LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2009

The Gal Pal E-mails are a set of emails which Chris sent to an anonymous female friend. They were leaked onto the Kiwi Forums gradually beginning in late January 2015. While most of them are not dated, they appear to range from June through September 2009. During this period, Chris had to deal with the hacking of his PS3 by Jack Thaddeus and friends, a brown-striped impostor, angry parents, and fashion discoveries. The names of several innocents have been hidden.

More e-mails were leaked in September 2016.

Messed-up biological clock

On 5 June 2009, Chris's YouTube account was hacked by trolls. On 10 June, he regained control, apparently with the help of this gal pal, who Chris thanks in this email. Their relationship seems to be rather new.

Hey, [redacted]. I'm sorry for not picking up. I was busy with a project Monday night, then I fell asleep later on. Confidentially, Sunday after awaking at 6 PM (I think I told you about what happened; missed church with wrong AM/PM setting, and slept in some more), I stayed awake for over 24 hours, then I fell asleep this morning during 1 AM. I had a busy day yesterday, between my meeting with Rocky, going out for breakfast with my mother, picking up a perscription, thinking further about the LittleBiGPlanet level (I've made up a set of 8 Sonichu/Rosechu Dolls; they're cute), and other things I can't remember at the moment. Anyway, after falling asleep this morning, I didn't feel like much, so I took a day off; I fed my cats though. I got up a short while ago at about 11 PM. I know, I know; my biological clock reverted back to a messed-up status. Which is one reason I need an in-person girlfriend/sweetheart; to encourage me to "Come to Bed" and nudge me and stayed until I was fully awake, at more appropriate times. *sigh* I'm only human. Anyway, I've received your voicemail, and that is good you got my YouTube back. Thank you, [redacted] (if I may call you that). :) I'll ask you to hold onto the password and spell it out for me, letter/number by letter/number, tomorrow night in your call. I promise to leave my phone on Loud and Pick Up. I set my phone to silent when asleep, but the Alarm is still loud always. I'll likely go for a walk at the Mall this coming afternoon; other things that come up may come up. But all in all, I am still healthy and okay. :) Thank you for your concern, and I aplogize for any bother I may have caused you. Send my kind regards to [redacted] and [redacted] for me. You all take care, and I'll talk to you later. Love and Peace, Christian C.

Ranking China

According to the Gal Pal: "Backstory to this is that friend of Chris had a sleepover with some other girls who joined in on a phone call with him... And the Easter Egg(s) is the girl named Crystal which is pretty easy to guess but we had BlueSpike voice Azul, hurr hurr get it? Sorry, bad joke. Blue had to do falsetto because at that point his voice wasn't that of a 13 year old. "

Mon, Jun 15, 2009 at 11:58 AM They all look soo good. Thank you. Also, IMHO, between Crystal and Scout; I would definitely love to date either one of them, and after giving thought to last night's chat as well... I'd give my first date ever to Scout. My reasons behind the decision: they both are really hot and beautiful. Crystal did show good, honest interest in me. She was also very sweet in how she talked. Her name is the same as the name I had planned on giving to my future daughter. Yet she said she would be going back to California shortly. Granted Scout has her eyes on another dude, there is a chance that he may not feel for her or that he can be already taken or is gay (not to put down the guy in her eyes or offend her personally). She was fun to talk with. She gives off an encouraging energy that I feel more attracted to. She has the same hairstyle and figure as the women who have seen in my dreams before (the water-filled labyrinth and YES, the one I had recently with the asian-looking woman). And I have the impression that she lives around C-Ville; please verify that for me. I would have included Azul in the rankings; she was HOT too, but she already has her own children, and I was not looking for a woman already with children. But still, I highly compliment her figure, looks and charm. Although she is shy now, she can overcome that easily soon; yet that makes her more cute and can work for her when she is ready to find a guy here in the U.S. I wish her very well in her future. :) I still would like to meet all of them and hang out for a while, if possible before Crystal has to leave. Also, talking about the "Lisp" of a gay dude, like I said before, a "lisp" to me is the speech imparement from lack of a few teeth. The word that would have been more appropriate and understandable was "Efemminate". But that's just for your information. Please send my kind regards to Crystal, Scout and Azul for me. And if Scout is willing to give me a real-life try (dating me), please give her my number, so we can set up a date. Oh, and also, the picture of Crystal and Scout, is that really a room in your house, [REDACTED]? It looks good. What does that sign above the window say? I can only make out 2/3 to 75% of it. I'll TTYL. Love and Peace to you all, Christian C. P.S. Please let me know if Logan accepted my apology.

The Cwcville political scene

Chris's friend took additional measures to help Chris root out YouTube trolls. On 10 July 2009, Chris uploaded a video calling "Shmion Sonozaki" a "coward, naive, retarded individual," contributing to the suspension of his account.

Thank you for informing me about this person, and I understand the message you relayed from [redacted]. Please see what else you can learn about "Shmion Sonozaki"; where he/she lives for one thing. Also, about that Cwcville Site; it is Blasphemous how far they took the Billy Mays lie. Upon further consideration, I would say Cwcville is more of a King/Queen type of politic, since I would not want anyone else taking over my city and whatnot. Still, as you know I run it with a firm hand, and keep it in a healthy state. I also with to contact the webmaster of that site and tell him myself about his erroneous statements, and also make it Clear that Billy was NEVER Mayor. *sigh* *What a headache* Also, I remembered what I wanted to let you know about last night; I've found the Complete DVD set of the anime, "Shuffle", at Best Buy yesterday for $49.99 (plus tax). I have downloaded the entire 24-episode series from the Playstation Store for $1.99 per episode. At 1.99 X 24 = 47.76, it was obvious that downloading the episodes was the Better Bargin there. That's a Plus for Sony. I've just read an e-mail from [redacted]. I'll forward it to you to let you know what he said. At least we all can still meet up at the Downtown Mall Friday to hang out; please let me know if [redacted] can join us. I'll TTYL, Peace, Christian C.

Experiments with alcohol and balloon art

On 13 July 2009, footage of Chris hanging out in a bar with friends was uploaded onto YouTube. On the same day, Jack Thaddeus gave what Chris calls a "sex-challenge," that he must upload a video of himself having sex with a hooker in order to win back his hacked PSN network accounts. Not long afterward, Chris sent the following email.

I'm sorry I didn't pick up earlier; I drifted off at about 6:30 PM. I had a day. I awoke 6 AM; fed my cats, had breakfast and whanot. Later went with my father to Burger King; I only had a cup of coffee. I confided in my father about my drinking; he was not as cool as I thought he was going to be. Still, he taught me about his vast knowledge of liqour, wine and beer. We stopped by the nearby ABC and Food Lion on the way home for him to show me the varieties from his P.O.V. He has sampled a lot of varieties in his lifetime. He would love to sit out on his outdoor swing and have a Miller or a Micolobe (mom too), but they both take a LOT of medications, so they can't drink alcohol, cause mixed with their medications in their bodies could kill them. I was hoping he would not tell mom about it, but he said he HAD to tell her. She gave me 2 minutes of her emotions, compressed into a few I statements and telling me what she is limiting in her things for me; food and gas money. But I'm sure she'll be over it soon and it will go back to normal. It's not like I drink everyday, although I did for a short while, then I had a short dry spell. My family is also concerned about my health, because I'm taking one medication for my stress-management, as well as an imitation of Lipitor. I have an appointment with my doctor this afternoon, so I'll ask him about that (upon my mother's suggestion). Later on, at about 2, I went downtown with my father to the Shell at Pantops for their Hot Dogs (He liked their cole slaw and BBQ meat they had before on their Hot Dog fixings bar, as well as the old deal they had on their dogs; 2 for something inexpensive. But the price rose, they no longer had the cole slaw and BBQ, and while we still had two dogs there, he's crossed that location off his list of good places to eat. Then he went to the nearby CVS for motion sickness pills, the C'Ville Market for Tomatoes, then the nearby Goodwill upon my request (I've bought a denim jacket). Then we got back home about 4:30. I put the jacket in with a load of laundry, then I watched the X-Play reruns my DVR recorded for me from today. They replayed their 1 hour special on the MMO Gameplay. It was interesting; they also had shots from Second Life among the MMO games. Then I felt like turning on an episode of Monty Python on my PS3, and I was debating on heading out tonight, or where I could go right now to flirt with women before the Baja. I was left feeling drowzy, and I fell asleep. Aside from my day, my father told me the fate of those bottles of wine we had that I mentioned before. They got lost in the movings from house-to-house during my Middle and High School years (from among 4 houses in all), and the wine rack they were housed in was donated to a Goodwill. Also, I looked up your YouTube account from my new account last morning. I thought I asked you not to upload any new videos you shot of me. No hard feelings, but I respectfully ask you to refrain from Uploading any more in the future, please. Lord knows how many trolls have mocked me from the footage, even to Mirror the videos for their personal use. And after awakening from my nap a few minutes ago, I had a thought from asking [redacted] to create a Balloon Sneaker for the balloon mouse to live in. With my mind as creative as a CADD program, I had imagined how a 3-dimensional sneaker could be made from 2 or 3 inflated white balloons and 2 uninflated gray balloons (for sneaker laces), even to expand it to be a boot (so he can pretend he caught a boot instead of a fish). Then I had the idea, [redacted] is THAT GOOD at Balloon Art; I'm going to look up a Balloon Art Convention (for in case he does not know of any) for him, and I am confident in his ability to put together the BIGGEST thing he'd like to create from balloons; he could create a human-size Statue of Liberty if he wanted to. Aside from my doctor's appointment this afternoon, I also have a meeting with Rocky. I'm also going to hang at the mall to flirt with the ladies; may as well Strike while my confidence is HOT. I'll TTYL. Take care and Stay safe. Love and Peace, Christian C. P.S. What are your thoughts about the sex-challenge I was thrusted with?

Chris looks for a free hooker

This email was sent not long after the previous one. In an effort to meet Jack Thaddeus's demand, Chris turned to Craigslist, but to no avail.

In my sarch on Craigslist, the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about Jack and my PSN account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :(

Finding someone who will agree to have sex with Chris

Given Chris's lack of success in finding a hooker, Chris's gal pal apparently volunteered her services in finding him a sex partner. Having located a possible candidate, Chris debated how much she needed to know about Jack Thaddeus and his blackmail. It is unclear whether this anonymous woman was requesting that she be paid for having sex with Chris. In any case, nothing came of this, and Chris would remain a virgin with rage for the next couple years. Jack Thaddeus withdrew this particular ultimatum on 19 July 2009.

I've given it more thought and calmed down a bit as well. You may inform [redacted] about me being the creator of Sonichu and Rosechu, and that I have Fans and Trolls who have been contacting/troubling me. Show her some of my art if possible. And let her know about my PSN account; that the Trolls have hacked into it twice before and they've gotten into it again, and I've been troubled with recovering that. About that much to let her be informed about is cool. If you feel it advisable to let her know about Jack and his challenge for my out-of-country and second US account, you may tell her about that. I feel it best if she does know about some to all of the stories/situations, so she doesn't have to feel out of the loop of knowledge. I would feel better if when she agrees to the sex, she has a general understanding and cares enough about me to help. Thank you for listening, [redacted]. Love and Peace, Christian C.

An anime convention and more fun with alcohol

In this email, Chris's friend tries to get him to attend Otakon, an anime convention, which was held in Baltimore from July 17 to 19. While Chris would not attend, Liquid Chris did, and made a killing off Sonichu merchandise, galvanizing Chris to start a civil war.

Chris also gropes his television screen.

I will get the pages rolling soon within the week. Also, thank you for the Otakon info. $65 sounds affordable, but I'm not sure I could afford the other essentials like gas, souvineres and whatnot. If [redacted] is cool, I can share a ride with you two on the trip, and I'll sleep in the Lounge area. I could fend for myself at McDonalds or somewhere inexpensive like that. But I'll let you and [redacted] discuss that. If it is cool, I would pay my $65 for the Otakon. Also, I did something completely different today, this morning, while my father was reading his paper at the Burger King in Ruckersville, I snuck over to the nearby ABC store (telling him I was going to the Pawn Shop), and not only did I find the Jack Daniels, But I found some pre-made Long Island Tea in a Bottle for $10. So after gathering the funds, I returned later for that, a Sweet & Sour Mix, two Lemons and a 2-Liter Coca Cola. I've filled 5 12oz bottles from Mike's Hard Cranberry/Lemonade; I had one earlier. I have expierenced the tipsy feeling, and then some, in my bedroom. I played the "Roy Rogers McFreely" episode of "American Dad" on my PS3, mainly to learn what it was mixed with a cold Coke to make a Roy Rogers; GRENEDINE! :D I'll try that in a week or so. Also, I was soo tipsy, after Hayley exposed her painted breasts, I paused, founced over to my HDTV and try to feel her breasts. Soo Silly. :) Before today, [redacted] told me they didn't sell Long island in bottles; I've just proved him wrong. F.Y.I., the mix was a "Barton" Brand, and it was located under "Mixes" at the ABC. Another note, I want [redacted] I pray she'll give me some time over the Killzone 2 Extra. I'll TTYL Love and Peace, Christian C.

Who was the very first troll?

On 24 July 2009, when Chris asked Jack why he was being trolled, Jack cryptically replied, "Who was the very first troll? That will answer your question." This captured Chris's attention. Chris sent a near-identical copy of this email to Katie Bay on 26 July.

Damn! Upon personal mental recollection, the Earliest Trolls I know of are as follows: -Michael Snycer, Current Owner/manager of the Game and Hobby Place. He's hated my guts after multiple times borrowing the store's HDTV for Console Gameplay. And in subtle retalliation, I hand wrote, on a cardboard box, "Michael Love the "F" Out of Mary Lee Walsh!" I tried to protect myself when he found it WEEKS later after having wrote it; I even convinced myself that the "F" meant "Fiddlesticks"; It originally meant "Fuck". That was why the Son of a Bitch Jew kicked me out of The Game Place, Permanently, After YEARS of Loyal Volunteer Service in the Pokemon TCG League. I had apologized numerously before, but he's still the pigheaded, stubborn Jew he was then. I was kicked out about Friday, June 13, 2008; it Was a Friday. -[redacted] (A Possible Troll) You know the story; tried to win her over in about 2 years time before I was kicked out of The Game Place. She was rarely all that into me either, fairly much like how [redacted] was Not into me either, but at least [redacted] Told Me Quicklu, instead of trying to be subtle over a LOOONG Time. -[redacted] I have No idea of what the fuck got into his head, because we were like buddies in the history of the Pokemon and Yu-gi-Oh TCGs. He always got me quick with his Squirtle, No Wartortle, with Pokemon Breeder Deck. Bu I Know, with the help of my father's Scooby-Doo Detective Work that [redacted] Was the One who put that Damn Encyclopedia Dramatica Sign in my front yard, Halloween Night, 2008. There's a video somewhere on YouTube of the bastard showing off his deed with pictures of mine and my dad's cars' Behinds with the License Plate, And a pic of the accomplice Girlfriend (Upon zoomed-in Perspective, I know that gal was [redacted] from what I could tell of the blurred face, hairstyle and body type). [redacted] Friend, [redacted] was the Troll who too that snapshot of mr the last Friday Night of October, 2007, that went onto that damn ED Page in its Early Days of being typed up. It was Also the same Friday Night I became SHOCKED witnessing [redacted] making out with this turned-homosexual dude, Christopher (don't remember his last name... Could This Chris be the Chris Crocker Sam was talking about trolling later?), then started a game shortly after, still in shock, and during the whole game, I nervously talked like a robot. But I Saw the Camera Flash, and the Photographer was TALL and wearing a trenchcoat; [redacted] with a Capitol "T R O L L". I have never suspected: -[redacted]; he was a cool guy. -Any of the other individual employees who worked under Michael's Management. And I Know these are NOT Trolls: -[redacted] - He was a Family Man, with a job as a Physics Teacher at Albemarle High; Squall was One of his Passing Students. -[redacted] - He was a scrappy little spanish child, who lived with his Grandma. He was a Prankster, but he cared about me as a friend. Last time I saw him in person, He GREW Taller than me at about 13 (which that is his current age, as far as I can tell). Impulsively, I would like to Pay Michael A Surprise Visit, But I don't want to go back in there unarmed with only memories. I Need my friends. :) Please see what you can learn about the confirmed Trolls I have just Listed, And Find out what you can up to firing that guy Sam knows at Sony, as well as her "brother" and the "hungry reporter" at NBC29. Thank you. Stay Safe, Love and Peace, Christian C.

Chris asks Michael for a 500-word essay

Still bothered by Jack's question, Chris continued the search for clues by sending a letter to Michael Snyder. He constructed this typed copy of his hand-written letter for his gal pal. Why Chris expected Mike to respond to this weird combination of anger and civility is beyond neurotypical understanding.

I will type it up verbatim now; July 27, 2009 Michael Snyder/ The GAMEe PLACe 243 Ridge McIntire Rd. Charlottesville, VA 22903 Michael, It has been About One Year, One Month, Two Weeks (14 Days) since you kicked me out of my weekly volunteer work at "your" store with [redacted] at the Pok'emon Trading Card Game League. FIDDLESTICKS! The feelings of that shameful event between you, my mother, Barbara Anne Weston Chandler, and me (Both of Me; Christian of NOW, and Christopher of the '80s). I want to let you know that I no longer hold hard emotions against you of that day, as well as a few fridays before when you BOASTED NO Wii-Play. There WERE Children without the Electivere, Magmortar and Surfing Pikachu. *SIGH* So, I will ask you again, Please Let Me BAck Into The PLACe. But Now I get to the Main Point of hand-writing this Letter today. You know WELL not only of the Encyclopedia Dramatica Page against me, but of my infinite (symbol) swarm of countless Internet Bullies and Trolls who (quoting Stan Bush), "Trying to break your (my) spirit, Keeping you (me) down," but I fight them all and emerge victorious after "Fighting for the things you (I) know are right." I Digress. I am looking up and searching for the VERY FIRST "CWC TROLL"; the very First Individual who Ranted Against Me, Sonichu and Rosechu. Enclosed is a copy of my List of Suspects from as early as October, 2007. You are at the top of the list. I have already informed my church's pastor, pastoral counsoler And Our Charlottesville Detective (working on stopping these Trolls). I WANT YOU TO BE GOD-WATCHING HONEST WITH ME, Michael Snyder. -Are You One of those Trolls? -For Reasons Before November 2007, Why did you hate me or Troll me? *The Wii-Thing DOES NOT COUNT, because that happened June, 2008.* -What did I ever do to you? -*WHY TROLL ME ABOVE ALL MORE SUCCESSFUL or LESS SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE? -Or in short, for you to respond with a MINIMUM 500-Word Essay, What The F***? Please reply via Hand-Written Letter ONLY, as Quickly As Possible. Have a good day. Peace, Christian W. Chandler (angry Sonichu face with lightning bolts sparking) And out of the WHOLE list e-mail, here is what I had enclosed for his information out of it: [letter cuts off]

A pretty girl and a brown-striped impostor

This email was probably sent on 29 July 2009. Chris had finished and uploaded Episode 19 the day before.

I have some good news, and I would appreciate your input as well. :) On the way home from Church today, I stopped by Best Buy for a catalog and a short browse; while I was wondering the PSP Aisle, this pretty girl who works there asks me, "May I Help You?" I said, "No thanks, I'm just browsing," then I got a good look at her. Then she complimented my glasses; she wanted bigger frames fromt the pair she has; she's nearsighted too. Then the Medal came into Talk; without saying my name yet, I told her in a nutshell about being the original creator of Sonichu, Rosechu and Cwcville, and the comic pages I had, as well as being internet famous, with Trolls; had the Original Site, had to take it down, then with help from a friend of mine (that's you), I'm back up and runnin' on Cwcipedia. Then she was like, "Oh! I know you from your YouTube Videos. What was your name? Don't tell me... Okay, give me a hint." "Name the Religion." "My Religion?" "No, The Religion." "Oh, Chrstian!" Then I asked her name; her name is [redacted]. We chatted a bit further, and then we parted ways for the time. I'll be coming back to Best Buy for "Music Advice" later this week and try to ask her out. If you, or [redacted] or [redacted] would like to check her out for yourself; she didn't wear a nametag today, but she was one of the Blue-Shirted Employees; has Cinnamon-Brown Hair, tan and eye-makeup; about 4 to 5 feet tall. I think her hair was long. Also, I've completed the Dating Education Episode last night, and the episode is fully colored, texted and uploaded onto Cwcipedia. Then, with the Billy Mays page, I created a Memorial Page; I invited him to come back and visit Charlottesville (invited his family too) for our current or future Dogwood Festival. Imagine if that happened, and if there was a Photographic moment of me shaking hands with Billy Mays 3; THAT would put a kick in the Trolls balls. That reminds me, as for the Impostor taking the Troll Load off of me, as nice as that sounds, I just can not let that happen. He takes my Trolls; he would take the Good Fans as well. And where does that leave me? Nowhere. Plus, if you watched his foreign-talking video recently, he Creepily Mentions DarkHorse Comics (just after [redacted] talked about it). Still, I have a new goal among my goals; start the Comic-Talk between me and DarkHorse, DC or Marvel. I've decided to leave Archie behind, as from what I've seen in their books, they don't cut as much adult meat as I have covered once or twice, as you may remember. And the Impostor pretty much made me feel uncomfortable about DarkHorse, because HIM saying it at the moment, and the way he said it, it was equivilant to a Mother or Father joining in on a Child's current Fad; TURN-OFF for the Child. But I won't let that stop me from talking to DarkHorse if they start talking to me. I gtg for now. I'll take a break, then I'll draw the Samurai Pizza Autobots on a page, as I have done for practice with the other Autobots and Decepti-Clones. Stay safe and take care. Love and Peace, Christian C. P.S. [redacted] has also informed me of a Special Summer Celebration Picnic from the C-Ville Therapeutic Recreation Program & The Independence Resource Center; they're having music, games and more, PLUS some UVA Law Enforcement Representatives I could ask for their help in my current situation on starting to put Sonichu and Rosechu into the business world and whatnot. I will be attending the picnic.

Printer trouble and a creepy plot

While Chris was infuriated that Liquid Chris was impersonating him, he also saw this as an opportunity to convince Liquid's girlfriend Kacey that he was "the Real C.W.C." This evolved into a dumb plan to trick Kacey into coming to his house so that they could have sex. It involved video, phone calls, and help from friends.

3 August 2009 ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com 8/3/09 A couple of things. Currently, my Scanner is out of order; something wrong with the Print Cartridge. Trials and Errors lead me to believe it may have something to to with the copper contact prongs syncing up with the cartridge. I use an HP Printer/Copier/Scanner, it takes HP 56 Black/57 Color, but it has been working with the less expensive Nukote Cartridges up till now (Nukote can be found at Wal-Mart and Sam's Club; they are Recycled Cartridges with new ink). I also wanted to check on if you've got in touch with [redacted] yet, or your thoughts on the topic. Please let me know. I will also ask [redacted] to get in touch with [redacted] to better soften the hard truth before she comes over, meets the real parents, then the Real C.W.C. I will do some drawing of new pages today, some coloring too. If you know anyone who will look a my printer and repair it as a favor, I would appreciate it. Although, I may ask Liz [Reverend Elizabeth Foss] or Rock if they know anyone as well. Whatever. :) I'll TTYL, Stay safe, take care, Love and Peace, Christian C.

My mother and my father are angry with me!

This panicked email is best read in conjunction with a certain video he made on the same day.

27 August 2009 chrischansonichu@aol.com 8/27/09 Also, because of my MONTHS-OLD mistake, my mother took away my Car Keys, my Drivers License... TRAPPING ME IN THE HOUSE THAT LOVE BUILT, BUT YEARS LATER, CHAOS ENSUED! *sob* Mom and Dad are both very angry with me. I've informed [redacted] and I'll call my detective tomorrow. IDK, you have IN with the trolls, please see if you can talk them into HELPING me remove that footage off of the internet. (I KNOW, they'll be too damn stubborn, stupid and cocky to help, but any port in a hurricane). *feelin' dizzy* I gotta get back to searching on YouTube for the similar videos and flagging them; you flagging them can help too. Please tell [redacted] all that for me; maybe she and her family can help, IDK. RALLY THE GOOD, LOYAL TROOPS! Yet another MAJOR REASON TO TAKE DOWN THAT E.D. Page, because they probably have all that shit on there as well. And all it took was ONE TROLL calling my house and telling my father about seeing a portion of his Wall of Records (LPs) in pictures. HELP!!! HELP!!! HELP!!! Because aside from flagging, IDK what to do. Originally, the videos were uploaded onto a Mega Upload site (I FORGOT WHICH ONE) in a zip folder for "Julie". God and Christ Help Me. I'm sorry, but I'm stressing out here. TTYL, Christopher Christian W.C.

Paranoia reigns at 14 Branchland Court

This email provides a follow-up from the events of the previous day.

28 August 2009 ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com 8/28/09 It can be better... Did you tell anyone about my telling you about my parents threatening to kick me out? I'm not blaming you; I'm just asking. And let me remind you that everything I tell you should be treated as confidential ONLY between you, [redacted], [redacted] and [redacted] (BTW, I trusted [redacted] with viewing the uncut video last night; I felt I could trust her). Also, my mother is in an untrusting mood; she is not trusting anyone right now, including you and [redacted] it's not y'all's faults, and I think at the time communications between you and my parents can only stir more trouble. Maybe wait a week or two, then I think it would be advisable for you to call my family on their house phone (leave a message, as my father moniters all incoming calls on caller ID and left messages) from y'alls house or cell phone; NO SKYPE to my house, please. Then you can meet my father at least (he's the more socialable parent right now) and try to quell the mistrust my family feels. *sigh* I'm trying to restore peace into this house that is now filled with chaos, because of those trolls. I'll copy most of this message for [redacted] to read as well, because I feel it advisable for her to meet my family in person as well (especially the chance of better things to come between me and her). :) I'll TTYTonight, Stay Safe and Take Care, Christopher Christian W. Chandler.

Tugboat confusion

In a phone call on the previous day, Kacey had used "tough love" to persuade Chris to look for a job.

Another piece of interesting information in this email is that Chris is trying to apply for a copyright. Unlike the job search, this effort would eventually bear fruit.

29 August 2009 chrischansonichu@aol.com 8/29/09 But my mother and father are old and a bit stubborn on parting (especially my mother); Tell Them That, not me. If She would wise up, I would only be happy to take All the bulky furniture that is just sitting there out to the front lawn, call Goodwill and have them come and pick up All That. On a brighter side, my family has calmed some more; I got my keys back, but she says Not to drive myself anywhere. Also, [redacted] showed me some tough love and encoraged me to fill an application at Wal-Mart, even though I have not confirmed all the details I need to know on the work limits from Social Security yet. The .gov website offered no straightforward answers, and I called the dude the lady at the office reccomended. And I hastily went onto WalMart.com and filled out a job application for the Charlottesville location. [redacted] encoursged me to shoot for a 20 hour work week, but I think the limit is 10 or 15; She told me to be ambitious like that. And in the part of inputting which days I would be available, I left Sat and Sun Not Available, but I filled in the remainder 11 am to 5 pm; that rounds to 30 hours. Crap. I'm stressin', because I still do not understand fully the Work Ticket Limit. Anyway, I am going to read over the copyright forms today and try to understand what I would need to do. I'll TTYL, Stay Safe, Chris.

The muscle bra email

This is the famous muscle bra email which had been leaked separately in October 2009. The reference to "hackery" probably refers to his brief, dumb attempt in YouTube comments to make people believe that he had multiple personalities.

3 September 2009 ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com 9/3/09 I'll send the password again. And I can assure you, [redacted] that IT WAS HACKERY. While I am asleep, I have my computer Turned Off and my PS3 set onto Life With Playstation. And lately, I've been having my usual good night sleeps; NO NEW aches and pains from whatever. Stress causes Memory Loss sometimes. At least I undid the hacker who got into my YouTube. Also, I did my shopping today; I haven't been able to draw or color today yet, but I will set some time tonight. I got my copy of G.H.5, my new 3-in-one-printer, and I found the sports bras at Wal-Mart; 3-packs for $10 a pack. In leiu of going into the fitting room, I asked the nearby female employee to measure my bust size; I'm a 43. So I got a 3-set of 42; I've been wearing one for try... It is sooo comfortable, and my manboobs do not bounce as easily; I jumped a few times to see. OMG, WOW! This material feel so, so, so good on my skin. It's like a Guitly Pleasure or something. :) Anyway, I got my exercise in today. I also went to McD, Toys 'R' Us, Sheetz, Food Lion and Target for applications; NO PAPER APPLICATIONS! OMG, it really ground my gears to realize that. Although at Target, I was not totally surprised; I went straight to their computer station and filled in their application online. But EVERYONE IS LIKE GOING DIGITAL WITH NO PAPER TRAIL; It Sucks! This is even WORSE Than that CRAPPY PowerWeb at PVCC. Yes, you have read correctly, I HAVE ALWAYS HATED THAT DAMN, STUPID POWERWEB! Even in it's pre-released Over Advertising, which was TOTALLY UNECCESSARY. Every time I was FORCED into using that Damn System, I was always reluctant, and I had to use my Student ID No., which I HAD NEVER CARED TO MEMORIZE; I only glanced at a few numbers at a time upon entry, and "In One Ear And Out The Other" with that soiled piece of what would have been valuable information. You said I was the first person you met to Hate Kenneth; well, I'm probably the first person you met who Always Loathed the PowerWeb since its PreBirth. *sigh* But I digress... and this bra feels sooo good. Something else, I'll forward you an email I sent to [redacted] last night after our conversation to best start another concern of mine. I'll TTYL, Stay Safe, Chris.

Relationship with the Wallflower

In this email, Chris -- ever mindful of a woman's right to choose -- considers telling the Wallflower to "put out or shut up."

Mon, Feb 15, 2010 at 12:17 AM I was thinking (probably dangerous) further about telling [REDACTED] about splitting the bill or putting out and all. She REALLY is a sweet woman, and telling her something like "put out or shut up", or inferring sex like that, may hurt her feelings or confuse and upset her. I would not want to ruin a good friendship, yet I do want to progress the relationship. Although, there is a chance she may know of sex without love,or sex with like (between friends)... Aaugh! I feel so confused. Please reply with straightforward advice. Stay Safe, Christian C. Or you can suggest it to her subtly... "headache"

Purpose in life?

Everything has been doom and gloom these past few weeks. Don't get me wrong, I'll always been here to listen and help with your problems, but I also like to hear about the happy things as well. I enjoy reading about your day. :) The other day you posted about your mom going to the hospital. Is she doing okay now? I'm sure the puppies are like therapy to her. What about you? I know you've been really stressing about leaving the house because of the trolls, but have you been going out some? Being cooped up all day isn't good for you health.

Mon, Jun 4, 2012 at 12:50 AM Mom is fair; she is mostly recovered from pnumonia again. She currently has more energy than I do. The puppies are healthy, strong and mostly well­-behaved. I really, Really, REALLY pray, hope, and wish everything was NOT frigging doom and gloom with me either. I Wish I was NOT Hated and Feared by the entire world for the wrong reasons, as it has been. I am soo tired from stress, it is harder for me to maintain focus in thought. I feel like I just want to go ahead and die naturally, unless the stress kills me first, and I am not going to commit suicide of any sort. At least I don't have to worry about dying a virgin. I feel like my dream of starting up a family with my future sweetheart and having our Crystal daughter is not going to be realized, or come true. We do get out; it was just for June second that I had to stay at home to remove me from any suspicion by the damn Jerkops. We have no respect for the local "police". I slept most of the day away after staying awake for a long while worrying; I crashed at about 8:00 AM. My only great purpose now is for my mother, our two cats, and our two puppies; NO Girlfriend/Sweetheart, as freaking promised from multiple dreams, for Christian Weston Chandler. Only hatred, fear, discrimination, and a whole wide world of extreme, unjustifiable shit... lies in the wake of my once good name. Nobody really, truly understands me. I am sad, confused, lost,... I do not understand. Stay Safe with Peace, Christian W. Chandler (sent from my iPod)

The Hooker and a Court Date

Fri, Apr 6, 2012 at 3:55AM Right before getting out of my car, I had the radio on at Z-95.1; Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" was playing at that moment. And Right after I left, after starting the vehicle, Kelly Clarkson's "Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)" played. If you think about it, at the right times of the occasion, BOTH tracks were soo appropriate and spot-on. Also, the night before, I rewatched the "My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic" episode, 2-18: "A Friend in Deed"; Pinkie Pie sings her delightful "Smile" Song, so in relation, it was playing in my head at times during the day, and it still comes up upon the recall of the whole. And yesterday, the 5th, having all of the pleasant goodness of Mia sexing me up, her likeable friendliness and everything, it really helped me throughout the troubling Court Date (Hearing). I have had to put up with Snyder telling his side of the testimony. He still lies about me and mom hitting him with the van, and even worse, he adds a Third Hit that "Sent him flying through the air". I made my disagreement obvious as stated my "Uh-uh"s, "No"s and left-to-right head shakes; audio backed up on a recorder the judge used, and I can bet there is a camera or more in the courtroom. There were at least 3 or 5 additional instances where the bastard lied within, and his own adding into, what had transpired. And unfortunately, while I still am out of jail, the whole process is still being belabored; mom and I, we have another court date in two weeks to schedule another court date to follow in about two months at the most. Eventually, mom and I will present our testimony, and it is well good that Rob speaks and deals on our behalf. And Snyder got his renewed Protective Order, even though after hearing the reasons, with the Facts that I, myself, acted NOT Violently, but Cowardly on the 10/28/2011 day, the "Owner of a Toy Shop" got his way, mom, Rob and agreed amongst ourselves that the bastard does not deserve it at all. But, on the other hand, Snyder did have a number of slip-ups in giving his testimony; slipping out a few incriminating details about himself, so as long as mom and I keep our distance from him, and our noses clean, we may get out of this yet. But the wire is thin on Me. Well, I have had the down emotions during the excruciating greater-than-three-hours there, but after leaving and some distance away from the building, recalled the events of Wednesday Afternoon, and perked up and smiled again. I Had Sex. I Had Sex. Yes I Did. Yes I Did. (: D I will delete this e-mail from my end, and trust you to keep the details in strictest of confidentiality. Please reply with your thoughts from reading the previous e-mail; look forward in delight to reading your thoughts and input. :) Stay Safe, Christian.

Thu, Apr 12, 2012 at 1:07 AM I haven't heard back from you for like a week. I have been feeling more self-confident since I had sex with Mia. I gave her a gift basket with three apples, lavender air-freshener, breath mints, a 4-gig flash drive with the track sets of the 1990 WTJU jazz marathon, Teenage Dream and Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) ablum tracks, and a Hello Kitty Pez Dispenser to show her my appreciation for the best introductory sexual experience ever, new friendship and new-found self-confidence. I will be hanging out with her again after she gets back into town; more conversation, maybe some lunch; whatever. I can talk with her more about the Cherokee Tribe. She has given me more reasons to Smile a Lot. I have also made more social progress recently by flirting with a pretty banker at the local Kroger's inside bank; Recognizing facial expressions towards the positive is a great, and flattering, ice-breaker. Although finding a number of strict, sad and lonely faces is a bit of a downer. Progress is progress. I also went to Redoak with my mother on vacation last weekend; I hung with her while she planted new bulbs by her father and Corina's graves. We stayed in a hotel on the lake in Clarksville; she always wanted to enjoy a hotel stay, and she did. BTW, I told Rocky half about that as well yesterday; I did not mention Mia's name, OR the details of the act. And while I have told mom about Mia, I half-lied to her about how we met; I told her that Mia and I met at Wal-Mart, had the pleasant conversation and exchanged phone numbers. My mother would freak if I told her that I paid for sex. Anyway, please reply and let me know what's been good with you and Phil, and please let me know what came to mind after reading the details of my first time. TTYL, and Stay Safe; Christian W. Chandler. I owe you one as well for that. :)

Thu, Apr 12, 2012 at 5:32AM Fwd: Another thing —-Original Message—— From: Christian Weston Chandler <chrischansonichuGaol.com.> Before meeting up with Mia, I went to Ultimate Bliss for information on finding the female escorts, this was before trying Mia on the phone; I found a printed flyer on MTV Inexperienced Young Adults Auditions (on the electronic-locking door). I sent them an e-mail recently with interest in finding my Sweetheart.

Fri, Apr 13, 2012 at 9:35PM I have made my final decision; I will make up an open note confirming the unvirgin fact, and as long as they do no get the whole truth, they still have nohing on me, and the can't hold the prolonged virginity over my head anymore. Thank you, TTYL, and Stay Safe. Chrstian.

Sat, Apr 14, 2012 at 7:21 PM Yes, it IS frustrating to deal with mixed signals in communication; a misunderstanding is common in causing fights and wars. The best we can do is attempt to clear away the misunderstandings towards a clear and better understanding towards peace. And you Have stuck by me a long time in keeping communication and keeping close in our friendship, and for that, I am truly grateful. I have also hung out with Mia again today; treated her to a pleasant and good lunch and another good amount of conversation. We got to know each other a little better. Then after returning her to her hotel room, I gave her another little donation towards her funding, and gave her the Missionary. I am Naturally Really Good; a Lot better than had thought before. If I may state, you really missed out on having this bad boy, that has felt tightness within a pussy that gave birth to two girls beforehand; I'd say that hallway would be loosing all of the doors off their hinges with my penetration, relatively speaking (referencing to the "Robot Chicken" sketch with the woman tossing a wiener down a hallway in front her boyfriend; look it up on YouTube). http://ww.youtube.com/watch?v=fEAbPt|42ZE And I have just watched The (New) Three Stooges Movie; it was a lot of laughs, it had a fair set of plots, and I feel the actors captured the essence of the original Moe, Larry and Curly very well. It was neat seeing Larry and Curly watching Moe giving the MTV Jersey Shore gang the pokes, slaps and gags. And the placement of the classic theme song and Act Cards (out of three) were well-placed. And all of the classic references make this movie a real feat for the classic reproduction. Oh, and it had scandal, attempted murder, and a "Dizzy Doctor" bit with mishapped diaper changes that ended up in a water pistol fight. It was very good. :) I will be deleting this e-mail from my end, so please delete the original text when replying, or start a fresh e-mail. TTYL, and Stay Safe, Christian. :)

Tue, Apr 17, 2012 at 7:19 PM To: chrischansonichuGaol.com I'm glad you had another great time with Mia. :) Any future plans with her? How much did you pay her the last time? It doesn't sound as much the way you phrased it. I bet she gave you a discount as a repeat customer, lol Anyhow, didn't you have to go to court the other day? How did that go? Honestly, the way you phrased your Facebook status, it got me worried that it didn't go so hot....Just let me know you and your mother are doing okay. As long as you did nothing wrong, then the justice system will see that you and your mom are innocent, so don't give up hope. There's that saying, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Just remember there's a light at the end of the tunnel (and possibly more fun times with Mia. ;)).

Tue, Apr 17, 2012 at 11:06 PM Firstly, and actually, I paid her 15 minute rate last time, which was 80. I will be seeing Mia again to get some flirting advice and tips, because recently when I tried my ice-breaker of being contemplative on a couple of women's faces, I blanked a bit, lost my place and had to recover, and stuttered a bit. I also plan on getting some more professional kissing practice and input from either Mia or one of her gal friends (she's not fond of tongues in mouth; she is a spot of a germ phobe too, like me). I can't help but feel for her in her situation, like the number of female escorts; she sets a goal of making 3,000 before Saturday to rewards herself with a weekend off. I mean, at the most, she would have to get business from eight people a day to a total of 40 a week. And considering the varying personalities and all, THAT is really tough. But she Really is a good, nice and compassionate woman, and she really appreciates the kind and understanding person that I am. :) On the recent Twitter topic, aside from the Trolls getting that tweet I made after the court date, which went fine; only the waiting was excruciating. I found from the talk pages of the Cwcki on the subject of my sexual intercourse, between the "facebook" and "Virgin With Rage" pages, I laugh now at their crazy talk and theories. I found they get their info from the admin, "Cogsdev", who has a Twitter account, and that was the main reason why I reactivated my account there, to look up her tweets (learned she was a woman from her user page). The trolls' theory of me "spending 250 dollars on a prostitute" spawned from @cogsdev; I do not know where she got that idea from, other than making it up, because I Never used the terms of "spending" or "prostitute" in the sourced facebook entry and Note I typed. I followed her tweets and links within, and could not find much on her source of information. So, earlier today, I Direct Messaged her, asking simply, "What makes you think that I "Hired a Prostitute?" I had the good feeling in sending that message, as well as the Note I earlier typed on facebook. I really shocked the bitch, and gave the Trolls another thing to worry about from me. I am finally giving THEM a scare back; it is to laugh. ::j I have a couple of thoughts to offer in your vacation paragraph. "Relax or Party"; that is a question. It depends on what you really feel. Do you really feel that you have been pestered, bothered or such from at least 5 or 10 people? Or do you feel that your life has been considerably repetitive and needs something zesty and fresh? I feel it good to analyze the recent events of your life, so you can get a better idea towards your answer of "To Relax or to Party". Also, I have heard of Ocean City, but what is "Nags"? I have never heard of that place before.

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