public places, only saw such actions as a form of discrimination, solely to keep him from doing as he pleases, whether it be [[Love Quest|soliciting a girlfriend]], or [[Sonic Boom|vandalizing merchandise or property]]. These views are also apparent in some of his comics, where he depicts the employees and managers that have given him a hard time as [[manajerks|corrupt tyrants]] abusing their power. | |||
When Chris | When Chris had his only known job at Wendy's, he didn't get along with the restaurant's staff very well. He claimed his manager had a "spike on his shoulder" against him, and stated a female co-worker would repeatedly criticize and "insult" him, which in reality might have been her simply giving him constructive criticism. At one point, Chris decided to draw an unflattering picture of an older co-worker as a [[Pokémon]] on a napkin, which was allegedly the impetus behind his eventual firing from his job. | ||
==List of | Chris also has had negative experiences with [[jerkops|mall security guards]]. [[Chris and the law|Chris's run-ins with the law]] have never been pleasant, and even though Chris does not exactly view workers and law enforcement in the same light, law enforcers are still technically employed by some organization. On various occasions, Chris has been shown to [[26 December 2014|bolt out of a GameStop in fear]] when security is called, suggesting a fear of security guards, likely stemming from [[Chris and the law#2011|previous]] [[Charlottesville Fashion Square#Chris vs. Fashion Square|experiences]]. | ||
====Financial enablers==== | |||
{{Main|Enablers}} | |||
In the wake of the [[Idea Guys]], Chris's enabling has gone far beyond just his mother. Chris now has admiring fans that are willing to give him loads of money in order to support him. Even after being arrested, fans continued to send him money through his inmate account, as well as donating money to his livestreams when he was released from jail. This first became an issue in early 2014, when their [[14 Branchland Court|house]] burned down and his family had to move into a [[Rental House|rental home]] temporarily while it was being renovated. In response to this, followers of Chris began to send him monetary donations as well as care packages. This quickly became something Chris depended on, and he regularly begged for donations for years to come, making this form of enabling commonplace. He would often beg for money to support his family, and then conveniently have new toys visible in his room. However, this stream of income never ceased. | |||
===Internal factors=== | |||
====Egotism and delusions==== | |||
Chris, [[Messiah complex|believing he is an omnipotent and omniscient goddess]], doesn't have time for such frivolous things as working to make a living. In [[October 2017]], Chris claimed that he was too busy with [[CWCville]] and his [[imaginary friends]], in addition to helping Barb and the pets. In [[June 2019]], Chris claimed that he was already employed by God to oversee the Dimensional Merge. Additionally, ever since Chris's transition, he feels that finding a job runs the risk of being discriminated against for his [[Transgender|tomgirl gender]], despite the fact that discrimination on the basis of gender is illegal, especially as a result of a Supreme Court ruling on 15 June 2020. | |||
In a moment of self-awareness, Chris fears being incompetent at work, and he claimed in [[May 2018]] that he feared that weens and A-logs will harass him at work, similar to how they harassed the management of The End Games and Anytime Fitness into banning him. However, even those significantly more mentally ill or otherwise disabled can find work, meaning Chris can quickly find easy work if he really wanted to. This shows that Chris will pull any idea out of his ass to avoid having to get off of it and contribute to society. | |||
====Lack of marketable skills==== | |||
As evidenced by his resume and lack of education, Chris lacks any marketable skills or qualifications to get anything beyond a minimum wage job in the retail or fast food industry. Given his aforementioned lofty goals for salary and demanding things like having an assistant, Chris grossly overestimates what kind of a job one can find with [[CADD|an outdated Associate's degree]] and a brief employment at Wendy's. | |||
====General laziness==== | |||
Chris, being as lazy as he is, would find trouble keeping a job for long due to this laziness. This is evidenced by his brief stint as a Wendy's employee, in which he is quoted as taking "frequent breaks" and not taking care of his uniform<ref>[[Jackie Chat 4]]</ref>. | |||
When creating [[Sonichu (comic)|his magnum opus]], Chris had no schedule set in stone, only taking time to write and draw pages when he had "inspiration". Arguably his most productive period was between [[Sonichu 7|2007]] and [[Sonichu 10|2010]] when he started to achieve online infamy and constantly fell for trolling schemes. Even then, these volumes took anywhere from several months to over a ''year'' before getting completed. Not to mention that Chris pretty much [[Chris and writing#Plot and Drama|wrote every ''Sonichu'' issue by the seat of his pants with minimal regard for consistency]] (and of course, writing is [[Chris and art#Visual style and most artistic fundamentals|not the only place where he fails at that]]), resulting in the self-insert fanfic clusterfuck we've known and loved since the late 2000s. | |||
==Past stance on employment== | |||
In the past, Chris showed some degree of interest in pursuing a career, but only for his own personal gain, rather than so that he can move out of his parents' house and obtain a degree of self-sufficiency. For example, although he expressed an interest in becoming a comic book artist, working for either Archie or DC,<ref>Chris's resume</ref>, he also stated, when he completes his Love Quest, that he would stay at home while his wife works, showing that Chris was somewhat hesitant even before then. Other sources point to Chris believing that obtaining a job is only necessary to pick up a girlfriend, which is evident when he decided to take up a job in [[Cutco Cutlery]] at the beginning of his [[Love Quest]]. | |||
Key insight into Chris's attitude towards job hunting is found in his [[resume]] from 2009. In it, Chris shows he did not understand what constitutes work experience, let alone its importance. For example, he believes that doing "volunteer work" for the [[Card games|Pokémon Leagues]] at [[the GAMe PLACe]] counts as work experience. In reality, mere "volunteer work" does not typically catch the eye of most employers. Also, Chris was not a gym leader as he claimed, but rather was a substitute when the actual Gym Leader was not available. Finally, even if this could be taken into account, what experience he obtained is likely negligible, as he had no authority over the players, and was, in fact, carefully supervised by the staff. In the same résumé, he cites his production of comics as work experience, despite not doing this in a professional setting, and the product itself leaving a lot to be desired. | |||
The résumé also shows that, in his entire adult life, not even a fraction of his time was spent on an actual job, let alone one that was full-time in a professional environment. Counting all of the positions he had that did not involve being a Gym Leader's Assistant or working on his ''Sonichu'' comics, his total work experience amounts to a grand total of 5 months, at most. This estimate is generous because, while he claimed to have worked at Wendy's for 2 months on his résumé, he also claimed that he was already fired on [[Twin Falling Towers|11 September]] to [[Kacey]]'s father. Please note that this was only across an entire two-year gap between working each of the two positions he held. | |||
==List of jobs on Dimension 1218== | |||
===Wendy's=== | ===Wendy's=== | ||
{{Main|Wendy's}} | {{Main|Wendy's}} | ||
The first place Chris attempted to work at was at his local Wendy's. While there, his primary duties were custodial | The first place Chris attempted to work at was at his local Wendy's. While there, his primary duties were custodial in nature rather than food preparation or direct customer interaction. Despite painting himself as an employee that "serves the customers with kind, understanding help", accounts from employers and customers have shown him to be a rude and difficult employee to work with. Chris was later fired from the restaurant, giving vague and contradictory answers about his dismissal; the motive for his dismissal was either the aforementioned Pokémon caricature incident, or a time he allegedly frightened a kid to tears with his [[Donald Duck impression]]. | ||
===Cutco Cutlery=== | ===Cutco Cutlery=== | ||
{{Main|Cutco | {{Main|Cutco}} | ||
The second and final job that Chris claims to have worked was through Cutco Cutlery, a multi-level marketing company that primarily sells overpriced knives. The company itself is deemed to be a notorious pyramid scheme and borderline scam that generally targets high school students, college students, and gullible idiots like Chris with no work experience. Chris claims to have lost this job after his boss "left at summer's end". Chris had obtained this job during the beginning of his Love Quest, which also showcases that Chris believed getting a job is only for people who want to have a girlfriend, even believing that having the job just magically improved his social skills. This job alone, believe it or not, was what made him believe himself to be a "Natural Salesperson". After this job, Chris would go out of his way to produce his [[Attraction Sign]]s, and advertise this one quality in it. | |||
Besides Wendy's and Cutco, Chris has attempted to apply for a handful of other jobs, and | ===Other employers=== | ||
Besides Wendy's and Cutco, Chris has attempted to apply for a handful of other jobs, to no avail, probably due to him complaining about trolls on his resume and believing he had held positions he considered signified employment, but was actually community service at the very most. | |||
==Current | ==Current stance on employment== | ||
{{quote|Therefore, for all of you Haterade-Chugging “GET A JOB!” spouters out there, I suggest you Shut Up and enjoy your ability to settle in a cozy Office or wherever. For the rest of us, the worlds and the dimensions are our Offices, and we are doing our best, so we can reach our respective Fated Destined Promotions. But, I Digress.|Chris [[Chris and reality|claiming he's already employed in an alternate dimension]]}} | |||
Considering how trolls, weens, enablers, and, quite frankly, [[Honest Content|Chris himself]] have completely mangled and destroyed his background check over the years, it is little wonder why he has lost any hope of obtaining a job. Chris even stated he was fully aware of this in a Facebook post he made on 3 [[April 2017]]. In the same post, however, he also claims that he would still refuse to obtain a job, even without all of the crazy shit that has happened in his life. He claims to fear the possibility of being discriminated against for being autistic, transgender, and having a lesbian soul. In the modern workforce, however, this misgiving is highly unjustified, as any kind of discrimination based on gender, disability or sex is usually frowned upon in the workforce, and leaves the employer liable for legal action or federal/state sanctions/fines. Besides the former two reasons, Chris claimed that gaining employment would be redundant, as he believes taking care of his aging parents actually counts as employment, despite not being paid for it. | |||
===Job as a Goddess=== | ===Job as a Goddess=== | ||
Chris now appears to believe that his true occupation at the moment is being the goddess of an alternate dimension, thanks to the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], [[Jacob Sockness]] and several other influences. In the span of two years after the aforementioned Facebook post, Chris would state on at least two occasions that he believes that the ability to support himself financially by working a job is completely useless. As a matter of fact, in one of these occasions, he had actually stated that he is far too enlightened and above societal expectations to obtain | Chris now appears to believe that his true occupation at the moment is being the goddess of an alternate dimension, thanks to the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], [[Jacob Sockness]] and several other influences. In the span of two years after the aforementioned Facebook post, Chris would state on at least two occasions that he believes that the ability to support himself financially by working a job is completely useless.<ref>[[October 2018 social media posts#Response to "GET A JOB"]]</ref><ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Chris claims to be employed overseeing Dimensional Merge]]</ref> As a matter of fact, in one of these occasions, he had actually stated that he is far too enlightened and above societal expectations to obtain an actual job, simply due to an absurd comparison he makes between the amount of time the universe will exist for against how much time he would work at a job.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210208080437/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1049442246116790272</ref> As evident in the same post, as well as in a subsequent one, he actually believes that obtaining a job should not be mandatory, and even goes so far as to state that the citizens of [[CWCville]] are not required to obtain a job. | ||
===Can Chris get a (real-life) job now?=== | |||
Many observers have admitted that it is too late for Chris to get a job now,<ref>Law-Talking Guy (28 February 2020). [https://archive.md/7GWGx Re: What will happen when Barb dies?]. ''Kiwi Farms''. Retrieved 17 July 2020.</ref> and this was long before his [[Jail Saga|arrest]] for engaging in [[Affair with Mother|incestuous acts with his mother]] permanently crippled his chances. In addition to his various [[Chris and the law|run-ins with the law]] and his local reputation for [[List of places that have banned Chris|public tantrums and violence]], Chris is {{age|1982|02|24}} years old with only [[Wendy's|one bad month of minimum-wage employment]] back in 2001, a worthless [[CADD]] certificate,<ref>The [[CADD]] certificate is worthless, because, in addition to the fallout between Chris and [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], he only produced two menial pieces of work, and has not continued to develop his CADD skills after getting the certificate.</ref> a very brief {{w|multi-level marketing}} [[Cutco|stint]], and over a decade and a half's worth of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|unsavory information]] about him on the internet.<ref>Bombsaway (18 December 2019). [https://archive.md/VUWuy Re: What will happen when Barb dies?]. ''Kiwi Farms''. Retrieved 19 December 2019.</ref> Chris has also not applied for a job since [[Kacey Call 21|September 2009]], and his [[:File:Scan0001.jpg|Sonichu-laden]] resume is both long out-of-date and unimpressive even for the standards of when it was made. | |||
While Chris's court case ultimately ended with the entire thing being [[Autism Deferral|dismissed]] — thus, letting him escape without a felony charge or being placed on the Sex Offender Registry — it's still likely this will be the final death blow to any sort of chance of him finding work in the future. Even if Chris ''does'' manage to miraculously turn his life around and get a legitimate job, there is a very, very significant chance that obsessive [[weening|weens]] and [[A-Logging|A-Logs]] will harass his employer(s) into terminating him as soon as they get wind of it; similar to how they harassed the management of [[The End Games]] and [[Anytime Fitness]] into [[ban|banning]] Chris simply because he was there.<ref name=harassment>[[May 2018 social media posts#A new excuse not to get a job|May 2018 social media posts § A new excuse not to get a job]]</ref> | |||
In short, Chris's claims that he can never get a job may be valid, albeit for different reasons to what he has in mind. Nearly all employers are unwilling to tolerate any person with that kind of background, especially with what we know now. | |||
==Chores== | ==Chores== | ||
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{{quote|I work hard for my father in his garden! I pulled weeds! Those weeds are very hard to pull!|Chris, [[Father_Call#Maturity_and_Chores_.2839:17-48:08.29|telling a former U.S. Marine]] about the "heavy burdens" in his life}} | {{quote|I work hard for my father in his garden! I pulled weeds! Those weeds are very hard to pull!|Chris, [[Father_Call#Maturity_and_Chores_.2839:17-48:08.29|telling a former U.S. Marine]] about the "heavy burdens" in his life}} | ||
Aside from a few part-time jobs which he got fired | Aside from a few part-time jobs, from which he got fired shortly after being accepted, Chris, during his time on 14 Branchland Ct, was also responsible for doing certain '''chores''' around the household. To him, chores are menial tasks that [[Barb]] forces him to perform for her. Since these chores are the closest thing in Chris's life resembling actual work, and one of the few things taking him away from his [[video games]], [[Chris and reality|going into deep thought about other dimensions]] and attending [[BronyCon]], they are a frequent source of [[stress]] and complaining for Chris. On the other hand, Chris also sees these chores as nothing more than to prove that he is not lazy, in which case he believes these chores are a good example of what a hard-working, respectable, [[autism|high-functioning autistic]] he really is. | ||
===Chris loves chores=== | ===Chris loves chores=== | ||
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Chris's most notorious mention of his chores is in the [[Father Call]], where he desperately tries to prove his worthiness to [[Matthew Devoria]] by listing some of the "hard work" he has done around the house, such as sitting on a riding lawnmower, moving chairs and carrying a [[Patti Chandler|doghouse]] across the yard. In fact, many of the "chores" he whines about are things he only did literally one time. He also compares his pulling weeds in the "hot, hot sun" to war veteran Matt's time served in the Gulf War. | Chris's most notorious mention of his chores is in the [[Father Call]], where he desperately tries to prove his worthiness to [[Matthew Devoria]] by listing some of the "hard work" he has done around the house, such as sitting on a riding lawnmower, moving chairs and carrying a [[Patti Chandler|doghouse]] across the yard. In fact, many of the "chores" he whines about are things he only did literally one time. He also compares his pulling weeds in the "hot, hot sun" to war veteran Matt's time served in the Gulf War. | ||
Chris | Chris does not limit himself to only doing chores in real life. He also enjoys spending hours upon hours performing virtual chores in ''[[Animal Crossing Documentary|Animal Crossing]]''. These are his favorite chores to do, because not only is he able to sit on his fat ass all day while tapping at his controller, he is also rewarded for performing these tasks! As fun as this sounds, by his early 30s it seems to just be another part of Chris's daily routine, at one point telling [[Julie]] that he had to take a break from his computer to "get [his] chores done in ACCityFolk".<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 6]]</ref> He eventually stopped doing these chores all together after his GameCube disintegrated in the [[2014]] [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]]. | ||
In Chris's other favorite fictional world, [[CWCville]], [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] also does his share of the housework, as Chris elaborately explained in [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21 his CWCipedia bio]. Between fighting evil-doers and saving the world from homosexuality, he even finds time to mow the lawn with his loyal wife [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]]. After the kids have been sent off to school, Sonichu and Rosechu go out and vacuum to the extreme!<ref>[[A Sonichu Day]]</ref> Chris, on the other hand, is far too busy with his [[Sub-Episodes|mayoral duties]] to worry about chores, so instead he makes his secretary, [[Allison Amber]], do all of the work. | In Chris's other favorite fictional world, [[CWCville]], [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] also does his share of the housework, as Chris elaborately explained in [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21 his CWCipedia bio]. Between fighting evil-doers and saving the world from homosexuality, he even finds time to mow the lawn with his loyal wife [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]]. After the kids have been sent off to school, Sonichu and Rosechu go out and vacuum to the extreme!<ref>[[A Sonichu Day]]</ref> Chris, on the other hand, is far too busy with his [[Sub-Episodes|mayoral duties]] to worry about chores, so instead he makes his secretary, [[Allison Amber]], do all of the work. | ||
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[[Image:Chrisgarden.jpg|thumb|right|Chris tries convincing his dead dog to finish his yardwork for him.]] | [[Image:Chrisgarden.jpg|thumb|right|Chris tries convincing his dead dog to finish his yardwork for him.]] | ||
Chris spends a lot of time trying to avoid doing what he is so proud of. Barbara constantly | Chris spends a lot of time trying to avoid doing what he is so proud of. Barbara constantly got Chris to do things for her. This sometimes dragged him away from his [[Chris and the Internet|friends]], [[Sweetheart|love life]] and [[Sonic Boom Protests|other business]]. He has also hidden out at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|the mall]] for hours, just so his mother's demands that he do a "hefty chore" wouldn't disrupt his [[Chris and art|creative genius]].<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3]]</ref> | ||
He also | He also blamed Barb for the Chandler household being so messy in the first place. His usual go-to excuse for the state of the house was to call her a "pack rat", even having the balls to [[Chris and hypocrisy|call her lazy]] for not cleaning anything up. Barbara apparently left junk lying all over the house, but Chris would rather go days [[HairDifference|without showering]] than figure out how to move some of Barbara's junk to another room, claiming he "doesn't know what to do" with any of it. His room itself was extremely messy, with it being filled with thousands of [[Lego]]s and toys that he refused to throw out. | ||
Chris's parents also | Chris's parents also made him pay the family's bills, possibly as an attempt to make him feel like a real adult. Chris, of course, complained about having to give up a large percentage of his "[[tugboat]]" for these bills. He put off paying them for as long as possible so he could use his hard-earned money for [[Sex toys|more important necessities]]. In one of her [[Mumble_2#People_Love_Poketunes|rare Mumble appearances]], Chris lied to Barbara about paying the bills for that month, at first whining that he was being "[[Honest Content|honest]]", but eventually gave in to the fear of being punished by his mother and admitted he did not pay ALL of them. But, he will "be sure to pay the remaining differences next month"! | ||
{{quote|I move stuff around, I take the vacuum cleaner, I vacuum, I scrub the floors [[ShowerClean|with 409 and paper towels]]. It's really hard work. Back-breaking!|[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Chris explains why he hasn't had time to work on his comic]]}} | {{quote|I move stuff around, I take the vacuum cleaner, I vacuum, I scrub the floors [[ShowerClean|with 409 and paper towels]]. It's really hard work. Back-breaking!|[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Chris explains why he hasn't had time to work on his comic]]}} | ||
In 2020, Chris said that he and Barb both did equal amounts of chores, despite Barb being aged nearly 80.<ref>[[Discord Q&A 11]]</ref> | |||
==See also== | |||
*[[Chris and business]] | *[[Chris and business]] | ||
*[[Chris and money]] | *[[Chris and money]] | ||
*[[Chris and stress]] | *[[Chris and stress]] | ||
*[[Chris's resume|Chris's résumé]] | |||
*[[Dimensions]] | *[[Dimensions]] | ||
*[[Manajerks]] | *[[Manajerks]] | ||
*[[Monthly | *[[Monthly tugboat]] | ||
==References== | ==References== | ||
<references/> | <references/> | ||
{{Articleofthenow}} | |||
{{Chris and}} | {{Chris and}} | ||
{{Fantasies}} | {{Fantasies}} | ||
[[Category:Articles with Jail Saga speculation]] | |||
[[Category:Things Chris hates]] |
Latest revision as of 23:47, 1 November 2024
“ | [...] comments that are truly of Good Intentions of self-improvement and constructive criticism, versus the truly Bad Intentions of spamming actual hate speech (Get A Job). | ” |
Chris considers "get a job" to be hate speech and commentary from enablers kissing his ass to be constructive criticism. |
Chris is infamous for his laziness and his dependence on his elderly parents, which inhibits him from wanting to work. He briefly held one job – two if pushing it – in his early 20s, but was unsurprisingly fired from them fairly quickly.
Despite his crippling debt, Chris has vehemently refused to even attempt to obtain any kind of employment whatsoever, due to wanting to perpetually live like a child – a stance that has become so potent that he believes that suggesting it to him should be deemed as "hate speech".[1]
Reasons for Chris's refusal to work
External factors
Criminal record
Chris, like many of us, has had as least one run in with the police. However, not only has Chris managed at least 6 "run-ins" with law enforcement, but at least 2 wobbler felony charges (which got downgraded to misdemeanor status or got dismissed due to an alternative sentencing program), multiple misdemeanors, an EPO, and a lengthy stay in jail for a charge of incest.
Parental influence
Chris's parents, but more so Bob, had encouraged him to not be employed, believing that his Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) is all he really needs to support himself - a belief that ultimately proved to be false with the advent of the Financhu Crisis.
Chris claimed that "taking care" of his parents is a full-time job in its own right[2]. Instead of getting a job to support his mother, he slowly started to sell off toys he didn't play with anymore, or begged for donations online (often in the form of videos that Barb also appeared in). This was not a substantial income, and the money Chris did get was wasted in the blink of an eye. He claimed to need money for his mother's doctor's and dentist appointments, but he usually would post a few days later that he had gotten a new toy or a video game, implying that he either lied about how much the appointments cost, or that he used his mother's money just for his own selfish needs.
Negative experiences with workers and managers
While Chris has not lived a particularly good life unemployed, he also has had some bad experiences with the employees and managers of several of the places he frequented, which further shows some of Chris's views on what it means to be employed. The way he has treated such people provides insight into Chris's delusional ideas about the role of an employee. It is a manager's duty to take action in difficult situations, like if a customer is loitering or causing a disturbance, two things that Chris has done many times in the past. Chris however, unaware of how he should act in public places, only saw such actions as a form of discrimination, solely to keep him from doing as he pleases, whether it be soliciting a girlfriend, or vandalizing merchandise or property. These views are also apparent in some of his comics, where he depicts the employees and managers that have given him a hard time as corrupt tyrants abusing their power.
When Chris had his only known job at Wendy's, he didn't get along with the restaurant's staff very well. He claimed his manager had a "spike on his shoulder" against him, and stated a female co-worker would repeatedly criticize and "insult" him, which in reality might have been her simply giving him constructive criticism. At one point, Chris decided to draw an unflattering picture of an older co-worker as a Pokémon on a napkin, which was allegedly the impetus behind his eventual firing from his job.
Chris also has had negative experiences with mall security guards. Chris's run-ins with the law have never been pleasant, and even though Chris does not exactly view workers and law enforcement in the same light, law enforcers are still technically employed by some organization. On various occasions, Chris has been shown to bolt out of a GameStop in fear when security is called, suggesting a fear of security guards, likely stemming from previous experiences.
Financial enablers
- Main article: Enablers
In the wake of the Idea Guys, Chris's enabling has gone far beyond just his mother. Chris now has admiring fans that are willing to give him loads of money in order to support him. Even after being arrested, fans continued to send him money through his inmate account, as well as donating money to his livestreams when he was released from jail. This first became an issue in early 2014, when their house burned down and his family had to move into a rental home temporarily while it was being renovated. In response to this, followers of Chris began to send him monetary donations as well as care packages. This quickly became something Chris depended on, and he regularly begged for donations for years to come, making this form of enabling commonplace. He would often beg for money to support his family, and then conveniently have new toys visible in his room. However, this stream of income never ceased.
Internal factors
Egotism and delusions
Chris, believing he is an omnipotent and omniscient goddess, doesn't have time for such frivolous things as working to make a living. In October 2017, Chris claimed that he was too busy with CWCville and his imaginary friends, in addition to helping Barb and the pets. In June 2019, Chris claimed that he was already employed by God to oversee the Dimensional Merge. Additionally, ever since Chris's transition, he feels that finding a job runs the risk of being discriminated against for his tomgirl gender, despite the fact that discrimination on the basis of gender is illegal, especially as a result of a Supreme Court ruling on 15 June 2020.
In a moment of self-awareness, Chris fears being incompetent at work, and he claimed in May 2018 that he feared that weens and A-logs will harass him at work, similar to how they harassed the management of The End Games and Anytime Fitness into banning him. However, even those significantly more mentally ill or otherwise disabled can find work, meaning Chris can quickly find easy work if he really wanted to. This shows that Chris will pull any idea out of his ass to avoid having to get off of it and contribute to society.
Lack of marketable skills
As evidenced by his resume and lack of education, Chris lacks any marketable skills or qualifications to get anything beyond a minimum wage job in the retail or fast food industry. Given his aforementioned lofty goals for salary and demanding things like having an assistant, Chris grossly overestimates what kind of a job one can find with an outdated Associate's degree and a brief employment at Wendy's.
General laziness
Chris, being as lazy as he is, would find trouble keeping a job for long due to this laziness. This is evidenced by his brief stint as a Wendy's employee, in which he is quoted as taking "frequent breaks" and not taking care of his uniform[3].
When creating his magnum opus, Chris had no schedule set in stone, only taking time to write and draw pages when he had "inspiration". Arguably his most productive period was between 2007 and 2010 when he started to achieve online infamy and constantly fell for trolling schemes. Even then, these volumes took anywhere from several months to over a year before getting completed. Not to mention that Chris pretty much wrote every Sonichu issue by the seat of his pants with minimal regard for consistency (and of course, writing is not the only place where he fails at that), resulting in the self-insert fanfic clusterfuck we've known and loved since the late 2000s.
Past stance on employment
In the past, Chris showed some degree of interest in pursuing a career, but only for his own personal gain, rather than so that he can move out of his parents' house and obtain a degree of self-sufficiency. For example, although he expressed an interest in becoming a comic book artist, working for either Archie or DC,[4], he also stated, when he completes his Love Quest, that he would stay at home while his wife works, showing that Chris was somewhat hesitant even before then. Other sources point to Chris believing that obtaining a job is only necessary to pick up a girlfriend, which is evident when he decided to take up a job in Cutco Cutlery at the beginning of his Love Quest.
Key insight into Chris's attitude towards job hunting is found in his resume from 2009. In it, Chris shows he did not understand what constitutes work experience, let alone its importance. For example, he believes that doing "volunteer work" for the Pokémon Leagues at the GAMe PLACe counts as work experience. In reality, mere "volunteer work" does not typically catch the eye of most employers. Also, Chris was not a gym leader as he claimed, but rather was a substitute when the actual Gym Leader was not available. Finally, even if this could be taken into account, what experience he obtained is likely negligible, as he had no authority over the players, and was, in fact, carefully supervised by the staff. In the same résumé, he cites his production of comics as work experience, despite not doing this in a professional setting, and the product itself leaving a lot to be desired.
The résumé also shows that, in his entire adult life, not even a fraction of his time was spent on an actual job, let alone one that was full-time in a professional environment. Counting all of the positions he had that did not involve being a Gym Leader's Assistant or working on his Sonichu comics, his total work experience amounts to a grand total of 5 months, at most. This estimate is generous because, while he claimed to have worked at Wendy's for 2 months on his résumé, he also claimed that he was already fired on 11 September to Kacey's father. Please note that this was only across an entire two-year gap between working each of the two positions he held.
List of jobs on Dimension 1218
Wendy's
- Main article: Wendy's
The first place Chris attempted to work at was at his local Wendy's. While there, his primary duties were custodial in nature rather than food preparation or direct customer interaction. Despite painting himself as an employee that "serves the customers with kind, understanding help", accounts from employers and customers have shown him to be a rude and difficult employee to work with. Chris was later fired from the restaurant, giving vague and contradictory answers about his dismissal; the motive for his dismissal was either the aforementioned Pokémon caricature incident, or a time he allegedly frightened a kid to tears with his Donald Duck impression.
Cutco Cutlery
- Main article: Cutco
The second and final job that Chris claims to have worked was through Cutco Cutlery, a multi-level marketing company that primarily sells overpriced knives. The company itself is deemed to be a notorious pyramid scheme and borderline scam that generally targets high school students, college students, and gullible idiots like Chris with no work experience. Chris claims to have lost this job after his boss "left at summer's end". Chris had obtained this job during the beginning of his Love Quest, which also showcases that Chris believed getting a job is only for people who want to have a girlfriend, even believing that having the job just magically improved his social skills. This job alone, believe it or not, was what made him believe himself to be a "Natural Salesperson". After this job, Chris would go out of his way to produce his Attraction Signs, and advertise this one quality in it.
Other employers
Besides Wendy's and Cutco, Chris has attempted to apply for a handful of other jobs, to no avail, probably due to him complaining about trolls on his resume and believing he had held positions he considered signified employment, but was actually community service at the very most.
Current stance on employment
“ | Therefore, for all of you Haterade-Chugging “GET A JOB!” spouters out there, I suggest you Shut Up and enjoy your ability to settle in a cozy Office or wherever. For the rest of us, the worlds and the dimensions are our Offices, and we are doing our best, so we can reach our respective Fated Destined Promotions. But, I Digress. | ” |
Chris claiming he's already employed in an alternate dimension |
Considering how trolls, weens, enablers, and, quite frankly, Chris himself have completely mangled and destroyed his background check over the years, it is little wonder why he has lost any hope of obtaining a job. Chris even stated he was fully aware of this in a Facebook post he made on 3 April 2017. In the same post, however, he also claims that he would still refuse to obtain a job, even without all of the crazy shit that has happened in his life. He claims to fear the possibility of being discriminated against for being autistic, transgender, and having a lesbian soul. In the modern workforce, however, this misgiving is highly unjustified, as any kind of discrimination based on gender, disability or sex is usually frowned upon in the workforce, and leaves the employer liable for legal action or federal/state sanctions/fines. Besides the former two reasons, Chris claimed that gaining employment would be redundant, as he believes taking care of his aging parents actually counts as employment, despite not being paid for it.
Job as a Goddess
Chris now appears to believe that his true occupation at the moment is being the goddess of an alternate dimension, thanks to the influence of the Idea Guys, Jacob Sockness and several other influences. In the span of two years after the aforementioned Facebook post, Chris would state on at least two occasions that he believes that the ability to support himself financially by working a job is completely useless.[5][6] As a matter of fact, in one of these occasions, he had actually stated that he is far too enlightened and above societal expectations to obtain an actual job, simply due to an absurd comparison he makes between the amount of time the universe will exist for against how much time he would work at a job.[7] As evident in the same post, as well as in a subsequent one, he actually believes that obtaining a job should not be mandatory, and even goes so far as to state that the citizens of CWCville are not required to obtain a job.
Can Chris get a (real-life) job now?
Many observers have admitted that it is too late for Chris to get a job now,[8] and this was long before his arrest for engaging in incestuous acts with his mother permanently crippled his chances. In addition to his various run-ins with the law and his local reputation for public tantrums and violence, Chris is 42 years old with only one bad month of minimum-wage employment back in 2001, a worthless CADD certificate,[9] a very brief multi-level marketing stint, and over a decade and a half's worth of unsavory information about him on the internet.[10] Chris has also not applied for a job since September 2009, and his Sonichu-laden resume is both long out-of-date and unimpressive even for the standards of when it was made.
While Chris's court case ultimately ended with the entire thing being dismissed — thus, letting him escape without a felony charge or being placed on the Sex Offender Registry — it's still likely this will be the final death blow to any sort of chance of him finding work in the future. Even if Chris does manage to miraculously turn his life around and get a legitimate job, there is a very, very significant chance that obsessive weens and A-Logs will harass his employer(s) into terminating him as soon as they get wind of it; similar to how they harassed the management of The End Games and Anytime Fitness into banning Chris simply because he was there.[11]
In short, Chris's claims that he can never get a job may be valid, albeit for different reasons to what he has in mind. Nearly all employers are unwilling to tolerate any person with that kind of background, especially with what we know now.
Chores
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“ | I work hard for my father in his garden! I pulled weeds! Those weeds are very hard to pull! | ” |
Chris, telling a former U.S. Marine about the "heavy burdens" in his life |
Aside from a few part-time jobs, from which he got fired shortly after being accepted, Chris, during his time on 14 Branchland Ct, was also responsible for doing certain chores around the household. To him, chores are menial tasks that Barb forces him to perform for her. Since these chores are the closest thing in Chris's life resembling actual work, and one of the few things taking him away from his video games, going into deep thought about other dimensions and attending BronyCon, they are a frequent source of stress and complaining for Chris. On the other hand, Chris also sees these chores as nothing more than to prove that he is not lazy, in which case he believes these chores are a good example of what a hard-working, respectable, high-functioning autistic he really is.
Chris loves chores
Chris's most notorious mention of his chores is in the Father Call, where he desperately tries to prove his worthiness to Matthew Devoria by listing some of the "hard work" he has done around the house, such as sitting on a riding lawnmower, moving chairs and carrying a doghouse across the yard. In fact, many of the "chores" he whines about are things he only did literally one time. He also compares his pulling weeds in the "hot, hot sun" to war veteran Matt's time served in the Gulf War.
Chris does not limit himself to only doing chores in real life. He also enjoys spending hours upon hours performing virtual chores in Animal Crossing. These are his favorite chores to do, because not only is he able to sit on his fat ass all day while tapping at his controller, he is also rewarded for performing these tasks! As fun as this sounds, by his early 30s it seems to just be another part of Chris's daily routine, at one point telling Julie that he had to take a break from his computer to "get [his] chores done in ACCityFolk".[12] He eventually stopped doing these chores all together after his GameCube disintegrated in the 2014 fire.
In Chris's other favorite fictional world, CWCville, Sonichu also does his share of the housework, as Chris elaborately explained in his CWCipedia bio. Between fighting evil-doers and saving the world from homosexuality, he even finds time to mow the lawn with his loyal wife Rosechu. After the kids have been sent off to school, Sonichu and Rosechu go out and vacuum to the extreme![13] Chris, on the other hand, is far too busy with his mayoral duties to worry about chores, so instead he makes his secretary, Allison Amber, do all of the work.
Chris dreams of one day being a "house husband", doing chores for his wife and daughter at home all day, while the wife goes to work and earns money for the family. In a chat with Clyde Cash, Clyde questions Chris's ability to take care of himself and his sweetheart. This causes Chris to go on for what seems like an hour, listing all the chores he is capable of performing around the house. He is very proud of his ability to load dishes into the dishwasher and put garbage into a trash can.[14]
Despite these many difficult, stressful, back-breaking chores that Chris spends his time doing, the Chandler family's house was still a disgusting pigsty that Bob falsely believed was on the verge of being condemned by the Greene County Health Department; before it actually burned down, the fire was being exacerbated by the mountains of junk held inside. In a call with Alec Benson Leary, when this conundrum is pointed out to Chris, he desperately mashed the buttons on his phone and hung up to try and get out of explaining himself.[15]
Chris hates chores
Chris spends a lot of time trying to avoid doing what he is so proud of. Barbara constantly got Chris to do things for her. This sometimes dragged him away from his friends, love life and other business. He has also hidden out at the mall for hours, just so his mother's demands that he do a "hefty chore" wouldn't disrupt his creative genius.[16]
He also blamed Barb for the Chandler household being so messy in the first place. His usual go-to excuse for the state of the house was to call her a "pack rat", even having the balls to call her lazy for not cleaning anything up. Barbara apparently left junk lying all over the house, but Chris would rather go days without showering than figure out how to move some of Barbara's junk to another room, claiming he "doesn't know what to do" with any of it. His room itself was extremely messy, with it being filled with thousands of Legos and toys that he refused to throw out.
Chris's parents also made him pay the family's bills, possibly as an attempt to make him feel like a real adult. Chris, of course, complained about having to give up a large percentage of his "tugboat" for these bills. He put off paying them for as long as possible so he could use his hard-earned money for more important necessities. In one of her rare Mumble appearances, Chris lied to Barbara about paying the bills for that month, at first whining that he was being "honest", but eventually gave in to the fear of being punished by his mother and admitted he did not pay ALL of them. But, he will "be sure to pay the remaining differences next month"!
“ | I move stuff around, I take the vacuum cleaner, I vacuum, I scrub the floors with 409 and paper towels. It's really hard work. Back-breaking! | ” |
Chris explains why he hasn't had time to work on his comic |
In 2020, Chris said that he and Barb both did equal amounts of chores, despite Barb being aged nearly 80.[17]
See also
- Chris and business
- Chris and money
- Chris and stress
- Chris's résumé
- Dimensions
- Manajerks
- Monthly tugboat
References
- ↑ https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1194090568898494464
- ↑ April 2017 Facebook posts#Chris explains why he won't get a job
- ↑ Jackie Chat 4
- ↑ Chris's resume
- ↑ October 2018 social media posts#Response to "GET A JOB"
- ↑ June 2019 social media posts#Chris claims to be employed overseeing Dimensional Merge
- ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20210208080437/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1049442246116790272
- ↑ Law-Talking Guy (28 February 2020). Re: What will happen when Barb dies?. Kiwi Farms. Retrieved 17 July 2020.
- ↑ The CADD certificate is worthless, because, in addition to the fallout between Chris and Piedmont Virginia Community College, he only produced two menial pieces of work, and has not continued to develop his CADD skills after getting the certificate.
- ↑ Bombsaway (18 December 2019). Re: What will happen when Barb dies?. Kiwi Farms. Retrieved 19 December 2019.
- ↑ May 2018 social media posts § A new excuse not to get a job
- ↑ BlueSpike Skype Logs 6
- ↑ A Sonichu Day
- ↑ Mumble 3
- ↑ Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8, 7:18 in
- ↑ Katie Bay E-mails 3
- ↑ Discord Q&A 11
Chris and... |
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