Samurai Pizza Bots

Excelina shows off her PRIMUS-GIVEN ROBOT VAGINA. Son-Chu stands by her side.

According to CWCipedia, the Samurai Pizza Bots are a cadre of Transformers who protect the city of CWCville from enemy attack. Since they have only now shown up in the partially-completed issue nine, one wonders why the hell these giant combat robots haven't been helping Christian and Sonichu not get their heads kicked in by a variety of implausible super-villains.

The Who, Now?

Apparently, the streets of CWCville are patrolled by a handful of Autobots whose cover job is that of pizza delivery. One of their number turns into a samurai robot. This seems justification enough to call them the Samurai Pizza Bots, which in no way resembles an obscure kid's anime from the early 90s.

There are five members of the Samurai Pizza Bots:

Son-Chu

Chris's own Transformer. Why a powerful, intergalactic, shape changing robot is in his service is beyond us. Like most things in his comic, it's there because Chris thinks it's awesome. Yeah, we have some different standards of awesome here.

Excelina

A motorcycle with a blatantly obvious hologram "rider". Men are courteously informed that she is just a hologram. Just in case you thought of fantasizing about her Chris's art had gotten even worse. Based on Chris's naming conventions, the name itself is probably ripped off from Excelina of Steel Angel Kurumi, or possibly Excel Saga, which Chris has parodied before. In Episode 20, Excelina exposes her robot vagina for reasons that remain unclear.

From the CWCipedia:

Slick, cool, and full of style in her attacks. Our other Cycle-Bot, Excelina knows all the shortcuts throughout Cwcville. When a Bad Bot is afoot, she can get there faster than a 10-Second or FREE Deal in her Hot Pink Cycle Mode. She is Strong-Fisted Up-Close, but her main weapon is Sniper-Style. When she needs a good shot, she needs space.

Bumble-Lumba

The possibly-retarded most assuredly retarded Bumblebee ripoff.

From the CWCipedia:

A Yellow/Green Bug-Car, Bumble-Lumba not only delivers pizzas quick and slick, but when a Decepti-Clone attacks a nearby Couple or two, he does not hesitate to paralyze the bot with his stingers and kick its ass back to PVCCitizens.

Armoraxe

The armored, axe-wielding vehicle named for his charming wit and propensity for wisecracks.

From the CWCipedia:

Rockin' And Stompin hard while Partying with the 52 Pies from the shop, Armoraxe is a real Guitar Hero. Having the strong armor from his Heavy-Beat Van Mode makes him TOUGH. He attacks the Bad Bots with his Sharp Axe, that can also transform into a Plasma Rifle; when he Plays That Beat, HE WAILS!!!

Prower

The samurai motorcycle thingey owned by Punchy Sonichu and ridden brazenly like a man-pony at an S'n'M club, and in absolutely no way ripping off of Miles Prower aka Tails.

From the CWCipedia:

Punchy's Motorbike is also an Autobot. Sidecar to make strong armor for the quick, slick and stealthy Prower. He relies on his Ninjitsu, Razor-Sharp Choppin' Hands, Shuriken Stars and holographic images make him a Sharp close-bot-attacker.

Totally original and not at all stolen

Once again, these vehicles--a Ford Escort, two motorcycles of unknown make (because Chris knows dick about motorcycles, let alone cars, and draws what's supposed to be a Beetle), a Scion xB, and an '09 Camaro (totally not ripping off of Bumblebee in the Transformers movie)--are used to deliver for a local pizzeria, adorned with a logo that integrates the Autobot symbol, and are seen in association with the local team of superpowered whackjobs. Given that the whole idea behind Transformer altmodes is to make money off of licensing be discreet, it might be safe to assume that the Autobots use CWCville as a dumping ground for Autobots too stupid to live. Given that retarded robot dinosaurs and blatantly offensive racist caricatures are active members, that's saying something.

The Absent Robomen

Let me guess, at this point you're wondering where the hell they've been since the beginning of the comic. That's a damn good question, and given that Chris seems to imply the SPB have been around for some time, it's one that really should be answered. Were the Autobots new in town, perhaps to help hold the line while Mayor Mary Sue was buggering off in the Time Void, that might be reasonable (as reasonable as yet another intellectual property coming to town would be). As-is, it seems that the Samurai Pizza Bots have been too busy doing their cover jobs correctly to indulge the petty desires of an autistic man-child, waiting until the enemies they're supposed to be fighting show up.

...Hmmm, maybe they're not that bad after all.

Gallery of Plagiarism

• 

  S.A.V. = Animated Swindle

• 

  Excelina = Arcee (movie version). Sadly, this can't even be considered a recolor because he didn't change the colors. The name probably makes reference to Excel Saga.

• 

  Punislav = Barrier (movie version)

• 

  Bumble-Lumba = Animated Bumblebee

• 

  Prower = Animated Prowl. Punchy was probably trying to name him "Prowl" but couldn't pronounce the "l" sound because he's Asian.

• 

  Armoraxe = Animated Soundwave. Not only did he become stupid looking, but now he's an Autobot! This is an insult!

• 

  Cracker = Cybertron Thundercracker

See also:

• Transformers
• Jerkop Punislav