Difference between revisions of "Attraction Sign"
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==Comeback?== | ==Comeback?== | ||
[[File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 4.jpg|thumb|Attraction sign as of July 2014]] | |||
An [[April 2012]] [[Facebook]] status reveals that Chris plans to go back to his roots in [[Wal-Mart|stalking innocent women in public]] [[Target|with the sign.]] | An [[April 2012]] [[Facebook]] status reveals that Chris plans to go back to his roots in [[Wal-Mart|stalking innocent women in public]] [[Target|with the sign.]] | ||
Revision as of 06:14, 9 July 2014
| “ | The Only Reasonable and Inexpensive Idea he could ever fucking think of | ” |
| Chris, talking in third person.[1] | ||
Chris uses an Attraction Sign during his Love Quest to get the attention of boyfriend-free girls. Surprisingly, the sight of a fat, sweaty, smelly manchild soliciting with an Attraction Sign actually had the opposite effect on da ladies.
An early version ran "I am a "X"-Year Old Male, Seeking an 18-"X"-Year Old Single Woman."[2]
Signs
The Sign, Mark 1
The original sign, created in 2003 when Chris first started his Love Quest at the age of 21, is perhaps the most notable and lulzy of them all.
- 21 and Single White Male...
- -Shy -Smart -Young at Heart -Computer skilled
- -Humorous -A great thinker and go-getter -"Natural salesperson" -Enjoys good parts of life
- -Diplomatic -Friendly -Loves his family -Peaceful -Very creative -_He's lonely_
- ...Seeking a CUTE ♀18-21 SINGLE ♀FEMALE♀ COMPANION
- *18-21 years of age *does _not_ already have a boyfriend *Single
- -Average to Slender Weight/Body Type -White -Lives in Charolettesville or Ruckersville area
- *Does NOT Smoke or Drink Alcohol -Happy, Positive Personality
- *Average/High Income -Drives a vehicle
- If any ♂MEN♂ read this huge sign...
- MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!
- (And to all MEN with girlfriends, except marrieds and blacks, go jump off a cliff)
- Have a nice day ☺
Chris had other ideas beyond signs, but said that "Newspaper/Magazine Ads, Online Dating Sites, Video Dating Services to name a few; THEY COST MONEY."
The Sign through the ages
One reason for the multiple signs is that Mary Lee Walsh kept confiscating them. Chris waged war by creating MySpace and Facebook accounts, then printing new signs and spamming them all over campus.[3]
Sign from age 22. Based on its shape, it is likely meant to be attached to the cover of a Nintendo DS.
Cover of a pamphlet on attracting girls.
Sign from age 23.
Miscellaneous paraphernalia used in conjunction with the Attraction Sign.
Hiatus
Chris deserted the sign for a brief period.
| “ | During all this, I learned from my mother that the sign made me look retarded, and eventually, I did away with the sign. | ” |
| Chris[4] | ||
Return of the Sign
In June 2010, Chris wore a shirt saying "I Enjoy Vagina" and exposing his bra saying "Want Woman!" over his flabby gut, thus showing that he's not even trying anymore.[5] While this display is less pleasant and more direct than the Attraction Signs, his reasoning for each seems to be the same: if he just reveals to boyfriend-free girls what he wants via literal, verbal language, any of them will want to give it to him regardless of how bizarre, off-putting, and out of touch with their wants and needs that revelation is. This lends even further credence to his ridiculous sense of entitlement and that he never understood why the Sign made him look like a retard in the first place and he hasn't grown, matured, or learned anything since he stopped using it.
A few weeks later, on 4 July 2010, Chris attempted to attract a woman at a local fireworks celebration by wrapping a note around a small rock and throwing it at her. Combined with the earlier "Want Woman!" tactic, this caused several trolls to assume Chris was beginning to turn into some sort of caveman.
Later that same week, Chris was spotted and photographed twice at Fridays After Five again. In both photographs, he is shown to have placed a small piece of paper between his legs. Exactly what he wrote on it is unknown, but it is reasonable to assume that Chris has reverted to the Attraction Sign once more, likely because someone told him that children shouldn't be able to see his sports bra.
On 16 July 2010, Chris again terrorized the poor women of Charlottesville at the Fridays After Five gathering, with a new sign that read "Friendly and Flirty Man Zone".[6] He also employed a portable mini fan and a hula hoop, in what experts believe is probably a desperate attempt to make himself look fun and cool. Spoiler Alert: It didn't work.
In a 2012 Facebook status update, Chris mentioned that he plans to wear a sign around his neck that says, "If you like me, tell me!"[7]
Comeback?
An April 2012 Facebook status reveals that Chris plans to go back to his roots in stalking innocent women in public with the sign.
| “ | The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to Fashion Square Shopping Center in Charlottesville, Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my Sweetheart Search with Full On Guns a Blazin'. | ” |
| Chris[8] | ||
He later revealed in another note that he was lying in an attempt to troll the trolls. Obviously, it didn't work.[9]
On July 2014, his OKCupid account was revived, which resulted in a few new photos of Chris. One of these photos showcases a new version of the sign (made out of Legos) stating "HEY LADIES I'M SINGLE PLEASE ASK ME OUT". Despite this, it is unknown if he plans to return to using it in public.
Sources
- ↑ List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica
- ↑ White knight E-mails
- ↑ User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens
- ↑ User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Continuing, Enduring Search
- ↑ Fridays After Five
- ↑ Fridays After Five
- ↑ Facebook statuses
- ↑ Facebook statuses
- ↑ Facebook statuses
See also
Sources
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