List of restaurants

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Chris's dream restaurant. At least he's honest about how fat that crap will make you.

Chris isn't much of a cook, nor are any of the current or former residents of 14 Branchland Court. When Chris isn't eating reheated frozen dinners, he's usually chowing down at a variety of local restaurants. Keeping with the theme of commercial consumerism, all of Chris's favorite restaurants are chains.

Applebee's

Applebee's is a popular chain of sit-down restaurants. Chris has occasionally eaten here, but it's generally too dear for his budget. His most notable visit was his date with Catherine and her cousin Al on 31 October 2014, where he horrified staff and patrons alike. During the father call, he mentions taking Kacey there and leaving a 15% tip on a bill of (somehow) ten dollars – a whole $1.50. Chris would also have a date with an obese woman, which he codenamed as "the Hambeast", whom he later revealed her name as Faeryn.

Arby's

Arby's is a large quick-service sandwich chain known for having the meats. In one IRC chat Chris considered Arby's as one of the possible restaurants to which he will take his first date.

Baja Bean

Baja Bean is a small chain serving Mexican food. A look at their website suggests they have only two restaurants, one of which is in Richmond. Interestingly, their location in Richmond is located only blocks from where Barb raised Cole Smithey. They also had a location in Charlottesville that Chris is known to have visited, but this has since closed down.

Appearances

• Chris tried to set up a meeting with Regina at that restaurant.
• On 25 October 2010 Chris mentioned that he once went to Baja Bean at Charlottesville but does not go there much anymore.

Burger King

Main article: Burger King

Chris favors McDonald's, whereas Bob preferred its rival, Burger King. Thus, Chris usually only ate here when he was out with his father.

Chick-fil-A

Admittedly, the store might've been a literary influence.

Chick-fil-A is a fast-food restaurant chain originating in the American South that Chris frequents, famous for its chicken sandwiches and lemonade and for always being closed on Sundays (due to their founder's Christian "seventh day of rest" beliefs). Chick-fil-A is generally considered to be one of the healthier fast food options in the United States. However, Chris has mentioned it much less often than its artery-clogging big brother, McDonald's. The reason for this is unknown; possibilities include its lack of marketing campaigns aimed at children or an absence of foolish sweepstakes or "reward programs". As such, Chris has never been banned from a Chick-fil-A in an epic showdown battling jerkops. Even when the company came under fire for its founder's anti-homosexuality views and its involvements in "family values" movements, both of which would likely endear it to Chris, it did not seem to curry any favor with him.

Appearances

• Chris met up with Emily in front of the Chick-fil-A at Charlottesville Fashion Square. Or at least tried to by calling out to the patrons (who were undoubtedly amused and perplexed).

• The Fashion Square Chick-fil-A was the site of one of the missed meetings between Chris and Surfshack Tito's agents during the drama over destroying Chris's PS3.

• The CWCville Shopping Center includes a lone Chick-fil-A on the second floor.

Collegeville Italian Bakery

Collegeville Italian Bakery Pizzeria Napoletana is an Italian restaurant in the Philadelphia suburb of Collegeville. Chris visited on 23 June 2018 after he was booted from the TooManyGames convention for inappropriate behavior. He plugged the restaurant on Twitter and suggested a new pizza called "The Sonichu Zap!" made with yellow peppers.

Country Cookin

Simonla calls for Country Cookin.

Country Cookin was Christian's not-quite-fast-food restaurant of choice. It was a Virginia-based chain of rustic steak house/buffet and grill restaurants, akin to Golden Corral, Roadhouse Grill or Ponderosa/Bonanza Steakhouse in the US, and Harvester, Beefeater or Brewer's Fayre in the United Kingdom.

Chris had mentioned it on several occasions and even had taken his troll friend Joshua Martinez there.

The company closed all of its locations in October 2020 as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic.

References by Chris

• In an e-mail conversation with Anna McLerran from 2007, Chris mentioned his regular trips to the restaurant with Joshua.
• In Mumble 2, Chris mentioned Country Cookin as one of his favorite restaurants.
• A Country Cookin branch is located in the CWCville Shopping Center.
• In Sonichu #11, a newly-resurrected Simonla recommends going for some Country Cookin food.

El Agave

A Mexican restaurant chain with a location in Ruckersville where Chris and his parents have eaten.

References by Chris

• In Jackie Chat 8, Chris mentions going to El Agave with his parents using his tugboat money.
• In September 2013, Chris scraped a woman's car while backing up in the El Agave parking lot.
• Sonic Rainboom's $500 Visa card gift to Chris shows that he purchased food from El Agave four times between 19 September and 30 September 2015.

Golden Corral

Golden Corral is an all-you-can-eat buffet chain, well-known in the American South and Midwest as the place to go for a maximum ratio of calories consumed to cash expended. Just don't think too much about where it all came from. During Chris's date with Emily, Bob mentions that he had a heart attack there while paying for the family's meal, but was caught by Barb before he fell to the floor. Despite this, it was one of Chris's favorite places to eat, probably since he could stuff his face with fatty, low-quality food at a low price. However, the Charlottesville branch went out of business in 2010 and became a Chinese buffet.

References by Chris

• Caitlin, a waitress Chris had a crush on for a day or so, worked at Golden Corral.
• In Mumble 2, he mentioned that it's one of his favorite places to eat.
• Describing his ideal date spots in an IRC chat, Chris proposed Golden Corral as a second-date destination.
• Chris's visits to the Corral with his family seem to be tightly scheduled. In a MySpace conversation from 4 September 2005, he noted that they'd be there from 3:30 to 4:45 the next day.
• Perhaps because of that precise schedule, or perhaps because he was simply overwhelmed by stress, during his final Skype conversation with BlueSpike Chris unexpectedly abandoned the conversation to take off for the Corral.
• Chris listed it as his favorite restaurant in his profile at The HooK Cafe.
• In a May 2014 Facebook post, responding to news that a fire had destroyed the Chinese restaurant where the Golden Corral once stood, he angrily demanded that his favorite restaurant be rebuilt on the site.

IHOP

A restaurant chain best known for its pancakes and other breakfast foods. Chris's parents would go there for dinner every week during the classic Chris era to take advantage of the senior discount. Chris was usually not brought along (ostensibly because it would disqualify them from the discount), but his parents would get takeout with their meal and bring it home to him afterwards. Chris was fond of their grilled chicken sandwiches.

References by Chris

• Chris discusses IHOP with Julie in BlueSpike PSN Chat 1.
• Chris discusses IHOP with Kacey in Kacey Call 6. Kacey takes issue with the fact that Chris's parents go to a pancake house for sandwiches.
• Chris mentions IHOP in Kacey Call 11.
• Chris mentions IHOP in DayOut.
• In Common Questions Chris mentions IHOP as one of the restaurants he goes to besides McDonald's or Burger King.
• In Jackie Chat 8 Chris claims that he treated his parents to dinner at IHOP twice in one month using his tugboat money. Since Chris has previously said that his parents routinely go there without him and that it is cheaper for them to pay for the food using their senior discount, this claim is dubious.
• In the Rebeckah Bentley E-mails Chris mentions going to IHOP on his 32nd birthday for the free ice cream dinner.

McDonald's

Main article: McDonald's

Chris's cheap-and-easy fast food of choice. When he wanted to cut down on his Big Mac and McNugget intake, he stopped eating there... more than twice a week or so.

Papa John's Pizza

A pizza chain with a location in Ruckersville.

References by Chris

• Sonic Rainboom's $500 Visa card gift to Chris shows that he purchased $12.46 food from Papa John's on 24 September 2015.

Rylie's Diner

Rylie's Diner (misspelled as "Riley's Diner" by Chris) is a diner in Ruckersville where Bob and Barb once ate. Barb got in an argument with the "bitchy" owner for bringing a q-sand from McDonald's into the restaurant and continuing to eat it even when told by the owner to stop. Barb was told to leave, at which point she walked out to her car with her cup of tea from the restaurant in hand and filled up her own personal cup with it. Unsurprisingly, Chris took his mother's side in the quarrel.

Sheetz

Chris at Sheetz, posing with a fan, Reddit user EdBoySenpai, in August 2020.

Sheetz is a hybrid gas station/mini-mart chain based in Pennsylvania, with stores in five other states (including Virginia) in the United States. Among the chain's selling points is an array of fast food options.

References by Chris

• Chris ended Mumble 5 by saying he needed to duck out to Sheetz to get his mother a sandwich.
• In the e-mail revealing the muscle bra, Chris mentioned that he'd sought a job application at Sheetz.
• Chris bought gas at a Sheetz in Streetsboro, Ohio on his trip to Cleveland in February 2009.
• Attempting to defend his dietary choices in one of the Kacey phone calls, Chris claimed that he enjoyed fruit smoothies from Sheetz (which can easily crack 600 calories apiece).
  

  Note he ordered no pickles
• On 4 June 2011, Chris told Jackie that recently he was at Sheetz with his mother, where a man approached Chris and asked him if he were a homosexual. Chris replied that he was a Tomgirl.
• On 2 September 2013, Chris wrote on Facebook that a couple of weeks earlier (presumably at August) he met Michael Snyder in Ruckersville at Sheetz and at McDonald's in the same morning. During the Sheetz encounter Snyder gave Chris the finger, while at the McDonald's encounter Snyder told Chris that he won't hurt him.
• On 15 June 2014, Chris gave Sheetz a five-star review on Facebook.
• On 29 July 2018, Chris, driving his mother's Dodge Caravan back home from BronyCon, found that the car had broken down while at a Sheetz gas station in Bealeton, VA. He recorded Waiting for the tow truck.
• On 22 August 2020, Reddit user EdBoySenpai met Chris at Sheetz and snapped a photo with him, posting it to Reddit two years later.

Sonic

Sonic Drive-In is a fast food drive-in chain which coincidentally has the same name as our autistic hero's favorite video game franchise. It has no locations in Chris's area, so he is not a regular patron. During his Ohio trip, however, Chris visited a Sonic location in Streetsboro, Ohio, perhaps intrigued by the restaurant's name. He ordered a hamburger with mayonnaise and no pickles and a lemonberry slushie "made from real fruit."

Starbucks

Starbucks is a very popular Seattle-based coffee chain which Chris has used as a place for dates and meetings with strangers as well as to satisfy his craving for sugary drinks. There is a Starbucks café near Charlottesville Fashion Square, and there used to be a Starbucks kiosk inside the mall as well. Chris has patronized both locations.

References by Chris

• The CWCville Shopping Center includes a Starbucks on the first floor.
• Hanna worked at the Starbucks kiosk at Charlottesville Fashion Square. Her "date" with Chris involved getting drinks from the kiosk.
• Chris went to the Starbucks kiosk with Kacey and Kim sometime in 2009.
• In the Jackie E-mails Chris repeatedly tries to set up a date with Jackie at the Starbucks café throughout summer 2010.
• Chris arranged to meet Tito and Clyde's agent at the Starbucks kiosk on 31 August 2010 to receive his reward for destroying his PS3. He waited around there for over an hour but nobody turned up.
• In two Facebook posts from April 2017 Chris praises Starbucks's Unicorn Frappuccino.
• Toffee and Punchy's first date takes place at the CWCville Shopping Center Starbucks..

Subway

Subway is the world's largest fast-food chain, selling cheap and mediocre submarine sandwiches. There are several Subway locations in the Charlottesville area, including one in Ruckersville.

References by Chris

• In the Sarah May Skype Logs, Chris mentions a Subway located in a Walmart in Streetsboro, Ohio.
• Chris mentions the Forest Lakes Subway in DayOut5.
• "Foglechu", named for former Subway mascot and convicted pedofork Jared Fogle, was one of The 69 Destined Sonichus and Rosechus.
• Chris says that he likes Subway in Jail Call - 1 November 2021.

Taco Bell

A "Mexican-inspired" fast-food chain with a location in Ruckersville.

References by Chris

• Sonic Rainboom's $500 Visa card gift to Chris shows that he purchased $5.47 worth of food from Taco Bell on 26 September 2015.

TGI Fridays

TGI Fridays is a casual dining chain where Chris used to hang out with his friend Joshua Martinez. Chris usually paid for both of their meals. On one occasion Chris had no money for food, so Josh paid for his own meal and ate while Chris looked on in envy.

As of 2013 Chris would still go to TGI Fridays on occasion, even though he and Josh had long ceased to be friends. He claimed in an email to Kim that it was the only bar-like establishment which he still patronized at the time, although he did not make it clear whether he came there to drink or merely to eat.

The chain's Charlottesville location, probably the one which Chris frequented, has since closed.

Wood Grill Buffet

A buffet chain with a location in Charlottesville. Despite being a buffet restaurant, Chris seems to think of the place as a high-quality eatery.

References by Chris

• In a Gal-pal email from November 2009, Chris mentions getting dressing for his Thanksgiving dinner at Wood Grill Buffet.
• In a Facebook post from January 2014, Chris asks for gift cards for restaurants such as Wood Grill Buffet, iHop, McDonald's and Burger King. He then disparages the latter two restaurants, claiming that they are "last choices" and that he prefers "good food".
• In an October 2019 chat in The Place Discord server, Chris mentioned he and Barb went to Wood Grill Buffet for lunch on her birthday.